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> thought i had to eat the whole thing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:11:53 No.8771033 >two weeks ago >make thread asking how to eat these >today >Can't stop eating these Why did you uncage this demon 2.79 MB JPG 18 Replies /1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:13:07 No.8771037 >asking how to eat sunflower seeds are you more stupid than a bird
Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:11:53 No.8771033 >two weeks ago >make thread asking how to eat these >today >Can't stop eating these Why did you uncage this demon 2.79 MB JPG 18 Replies /1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:13:07 No.8771037 >asking how to eat sunflower seeds are you more stupid than a bird

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Anon needed to piss | /r/Greentext

No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MiB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like I'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw ...
No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MiB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like I'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw ...

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Anon does some shitposting | /r/Greentext


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"based meds" | /r/Greentext


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Anon does not watch movies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)12:26:02 No.164846763 D84D9F6D-79A1-48DE-B19C-0805A2610B08.jpg 22 KB JPG The fact that he's been memed to the point of being recognized by zoomers who have never seen the movie as the sigma male grindset rich guy instead of a serial killer is utterly poetic
: Anonymous 03/08/22(Tue)12:26:02 No.164846763 D84D9F6D-79A1-48DE-B19C-0805A2610B08.jpg 22 KB JPG The fact that he's been memed to the point of being recognized by zoomers who have never seen the movie as the sigma male grindset rich guy instead of a serial killer is utterly poetic

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Anon is mega boosted | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous (ID: kj424e09 Is it illegal for me to lie ab(...) 07/28/21(Wed)20:55:02 No.3319138E >have a bit of autistic tendencies my doctors say. >l'll get stressed about Corona virus for no reason, out of the blue a whole lot I don't know why. >go to the Walgreens or clinic and ask to get the vaccine. >on the form they make you check the box that you 117 KB JPG haven't had the Corona virus shot more then twice or more than once every 2 weeks. >if you give the wrong answer they won't give you the shot. I've had 31 shots in the last 6 months, sometimes up to 3 a week. Can I get in legal trouble for lying on these forms?
:Anonymous (ID: kj424e09 Is it illegal for me to lie ab(...) 07/28/21(Wed)20:55:02 No.3319138E >have a bit of autistic tendencies my doctors say. >l'll get stressed about Corona virus for no reason, out of the blue a whole lot I don't know why. >go to the Walgreens or clinic and ask to get the vaccine. >on the form they make you check the box that you 117 KB JPG haven't had the Corona virus shot more then twice or more than once every 2 weeks. >if you give the wrong answer they won't give you the shot. I've had 31 shots in the last 6 months, sometimes up to 3 a week. Can I get in legal trouble for lying on these forms?

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Anon likes sweet feet | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a cool dad. | /r/Greentext


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Autismo strikes again! | /r/Greentext


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Anon wants revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/22(Thu)08:08:00 No.65857874 is ghosting really the ultimate revenge? when you listen to girls experiences online, it seems like nothing hurts them more. Everything else, no matter how bad, will give her closure. ghosting means i dont even care that you exist Find somebody who looks at you the way that dude who ghosted you looks at your Instagram stories 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/10/22(Thu)08:11:48 No.65857899 >>65857874 (OP) # >"hey girl ;)" >"sry I have a bf" >hey guys I totally ghosted her she is literally shaking right now I'm such an alpha Соpe
: Anonymous 03/10/22(Thu)08:08:00 No.65857874 is ghosting really the ultimate revenge? when you listen to girls experiences online, it seems like nothing hurts them more. Everything else, no matter how bad, will give her closure. ghosting means i dont even care that you exist Find somebody who looks at you the way that dude who ghosted you looks at your Instagram stories 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/10/22(Thu)08:11:48 No.65857899 >>65857874 (OP) # >"hey girl ;)" >"sry I have a bf" >hey guys I totally ghosted her she is literally shaking right now I'm such an alpha Соpe

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Anon has finally made it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards 1,5 MB JPG Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 Jeri •.. why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES
Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards 1,5 MB JPG Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 Jeri •.. why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES

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Anon discovers a new season | /r/Greentext


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/v/irgin changes sides | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 543509053 2 sa. önce .. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 543509053 2 sa. önce .. >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLİES 6 İMAGES REPLY

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Anon is mega chad and lifts | /r/Greentext


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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext


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Anon describe tinder | /r/Greentext


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Anon Is Having Trouble | /r/Greentext

>too mentally ill to be normal >too normal to be mentally ill >thus can't get benefits or sympathy
>too mentally ill to be normal >too normal to be mentally ill >thus can't get benefits or sympathy

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Goldfish gets more action than anon | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me
>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (2qMjukk ) 03/07/22(Mon)13:02:42 No.365672645 While Russian-Ukrainian war is ongoing, let's take a look at the composition of the Ukrainian government: The core decision-making inner circle of Ukrainian President Zelensky is actually based on his circle of friends 55 KB JPG when he was an actor. 1. The Chief of Staff of the Presidential Palace, Andre Yemark, is a comedy producer; 2. The head of the Presidential Administration, Andre Bodin, is a lawyer in the entertainment industry; 3. The president's chief policy adviser, Sergey Sheffey, is a comedy writer; 4. Ivan Bakano, deputy chairman of the Ukrainian Supreme Intelligence Service, is the boss of a comedy film company; 5. Senior adviser to the Ukrainian National Defense Committee, Sergei Sivoko, is also a comedian and is Zelensky's partner in acting. >>365672736 # >>365673556 # >>365673749 # >>365674232 # >>3 4805 >3 75006% # >: 5675290 # 79373 # >>365689307 # >>365690310 # >>365691913 # >>365692614 # >>365693743 # >>365694786 # >>365697892 # >>365708572 # >>365708666 # >>365709072 # >>365711266 # >>365715528 # >>365715621 # >>365719514 #
: Anonymous (ID: (2qMjukk ) 03/07/22(Mon)13:02:42 No.365672645 While Russian-Ukrainian war is ongoing, let's take a look at the composition of the Ukrainian government: The core decision-making inner circle of Ukrainian President Zelensky is actually based on his circle of friends 55 KB JPG when he was an actor. 1. The Chief of Staff of the Presidential Palace, Andre Yemark, is a comedy producer; 2. The head of the Presidential Administration, Andre Bodin, is a lawyer in the entertainment industry; 3. The president's chief policy adviser, Sergey Sheffey, is a comedy writer; 4. Ivan Bakano, deputy chairman of the Ukrainian Supreme Intelligence Service, is the boss of a comedy film company; 5. Senior adviser to the Ukrainian National Defense Committee, Sergei Sivoko, is also a comedian and is Zelensky's partner in acting. >>365672736 # >>365673556 # >>365673749 # >>365674232 # >>3 4805 >3 75006% # >: 5675290 # 79373 # >>365689307 # >>365690310 # >>365691913 # >>365692614 # >>365693743 # >>365694786 # >>365697892 # >>365708572 # >>365708666 # >>365709072 # >>365711266 # >>365715528 # >>365715621 # >>365719514 #

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Anon causes 9/11 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)16:02:57 No.862950381 >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that "Letting the flag 229 KB JPG touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11
: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)16:02:57 No.862950381 >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that "Letting the flag 229 KB JPG touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11

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