Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon needs to be culled from the gene pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:03:22 No.49347279 >be me >fat neet >no gf obviously >have a oneitis type crush >would literally do anything to get her 20 KB JPG >start dieting and exercising >stop jerking off dry, instead buy fleshlight and lube >feelsgoodman >start really liking the fleshlight >decide to give it a name >the same name as my oneitis >decide to tell it to her as a compliment >get blocked : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:05:39 No.49347304 >>49347279 (OP) # >decide to tell it to her as a compliment 31 KB JPG

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:03:22 No.49347279 >be me >fat neet >no gf obviously >have a oneitis type crush >would literally do anything to get her 20 KB JPG >start dieting and exercising >stop jerking off dry, instead buy fleshlight and lube >feelsgoodman >start really liking the fleshlight >decide to give it a name >the same name as my oneitis >decide to tell it to her as a compliment >get blocked : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)07:05:39 No.49347304 >>49347279 (OP) # >decide to tell it to her as a compliment 31 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon Is a Diferent Case | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon jerks off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)07:50:25 No.67623345 >Be Me >Be Younger >Be Somewhat Retarded >Be EFL, but don't understand the euphemism "Jerking Off" >Somehow think that it just means wasting time and not doing anything productive. >Use the phrase constantly for years. 10 KB JPG Friends: "Hey Anon, what are you doing this weekend?" >l dunno, just jerking off I guess Teachers: "Hey Anon, why didn't you finish your assignment?" >Sorry I spent all last night jerking off. Stacy: "Are you going to the dance Anon?" >Naw, I will probably just stay home and j-------. Siblings: "Help with the chores Anon!" >No! Just leave me alone to j------- Coach: "You gained some weight in the off season Anon." >Ya, sorry, to much jerking off. Grandmother: "Did you like spending the week with us Anon." >It was great Grandma, but I think I jerked off to much Boss: "You gonna finish everything this sprint?" >Ya if I can keep from jerking off. The list goes on and on but ... >No one corrects me >No one challenges me >No one disciplines me >Most are unsure how to react >Turn 30, cold boot understanding.exe >Learn soon after that I am generally known as the j------- guy. What the f---? How did all the normies let me do this for years? In retrospect maybe it was kind of a life hack with how much it put everyone off balance while I was totally oblivious. But overall, probably not a great trade off for always being known as the j------- guy.

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)07:50:25 No.67623345 >Be Me >Be Younger >Be Somewhat Retarded >Be EFL, but don't understand the euphemism "Jerking Off" >Somehow think that it just means wasting time and not doing anything productive. >Use the phrase constantly for years. 10 KB JPG Friends: "Hey Anon, what are you doing this weekend?" >l dunno, just jerking off I guess Teachers: "Hey Anon, why didn't you finish your assignment?" >Sorry I spent all last night jerking off. Stacy: "Are you going to the dance Anon?" >Naw, I will probably just stay home and j-------. Siblings: "Help with the chores Anon!" >No! Just leave me alone to j------- Coach: "You gained some weight in the off season Anon." >Ya, sorry, to much jerking off. Grandmother: "Did you like spending the week with us Anon." >It was great Grandma, but I think I jerked off to much Boss: "You gonna finish everything this sprint?" >Ya if I can keep from jerking off. The list goes on and on but ... >No one corrects me >No one challenges me >No one disciplines me >Most are unsure how to react >Turn 30, cold boot understanding.exe >Learn soon after that I am generally known as the j------- guy. What the f---? How did all the normies let me do this for years? In retrospect maybe it was kind of a life hack with how much it put everyone off balance while I was totally oblivious. But overall, probably not a great trade off for always being known as the j------- guy.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

tfw you know anon will never have a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

anon goes to the movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/19(Thu)22:02:50 No.790268566 >be me at the movies after a pretty s--- day (that dragon ball super broly movie btw) >random guy sits beside me since there's nowhere for his whole family to sit together 36 KB JPG >he's loaded with snacks >"hey anon do you want some of this popcorn and snacks? i'm not gonna be able to eat all of it" (i take that s--- obviously i'm a fatass) >anytime i ran out of popcorn he always gave me more since he had refills, even when the movie was over he asked if i wanted anymore thanks random movie guy

: Anonymous 01/17/19(Thu)22:02:50 No.790268566 >be me at the movies after a pretty s--- day (that dragon ball super broly movie btw) >random guy sits beside me since there's nowhere for his whole family to sit together 36 KB JPG >he's loaded with snacks >"hey anon do you want some of this popcorn and snacks? i'm not gonna be able to eat all of it" (i take that s--- obviously i'm a fatass) >anytime i ran out of popcorn he always gave me more since he had refills, even when the movie was over he asked if i wanted anymore thanks random movie guy

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Vodka Rats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H8//+tY8 ) 03/02/22(Wed)06:18:52 No.364615125 >russians are smashing their apple products to "own" the americans Imao, vodka rats really are retarded beyond belief. 2.8 MB WEBM 257 Replies / 40 Images View Thread

: Anonymous (ID: H8//+tY8 ) 03/02/22(Wed)06:18:52 No.364615125 >russians are smashing their apple products to "own" the americans Imao, vodka rats really are retarded beyond belief. 2.8 MB WEBM 257 Replies / 40 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon Invites Everyone To Brazil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YKQJqam7 Come to Brazil 03/02/22(Wed)07:44:26 No.364626038 >Are you a Russian/Belarussian who wants to flee your country? >Are you an Ukrainan refugee who thinks that Russia will send an all-out attack in Europe? >Are you an European/American who fears nuclear Armageddon and wants 27 KB PNG to stay away? So, come to Brazil. After next Sunday we will officially start our tourist low season. >Brazil doesn't belong to NATO. >Although we condemned Russia invasion in Ukraine at UN, Bonoro explictly said we are "neutral", which means that we are not the target for Russian nukes. >Even if Russia adopts Samson option, you will have at least two hours to flee if they use hypersonic missles. 184 Replies / 36 Images View Thread

: Anonymous (ID: YKQJqam7 Come to Brazil 03/02/22(Wed)07:44:26 No.364626038 >Are you a Russian/Belarussian who wants to flee your country? >Are you an Ukrainan refugee who thinks that Russia will send an all-out attack in Europe? >Are you an European/American who fears nuclear Armageddon and wants 27 KB PNG to stay away? So, come to Brazil. After next Sunday we will officially start our tourist low season. >Brazil doesn't belong to NATO. >Although we condemned Russia invasion in Ukraine at UN, Bonoro explictly said we are "neutral", which means that we are not the target for Russian nukes. >Even if Russia adopts Samson option, you will have at least two hours to flee if they use hypersonic missles. 184 Replies / 36 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon gets a haircut. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)10:04:07 No.67627411 >ask the hairdresser for a classic comb over >l get the zoomer haircut 6 KB JPG Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)10:13:17 No.67627479 OP be straight bussin fr fr no cap, and that's 100

Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)10:04:07 No.67627411 >ask the hairdresser for a classic comb over >l get the zoomer haircut 6 KB JPG Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)10:13:17 No.67627479 OP be straight bussin fr fr no cap, and that's 100

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font

288 days until avatar 2 | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext water font boats and boating--equipment and supplies

Anon considers their life choices. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)04:30:34 No.873652583 >Knew a woman who was a high end prostitute >She would make a bank in one state and move to a different state and start all over again >She has been all over the country doing 120 KB JPG this >Eventually she invested all of her income in real estate >Now, she lives off her rental income and has a net-worth in millions View Thread

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)04:30:34 No.873652583 >Knew a woman who was a high end prostitute >She would make a bank in one state and move to a different state and start all over again >She has been all over the country doing 120 KB JPG this >Eventually she invested all of her income in real estate >Now, she lives off her rental income and has a net-worth in millions View Thread

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon likes a girl | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon tried to escape Ukraine | /r/Greentext

> Be me > Ukrainian refugee > Attempting to flee for my life as the tanks advance on Kyiv. > Drive for hundreds of miles > Finally see it, on the horizon.. > Poland > Phewimsafe.pierogi > Suddenly, hear a loud PHWOOSH behind me > Turn around to see a fiery cloud mushrooming > Pedal to the metal, push my Lada to 140mph trying to get across to Poland now, it's so close > Suddenly, a wave of heat and light washes over me > Whitenoise.borscht > Don't know how long l'm out > Open my eyes, I'm in the woods, did I make it through?? > Hey. You. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Goddamnit Todd Howard.

> Be me > Ukrainian refugee > Attempting to flee for my life as the tanks advance on Kyiv. > Drive for hundreds of miles > Finally see it, on the horizon.. > Poland > Phewimsafe.pierogi > Suddenly, hear a loud PHWOOSH behind me > Turn around to see a fiery cloud mushrooming > Pedal to the metal, push my Lada to 140mph trying to get across to Poland now, it's so close > Suddenly, a wave of heat and light washes over me > Whitenoise.borscht > Don't know how long l'm out > Open my eyes, I'm in the woods, did I make it through?? > Hey. You. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Goddamnit Todd Howard.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon needs dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:34:48 No.873658473 > Hot 9/10 at soup kitchen I volunteer at >She's honestly one of the most pure people I've ever met >Laughs at my pathetic jokes, gives me vending machine snacks > Unironically the nicest girl ever 26 KB JPG How can I make this literal angel fall in love with me anons 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:36:24 No.873658519 Pour hot soup on her and s--- in her face you a------ : Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:37:46 No.873658557 >>873658473 (OP) # Just keep being yourself, it seems to be working anon. Why on gods green earth would you come to /b/ for advice about how to make girls LIKE you?

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:34:48 No.873658473 > Hot 9/10 at soup kitchen I volunteer at >She's honestly one of the most pure people I've ever met >Laughs at my pathetic jokes, gives me vending machine snacks > Unironically the nicest girl ever 26 KB JPG How can I make this literal angel fall in love with me anons 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:36:24 No.873658519 Pour hot soup on her and s--- in her face you a------ : Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)08:37:46 No.873658557 >>873658473 (OP) # Just keep being yourself, it seems to be working anon. Why on gods green earth would you come to /b/ for advice about how to make girls LIKE you?

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font emoticon

Anon do the math | /r/Greentext

File : 1314299699.jpg-(10 KB, 233x215, 1302288966439.jpg) O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:14 No.53842383 0 It's 1 pm and I want to fap what do /a/? > O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:15 No.53842410 00 File1314299757.jpg-(43 KB, 410x424, 1282862189085.jpg) >>53842383 do it TIME TO FAP 28 replies later >>53843118 >You are incorrect in believing America has enough nukes to take down 90% of Chinas population >they have enough to take out 100% of the land mass many times over. WRONG YOU DUMB S---. LEARN THE DESTRUCTIVE RADIUS OF AN ATOMIC BOMB BEFORE YOU CLICK ON THAT F------ SUBMIT BUTTON THE AVERAGE YIELD OF A NUCLEAR BOMB IN THE CURRENT U.S ARSENAL IS ROUGHLY 300 KILOTONS A 300 kiloTON DETONATION WOULD CREATE A FIREBALL WITH A RADIUS OF 3.5 MILES WHICH IS ABOUT 5.6 KILOMETERS THIS GIVES US A DESTRUCTION AREA OF 98.5 KILOMETERS SQUARED THE U.S CURRENTLY OWNS 5113 NUCLEAR WARHEADS WHICH MEANS A TOTAL DESTRUCTIVE AREA, IF WARHEAD DETONATIONS DID NOT OVERLAP AT ALL, OF 5113 x 98.5 = ABOUT 500000 SQUARED KILOMETERS. WHICH IS HALF A MILLION. CHINA HAS A LAND SIZE OF ABOUT 9.3 MILLION SQUARED KILOMETERS. THE TOTAL U.S ARSENAL CAN THEREFORE ONLY DESTROY 0.5/9.3 = LESS THAN 5.4% LEARN 2 F------ MATHS F----- GB2/GRADE SCHOOL [I NOT OWNED [JOWNED [X] F------ OWNED [X] TOLD LIKE A BITCH O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:45 No.53843509 00 File1314301558. ipg-(35 KB, 493x387, 1304524579269.jpg) Op here I'm fapping and... WHAT THE F--- IS HAPPENING IN THIS THREAD? Preload images (12) Expand images L Reply 28 replies, 2 sages lal

File : 1314299699.jpg-(10 KB, 233x215, 1302288966439.jpg) O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:14 No.53842383 0 It's 1 pm and I want to fap what do /a/? > O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:15 No.53842410 00 File1314299757.jpg-(43 KB, 410x424, 1282862189085.jpg) >>53842383 do it TIME TO FAP 28 replies later >>53843118 >You are incorrect in believing America has enough nukes to take down 90% of Chinas population >they have enough to take out 100% of the land mass many times over. WRONG YOU DUMB S---. LEARN THE DESTRUCTIVE RADIUS OF AN ATOMIC BOMB BEFORE YOU CLICK ON THAT F------ SUBMIT BUTTON THE AVERAGE YIELD OF A NUCLEAR BOMB IN THE CURRENT U.S ARSENAL IS ROUGHLY 300 KILOTONS A 300 kiloTON DETONATION WOULD CREATE A FIREBALL WITH A RADIUS OF 3.5 MILES WHICH IS ABOUT 5.6 KILOMETERS THIS GIVES US A DESTRUCTION AREA OF 98.5 KILOMETERS SQUARED THE U.S CURRENTLY OWNS 5113 NUCLEAR WARHEADS WHICH MEANS A TOTAL DESTRUCTIVE AREA, IF WARHEAD DETONATIONS DID NOT OVERLAP AT ALL, OF 5113 x 98.5 = ABOUT 500000 SQUARED KILOMETERS. WHICH IS HALF A MILLION. CHINA HAS A LAND SIZE OF ABOUT 9.3 MILLION SQUARED KILOMETERS. THE TOTAL U.S ARSENAL CAN THEREFORE ONLY DESTROY 0.5/9.3 = LESS THAN 5.4% LEARN 2 F------ MATHS F----- GB2/GRADE SCHOOL [I NOT OWNED [JOWNED [X] F------ OWNED [X] TOLD LIKE A BITCH O Anonymous 08/25/11(Thu)15:45 No.53843509 00 File1314301558. ipg-(35 KB, 493x387, 1304524579269.jpg) Op here I'm fapping and... WHAT THE F--- IS HAPPENING IN THIS THREAD? Preload images (12) Expand images L Reply 28 replies, 2 sages lal

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Do Anons have brains | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vertebrate organism mammal font

Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)23:56:03 No.67620346 i'm genuinely not attracted to asian women, but i keep having dreams where i f--- them what is happening 132 KB JPG

: Anonymous 03/01/22(Tue)23:56:03 No.67620346 i'm genuinely not attracted to asian women, but i keep having dreams where i f--- them what is happening 132 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font happy

Anon stands with Ukraine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)00:47:54 No.873644472 >Be me >Strong leader >Good to my people >Treat my family well >Lead my nation with bravery and courage 6 KB JPG >Looked up to by the citizens of my country >Skilled in combat >Willing to die for my country >Be Volodymyr Zelenskyy >Pic unrelated

: Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)00:47:54 No.873644472 >Be me >Strong leader >Good to my people >Treat my family well >Lead my nation with bravery and courage 6 KB JPG >Looked up to by the citizens of my country >Skilled in combat >Willing to die for my country >Be Volodymyr Zelenskyy >Pic unrelated

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext tie font collar

anon has an addiction | /r/Greentext

File: 1F6159F2-0472-42C3-B62A-F(...).jpg (360 KB, 1600x2260) Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)14:36:52 No.67625193 [Reply] >tell myself i won't j------- today >c-- 3 times in 25 minutes

File: 1F6159F2-0472-42C3-B62A-F(...).jpg (360 KB, 1600x2260) Anonymous 03/02/22(Wed)14:36:52 No.67625193 [Reply] >tell myself i won't j------- today >c-- 3 times in 25 minutes

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext gesture

Anon is a mailman | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 06/18/19(Tue)22:42:45 No.802596335 File: 3ef.jpg (32 KB, 500x333) >start as mailman/data entry >climb my way through the ranks >become CEO >lay everyone off >sell the company >mfw

U Anonymous 06/18/19(Tue)22:42:45 No.802596335 File: 3ef.jpg (32 KB, 500x333) >start as mailman/data entry >climb my way through the ranks >become CEO >lay everyone off >sell the company >mfw

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile happy font

Anon Wakes Up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what l've seen, it's working.

: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what l've seen, it's working.

Greentext Stories

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font happy