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Anon wastes his work life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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why it have coin tho | /r/Greentext


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Anon has autism. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is broke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:16:03 No.6375456 wiki How to Teach an Autistic Student 1517765470864.jpg 73 KB JPG would you pay $199 dollars to increase ur IQ by 1 point? : Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:23:54 No.6375495 >>6375456 (OP) # no but I would pay 1 IQ point to increase my bank account by $199
: Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:16:03 No.6375456 wiki How to Teach an Autistic Student 1517765470864.jpg 73 KB JPG would you pay $199 dollars to increase ur IQ by 1 point? : Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:23:54 No.6375495 >>6375456 (OP) # no but I would pay 1 IQ point to increase my bank account by $199

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon goes shopping | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20220311_130219.jpg (156 KB, 712x590) O I f------ hate wagies Anonymous (ID: UGPNYGO3 ) I1 03/11/22(Fri)10:05:58 No.366593689 >>>366593967 >>366594472 >>366594492 >>366594687 >>366594841 >>366594887 >>366595027 >>366595138 >>366595328 >>366595530 >>366595578 >>366595609 >>366595700 >>366595818 >>366595841 >>366595857 >>366595897 >>366595904 >>366596031 >>366596073 >>366596096 >>366596121 >>366596512 >>366596715 >>366596775 >>366596806 >>366596882 >>366597593 >>366597708 >>366598223 >>366598717 >>366598803 >>366598839 >>366599124 >>366599262 >>366599607 >>366599636 >>366599818 >>366599840 >>366599893 >>366600069 >>366600787 >>366600832 >>366600999 >>366601260 >>366601597 >>366601835 >>366602308 >>366602529 >>366602689 >>366603000 >>366603599 >>366603709 >>366604463 >>366604677 >>366605017 >>366605084 >>366605147 >>366605176 >>366605666 >>366606273 >>366606346 >>366606373 >>366606570 >>366607333 >>366607429 >>366607783 >>366608531 >be me >go to best buy for some earbuds >f----- wagie comes up to me and asks me if I need help >say no I'm just looking at the earbuds >wagie proceeds to ask me what type of earbuds I'm looking for >say I don't know I'm just browsing >wagie keeps pestering me >l leave the store and order on Amazon instead This is why online shopping is becoming the norm nowadays. Not because of the meme flu or whatever. Because f------ wagies will never let you browse in f------ peace. They have to come and ask you hundreds of questions. »O Anonymous (ID: MISB/VT ) 03/11/22(Fri)10:20:29 No.366596121 ► >>366596303 >366596323 >366596329 >>366601071 >366593689 (OP) >be me >some autist nerveously waddles into the store >ask him if he needs help >he mumbles something about earbuds >try to ask him what type of earbuds he's looking for to help him choose >he mumbles something back >l ask him to please repeat what he said because it was unintelligible gibberish >he spurgs out and runs out of the store screaming
File: IMG_20220311_130219.jpg (156 KB, 712x590) O I f------ hate wagies Anonymous (ID: UGPNYGO3 ) I1 03/11/22(Fri)10:05:58 No.366593689 >>>366593967 >>366594472 >>366594492 >>366594687 >>366594841 >>366594887 >>366595027 >>366595138 >>366595328 >>366595530 >>366595578 >>366595609 >>366595700 >>366595818 >>366595841 >>366595857 >>366595897 >>366595904 >>366596031 >>366596073 >>366596096 >>366596121 >>366596512 >>366596715 >>366596775 >>366596806 >>366596882 >>366597593 >>366597708 >>366598223 >>366598717 >>366598803 >>366598839 >>366599124 >>366599262 >>366599607 >>366599636 >>366599818 >>366599840 >>366599893 >>366600069 >>366600787 >>366600832 >>366600999 >>366601260 >>366601597 >>366601835 >>366602308 >>366602529 >>366602689 >>366603000 >>366603599 >>366603709 >>366604463 >>366604677 >>366605017 >>366605084 >>366605147 >>366605176 >>366605666 >>366606273 >>366606346 >>366606373 >>366606570 >>366607333 >>366607429 >>366607783 >>366608531 >be me >go to best buy for some earbuds >f----- wagie comes up to me and asks me if I need help >say no I'm just looking at the earbuds >wagie proceeds to ask me what type of earbuds I'm looking for >say I don't know I'm just browsing >wagie keeps pestering me >l leave the store and order on Amazon instead This is why online shopping is becoming the norm nowadays. Not because of the meme flu or whatever. Because f------ wagies will never let you browse in f------ peace. They have to come and ask you hundreds of questions. »O Anonymous (ID: MISB/VT ) 03/11/22(Fri)10:20:29 No.366596121 ► >>366596303 >366596323 >366596329 >>366601071 >366593689 (OP) >be me >some autist nerveously waddles into the store >ask him if he needs help >he mumbles something about earbuds >try to ask him what type of earbuds he's looking for to help him choose >he mumbles something back >l ask him to please repeat what he said because it was unintelligible gibberish >he spurgs out and runs out of the store screaming

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Anon gets caught | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/17(Fri)13:36:40 No.81360206 img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.
: Anonymous 04/07/17(Fri)13:36:40 No.81360206 img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.

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Anon wins a settlement | /r/Greentext


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Anon builds a collection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:17:10 No.874215710 >be me >4th grade >bring 3 sharpners to school >friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners >bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection 53 KB JPG >start collecting more and more sharpners >go to stationary every week to by more sharpners >collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month >start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner >english teacher asks for a sharpner >offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed >sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents >only allowed to bring 1 sharpner >idea.jpg >make a huge sharpner out of cardboard >dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint >display it on my table during the english period >get sent to the office fun days
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:17:10 No.874215710 >be me >4th grade >bring 3 sharpners to school >friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners >bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection 53 KB JPG >start collecting more and more sharpners >go to stationary every week to by more sharpners >collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month >start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner >english teacher asks for a sharpner >offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed >sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents >only allowed to bring 1 sharpner >idea.jpg >make a huge sharpner out of cardboard >dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint >display it on my table during the english period >get sent to the office fun days

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Anon plays Pokemon GO. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)14:49:41 No.67742123 > be me > smoking weed in bathtub > start up Pokemon Go as I never really deleted it from my phone > see a diglett > click on it and my camera turns on showing my body in the bath > suddenly pokemon go gives a 42 KB JPG disclaimer about innapropriate behaviour on the camera. ... does the CCP have my d--- pics guys...
Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)14:49:41 No.67742123 > be me > smoking weed in bathtub > start up Pokemon Go as I never really deleted it from my phone > see a diglett > click on it and my camera turns on showing my body in the bath > suddenly pokemon go gives a 42 KB JPG disclaimer about innapropriate behaviour on the camera. ... does the CCP have my d--- pics guys...

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Amber alert | /r/Greentext


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Anon meets a nice man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >l hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >l look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >I said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >l will never not be a fan
: Anonymous 02/04/22(Fri)00:41:07 No.872024174 >when I was 9 I went to Vegas >we were at a hotel I can't remember which one and getting on an elevator >l hear a burley voice ask to hold the door 14 KB JPG >my parents look like they've just seen a ghost >l look up >John f------ Goodman is standing there in a nice suit fairly tipsy >my parents are in awe same as me >I said "you're the guy from the Flintstones!" >he yells " oh boy are you right! yabadabadoo!" asks my dad to hold his cigar and picks me up >points down at my shirt and says "whats that?" and then flicks my nose >l was laughing and he chuckled and said "good kid you got here" >he put me down reaches in his pocket, pulls out a money clip and gave my parents a couple hundred dollars each and a cigar and said "you guys enjoy your trip huh?" >we walk out of the elevator and look back and he points a finger gun at me and clicks his tongue, waves goodbye to my parents >totally awesome dude 10/10 celebrity >l will never not be a fan

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Anon wants pancakes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21 (Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." 39 KB JPG "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-..rooty t-tooty..." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-..f- fresh n... n fruity.." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?
: Anonymous 02/02/21 (Tue)19:48:24 No.15514415 "Can I have the fruit pancakes please?" >"The what? There's nothing on the menu called "fruit pancakes". "Th-the fresh fruit pancakes." >"Huh..." "Th-this one..." [points to menu] >"Say it." 39 KB JPG "What?" >"Say. It." "I'd like a... r-..rooty t-tooty..." >"Say it like you mean it." [starting to cry] "I-I want a r-r-rooty t-tooty f-f-..f- fresh n... n fruity.." Why do dining establishments like to humiliate their customers like this?

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anon is concerned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:02:29 No.49591017 >played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her >>49591073 #
: Anonymous 11/30/18(Fri)21:02:29 No.49591017 >played Red Dead Redemption with autistic 8yo step-sister >all she did was walk around skinning animals and giggling >mfw she killed a prostitute and asked me why she couldn't skin 1.48 MB GIF her >>49591073 #

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Anon is unlucky. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)08:37:24 No.67738729 >micropenis >Horrible depression >Autistic >Now I'm f------ balding at 26 Why couldn't I have just been born normal? 23 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)08:37:24 No.67738729 >micropenis >Horrible depression >Autistic >Now I'm f------ balding at 26 Why couldn't I have just been born normal? 23 KB JPG

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Anon has a guinea pig | /r/Greentext


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Anon opens up (and gets made fun of) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:12:28 No.874207462 >gf says i should open up >not bottle up my feelings anymore >ever since we started dating she noticed that i have trust issues especially with women >gf asks me why >think "eh why not, lots of men are 206 KB JPG opening up" >tell her about how my older female cousin molested me when i was 10, did it on and off until i was 13. >gf pretended to listen >pretended to care >she didnt offer any consolation, only listened with a blank stare >not saying anything until long after i was done talking >mfw she only wanted to hear this to make fun of me for it >mfw she brought it up at her friends wedding we went to together >mfw she only wanted me to open up so she had something to talk about at a party She was a c---, but surely not all women are like this, just her right?
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:12:28 No.874207462 >gf says i should open up >not bottle up my feelings anymore >ever since we started dating she noticed that i have trust issues especially with women >gf asks me why >think "eh why not, lots of men are 206 KB JPG opening up" >tell her about how my older female cousin molested me when i was 10, did it on and off until i was 13. >gf pretended to listen >pretended to care >she didnt offer any consolation, only listened with a blank stare >not saying anything until long after i was done talking >mfw she only wanted to hear this to make fun of me for it >mfw she brought it up at her friends wedding we went to together >mfw she only wanted me to open up so she had something to talk about at a party She was a c---, but surely not all women are like this, just her right?

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Anon goes on Joe Rogan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)09:48:21 No.874197641 >be me >depressed >gonna get fired soon and threw my 15 year career down the drain >cant sleep because mind racing >each night pretend in my head I'm on Joe rogan >think of interesting subjects to 6 KB JPG discuss with joe >he listens and enjoys talking to me >he's the only one who does >fall asleep. It's like this every f------ night now, what tf is going on with me.
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)09:48:21 No.874197641 >be me >depressed >gonna get fired soon and threw my 15 year career down the drain >cant sleep because mind racing >each night pretend in my head I'm on Joe rogan >think of interesting subjects to 6 KB JPG discuss with joe >he listens and enjoys talking to me >he's the only one who does >fall asleep. It's like this every f------ night now, what tf is going on with me.

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Anon can't piss far | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)01:30:31 No.65863886 >be me GET HUGE >7 years old just moved to new neighbourhood >start hanging with local kids >meet this one kid Gavin who had a weird beatles haircut and piggy eyes >says he can piss further than anyone >whatever.png 43 KB JPG >few days later find myself pissing in a bush by a wall next to Gavin >The f----- pisses right over the wall without splashing the top >The wall is 8ft high >look at Gavin in awe & disbelief >smugGavin.jpg I'm 24 now and I'm still impressed by what I seen that day. How do I make pissing strength gains like Gavin? My stream is weak and feminine. I doubt I could even piss into my own mouth while standing up. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)01:30:31 No.65863886 >be me GET HUGE >7 years old just moved to new neighbourhood >start hanging with local kids >meet this one kid Gavin who had a weird beatles haircut and piggy eyes >says he can piss further than anyone >whatever.png 43 KB JPG >few days later find myself pissing in a bush by a wall next to Gavin >The f----- pisses right over the wall without splashing the top >The wall is 8ft high >look at Gavin in awe & disbelief >smugGavin.jpg I'm 24 now and I'm still impressed by what I seen that day. How do I make pissing strength gains like Gavin? My stream is weak and feminine. I doubt I could even piss into my own mouth while standing up. 2 Replies View Thread

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Remember moms best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.
: Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:31:01 No.46671113 >be me >sad and depressed >mom comes over >she makes pancakes Thanks mom, i love you 7 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/09/18(Mon)14:33:39 No.46671147 >be me >loser working dead end job barely enough to pay rent >no friends, dont talk to co workers >depressed >mom comes over every week to cook several days worth of food and restock groceries >cleans my place >never asks for anything Reminder to love your mom.

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