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Anon has a great cousin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)23:56:44 No.49733868 >be me >beta suicidal virgin >go to uni >pretty miserable and not a lot of friends >most people know that i am 99 KB PNG depressed >get a text from a cousin >he tells me not to kill myself >w--.jpg >"did you also become on of those f--- who tell me not to cuz of no reasons?" >"no anon i have great plans. We gonna live together, get hella bitchez, play lots of vidya and have a f------ mansion." >mfw it is the best thing i have ever heard in my life >mfw someone wants me in their life >mfw it has been a week since that text but i am still happy Thank you, cousin 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 12/08/18(Sat)23:56:44 No.49733868 >be me >beta suicidal virgin >go to uni >pretty miserable and not a lot of friends >most people know that i am 99 KB PNG depressed >get a text from a cousin >he tells me not to kill myself >w--.jpg >"did you also become on of those f--- who tell me not to cuz of no reasons?" >"no anon i have great plans. We gonna live together, get hella bitchez, play lots of vidya and have a f------ mansion." >mfw it is the best thing i have ever heard in my life >mfw someone wants me in their life >mfw it has been a week since that text but i am still happy Thank you, cousin 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon goes on a date with a real qt 3.14 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F ) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of >nothing even remotely 4 KB JPG close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"
: Anonymous (ID: VpsQfP9F ) E 06/20/19(Thu)07:16:45 No.216880530 >date is going well >politics gets brought up >don't want to scare her >spout the most normie, bluepilled, centrist opinions I can think of >nothing even remotely 4 KB JPG close to right of center >"Oh god, you're not an alt-righter, are you?"

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Anon rolls tide. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)09:39:48 No.873601966 >be me >drunk at annual family picnic thing >me and my female cousin are sharing a bottle >accidentally brush up on her b------- >she laughs and shoves them in my face >l pretend to bite her nipple >"do it, I dare you" >she moans as I do it >my d--- becomes diamonds >she "accidentally" brushes the back of her hand on it >stokes my c--- through pants while I play with her t--- >slide my hand up her thigh and stole her clit through her pants >she grinds on my hand and keeps stoking me >I c-- buckets >she c--- hard and collapses next to me >"well that was less weird than I thought, our secret" >never speaks of it again
: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)09:39:48 No.873601966 >be me >drunk at annual family picnic thing >me and my female cousin are sharing a bottle >accidentally brush up on her b------- >she laughs and shoves them in my face >l pretend to bite her nipple >"do it, I dare you" >she moans as I do it >my d--- becomes diamonds >she "accidentally" brushes the back of her hand on it >stokes my c--- through pants while I play with her t--- >slide my hand up her thigh and stole her clit through her pants >she grinds on my hand and keeps stoking me >I c-- buckets >she c--- hard and collapses next to me >"well that was less weird than I thought, our secret" >never speaks of it again

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 02/01/18(Thu)12:56:35 No.94008428 File: feelstooreal.gif (263 KB, 319x255) >>94004782 (OP) >watch movie with parents >Father tells his son that he loves him >look to my dad >"Don't get any stupid f------ ideas" >0-okay
U Anonymous 02/01/18(Thu)12:56:35 No.94008428 File: feelstooreal.gif (263 KB, 319x255) >>94004782 (OP) >watch movie with parents >Father tells his son that he loves him >look to my dad >"Don't get any stupid f------ ideas" >0-okay

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Anon trys meth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)02:46:20 No.791658710 >be me >post true greentext about jacking off into my sisters panties >gets on reddit >sister is redditfag >shows me the story 25 KB PNG >fake laugh and spaghetti all over the floor >make up excuse about violent diarrhea before leaving >return all stolen panties >mfw this makes it on reddit to0 hi emma
: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)02:46:20 No.791658710 >be me >post true greentext about jacking off into my sisters panties >gets on reddit >sister is redditfag >shows me the story 25 KB PNG >fake laugh and spaghetti all over the floor >make up excuse about violent diarrhea before leaving >return all stolen panties >mfw this makes it on reddit to0 hi emma

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Anon is an expert in tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc >wait until they finish 16 KB JPG >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up
Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)18:49:22 No.67247464 >get a call from random number >"Greetings, am I speaking to mister anon?" >"Yes" >"We would like to inform you about a new offer for your mobile plan" etc etc >wait until they finish 16 KB JPG >"I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear you" >they are forced to repeat it >do this for about 4 times >finally say "Sorry, I am not interested." >hang up

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Anon had advice for Putin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LD6ZSecq 03/01/22(Tue)00:36:07 No.364304043 ruscucks morale shot, organizational chaos >Russian economy collapses >Germany no longer pacifist >Switzerland no longer neutral >Mass weapon donation to Ukraine 556 KB JPG >Rush of non-NATO countries to gain NATO membership >Ukrainian president beloved by his people and the world Putin + supporters should just kill themselves now.
: Anonymous (ID: LD6ZSecq 03/01/22(Tue)00:36:07 No.364304043 ruscucks morale shot, organizational chaos >Russian economy collapses >Germany no longer pacifist >Switzerland no longer neutral >Mass weapon donation to Ukraine 556 KB JPG >Rush of non-NATO countries to gain NATO membership >Ukrainian president beloved by his people and the world Putin + supporters should just kill themselves now.

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Anon's life is ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: oaM30+zh 11/18/18(Sun)00:26:12 No.193822806 His ex accused him of an attack that could have meant >your ex-gf accuses you of breaking into her home, assaulting her, and carving an 'X' in her neck >police immediately arrest you and charge you with burglary and assault that can get you life in life in prison. A selfie saved him. 213 KB JPG prison >your parents get $150,000 in debt trying to hire a lawyer and post your bail >people are convinced you did it and you have no alibi to say otherwise >your mom suddenly finds a selfie pic you sent her that was dated at the time of the assault >turns out that pic clears you of all charges since it placed you away from the scene of the crime >your ex-gf gets off scott-free with no charges for lying while you had your life ruined
: Anonymous (ID: oaM30+zh 11/18/18(Sun)00:26:12 No.193822806 His ex accused him of an attack that could have meant >your ex-gf accuses you of breaking into her home, assaulting her, and carving an 'X' in her neck >police immediately arrest you and charge you with burglary and assault that can get you life in life in prison. A selfie saved him. 213 KB JPG prison >your parents get $150,000 in debt trying to hire a lawyer and post your bail >people are convinced you did it and you have no alibi to say otherwise >your mom suddenly finds a selfie pic you sent her that was dated at the time of the assault >turns out that pic clears you of all charges since it placed you away from the scene of the crime >your ex-gf gets off scott-free with no charges for lying while you had your life ruined

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Anon is ungovernable | /r/Greentext

62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly
62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly

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Anon sends a toad into space | /r/Greentext

Commencing experiment in amphibian aviation. 6/1/2011 14:28 EST 6/11/2011 Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)14:44:44 No.331649063 File 1306953884.jpg-(110 KB, 862x645, Docility.jpg) Frog is being put in cryogenic stasis for docility during the attachment of aviation equipment and will be revived. 240M OP 06/01/11(Wed)14:56:07 No.331650530 File 1306954567.jpg-(87 KB, 856x641, vodka.jpg) Frog not becoming docile quickly enough. Now adding vodka to the equation. 251 M OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:02:58 No.331651484 File 1306954978.jpg-(84 KB, 856x638, pissdrunk.jpg) Toad is now sufficiently docile. Attempting to attach state- of-the-art aviation equipment... 6/1/2011 2.54pm OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:18:03 No.331653601 File1306955883.jpg-(144 KB, 802x906, prepared.jpg) Aviation equipment attached. Preparing for launch. Nevar forget The day /b/ sent a toad into SPACE chan4chan.com
Commencing experiment in amphibian aviation. 6/1/2011 14:28 EST 6/11/2011 Anonymous 06/01/11(Wed)14:44:44 No.331649063 File 1306953884.jpg-(110 KB, 862x645, Docility.jpg) Frog is being put in cryogenic stasis for docility during the attachment of aviation equipment and will be revived. 240M OP 06/01/11(Wed)14:56:07 No.331650530 File 1306954567.jpg-(87 KB, 856x641, vodka.jpg) Frog not becoming docile quickly enough. Now adding vodka to the equation. 251 M OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:02:58 No.331651484 File 1306954978.jpg-(84 KB, 856x638, pissdrunk.jpg) Toad is now sufficiently docile. Attempting to attach state- of-the-art aviation equipment... 6/1/2011 2.54pm OP 06/01/11(Wed)15:18:03 No.331653601 File1306955883.jpg-(144 KB, 802x906, prepared.jpg) Aviation equipment attached. Preparing for launch. Nevar forget The day /b/ sent a toad into SPACE chan4chan.com

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Anons do a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:45:18 No.873593293 pro trans thread 1 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:47:13 No.873593343 TRANS RIGHTS OBLU X6 joehoma.png 547 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:45:18 No.873593293 pro trans thread 1 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:47:13 No.873593343 TRANS RIGHTS OBLU X6 joehoma.png 547 KB PNG

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Anon is a detective. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)09:24:39 No.873601386 >Be Me >Married dead bedroom >Suspicious of wife >Very secretive all of a sudden >Fapping at my computer one night >Notice stains on carpet beside sofa >Investigate and stains also on sofa >Looks like dried in j--- 37 KB JPG >Flashback's of when she use to blow me in that very spot >Clean it up and say nothing to my wife >Week later similar stains appear >Again I clean it up >Again it reappears every week or two >Always after days I'm in office >Start checking laundry >Find similar stains on one of her tops buried at the bottom of basket >She obviously cheating >Already called lawyer about divorce >Gathering evidence now so she doesn't flip this and try keep the house >Camera set up >l'm in office today >Let's catch this bitch 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)09:24:39 No.873601386 >Be Me >Married dead bedroom >Suspicious of wife >Very secretive all of a sudden >Fapping at my computer one night >Notice stains on carpet beside sofa >Investigate and stains also on sofa >Looks like dried in j--- 37 KB JPG >Flashback's of when she use to blow me in that very spot >Clean it up and say nothing to my wife >Week later similar stains appear >Again I clean it up >Again it reappears every week or two >Always after days I'm in office >Start checking laundry >Find similar stains on one of her tops buried at the bottom of basket >She obviously cheating >Already called lawyer about divorce >Gathering evidence now so she doesn't flip this and try keep the house >Camera set up >l'm in office today >Let's catch this bitch 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets older | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:59:11 No.67610990 Turning 25 in an hour. Feel so old its making me super depressed 1.66 MB GIF : Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)05:00:28 No.67610998 >>67610990 (OP) # I'm 35. Shut the f--- up.
: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)04:59:11 No.67610990 Turning 25 in an hour. Feel so old its making me super depressed 1.66 MB GIF : Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)05:00:28 No.67610998 >>67610990 (OP) # I'm 35. Shut the f--- up.

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Anon suits up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XMscJk1K F--- 01/09/18(Tue)18:53:19 No.15616299 >be me >Dad is a tailor cuz family business >me and brother work in tailor shop as teens >I go to college to become a marine biologist 86 KB JPG >brother becomes tailor with Dad >back from college, major in econ, minor in marine bio >unemployed.oof >Dad wants me to work at tailor shop >tell my dad that l'll help him on busy days while I search for a better paying job >busy day >dad calls me in >fuckton of gays getting suits fitted for a gay wedding >they all want rainbow stitched to their breast pocket >look in back of store for multicolored thread >I can only find this faux leather sinewy s--- that works decently as stitching >one of the f--- is vegan "Is that made on real leather? Because I don't want any cows on my breast" "No sir, this thread is fake and gay"
: Anonymous (ID: XMscJk1K F--- 01/09/18(Tue)18:53:19 No.15616299 >be me >Dad is a tailor cuz family business >me and brother work in tailor shop as teens >I go to college to become a marine biologist 86 KB JPG >brother becomes tailor with Dad >back from college, major in econ, minor in marine bio >unemployed.oof >Dad wants me to work at tailor shop >tell my dad that l'll help him on busy days while I search for a better paying job >busy day >dad calls me in >fuckton of gays getting suits fitted for a gay wedding >they all want rainbow stitched to their breast pocket >look in back of store for multicolored thread >I can only find this faux leather sinewy s--- that works decently as stitching >one of the f--- is vegan "Is that made on real leather? Because I don't want any cows on my breast" "No sir, this thread is fake and gay"

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a gigachad | /r/Greentext


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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes the fatpill | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right|
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right|

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Was it worth it? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: yw+C4FGK ) Was the invasion worth it fina(...) 02/28/22(Mon)19:00:21 No.46922356 >Their economy is crumbling >Ruble has fallen nearly 30%, worth ONE cent >Russian banks are collapsing >EU, US and Canada closes airspace >Shell withdrawals from Gazprom 239 KB JPG >Anti-war protests in major Russian cities >GM, Audi, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, Mercedes, Citroen, Renault suspended shipments of cars to Russia >Volvo suspended production and sale of cars >Kicked out UEFA, FIFA and IIHF competitions >EU donates fighter jets for the first time >Eu will finance the purchase and supply weapons for the first time >Switzerland is no longer neutral and freezes assets >EU terminates agreement for issuing visas >Russian oligarch foreign assets seized and frozen >Kicked out of SWIFT >Turkey blocks Bosphorus for Russian navy >Visa and Mastercard of RU banks will no longer work abroad >Finland possibly fast tracked to join NATO (polls: more that half residents support joining) >Ukraine and NATO/EU closer than ever >Assets of central bank of Russia will be frozen ($643billion) >Intel and AMD stopped supplying chips >All gold and foreign exchange reserve of Central bank have been restrained and are blocked >BP is getting rid of its stake in Rosneft >EU banned operations related to the managment of reserves and assets of the central bank >South Korea will no longer supply strategic materials to Russia >Finnish corporation Ryhma second largest in the country removing goods from Russia >Sberbank bans withdrawals from investment accounts for the next 10 days >Schalke04 terminated contract with Gazprom >Top Russian oligarchs speak out against war >Chinese government has prohibited state banks from financing purchases of Russian commodities >All Canadian financial institutions are prohibited from engaging in any transaction with the Russian Central Bank >Norway drops Russia from 1.3$ trillion dollar wealth fund
: Anonymous (ID: yw+C4FGK ) Was the invasion worth it fina(...) 02/28/22(Mon)19:00:21 No.46922356 >Their economy is crumbling >Ruble has fallen nearly 30%, worth ONE cent >Russian banks are collapsing >EU, US and Canada closes airspace >Shell withdrawals from Gazprom 239 KB JPG >Anti-war protests in major Russian cities >GM, Audi, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, Mercedes, Citroen, Renault suspended shipments of cars to Russia >Volvo suspended production and sale of cars >Kicked out UEFA, FIFA and IIHF competitions >EU donates fighter jets for the first time >Eu will finance the purchase and supply weapons for the first time >Switzerland is no longer neutral and freezes assets >EU terminates agreement for issuing visas >Russian oligarch foreign assets seized and frozen >Kicked out of SWIFT >Turkey blocks Bosphorus for Russian navy >Visa and Mastercard of RU banks will no longer work abroad >Finland possibly fast tracked to join NATO (polls: more that half residents support joining) >Ukraine and NATO/EU closer than ever >Assets of central bank of Russia will be frozen ($643billion) >Intel and AMD stopped supplying chips >All gold and foreign exchange reserve of Central bank have been restrained and are blocked >BP is getting rid of its stake in Rosneft >EU banned operations related to the managment of reserves and assets of the central bank >South Korea will no longer supply strategic materials to Russia >Finnish corporation Ryhma second largest in the country removing goods from Russia >Sberbank bans withdrawals from investment accounts for the next 10 days >Schalke04 terminated contract with Gazprom >Top Russian oligarchs speak out against war >Chinese government has prohibited state banks from financing purchases of Russian commodities >All Canadian financial institutions are prohibited from engaging in any transaction with the Russian Central Bank >Norway drops Russia from 1.3$ trillion dollar wealth fund

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