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Anon gets backfired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: COD6DKIM 09/12/21(Sun)02:05:19 No.40709968 >be felix kjellberg >be talentless, unskilled collage dropout hotdog seller >upload your stupid face to some video streaming website while playing equally stupid video 208 KB JPG games >worth tens of millions just because you were the first one to do it Only thing that matter is being early. : Anonymous (ID: ikPEZn2B 09/12/21(Sun)02:10:29 No.40710113 >>40709968 (OP) # >collage Who's the uneducated one >>40710166 # >>40710283 #
: Anonymous (ID: COD6DKIM 09/12/21(Sun)02:05:19 No.40709968 >be felix kjellberg >be talentless, unskilled collage dropout hotdog seller >upload your stupid face to some video streaming website while playing equally stupid video 208 KB JPG games >worth tens of millions just because you were the first one to do it Only thing that matter is being early. : Anonymous (ID: ikPEZn2B 09/12/21(Sun)02:10:29 No.40710113 >>40709968 (OP) # >collage Who's the uneducated one >>40710166 # >>40710283 #

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Anon should get a better job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work 11 KB JPG >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work 11 KB JPG >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking

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Anon becomes Xerox Guy | /r/Greentext

ITT: Work Success stories >get angry call from woman >says he copier has been broken for days >l've been ignoring her emails all week because minecraft on switch CAT 39 KB JPG >s---.png >tell her I called it in to xerox >f------ didn't >sneak over to her office >the plan was to impersonate the Xerox guy I told her I called because she only knows my voice not my face >as I'm walking in, some one else from her office catches me >"hey xerox guy!" >l don't lie I just say "I'm here to fix the copier" >think the things f----- and that I really will have to call it in and I'm gonna get chewed out for waiting so long >l walk behind the machine and plug it in >office becomes visibly excited >get call from lady apologizing for being harsh and blames Xerox for being late All according to plan.
ITT: Work Success stories >get angry call from woman >says he copier has been broken for days >l've been ignoring her emails all week because minecraft on switch CAT 39 KB JPG >s---.png >tell her I called it in to xerox >f------ didn't >sneak over to her office >the plan was to impersonate the Xerox guy I told her I called because she only knows my voice not my face >as I'm walking in, some one else from her office catches me >"hey xerox guy!" >l don't lie I just say "I'm here to fix the copier" >think the things f----- and that I really will have to call it in and I'm gonna get chewed out for waiting so long >l walk behind the machine and plug it in >office becomes visibly excited >get call from lady apologizing for being harsh and blames Xerox for being late All according to plan.

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Anon gets a lawyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I1 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess
Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I1 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess

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Anon likes to be mommies boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:29:37 No.874016056 >be me >going to have a drink with gf >pick her up from home >her dad says:"I'd say take care of her, but I know she's taking care of you haha" >Im not even ashamed it's true lol 11 KB JPG >one night we bumped into my bully and he greeted me by insulting me as usual and she straight out punched his throat >instantly got a boner >she doesn't even look like a lesbian, she looks extremely feminin >f--- this is so hot
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:29:37 No.874016056 >be me >going to have a drink with gf >pick her up from home >her dad says:"I'd say take care of her, but I know she's taking care of you haha" >Im not even ashamed it's true lol 11 KB JPG >one night we bumped into my bully and he greeted me by insulting me as usual and she straight out punched his throat >instantly got a boner >she doesn't even look like a lesbian, she looks extremely feminin >f--- this is so hot

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Anon gets his brother in law in a little trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/19(Fri)05:18:59 No.797726665 Story time: I had a huge crush on a girl but her brother was a p------------. He bullied me since middle 216 KB GIF school and I hated his guts, but in the last year of highshool I asked his sister out and she said yes. His brother found out and beat me like a maniac because he thought that I was only doing it to "get revenge". He found a job in some s----- warehouse andI could only visit my girlfriend when he had to work in the night shift. Her mother was cool and didn't gave a s---, she let me stay the night as long as her son didn't know. One day using my girl's PC I see that his brother used it and logged into google and saved his pass. That night whe she was sleeping I tried the same pass into his brother's PC and it worked. That's when my plan started. Every night when she was asleep, I used his brother's PC to download lolicon and CP. Some weeks later I started to tell my friends that I think he is a p---, because he said some f----- up things about legal age and that he said the girls from kick ass was really hot (He liked the movie and saw it two or three times on theaters). All lies but whatever, nobody belived me because of my obvious hate. Some months later one of his friends was hired in the same job as him and went to his house to show him some s--- about the software that they used in the job. I don't know how, but some CP showed up and his friend almost killed him. His mother stopped him and called the police. The friend told them about the CP and they arrested him. In the end he was accussed of possesion of child p----------. Mfw when he ended 6 years in prison and her sister and me are happily married and living in another country. O regrets tldr; I put my brother in law in jail >>797732790 #
: Anonymous 04/19/19(Fri)05:18:59 No.797726665 Story time: I had a huge crush on a girl but her brother was a p------------. He bullied me since middle 216 KB GIF school and I hated his guts, but in the last year of highshool I asked his sister out and she said yes. His brother found out and beat me like a maniac because he thought that I was only doing it to "get revenge". He found a job in some s----- warehouse andI could only visit my girlfriend when he had to work in the night shift. Her mother was cool and didn't gave a s---, she let me stay the night as long as her son didn't know. One day using my girl's PC I see that his brother used it and logged into google and saved his pass. That night whe she was sleeping I tried the same pass into his brother's PC and it worked. That's when my plan started. Every night when she was asleep, I used his brother's PC to download lolicon and CP. Some weeks later I started to tell my friends that I think he is a p---, because he said some f----- up things about legal age and that he said the girls from kick ass was really hot (He liked the movie and saw it two or three times on theaters). All lies but whatever, nobody belived me because of my obvious hate. Some months later one of his friends was hired in the same job as him and went to his house to show him some s--- about the software that they used in the job. I don't know how, but some CP showed up and his friend almost killed him. His mother stopped him and called the police. The friend told them about the CP and they arrested him. In the end he was accussed of possesion of child p----------. Mfw when he ended 6 years in prison and her sister and me are happily married and living in another country. O regrets tldr; I put my brother in law in jail >>797732790 #

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Anon is being watched | /r/Greentext

1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house
1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house

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Anon is becoming unhinged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)17:02:36 No.67692052 >The whole math class is throwing a party in Chad's house >Tired of being locked at as a mad loner, decided to join >"Hi, heard there is a party, can I join?" said to one of Chad's friends >"Hmmm, yeah sure, I gue-ss.." 29 KB JPG >"Thanks" >The dude I talked to started talking with other students with a quite voice >10 minuets later: "Sorry anon, Chad's mom is sick, maybe next time" >"Oh, hope she will be fine, thank you." Didn't think much of it >Spent the whole day gaming >Time to check social media >They all are having a party at Chad's house >One of the students mom asked: Is this the whole class? >Got ten replies, all of them: "YES!" >#TheWholeSquad You f------ better quit f------ with me before something really bad happens
Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)17:02:36 No.67692052 >The whole math class is throwing a party in Chad's house >Tired of being locked at as a mad loner, decided to join >"Hi, heard there is a party, can I join?" said to one of Chad's friends >"Hmmm, yeah sure, I gue-ss.." 29 KB JPG >"Thanks" >The dude I talked to started talking with other students with a quite voice >10 minuets later: "Sorry anon, Chad's mom is sick, maybe next time" >"Oh, hope she will be fine, thank you." Didn't think much of it >Spent the whole day gaming >Time to check social media >They all are having a party at Chad's house >One of the students mom asked: Is this the whole class? >Got ten replies, all of them: "YES!" >#TheWholeSquad You f------ better quit f------ with me before something really bad happens

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He's a ghost, sir. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:29:54 No.118084063 >guy's got no social media presence at allI, he's like a ghost 11 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:36:19 No.118084291 >Chief we found his high school yearbook. >Thank god, we can find who he went to prom with and question her >Sir? He, uh, didn't go to prom >>118085042 #
: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:29:54 No.118084063 >guy's got no social media presence at allI, he's like a ghost 11 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:36:19 No.118084291 >Chief we found his high school yearbook. >Thank god, we can find who he went to prom with and question her >Sir? He, uh, didn't go to prom >>118085042 #

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Anon gets baited | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe
: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe

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Bing chilling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)04:03:25 No.2195872 >in china >getting yelled at by old man >friends can't understand what he's saying >yell at him about taiwan being a separate country >friends tell me to stfu
: Anonymous 02/26/22(Sat)04:03:25 No.2195872 >in china >getting yelled at by old man >friends can't understand what he's saying >yell at him about taiwan being a separate country >friends tell me to stfu

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Anon watches Lego Ninjago | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)20:37:24 No.873978282 >gets bitten by snake, turning him evil >skin turns black as a result this is kind of suspicious isnt it? 51 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)20:37:24 No.873978282 >gets bitten by snake, turning him evil >skin turns black as a result this is kind of suspicious isnt it? 51 KB JPG

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Anon gets molested | /r/Greentext


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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/29/20(Sun)23:42:07 No.841230599 >Some stuff is just so innocent and pure that it breaks my heart knowing that it exists in such a cruel world 9 KB GIF
: Anonymous 11/29/20(Sun)23:42:07 No.841230599 >Some stuff is just so innocent and pure that it breaks my heart knowing that it exists in such a cruel world 9 KB GIF

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Average 4chan couple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)00:33:47 No.67692411 >bought some cookie-shaped dog biscuits for the puppy yesterday >bf just hit me and said "i ate your s----- cookies and they didn't have enough chocolate chips" 1.69 MB PNG
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)00:33:47 No.67692411 >bought some cookie-shaped dog biscuits for the puppy yesterday >bf just hit me and said "i ate your s----- cookies and they didn't have enough chocolate chips" 1.69 MB PNG

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Anon girlfriend loves her dog | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.19719737 22 minutes ago >have gf for 6 months >we move in together a month ago >gf brings her dog, it's like a poodle or whatever, real cute >today I got home from playing golf with my buddies (inb4 rich normie f--) >find my gf receiving oral from her dog >she just stutters out "Anon" while I turn around immediately and walk out the door >right now I'm on my phone on a McDonalds, 28 missed calls Wat do? F--- my life. 6 replies
Anonymous No.19719737 22 minutes ago >have gf for 6 months >we move in together a month ago >gf brings her dog, it's like a poodle or whatever, real cute >today I got home from playing golf with my buddies (inb4 rich normie f--) >find my gf receiving oral from her dog >she just stutters out "Anon" while I turn around immediately and walk out the door >right now I'm on my phone on a McDonalds, 28 missed calls Wat do? F--- my life. 6 replies

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Anon is Buddhist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay
: Anonymous 07/22/18(Sun)17:48:16 No.775076483 >be me >Buddhist >one with everything >idea.jpeg > If I'm one with evrything, I'm technically one with Chad >Technically have f----- millions 42 KB JPG of girls See ya later, virgins >But wait > If I'm one with everything, I'm also one with Stacey > I've technically had Chad inside me >That'sgayaf.png >Immediately give up Buddhism for atheism > mfw Buddhism is fake and gay

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Anon is done for | /r/Greentext


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Anon fucks his cousin | /r/Greentext

>Be me, 15 >Have a cousin who is 22, sexy redhead short stack >Had a massive crush on her since puberty but never got to see her since she lives halfway across the country, but she's always uploading bikini pics on Facebook >Fap to the pictures every night >One summer family goes to visit >Super nervous because I know I'm going to spend the entire week rock hard >Her older brother takes me and her out to a lakeside cabin with some of their friends and their boy/girlfriends >Adults all get piss drunk >Girls decide to have a stripping contest, since they're all coupled up and drunk as s--- >Cousin's turn comes up and l'm already hard from the show, on the verge of busting >Watch her strip, can't take my eyes off of her gorgeous body >Everyone laughs at me for being so obviously horny while my cousin is dancing naked >Eventually everyone goes to bed, couples try to f--- but are too drunk to do much >At about three in the morning I feel a tap on my shoulder >Still mad about being laughed at and feeling lonely, so I pretend to be asleep >Fumbling fingers pull my blanket down and I stay still >My pajama pants come off next >I stay frozen, hardly able to even breathe, scared as f---, eyes fly open >It's my cousin, totally nude, bedroom eyes on full blast, breath smells like alcoholic s--- >"Tyler fell asleep on me. I need someone who isn't drunk." >Straddles me >l'm still frozen, but my heart is racing and my d--- is throbbing painfully >She spits in her hand and rubs my c--- with it >Almost c-- right there >Slowly lowers herself on my d--- and moves my hands up to her t--- >Can't f------ take it >Three thrusts later I blow the hugest load of my entire life >She doesn't even seem to notice but keeps riding D--- is still sensitive and it almost hurts, but I can't even speak, throat is too dry >Minutes later I feel her p---- clench and she moans in ecstasy >Wake up next morning and she's gone from the room >She never spoke of it, not sure if she even remembers > I do
>Be me, 15 >Have a cousin who is 22, sexy redhead short stack >Had a massive crush on her since puberty but never got to see her since she lives halfway across the country, but she's always uploading bikini pics on Facebook >Fap to the pictures every night >One summer family goes to visit >Super nervous because I know I'm going to spend the entire week rock hard >Her older brother takes me and her out to a lakeside cabin with some of their friends and their boy/girlfriends >Adults all get piss drunk >Girls decide to have a stripping contest, since they're all coupled up and drunk as s--- >Cousin's turn comes up and l'm already hard from the show, on the verge of busting >Watch her strip, can't take my eyes off of her gorgeous body >Everyone laughs at me for being so obviously horny while my cousin is dancing naked >Eventually everyone goes to bed, couples try to f--- but are too drunk to do much >At about three in the morning I feel a tap on my shoulder >Still mad about being laughed at and feeling lonely, so I pretend to be asleep >Fumbling fingers pull my blanket down and I stay still >My pajama pants come off next >I stay frozen, hardly able to even breathe, scared as f---, eyes fly open >It's my cousin, totally nude, bedroom eyes on full blast, breath smells like alcoholic s--- >"Tyler fell asleep on me. I need someone who isn't drunk." >Straddles me >l'm still frozen, but my heart is racing and my d--- is throbbing painfully >She spits in her hand and rubs my c--- with it >Almost c-- right there >Slowly lowers herself on my d--- and moves my hands up to her t--- >Can't f------ take it >Three thrusts later I blow the hugest load of my entire life >She doesn't even seem to notice but keeps riding D--- is still sensitive and it almost hurts, but I can't even speak, throat is too dry >Minutes later I feel her p---- clench and she moans in ecstasy >Wake up next morning and she's gone from the room >She never spoke of it, not sure if she even remembers > I do

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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