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Anon doesn’t care | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: W5LVJQ2V ) 0 Someone please explain to me 05/16/21(Sun)13:00:47 No.321859706 The Palestine X Israel conflict like im 5yo 188 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: GYo2t5u1) 05/16/21(Sun)13:02:06 No.321859883 1601717005308.gif 24 KB GIF >>321859706 (OP) # not your problem >>321861165 # >>321864751 # >>321868464 # >>321871645 # >>321872382 # >>321873368 # >>321874044 # >>321874045 # >>321876078 # >>321881125 # >>321887329 # >>321890085 # >>321891701 #
: Anonymous (ID: W5LVJQ2V ) 0 Someone please explain to me 05/16/21(Sun)13:00:47 No.321859706 The Palestine X Israel conflict like im 5yo 188 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: GYo2t5u1) 05/16/21(Sun)13:02:06 No.321859883 1601717005308.gif 24 KB GIF >>321859706 (OP) # not your problem >>321861165 # >>321864751 # >>321868464 # >>321871645 # >>321872382 # >>321873368 # >>321874044 # >>321874045 # >>321876078 # >>321881125 # >>321887329 # >>321890085 # >>321891701 #

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anon is a wholesome demon | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, 12 KB JPG as I did that deliberately My devilish nature cannot be contained
>Be me >Working at Burger King >l add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, 12 KB JPG as I did that deliberately My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Customer service | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)09:37:50 No.67688166 >be me, 21 m, have no gf cuz that's p---- s--- >have a hot goth f best friend, same age, buy nudes from her on a semi frequent base >get horny one day, go to buy her something >"heeeeeey how are ya" 72 KB JPG >doesn't repond, must be busy >doesn't matter, i'll just find something else to chat >5 hours later >"hi anon, i'm fine how are you" >mfw facing the consequences of my own actions >how do I respond, I don't want nudes anymore >"just wanted to say i love you, thank your for being here for me !!" >"omg i love you too, thanks a lot, I had a bad day but now it's better !" Remember to always tell your homies you love them. Especially the hot ones.
: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)09:37:50 No.67688166 >be me, 21 m, have no gf cuz that's p---- s--- >have a hot goth f best friend, same age, buy nudes from her on a semi frequent base >get horny one day, go to buy her something >"heeeeeey how are ya" 72 KB JPG >doesn't repond, must be busy >doesn't matter, i'll just find something else to chat >5 hours later >"hi anon, i'm fine how are you" >mfw facing the consequences of my own actions >how do I respond, I don't want nudes anymore >"just wanted to say i love you, thank your for being here for me !!" >"omg i love you too, thanks a lot, I had a bad day but now it's better !" Remember to always tell your homies you love them. Especially the hot ones.

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Anon got a fan | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves toy story | /r/Greentext

File : 1277701026.jpg-(97 KB, 540x800, 1277700841402.jpg) O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:57:06 No.245158XXX So did you all buy your Jessie toy, masturbate and c-- on her face, then leave the room while you imagine all your other toys trying to console her while she cries, knowing she can't get the c-- off her face because it would cause suspicion? O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:10 No.245159XXX lol O Anonymous O6/28/10(Mon)00:58:26 No.245159XXX WHAT JUNE 18 O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:33 No.245159XXX Yes O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:57 No.245159XXX If this were facebook I would like this O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:05 No.245159XX I did it to buzz too O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:27 No.245159XXX oh my f------ god sir, good point you've made
File : 1277701026.jpg-(97 KB, 540x800, 1277700841402.jpg) O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:57:06 No.245158XXX So did you all buy your Jessie toy, masturbate and c-- on her face, then leave the room while you imagine all your other toys trying to console her while she cries, knowing she can't get the c-- off her face because it would cause suspicion? O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:10 No.245159XXX lol O Anonymous O6/28/10(Mon)00:58:26 No.245159XXX WHAT JUNE 18 O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:33 No.245159XXX Yes O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:58:57 No.245159XXX If this were facebook I would like this O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:05 No.245159XX I did it to buzz too O Anonymous 06/28/10(Mon)00:59:27 No.245159XXX oh my f------ god sir, good point you've made

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Anon is a frat guard | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: 51QFOZOC) 05/02/13(Thu)13:42:29 No.477229176 >>477228380 I got one >Be freshman in college >first time smoking weed >already trashed on whiskey >twist hard >wonder down to a frat house >post up outside and pretend to be security >brothers let me and eventually leave >asking people for IDs for about an hour >whole time drinking hard liquor >2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in >ask them for IDs >"We are the f------ cops, we are going to come in." >I say "riddle me this..." then proceed to puke on one of them. >They stagger back in shock >Ohfuck > run my drunk ass back to my dorm >Shave my head and beard >see cops every day patrolling the campus >never recognize me I regret nothing
O Anonymous (ID: 51QFOZOC) 05/02/13(Thu)13:42:29 No.477229176 >>477228380 I got one >Be freshman in college >first time smoking weed >already trashed on whiskey >twist hard >wonder down to a frat house >post up outside and pretend to be security >brothers let me and eventually leave >asking people for IDs for about an hour >whole time drinking hard liquor >2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in >ask them for IDs >"We are the f------ cops, we are going to come in." >I say "riddle me this..." then proceed to puke on one of them. >They stagger back in shock >Ohfuck > run my drunk ass back to my dorm >Shave my head and beard >see cops every day patrolling the campus >never recognize me I regret nothing

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Anon is black. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)13:05:25 No.67689686 >Be black >Be on phone with bank to try to get first ever overdraft fee taken off >Have best white voice on >Going well, looks like it's going to go through >Asked why I overdrafted in the first place (charge hit before new job's first 303 KB JPG paycheck) >"Well, what had happened was-" >F--- >Pause on other end >"It looks like it went through, but please be advised that we may not be able to do this for you in the future." >"Th-thanks" That was a close one.
Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)13:05:25 No.67689686 >Be black >Be on phone with bank to try to get first ever overdraft fee taken off >Have best white voice on >Going well, looks like it's going to go through >Asked why I overdrafted in the first place (charge hit before new job's first 303 KB JPG paycheck) >"Well, what had happened was-" >F--- >Pause on other end >"It looks like it went through, but please be advised that we may not be able to do this for you in the future." >"Th-thanks" That was a close one.

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Anon goes to Mexico | /r/Greentext

1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place
1. #766898005 4/25/18, 8:11 PM >be me, in mexico to visit friends >not my first rodeo, pickpockets beware >cut hole in pocket, slip d--- in hole >take public transport, wait for my mark >there he is, punk w/ sticky fingers >make myself an easy mark, not too obvious >few minutes later, kid tries to lift wallet, touches penis >he knows it, i know it >my face as he looks at me with disqust and he gets off the next step Mexico is a great place

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Anon uses Linux | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/16(Wed)22:53:29 No.56933906 >using linux in front of class mates >teacher says "Ok students, now open photoshop" >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine 88 KB JPG >Errors out the ass >Everyone else has already started their classwork >I start to sweat >Install GIMP >"Umm...what the f--- is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks >l tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE! >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says >1 f------ break down and cry and run out of the class >I get beat up in the parking lot after school
: Anonymous 10/05/16(Wed)22:53:29 No.56933906 >using linux in front of class mates >teacher says "Ok students, now open photoshop" >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine 88 KB JPG >Errors out the ass >Everyone else has already started their classwork >I start to sweat >Install GIMP >"Umm...what the f--- is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks >l tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE! >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says >1 f------ break down and cry and run out of the class >I get beat up in the parking lot after school

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a creep... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since
: Anonymous 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for SIDES CRIPPLED 153 KB JPG amerifags) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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anon tries reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:49:07 No.67687782 >be me >always heard that reddit is awful >curious if the reputation is true >go on reddit for the first time >comment on some guy's post about how his bank stole his money >"damn that sucks man, sorry to 42 KB JPG hear you got jew'd" >OP responds calling me antisemitic >call him a f----- >450 downvotes >both comments removed by moderator >perm banned from the subreddit >one week ban from reddit Forgive me, l'll never go back : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:50:43 No.67687790 redditards are sensitive little cucks : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:51:10 No.67687794 Well, what did you think was gonna happen? >>67687800 #
: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:49:07 No.67687782 >be me >always heard that reddit is awful >curious if the reputation is true >go on reddit for the first time >comment on some guy's post about how his bank stole his money >"damn that sucks man, sorry to 42 KB JPG hear you got jew'd" >OP responds calling me antisemitic >call him a f----- >450 downvotes >both comments removed by moderator >perm banned from the subreddit >one week ban from reddit Forgive me, l'll never go back : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:50:43 No.67687790 redditards are sensitive little cucks : Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)16:51:10 No.67687794 Well, what did you think was gonna happen? >>67687800 #

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Anon has a reality glitch | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 ► 2>26586317> File: pepe jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago
Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 ► 2>26586317> File: pepe jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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Anon Goes Clubbing | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous (ID: (NqDXNI66)E 03/06/22(Sun)20:48:55 No.365652530 >met 4 girls in the club with my friends >they said they are going home and that we should come >frens said that we should probably go home instead cause they were too tired >we go home >called my buddy and told him that something feels off to me 17 KB JPG >he told me that they are on their way to the girls' dorm >turns out I wasn't invited 122 Replies / 11 Images View Thread
:Anonymous (ID: (NqDXNI66)E 03/06/22(Sun)20:48:55 No.365652530 >met 4 girls in the club with my friends >they said they are going home and that we should come >frens said that we should probably go home instead cause they were too tired >we go home >called my buddy and told him that something feels off to me 17 KB JPG >he told me that they are on their way to the girls' dorm >turns out I wasn't invited 122 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon dodged an emotionally unstable bullet. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femanons explain this 08/22/19(Thu)06:32:21 No.54029533 >be me >talk to cute girl >l'm totally into her >seems like she's into me as well >ask girl out >girl says no >okie dokie, moving on >later hear from mutual friend that girl was wondering as to why I gave up so easily in trying to pursue her 1.77 MB GIF
: Anonymous Femanons explain this 08/22/19(Thu)06:32:21 No.54029533 >be me >talk to cute girl >l'm totally into her >seems like she's into me as well >ask girl out >girl says no >okie dokie, moving on >later hear from mutual friend that girl was wondering as to why I gave up so easily in trying to pursue her 1.77 MB GIF

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Anon leads a surprisingly normal life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.
: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)02:12:31 No.868008307 >be me >wake up >not obsessed with nfts >not transphobic >not a nazi >not a tankie 136 KB JPG >not obsessed with male hierarchy >don't have twitter >don't worship some mediocre pop star >don't watch annoying s-------- on youtube >life is good Just dont be a dumbass anons, it's that easy.

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Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?
: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428 >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if l'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)18:40:04 No.795899524 What sort of restaurant?

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Anon finds the love of his life | /r/Greentext

LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #
LTE 12:41 : Anonymous EE 04/15/19(Mon)02:52:23 No.104244566 My mom found my trap folder and asked if that was my thing. Sperged out and told her it's not what she thinks. Anyhow later she introduced me to a young cousin who is a trap and well now we are dating since 3 years ago. He was 15, I was 22 >>104244609 # >>104244614 # >>104244621 # >>104244643 # >>104244651 # >>104244665 # >>104244674 # >>104244691 # >>104244747 # >>104244773 # >>104244775 # >>104244880 # >>104244947 # >>104244952 # >>104244970 # >>104244985 # >>104245037 # >>104245050 # >>104245072 # >>104245100 # >>104245127 # >>104245140 # >>104245414 # >>104245486 # >>104245546 # >>104245588 # >>104245615 # >>104245664 # >>104245669 # >>104245746 # >>104246505 # >>104246513 # >>104246930 # >>104247295 # >>104247430 # >>104248475 # >>104248647 # >>104248880 # >>104248958 # >>104249345 # >>104250572 # >>104250661 # >>104251294 # >>104251538 # >>104251638 # >>104251745 # >>104252032 # >>104252052 # >>104252158 # >>104252231 # >>104252254 # >>104252305 # >>104252328 # >>104252637 # >>104252718 # >>104252935 # >>104254186 # >>104254412 # >>104254427 # >>104254462 # >>104254635 # >>104254709 # >>104254957 # >>104255327 # >>104255355 # >>104255419 # >>104255612 # >>104255613 # >>104255719 # >>104256062 # >>104256105 # >>104256125 # >>104256201 # >>104256318 # >>104256588 # >>104257052 # >>104257065 # >>104257223 # >>104258748 # >>104260194 # >>104260543 # >>104260866 # >>104261001 # : Anonymous 4 04/15/19(Mon)02:54:56 No.104244609 >>104244566 #

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Anon is the ultimate loli connoisseur. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling
: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cel| >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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