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Anon’s sister comes out | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho 14 KB PNG >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread
| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, thought she was bi tho 14 KB PNG >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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Anon is impressed | /r/Greentext

Liked by and 229 others What a year it has been. 1 bout of chlamydia, 4 pregnancy scares,1 baby due in July, 3 breakups, 4 prank surveillance team missions, 47.5 shags, 48 pies. 100 break downs, 1000 tears, a million laughs and 5 friends for life O The laluttening/ Anonymous (ID: zINMEnD 03/08/22(Tue)15:08:21 No.365953236 35a Degeneration of saciety. O Anonymous (ID: KWszWnK7 File: 1646336210779.png (33 KB, 200x150) 03/08/22(Tue)16.07:45 No.365962400 >>365953236 (OP) >48 pies
Liked by and 229 others What a year it has been. 1 bout of chlamydia, 4 pregnancy scares,1 baby due in July, 3 breakups, 4 prank surveillance team missions, 47.5 shags, 48 pies. 100 break downs, 1000 tears, a million laughs and 5 friends for life O The laluttening/ Anonymous (ID: zINMEnD 03/08/22(Tue)15:08:21 No.365953236 35a Degeneration of saciety. O Anonymous (ID: KWszWnK7 File: 1646336210779.png (33 KB, 200x150) 03/08/22(Tue)16.07:45 No.365962400 >>365953236 (OP) >48 pies

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Anon is a hungry pig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #
: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 PEP ouPlee ttvettet IMAGO052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? : Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #

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Anon collects lighters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)07:51:26 No.63603986 >At work >Known at work as the guy who collects lighters >Coworker gives me a lighter he found >"Aw nice, thanks bro." 624 KB PNG >Opinion of that person went up in my mind >Think about it later that day >Realize l'm a 'collect x amount of y" npc >mfw
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)07:51:26 No.63603986 >At work >Known at work as the guy who collects lighters >Coworker gives me a lighter he found >"Aw nice, thanks bro." 624 KB PNG >Opinion of that person went up in my mind >Think about it later that day >Realize l'm a 'collect x amount of y" npc >mfw

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Anon has a bad dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/18(Tue)03:51:51 No.21212483 >Be around four to five years old >in my bed, trying to sleep >suddenly, I'm completely paralyzed >strange bassy music starts playing >a wicked-looking disembodied face (imagine an Aztec sun dial, but made of wood) comes out of the wall and starts yelling incoherent nonsense sprinkled with the occasional petty insult >refers to itself as "Roroledo" (spelling?) >l'm scared shitless and can barely get any sleep >this keeps happening over and over for weeks, maybe even months >keep quiet about it because I don't want my friends and family to think I'm nuts >at the time, we'd get regular check-ups from the school nurse to make sure we didn't have head lice >during one such inspection, the nurse notices that I look incredibly tired >l break my silence and start describing the aforementioned night terrors >she snaps at me, telling me to cut it out because this s--- isn't funny >turns out she's heard the exact same story from a dozen or so other kids
: Anonymous 07/31/18(Tue)03:51:51 No.21212483 >Be around four to five years old >in my bed, trying to sleep >suddenly, I'm completely paralyzed >strange bassy music starts playing >a wicked-looking disembodied face (imagine an Aztec sun dial, but made of wood) comes out of the wall and starts yelling incoherent nonsense sprinkled with the occasional petty insult >refers to itself as "Roroledo" (spelling?) >l'm scared shitless and can barely get any sleep >this keeps happening over and over for weeks, maybe even months >keep quiet about it because I don't want my friends and family to think I'm nuts >at the time, we'd get regular check-ups from the school nurse to make sure we didn't have head lice >during one such inspection, the nurse notices that I look incredibly tired >l break my silence and start describing the aforementioned night terrors >she snaps at me, telling me to cut it out because this s--- isn't funny >turns out she's heard the exact same story from a dozen or so other kids

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Anon has a field trip | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars
No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

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Most sane 4chan user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)09:55:46 No.874015281 Why do you fap to lolis? That's f------ disgusting! They are literally children, they are meant to look like children, they are drawn as children. Many of the lolicons claims not to be sexually attracted to children, but they fap to lolis. If that's the case, why are 40 KB JPG they exclusively fapping to p--- pictures of drawn children, they look like children, they act like children, everything. Why stop at lolis if you are so sure that you are not actually sexually attracted to children? Why not fap to the adult versions of anime characters if you are not sexually attracted to children. There are people out there that claim not to be attracted to actual adults in the real world, but instead they fap to anime adults. But you know what? They still admit to being sexually aroused by adults, they are fapping to anime characters that look like adults. Why should lolicon be any different from being aroused by children? Just because its anime doesnt make it any different, It fundamentally propagates the same thing, f------ a child. If you fap to lolicon, you are fapping to characters that are made to be children, and characters that ARE children, which categoracly makes you a p--------. Feel free to соре.
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)09:55:46 No.874015281 Why do you fap to lolis? That's f------ disgusting! They are literally children, they are meant to look like children, they are drawn as children. Many of the lolicons claims not to be sexually attracted to children, but they fap to lolis. If that's the case, why are 40 KB JPG they exclusively fapping to p--- pictures of drawn children, they look like children, they act like children, everything. Why stop at lolis if you are so sure that you are not actually sexually attracted to children? Why not fap to the adult versions of anime characters if you are not sexually attracted to children. There are people out there that claim not to be attracted to actual adults in the real world, but instead they fap to anime adults. But you know what? They still admit to being sexually aroused by adults, they are fapping to anime characters that look like adults. Why should lolicon be any different from being aroused by children? Just because its anime doesnt make it any different, It fundamentally propagates the same thing, f------ a child. If you fap to lolicon, you are fapping to characters that are made to be children, and characters that ARE children, which categoracly makes you a p--------. Feel free to соре.

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Anon goes to the weed store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.

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Anon met a girl on WoW. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)08:06:59 No.67699733 Has a girl ever stopped talking to you after you showed your face to them on the internet? 150 KB JPG Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)08:18:09 No.67699810 >>67699733 (OP) Multiple times. One example: >meet girl (female) on WoW >hit it off and spend a month talking on the phone every night >she wants to trade pictures >she's a qt3.14 somehow w-- >send mine >raucous laughter erupts in the background from what I assume is a friend or sister >"that's what he looks like!?" >"oh my god hahaha" >phone hangs up >next day discover l've been thrown out of guild and blocked for 'harassing a female member'
Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)08:06:59 No.67699733 Has a girl ever stopped talking to you after you showed your face to them on the internet? 150 KB JPG Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)08:18:09 No.67699810 >>67699733 (OP) Multiple times. One example: >meet girl (female) on WoW >hit it off and spend a month talking on the phone every night >she wants to trade pictures >she's a qt3.14 somehow w-- >send mine >raucous laughter erupts in the background from what I assume is a friend or sister >"that's what he looks like!?" >"oh my god hahaha" >phone hangs up >next day discover l've been thrown out of guild and blocked for 'harassing a female member'

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Anon solicits a prostitute | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)20:38:52 No.845378460 >f--- h----- >having sex doesn't immediately solve all my problems w-- bros you lied to me 238 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)20:40:30 No.845378539 >>845378460 (OP) # >he fell for it Got another one, boys
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)20:38:52 No.845378460 >f--- h----- >having sex doesn't immediately solve all my problems w-- bros you lied to me 238 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)20:40:30 No.845378539 >>845378460 (OP) # >he fell for it Got another one, boys

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Anon has a good boss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous feels good man 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite 91 KB JPG band is playing "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon gets backfired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: COD6DKIM 09/12/21(Sun)02:05:19 No.40709968 >be felix kjellberg >be talentless, unskilled collage dropout hotdog seller >upload your stupid face to some video streaming website while playing equally stupid video 208 KB JPG games >worth tens of millions just because you were the first one to do it Only thing that matter is being early. : Anonymous (ID: ikPEZn2B 09/12/21(Sun)02:10:29 No.40710113 >>40709968 (OP) # >collage Who's the uneducated one >>40710166 # >>40710283 #
: Anonymous (ID: COD6DKIM 09/12/21(Sun)02:05:19 No.40709968 >be felix kjellberg >be talentless, unskilled collage dropout hotdog seller >upload your stupid face to some video streaming website while playing equally stupid video 208 KB JPG games >worth tens of millions just because you were the first one to do it Only thing that matter is being early. : Anonymous (ID: ikPEZn2B 09/12/21(Sun)02:10:29 No.40710113 >>40709968 (OP) # >collage Who's the uneducated one >>40710166 # >>40710283 #

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Anon should get a better job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work 11 KB JPG >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)04:29:40 No.874001773 >live in Georgia (usa) >make $7.49/hr >just paid 4.52/gallon for 16 gallons >thats $72.34 to fill up my tank >that is more than an entire days work 11 KB JPG >dont tell me "get a better job" because thats besides the point >your "first world" economy is FAILING when ANY of your full time working citizens have to surrender more than a days wages just for transportation >not to mention because of inflation 10% of the money i make vanishes anyways >im not just demoralized im f------ panicking

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Anon becomes Xerox Guy | /r/Greentext

ITT: Work Success stories >get angry call from woman >says he copier has been broken for days >l've been ignoring her emails all week because minecraft on switch CAT 39 KB JPG >s---.png >tell her I called it in to xerox >f------ didn't >sneak over to her office >the plan was to impersonate the Xerox guy I told her I called because she only knows my voice not my face >as I'm walking in, some one else from her office catches me >"hey xerox guy!" >l don't lie I just say "I'm here to fix the copier" >think the things f----- and that I really will have to call it in and I'm gonna get chewed out for waiting so long >l walk behind the machine and plug it in >office becomes visibly excited >get call from lady apologizing for being harsh and blames Xerox for being late All according to plan.
ITT: Work Success stories >get angry call from woman >says he copier has been broken for days >l've been ignoring her emails all week because minecraft on switch CAT 39 KB JPG >s---.png >tell her I called it in to xerox >f------ didn't >sneak over to her office >the plan was to impersonate the Xerox guy I told her I called because she only knows my voice not my face >as I'm walking in, some one else from her office catches me >"hey xerox guy!" >l don't lie I just say "I'm here to fix the copier" >think the things f----- and that I really will have to call it in and I'm gonna get chewed out for waiting so long >l walk behind the machine and plug it in >office becomes visibly excited >get call from lady apologizing for being harsh and blames Xerox for being late All according to plan.

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Anon gets a lawyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I1 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess
Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I1 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess

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Anon likes to be mommies boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:29:37 No.874016056 >be me >going to have a drink with gf >pick her up from home >her dad says:"I'd say take care of her, but I know she's taking care of you haha" >Im not even ashamed it's true lol 11 KB JPG >one night we bumped into my bully and he greeted me by insulting me as usual and she straight out punched his throat >instantly got a boner >she doesn't even look like a lesbian, she looks extremely feminin >f--- this is so hot
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)10:29:37 No.874016056 >be me >going to have a drink with gf >pick her up from home >her dad says:"I'd say take care of her, but I know she's taking care of you haha" >Im not even ashamed it's true lol 11 KB JPG >one night we bumped into my bully and he greeted me by insulting me as usual and she straight out punched his throat >instantly got a boner >she doesn't even look like a lesbian, she looks extremely feminin >f--- this is so hot

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Anon gets his brother in law in a little trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/19(Fri)05:18:59 No.797726665 Story time: I had a huge crush on a girl but her brother was a p------------. He bullied me since middle 216 KB GIF school and I hated his guts, but in the last year of highshool I asked his sister out and she said yes. His brother found out and beat me like a maniac because he thought that I was only doing it to "get revenge". He found a job in some s----- warehouse andI could only visit my girlfriend when he had to work in the night shift. Her mother was cool and didn't gave a s---, she let me stay the night as long as her son didn't know. One day using my girl's PC I see that his brother used it and logged into google and saved his pass. That night whe she was sleeping I tried the same pass into his brother's PC and it worked. That's when my plan started. Every night when she was asleep, I used his brother's PC to download lolicon and CP. Some weeks later I started to tell my friends that I think he is a p---, because he said some f----- up things about legal age and that he said the girls from kick ass was really hot (He liked the movie and saw it two or three times on theaters). All lies but whatever, nobody belived me because of my obvious hate. Some months later one of his friends was hired in the same job as him and went to his house to show him some s--- about the software that they used in the job. I don't know how, but some CP showed up and his friend almost killed him. His mother stopped him and called the police. The friend told them about the CP and they arrested him. In the end he was accussed of possesion of child p----------. Mfw when he ended 6 years in prison and her sister and me are happily married and living in another country. O regrets tldr; I put my brother in law in jail >>797732790 #
: Anonymous 04/19/19(Fri)05:18:59 No.797726665 Story time: I had a huge crush on a girl but her brother was a p------------. He bullied me since middle 216 KB GIF school and I hated his guts, but in the last year of highshool I asked his sister out and she said yes. His brother found out and beat me like a maniac because he thought that I was only doing it to "get revenge". He found a job in some s----- warehouse andI could only visit my girlfriend when he had to work in the night shift. Her mother was cool and didn't gave a s---, she let me stay the night as long as her son didn't know. One day using my girl's PC I see that his brother used it and logged into google and saved his pass. That night whe she was sleeping I tried the same pass into his brother's PC and it worked. That's when my plan started. Every night when she was asleep, I used his brother's PC to download lolicon and CP. Some weeks later I started to tell my friends that I think he is a p---, because he said some f----- up things about legal age and that he said the girls from kick ass was really hot (He liked the movie and saw it two or three times on theaters). All lies but whatever, nobody belived me because of my obvious hate. Some months later one of his friends was hired in the same job as him and went to his house to show him some s--- about the software that they used in the job. I don't know how, but some CP showed up and his friend almost killed him. His mother stopped him and called the police. The friend told them about the CP and they arrested him. In the end he was accussed of possesion of child p----------. Mfw when he ended 6 years in prison and her sister and me are happily married and living in another country. O regrets tldr; I put my brother in law in jail >>797732790 #

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Anon is being watched | /r/Greentext

1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house
1500590969099.jpg (78 KB, 346x450) google yandex >make post criticizing google >next captcha shows street near my house

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Anon is becoming unhinged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)17:02:36 No.67692052 >The whole math class is throwing a party in Chad's house >Tired of being locked at as a mad loner, decided to join >"Hi, heard there is a party, can I join?" said to one of Chad's friends >"Hmmm, yeah sure, I gue-ss.." 29 KB JPG >"Thanks" >The dude I talked to started talking with other students with a quite voice >10 minuets later: "Sorry anon, Chad's mom is sick, maybe next time" >"Oh, hope she will be fine, thank you." Didn't think much of it >Spent the whole day gaming >Time to check social media >They all are having a party at Chad's house >One of the students mom asked: Is this the whole class? >Got ten replies, all of them: "YES!" >#TheWholeSquad You f------ better quit f------ with me before something really bad happens
Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)17:02:36 No.67692052 >The whole math class is throwing a party in Chad's house >Tired of being locked at as a mad loner, decided to join >"Hi, heard there is a party, can I join?" said to one of Chad's friends >"Hmmm, yeah sure, I gue-ss.." 29 KB JPG >"Thanks" >The dude I talked to started talking with other students with a quite voice >10 minuets later: "Sorry anon, Chad's mom is sick, maybe next time" >"Oh, hope she will be fine, thank you." Didn't think much of it >Spent the whole day gaming >Time to check social media >They all are having a party at Chad's house >One of the students mom asked: Is this the whole class? >Got ten replies, all of them: "YES!" >#TheWholeSquad You f------ better quit f------ with me before something really bad happens

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He's a ghost, sir. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:29:54 No.118084063 >guy's got no social media presence at allI, he's like a ghost 11 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:36:19 No.118084291 >Chief we found his high school yearbook. >Thank god, we can find who he went to prom with and question her >Sir? He, uh, didn't go to prom >>118085042 #
: Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:29:54 No.118084063 >guy's got no social media presence at allI, he's like a ghost 11 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)10:36:19 No.118084291 >Chief we found his high school yearbook. >Thank god, we can find who he went to prom with and question her >Sir? He, uh, didn't go to prom >>118085042 #

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