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That's a 10/10 pickup line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American BURGER KING >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'lI be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American BURGER KING >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'lI be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #

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Anon's revenge time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:19:39 No.67667334 >back in high school >guy bullied me for no reason >called me a f----- especially often >eventually graduate >hatred of him lessens 23 KB JPG >14 years later >see him in front of supermarket >hes homeless >hatred comes back >time for revenge >wait 9 hours looking at him begging for money >hes getting tired >he falls asleep >NOW IS THE TIME >sneak up on him >at the speed of light pull down his pants and suck his delicious c--- >get him to c-- with my special technique within 4 seconds >run away when he wakes up >hear the junkie cuck scream about grenades and raids or some s--- while im running Whos the f----- now huh?
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:19:39 No.67667334 >back in high school >guy bullied me for no reason >called me a f----- especially often >eventually graduate >hatred of him lessens 23 KB JPG >14 years later >see him in front of supermarket >hes homeless >hatred comes back >time for revenge >wait 9 hours looking at him begging for money >hes getting tired >he falls asleep >NOW IS THE TIME >sneak up on him >at the speed of light pull down his pants and suck his delicious c--- >get him to c-- with my special technique within 4 seconds >run away when he wakes up >hear the junkie cuck scream about grenades and raids or some s--- while im running Whos the f----- now huh?

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Anon start their day off right | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets an Irish woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)14:21:50 No.842792682 >be me >21 >Dutch exchange student in Edinburgh >make Scottish friends at uni >one of them is from Glasgow >go to Glasgow with him for a weekend 78 KB JPG >went to a bar >stereotypical 'rough' Glasgow bar >order a drink >bartender has the usual cute Scottish accent >look at her >most beautiful woman l've ever seen >pale white skin >blonde >blue eyes >great boobs >try to flirt her >l'm awful with women >she actually thinks I'm cute >somehow end the night s--------, but in her bed >eat breakfast the next day together >we hit it off even more >she's 36 and divorced >visit Glasgow every weekend to see her >Scotland goes in lockdown again after a while >she proposes that I stay with her >spend all day and night together >fall in love with her >was supposed to go back home today >flight cancelled because of virus mutation >went back to her house >she told me she loves me and I cannot leave her ever again Gonna stay here until at least the summer, but for the first time in my life l'm with someone who I'm imghappy with. F------ love Scotland
: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)14:21:50 No.842792682 >be me >21 >Dutch exchange student in Edinburgh >make Scottish friends at uni >one of them is from Glasgow >go to Glasgow with him for a weekend 78 KB JPG >went to a bar >stereotypical 'rough' Glasgow bar >order a drink >bartender has the usual cute Scottish accent >look at her >most beautiful woman l've ever seen >pale white skin >blonde >blue eyes >great boobs >try to flirt her >l'm awful with women >she actually thinks I'm cute >somehow end the night s--------, but in her bed >eat breakfast the next day together >we hit it off even more >she's 36 and divorced >visit Glasgow every weekend to see her >Scotland goes in lockdown again after a while >she proposes that I stay with her >spend all day and night together >fall in love with her >was supposed to go back home today >flight cancelled because of virus mutation >went back to her house >she told me she loves me and I cannot leave her ever again Gonna stay here until at least the summer, but for the first time in my life l'm with someone who I'm imghappy with. F------ love Scotland

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Anon gets a good nights sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no
: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Anon teams the beasts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:38:56 No.873898797 >be Canadian, live in Yukon >wolves are an occasional worry, but usually avoid people >some are brave enough to get close to us, but there's never any contact 99 KB JPG >be 13 >sitting on school steps one day >just after school, enjoying a poptart >big white dog comes up to me >without even thinking, I give the dog some pats on the back >look up, it's not a dog >this wolf is looking at me with the most offended look I've seen on a canine >take my hand back >he looks at me for a few seconds like he's about to call HR for inappropriate touching >teacher comes out and starts screaming bloody murder to get away from it >throw poptart as distraction and retreat >wolf casually takes poptart and leaves >mfw I realize l've just recreated how dogs were first domesticated 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:44:41 No.873898979 Are you ready to see yourself at r/greentext
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:38:56 No.873898797 >be Canadian, live in Yukon >wolves are an occasional worry, but usually avoid people >some are brave enough to get close to us, but there's never any contact 99 KB JPG >be 13 >sitting on school steps one day >just after school, enjoying a poptart >big white dog comes up to me >without even thinking, I give the dog some pats on the back >look up, it's not a dog >this wolf is looking at me with the most offended look I've seen on a canine >take my hand back >he looks at me for a few seconds like he's about to call HR for inappropriate touching >teacher comes out and starts screaming bloody murder to get away from it >throw poptart as distraction and retreat >wolf casually takes poptart and leaves >mfw I realize l've just recreated how dogs were first domesticated 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)06:44:41 No.873898979 Are you ready to see yourself at r/greentext

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Anon sacrifices his dignity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)10:38:54 No.44540287 > be middle school loner with no friends > close to summer holidays > all students were told to read the book > having nothing better to do, read 45 KB JPG it > because school is inviting the obscure author of the book > he was the guest speaker during assembly > principal asks the school about what we thought of his book and questions about it > quiet, awkward silence > people were muttering nobody read it > felt bad for the author > told the author I enjoyed it and answered the questions > one question after another, only I answered > author was happy that I knew about the details > school staff felt less embarassed > after assembly classmates started to make fun of me > called kiss ass and book worm etc. > got the nickname ass-worm for the rest of the middle school mfw made an obscure author proud of his work in exchange of my dignity in middle school
: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)10:38:54 No.44540287 > be middle school loner with no friends > close to summer holidays > all students were told to read the book > having nothing better to do, read 45 KB JPG it > because school is inviting the obscure author of the book > he was the guest speaker during assembly > principal asks the school about what we thought of his book and questions about it > quiet, awkward silence > people were muttering nobody read it > felt bad for the author > told the author I enjoyed it and answered the questions > one question after another, only I answered > author was happy that I knew about the details > school staff felt less embarassed > after assembly classmates started to make fun of me > called kiss ass and book worm etc. > got the nickname ass-worm for the rest of the middle school mfw made an obscure author proud of his work in exchange of my dignity in middle school

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Robot contemplates his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)07:55:08 No.67671721 [Reply] >Too unhappy with life to enjoy it >Too comfortable with life to change it Anyone else stuck here?
Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)07:55:08 No.67671721 [Reply] >Too unhappy with life to enjoy it >Too comfortable with life to change it Anyone else stuck here?

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Anon wakes up his puppy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.ESOM.-O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)09:00:31 No.784213670 >be me >watching stupid videos on youtube >accidentally wake up pupper >pupper is not mad, just wants pats >goes back to sleep while getting A.W.ESOM.-O 11 KB JPG pats I love my dog /b/. Why can't people be more like dogs

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Anon Is a Conspirator | /r/Greentext

1080 2160 5040 7920 3960 Credit: John Michell Dimensions in Miles Moon_Earth_Squaring.jpg 35 KB JPG >muh coincidence : Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)16:11:27 No.13715811 >draw triangles and squares >make implication >baited ????????????????<
1080 2160 5040 7920 3960 Credit: John Michell Dimensions in Miles Moon_Earth_Squaring.jpg 35 KB JPG >muh coincidence : Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)16:11:27 No.13715811 >draw triangles and squares >make implication >baited ????????????????<

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Anon looks in a mirror | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:47:57 No.873864325 fat f--- pepe 7 KB JPG >>873864452 # : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:50:13 No.873864452 >>873864325 # it's like looking in a mirror
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:47:57 No.873864325 fat f--- pepe 7 KB JPG >>873864452 # : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)16:50:13 No.873864452 >>873864325 # it's like looking in a mirror

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Anon wants to move to Ukraine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ukraine in the membrane 02/13/20(Thu)08:49:36 No.9548693 Give me 1 reason not to move to Ukraine, when they have >10/10 white slim qt virgin women everywhere >no N------ or b------ >traditional values (no feminism) 99 KB JPG >Dirt cheap country/weak currency >No coronavirus : That depressed Pole. 02/13/20(Thu)08:56:27 No.9548694 >>9548693 (OP) # Ukrainians seem kinda dirty.
: Anonymous Ukraine in the membrane 02/13/20(Thu)08:49:36 No.9548693 Give me 1 reason not to move to Ukraine, when they have >10/10 white slim qt virgin women everywhere >no N------ or b------ >traditional values (no feminism) 99 KB JPG >Dirt cheap country/weak currency >No coronavirus : That depressed Pole. 02/13/20(Thu)08:56:27 No.9548694 >>9548693 (OP) # Ukrainians seem kinda dirty.

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Anon changes it up. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)14:35:54 No.67667472 > be me > yuropean > decide to move to Canada > go to a&w > people overdosing on fentanyl in the store > ask for a coffee > waitress grabs a 3 liters cup 67 KB PNG > immediatly adds 3 scoops of sugar > "would you like some milk or pepsi in your drink" > say I'm fine > she looks confused > "Ok that'll be $1 + $75 taxes" > pay by card > bank charges me 32$ more because why the f--- not? II > "Have a very LGBTQIA+ day" > leave > decide to go to drug dispensary > ask for medicinal crack > "ok l'll just need to check that you had your 6 pfizer doses" > wait in line > people overdosing on fentanyl everywhere > bump into the PM > he asks me if I want to f--- his wife > whynot.jpg > start talking dirty to her > officer shoot me down for not using the right pronons > excuses himself > wake up in hospital > $1.5 million bill Am I living the American dream anons?
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)14:35:54 No.67667472 > be me > yuropean > decide to move to Canada > go to a&w > people overdosing on fentanyl in the store > ask for a coffee > waitress grabs a 3 liters cup 67 KB PNG > immediatly adds 3 scoops of sugar > "would you like some milk or pepsi in your drink" > say I'm fine > she looks confused > "Ok that'll be $1 + $75 taxes" > pay by card > bank charges me 32$ more because why the f--- not? II > "Have a very LGBTQIA+ day" > leave > decide to go to drug dispensary > ask for medicinal crack > "ok l'll just need to check that you had your 6 pfizer doses" > wait in line > people overdosing on fentanyl everywhere > bump into the PM > he asks me if I want to f--- his wife > whynot.jpg > start talking dirty to her > officer shoot me down for not using the right pronons > excuses himself > wake up in hospital > $1.5 million bill Am I living the American dream anons?

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anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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anon met his ex's sister | /r/Greentext


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Anon is slightly humble. | /r/Greentext

File: gx8yzpwb6zq11.png (530 KB, 610x444) Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:49:07 No.873869852 >Be me, reclusive sperg >Consider myself nothing special, and take literally zero pride in anything >Try my best to be supportive understate my own abilities most of the time so people find me more approachable >Have GF of 3 years finally move in >Shes a casual gamer, while im more on the competitive side >She took some interest in Super Smash Bros Ultimate lately, and I was very happy I could finally smash with someone around >Try my best to go easy yon her, and show her the essentials >Let her beat me 2/3 of the time, so she doesn't quit, since she has a low frustration tolerance >Weeks pass, and she invites her friends over >We sit together and talk about this and that >"So, I heard Anonette is beating your ass in SSBU" >Im a bit irritated, but go with it "sure she is really good, I just showed her the game a short time ago." >She laughs almost hysterically >"So you were playing longer, and she is still better? Noob." >I brush it off, banter is no problem after all. >Days pass, and the SSBU thing becomes a running gag, and everyone brings it up whenever possible. >"Hey anon, did your wife smash you again?" >"Oh look, its the living punchingbag" >Start to feel uneasy, since it has a very nasty tone to it. >Ask my GF to cut it, and tell them to stop. >"LMAO, git gud noob." >enough.exe >Decide to show her. >Next time her friends are over, I ask for a round of smash: >Giggles and s--- "Sure you wanna do this? Don't cry later." >Deliberately pick jigglypuff, she can't play and considers trash >It's everyone against everyone. set stock to 5 >5/0 her in under 3 minutes, while leaving her friends alone >She looks puzzled >Her friends tell me to stop avoiding their every move >5/0 both of them as well >Ask if they want to go again. >They agree >I notice how they all try to gang up on me >to their demise, i picked Ganondorf >finish the whole match without losing a single stock again, having 15 KO's >GF doesn't play SSBU anymore.
File: gx8yzpwb6zq11.png (530 KB, 610x444) Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)00:49:07 No.873869852 >Be me, reclusive sperg >Consider myself nothing special, and take literally zero pride in anything >Try my best to be supportive understate my own abilities most of the time so people find me more approachable >Have GF of 3 years finally move in >Shes a casual gamer, while im more on the competitive side >She took some interest in Super Smash Bros Ultimate lately, and I was very happy I could finally smash with someone around >Try my best to go easy yon her, and show her the essentials >Let her beat me 2/3 of the time, so she doesn't quit, since she has a low frustration tolerance >Weeks pass, and she invites her friends over >We sit together and talk about this and that >"So, I heard Anonette is beating your ass in SSBU" >Im a bit irritated, but go with it "sure she is really good, I just showed her the game a short time ago." >She laughs almost hysterically >"So you were playing longer, and she is still better? Noob." >I brush it off, banter is no problem after all. >Days pass, and the SSBU thing becomes a running gag, and everyone brings it up whenever possible. >"Hey anon, did your wife smash you again?" >"Oh look, its the living punchingbag" >Start to feel uneasy, since it has a very nasty tone to it. >Ask my GF to cut it, and tell them to stop. >"LMAO, git gud noob." >enough.exe >Decide to show her. >Next time her friends are over, I ask for a round of smash: >Giggles and s--- "Sure you wanna do this? Don't cry later." >Deliberately pick jigglypuff, she can't play and considers trash >It's everyone against everyone. set stock to 5 >5/0 her in under 3 minutes, while leaving her friends alone >She looks puzzled >Her friends tell me to stop avoiding their every move >5/0 both of them as well >Ask if they want to go again. >They agree >I notice how they all try to gang up on me >to their demise, i picked Ganondorf >finish the whole match without losing a single stock again, having 15 KO's >GF doesn't play SSBU anymore.

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Anon is swedish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG
Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG

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Anon’s dad likes tiktok. | /r/Greentext


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Anon does not like muscle girls. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)14:54:36 No.2114375 500 bucks says every single one of these "muscle girls" has been viciously r---- at least once in their life - but instead of seeking therapy, went the complete opposite direction and obsessively took to weightlifting (and most likely steroids) in an hilarious and vain proclamation that, "no man shall EVER r--- me, AGAIN!!!" >>2114379 # : Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)15:07:01 No.2114379 >>2114375 # Found the incel
: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)14:54:36 No.2114375 500 bucks says every single one of these "muscle girls" has been viciously r---- at least once in their life - but instead of seeking therapy, went the complete opposite direction and obsessively took to weightlifting (and most likely steroids) in an hilarious and vain proclamation that, "no man shall EVER r--- me, AGAIN!!!" >>2114379 # : Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)15:07:01 No.2114379 >>2114375 # Found the incel

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Anon plans his revenge | /r/Greentext

49m (3/5 13:44) · 67666940 13 Re · 2 Img · JPG · 42KB · (736 × 785) 1 Reply >woman cuts me off >her d------- daughter is sticking her tongue out at me from the passenger window >follow them home I do this every time a woman pisses me off in traffic and mark each one of their addresses in google maps for when i finally snap. I make it very obvious that I'm following them and hope it makes them uncomfortable. Anyone else do this? •..
49m (3/5 13:44) · 67666940 13 Re · 2 Img · JPG · 42KB · (736 × 785) 1 Reply >woman cuts me off >her d------- daughter is sticking her tongue out at me from the passenger window >follow them home I do this every time a woman pisses me off in traffic and mark each one of their addresses in google maps for when i finally snap. I make it very obvious that I'm following them and hope it makes them uncomfortable. Anyone else do this? •..

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