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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)18:51:12 No.873933899 >be me >retarded >have a friend who lost function of his legs temporarily >doctors say it was a miracle that he even gained feeling back >having a get together with his 112 KB JPG friends and family >starts talking about physical therapy > says something like “Yeah, lost control of the car but I'm getting feeling back and I'm starting to drive again. Pretty soon l'll be able to drive all the time" >autism activates "Baby steps man" >his family is horrified >hear someone gasp in shock >think I heard someone snicker My life is f------ ruined

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Anon gets cucked. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG
Anonymous I've been cucked 03/07/22(Mon)03:38:32 No.67685849 >be femanon >have 6/10 bf >he's really nice and thougtful so it's solid 7/10 >sex.exe regularly >sometime he wants me to put this on, pic related >don't think much about it, maybe just 125 KB JPG what he likes >until one day he murmured "Rose" while sleeping after sex.exe >w-- is he cheating me? >ask him directly who is Rose? he admits it's a 2D character I wear her costume all the time tfw I've been cucked by a 12 years old who doesn't exist. maybe he thinks about her all the times we have sex not me. Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)03:41:46 No.67685872 >>67685849 (OP) Her name is ROSA you uneducated swine 368 KB PNG

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/r9k/ gives excellent advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death
: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:18:27 No.67683488 >be 11 >store all my legos in the closet in a room that no one uses >one day sister's friend come over >she finds the legos i've built and collected 65 KB PNG >destroys all of them >find out about it after she leaves >fall into a great depression >quit legos because of it that bitch.. : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)12:22:19 No.67683531 >>67683488 (OP) # You should find her and stalk her 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)14:05:38 No.67684606 >>67683488 (OP) # Build a Lego hammer and beat her to death

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Anon gets the cops called on him | /r/Greentext


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Saving yourself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no 62 KB JPG >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...
: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no 62 KB JPG >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...

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Anon don't trust science | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

File: MV5BZjhkNWM1NTQtODI4NSOON(...).jpg (125 KB, 1000x1355) Y U Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)20:47:36 >be me KEVIN COSTNER YELLOWSTONE >grew up in AZ but moved to Cali >live in the city in California for 12 years >life always feels chaotic >always so many people >so much crime >so much traffic >just too much >diagnosed with general anxiety disorder >never want to be outside >start having panic attacks >stressed at work >can't enjoy my days off >can't sleep >pandemic hits >start watching yellowstone >the shows a bit chaotic but wyoming looks so quiet and peaceful >look into living there >end up in talks with a realtor >buy a home in Lander >take everything I have and move >it's everything I thought it would be >quiet, peaceful, open >my home was only 235k with 2 acres >no n------ >very little crime >everyone is respectful of others >no traffic ever >just peace >anxiety goes away >no panic attacks >little stress >nature all around me I f------ love Wyoming. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)21:17:14 No.873946041 >>873946140 >>873944902 (OP). yellowstone is set in montana
File: MV5BZjhkNWM1NTQtODI4NSOON(...).jpg (125 KB, 1000x1355) Y U Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)20:47:36 >be me KEVIN COSTNER YELLOWSTONE >grew up in AZ but moved to Cali >live in the city in California for 12 years >life always feels chaotic >always so many people >so much crime >so much traffic >just too much >diagnosed with general anxiety disorder >never want to be outside >start having panic attacks >stressed at work >can't enjoy my days off >can't sleep >pandemic hits >start watching yellowstone >the shows a bit chaotic but wyoming looks so quiet and peaceful >look into living there >end up in talks with a realtor >buy a home in Lander >take everything I have and move >it's everything I thought it would be >quiet, peaceful, open >my home was only 235k with 2 acres >no n------ >very little crime >everyone is respectful of others >no traffic ever >just peace >anxiety goes away >no panic attacks >little stress >nature all around me I f------ love Wyoming. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)21:17:14 No.873946041 >>873946140 >>873944902 (OP). yellowstone is set in montana

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Anon finds religion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GLIX3@1U 03/06/22(Sun)14:48:27 No.365589732 1630612727852.jpg 36 KB JPG >tired of being an incel >remember some stuff I heard here about "going to the church and meeting girls" >well I'm catholic so why not >start going to the church every weekend >majority are old people but there're some girls in their 20s >always trying to sit beside one of them >sometimes start conversations with them and their mothers >"w--, they're not disgusted by me and their mother actually thinks I'm a good guy" >fast-forward some weeks >got hooked up with a 21 yo by her own mother You guys need to go to the church. I literally cannot believe this happened to me.
: Anonymous (ID: GLIX3@1U 03/06/22(Sun)14:48:27 No.365589732 1630612727852.jpg 36 KB JPG >tired of being an incel >remember some stuff I heard here about "going to the church and meeting girls" >well I'm catholic so why not >start going to the church every weekend >majority are old people but there're some girls in their 20s >always trying to sit beside one of them >sometimes start conversations with them and their mothers >"w--, they're not disgusted by me and their mother actually thinks I'm a good guy" >fast-forward some weeks >got hooked up with a 21 yo by her own mother You guys need to go to the church. I literally cannot believe this happened to me.

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Anon is bored as fuck | /r/Greentext

Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...
Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KİB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up ...

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Anon gets called a misogynist by w*men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.

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no hit run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:10:10 No.164465570 3E212BEA-9441-472B-8302-9CE08F871803.jpg 35 KB JPG I'm literally going to die in a nuclear war before I even kiss a girl : Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:18:05 No.164465796 If you think that's bad, you're going to finish this run and your soul will have the virgin achievement unlocked and on full display in the afterlife.
: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:10:10 No.164465570 3E212BEA-9441-472B-8302-9CE08F871803.jpg 35 KB JPG I'm literally going to die in a nuclear war before I even kiss a girl : Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)20:18:05 No.164465796 If you think that's bad, you're going to finish this run and your soul will have the virgin achievement unlocked and on full display in the afterlife.

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: OE7ZCYCW) 03/06/22(Sun)07:28:14 No.365472195 if Putin were to nuke 3 states in the continental US, which one would you choose? I'll choose 1. California 2. California 3. California 634 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: OE7ZCYCW) 03/06/22(Sun)07:28:14 No.365472195 if Putin were to nuke 3 states in the continental US, which one would you choose? I'll choose 1. California 2. California 3. California 634 KB PNG

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Anon talks about Geography | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous 109/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate 50 KB JPG

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Anon is a fan of Margaret Thatcher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)16:21:04 No.67673311 >was having sex with gf >almost came >"s--- must hold down the c--, quick, think about something ugly" >started thinking about Margaret Thatcher 89 KB JPG >"ohh Margaret you are amazing" >"wat" >"wat" I f----- up real bad robot, I called the wrong name now she blocked me. How do I fix this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:34:19 No.67673800 you f------ cucked her what did you expect : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:39:07 No.67673829 >>67673311 (OP) # Could've been worse, at least you didn't say Boris. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:40:36 No.67673841 >>67673311(OP) # call her margy instead
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)16:21:04 No.67673311 >was having sex with gf >almost came >"s--- must hold down the c--, quick, think about something ugly" >started thinking about Margaret Thatcher 89 KB JPG >"ohh Margaret you are amazing" >"wat" >"wat" I f----- up real bad robot, I called the wrong name now she blocked me. How do I fix this? 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:34:19 No.67673800 you f------ cucked her what did you expect : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:39:07 No.67673829 >>67673311 (OP) # Could've been worse, at least you didn't say Boris. 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)17:40:36 No.67673841 >>67673311(OP) # call her margy instead

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anon likes the KKK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:36:04 No.873918018 > be me > 14 > bullied in school because I hit puberty late and have social skills of an autist > only thing in the world I like is Pokemon. 5 KB JPG > have Pokémon collection including holographic of all OG 150 > bring to school for show and tell > kids laugh at me and steal them during lunch. > Black kid named Calvin starts throwing them around making it "rain". > after school walking home. > Calvin and his friends start chasing me >I run as fast, dropping my backpack until I taste blood in my throat. > legit thought I was going to die > "what's going on here" > group of middle aged white dudes barbecuing on front porch. > "the f--- you n------ doing chasing this kid" > Calvin doesn't come to school the next day. One of his friends comes with cast on his arm. > mfw my life is literally saved by the KKK.
: Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)12:36:04 No.873918018 > be me > 14 > bullied in school because I hit puberty late and have social skills of an autist > only thing in the world I like is Pokemon. 5 KB JPG > have Pokémon collection including holographic of all OG 150 > bring to school for show and tell > kids laugh at me and steal them during lunch. > Black kid named Calvin starts throwing them around making it "rain". > after school walking home. > Calvin and his friends start chasing me >I run as fast, dropping my backpack until I taste blood in my throat. > legit thought I was going to die > "what's going on here" > group of middle aged white dudes barbecuing on front porch. > "the f--- you n------ doing chasing this kid" > Calvin doesn't come to school the next day. One of his friends comes with cast on his arm. > mfw my life is literally saved by the KKK.

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Anon on the job market. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme
Anonymous boomers live in an alternate r(...) 03/06/22(Sun)14:18:18 No.67677766 boomers: >"THERE'S A HUGE LABOR SHORTAGE, 6 MILLION JOBS OPENED UP, THEY'LL HIRE ANYONE WITHOUT EXPEIRENCE AND PAY 6 FIGURES STARTING" 166 KB JPG reality: >apply to 500 jobs >get 1 call back >it's a pyramid scheme

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Anon is a coomer. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:03:36 No.67677070 I j------- around 15 times a day and still have energy to keep going. If i had a girlfriend I'd be trying to f--- her all day on the weekends, but I've heard some women only f--- a couple times a day max, and the average girls doesn't even like f------ daily, so I doubt l'll ever stop watching p---, l'd need a girl who would be down to f--- multiple times a day 7 days 327 KB JPG a week. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:07:16 No.67677103 >>67677070 (OP) You have enough time in your day to j------- fully 15 times? Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:09:28 No.67677124 >>67677103 Even considering that your faps only take 10 minutes and you have a 10 minute refractory period on average, that means you spend a full 5 hours out of your waking hours masturbating. If you've spent 10 years with this schedule, you've spent 18250 hours fapping.
Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:03:36 No.67677070 I j------- around 15 times a day and still have energy to keep going. If i had a girlfriend I'd be trying to f--- her all day on the weekends, but I've heard some women only f--- a couple times a day max, and the average girls doesn't even like f------ daily, so I doubt l'll ever stop watching p---, l'd need a girl who would be down to f--- multiple times a day 7 days 327 KB JPG a week. Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:07:16 No.67677103 >>67677070 (OP) You have enough time in your day to j------- fully 15 times? Anonymous 03/06/22(Sun)13:09:28 No.67677124 >>67677103 Even considering that your faps only take 10 minutes and you have a 10 minute refractory period on average, that means you spend a full 5 hours out of your waking hours masturbating. If you've spent 10 years with this schedule, you've spent 18250 hours fapping.

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Anon takes a shower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago ••• >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >Im washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor
Anonymous | 787170054 36 min. ago ••• >be me 15 >Parents don't give a f--- about me, I have nothing to do, soI spend most of my time bumming around with other loser friends >One day at skate park, piss off some older dudes, my friends bail on me and I get jumped >They take my wallet and snap my board >l'm walking home head hung low, ripped shirt broken board 83.3 kB JPG >Friends qt older sister is driving by and sees me >Pulls over >"OMG anon what happened" Tell her, she invited me over to get cleaned up >We get there, she whipes blood off my face, starts telling me how mad she is that those assholes did what they did to me >Starts to massage me >Boner activated >Hey anon why dont you take a shower and clean up your scrapes >l agree, she brings me to the bathroom, starts undressing me, her hand brushes on my boner >Giggles, "ooh anon, a little excited are we?" >Tells me to get in the shower, tells me she'll be right back >Im washing off, see the door start to crack open >See eye peering in at me >Feeling bold, "why dont you come join me you little slut" >Voice booms "don't mind if I do!" >Her dad runs in and f---- the s--- out of my ass and then leaves me broken on the shower floor

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Anon gives random kid a fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #
: Anonymous 04/23/18(Mon)07:07:10 No.100049780 >be girl >middle school, early 2000s >walking to class >see some short kid getting Ishoved into the locker >tiny little hispanic kid and his two goons are harrassing this kid for lunch money >is this real life >take the little hispanic kid and put him in a chicken hold >tell him if he touches this kid again l'll beat his face into the locker so hard his parents wont be able to recognize him >he calls his goons off, runs away >short kid follows me around for the rest of the school year, carrying my books and taking care of my tamogotchi and letting me use his head as an armrest a couple years ago I looked him up on facebook and found he publicly joined a "muscle girl appreciation" group. >>100049844 # >>100049852 # >>100049860 # >>100050028 #

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Windows is based | /r/Greentext

2h · 53075044 3 Replies 6 Re 1 Img JPG 30KB (660 x 574) >Windows randomly installs "Photos add-on" app to my computer >starts making "albums" out of my p--- and emailing it to people I just want to be left alone
2h · 53075044 3 Replies 6 Re 1 Img JPG 30KB (660 x 574) >Windows randomly installs "Photos add-on" app to my computer >starts making "albums" out of my p--- and emailing it to people I just want to be left alone

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