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Anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)00:12:36 No.873701781 >be me >Brazilian >wake up next to my 16 siblings >hear rain outside >"time for my weekly shower!" >walk outside only to get shot in the head and ran over by 3 motorcycles 27 KB PNG best day in weeks.
: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)00:12:36 No.873701781 >be me >Brazilian >wake up next to my 16 siblings >hear rain outside >"time for my weekly shower!" >walk outside only to get shot in the head and ran over by 3 motorcycles 27 KB PNG best day in weeks.

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Anon watches Game of Thrones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex iqdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >siíster gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry
Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex iqdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >siíster gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry

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anon is dominant | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes milk | /r/Greentext


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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)06:54:55 No.591702859 >think about how I am always the first person to initiate conversation in my group of friends or ask them if they want to play a game >conduct an experiment by not messaging any of them >it has been 37 days and nobody has talked to me or invited me to 7 KB PNG play a game of, talk about assessing if you are annoying and make people uncomfortable somehow or they weren't really good friends to begin with
Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)06:54:55 No.591702859 >think about how I am always the first person to initiate conversation in my group of friends or ask them if they want to play a game >conduct an experiment by not messaging any of them >it has been 37 days and nobody has talked to me or invited me to 7 KB PNG play a game of, talk about assessing if you are annoying and make people uncomfortable somehow or they weren't really good friends to begin with

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anon buys plastic soldiers | /r/Greentext

2h (3/12 6:52) · 874252008 8 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 37KB · (612 × 612) 5 Replies >be me >last year of school >haven't really gotten into trouble in all my time in school >buy small green plastic toy soldiers from a shop in town >start placing little soldiers around the school >on top of boards, in the ceilings of the bathroom, beside lockers >goes on for a month >people start talking about them and noticing them >target one teacher in particular >teacher enjoys finding them, makes a collection of the ones they find >principal talks to me and is super aggressive, claiming i'm trying to start a movement and send a message >threatens to get "relevant authorities" involved and tells me to stop now >they hunt down the obvious army men i hid for teachers to find and stole my teachers collection how do i get back at them and shitpost more? need some autistic ideas, I only have basically 2 months left of school before I'm out
2h (3/12 6:52) · 874252008 8 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 37KB · (612 × 612) 5 Replies >be me >last year of school >haven't really gotten into trouble in all my time in school >buy small green plastic toy soldiers from a shop in town >start placing little soldiers around the school >on top of boards, in the ceilings of the bathroom, beside lockers >goes on for a month >people start talking about them and noticing them >target one teacher in particular >teacher enjoys finding them, makes a collection of the ones they find >principal talks to me and is super aggressive, claiming i'm trying to start a movement and send a message >threatens to get "relevant authorities" involved and tells me to stop now >they hunt down the obvious army men i hid for teachers to find and stole my teachers collection how do i get back at them and shitpost more? need some autistic ideas, I only have basically 2 months left of school before I'm out

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Anon meets a russian soldier | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous (ID: 2vi+g+ig 03/12/22(Sat)13:08:03 No.366704633 >>366 366705220 >>366705227 >>366705497 >>366705528 >>366705593 >>366705873 >>366706095 366710146 >>366710232 >>366710250 >>366710410 >>366710838 >>366710912 >>366711017 > 366717186 >>366717374 >>366717790 >>366717810 >>366717905 >>366718344 >>366718436 366720901 >>366721061 >>366722007 >>366723757 >>366724591 >>366726168 >>366726463 > a russian soldier just knocked on my f------ door and asked for food jesus christ I thought it was a meme
1 Anonymous (ID: 2vi+g+ig 03/12/22(Sat)13:08:03 No.366704633 >>366 366705220 >>366705227 >>366705497 >>366705528 >>366705593 >>366705873 >>366706095 366710146 >>366710232 >>366710250 >>366710410 >>366710838 >>366710912 >>366711017 > 366717186 >>366717374 >>366717790 >>366717810 >>366717905 >>366718344 >>366718436 366720901 >>366721061 >>366722007 >>366723757 >>366724591 >>366726168 >>366726463 > a russian soldier just knocked on my f------ door and asked for food jesus christ I thought it was a meme

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG

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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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Just Chinese things | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)12:24:56 No.67742480 >finally get a career oriented job at 26 >it's factory work but it's a nice small place >co-worker is cool guy and we get along >manager is pretty relaxed and everyone likes him 36 KB PNG >today managers wife and daughters come in to bring him lunch for his birthday >one daughter looks over 20 and the other is probably 14 >after they leave, manager tells co-worker that his daughter was mirin' >they laugh and I ask if it was the legal one or the hot one >dead silence >manager coughs and says maybe they could set up a date >co-worker says hah that sounds good >they go about their day without saying another word to me Should I just not go in on Monday? I've only been there a f------ week. I think I can act more normal at the next job : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri) 12:28:08 No.67742516 >>67742480 (OP) # a p--- joke is one thing but to the dad of the kid ur joking about? absolute autism
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)12:24:56 No.67742480 >finally get a career oriented job at 26 >it's factory work but it's a nice small place >co-worker is cool guy and we get along >manager is pretty relaxed and everyone likes him 36 KB PNG >today managers wife and daughters come in to bring him lunch for his birthday >one daughter looks over 20 and the other is probably 14 >after they leave, manager tells co-worker that his daughter was mirin' >they laugh and I ask if it was the legal one or the hot one >dead silence >manager coughs and says maybe they could set up a date >co-worker says hah that sounds good >they go about their day without saying another word to me Should I just not go in on Monday? I've only been there a f------ week. I think I can act more normal at the next job : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri) 12:28:08 No.67742516 >>67742480 (OP) # a p--- joke is one thing but to the dad of the kid ur joking about? absolute autism

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Anon is strategic genious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.7185664 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.7185664 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass 40 KB JPG

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Anon wastes his work life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life
: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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why it have coin tho | /r/Greentext


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Anon has autism. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is broke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:16:03 No.6375456 wiki How to Teach an Autistic Student 1517765470864.jpg 73 KB JPG would you pay $199 dollars to increase ur IQ by 1 point? : Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:23:54 No.6375495 >>6375456 (OP) # no but I would pay 1 IQ point to increase my bank account by $199
: Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:16:03 No.6375456 wiki How to Teach an Autistic Student 1517765470864.jpg 73 KB JPG would you pay $199 dollars to increase ur IQ by 1 point? : Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:23:54 No.6375495 >>6375456 (OP) # no but I would pay 1 IQ point to increase my bank account by $199

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon goes shopping | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20220311_130219.jpg (156 KB, 712x590) O I f------ hate wagies Anonymous (ID: UGPNYGO3 ) I1 03/11/22(Fri)10:05:58 No.366593689 >>>366593967 >>366594472 >>366594492 >>366594687 >>366594841 >>366594887 >>366595027 >>366595138 >>366595328 >>366595530 >>366595578 >>366595609 >>366595700 >>366595818 >>366595841 >>366595857 >>366595897 >>366595904 >>366596031 >>366596073 >>366596096 >>366596121 >>366596512 >>366596715 >>366596775 >>366596806 >>366596882 >>366597593 >>366597708 >>366598223 >>366598717 >>366598803 >>366598839 >>366599124 >>366599262 >>366599607 >>366599636 >>366599818 >>366599840 >>366599893 >>366600069 >>366600787 >>366600832 >>366600999 >>366601260 >>366601597 >>366601835 >>366602308 >>366602529 >>366602689 >>366603000 >>366603599 >>366603709 >>366604463 >>366604677 >>366605017 >>366605084 >>366605147 >>366605176 >>366605666 >>366606273 >>366606346 >>366606373 >>366606570 >>366607333 >>366607429 >>366607783 >>366608531 >be me >go to best buy for some earbuds >f----- wagie comes up to me and asks me if I need help >say no I'm just looking at the earbuds >wagie proceeds to ask me what type of earbuds I'm looking for >say I don't know I'm just browsing >wagie keeps pestering me >l leave the store and order on Amazon instead This is why online shopping is becoming the norm nowadays. Not because of the meme flu or whatever. Because f------ wagies will never let you browse in f------ peace. They have to come and ask you hundreds of questions. »O Anonymous (ID: MISB/VT ) 03/11/22(Fri)10:20:29 No.366596121 ► >>366596303 >366596323 >366596329 >>366601071 >366593689 (OP) >be me >some autist nerveously waddles into the store >ask him if he needs help >he mumbles something about earbuds >try to ask him what type of earbuds he's looking for to help him choose >he mumbles something back >l ask him to please repeat what he said because it was unintelligible gibberish >he spurgs out and runs out of the store screaming
File: IMG_20220311_130219.jpg (156 KB, 712x590) O I f------ hate wagies Anonymous (ID: UGPNYGO3 ) I1 03/11/22(Fri)10:05:58 No.366593689 >>>366593967 >>366594472 >>366594492 >>366594687 >>366594841 >>366594887 >>366595027 >>366595138 >>366595328 >>366595530 >>366595578 >>366595609 >>366595700 >>366595818 >>366595841 >>366595857 >>366595897 >>366595904 >>366596031 >>366596073 >>366596096 >>366596121 >>366596512 >>366596715 >>366596775 >>366596806 >>366596882 >>366597593 >>366597708 >>366598223 >>366598717 >>366598803 >>366598839 >>366599124 >>366599262 >>366599607 >>366599636 >>366599818 >>366599840 >>366599893 >>366600069 >>366600787 >>366600832 >>366600999 >>366601260 >>366601597 >>366601835 >>366602308 >>366602529 >>366602689 >>366603000 >>366603599 >>366603709 >>366604463 >>366604677 >>366605017 >>366605084 >>366605147 >>366605176 >>366605666 >>366606273 >>366606346 >>366606373 >>366606570 >>366607333 >>366607429 >>366607783 >>366608531 >be me >go to best buy for some earbuds >f----- wagie comes up to me and asks me if I need help >say no I'm just looking at the earbuds >wagie proceeds to ask me what type of earbuds I'm looking for >say I don't know I'm just browsing >wagie keeps pestering me >l leave the store and order on Amazon instead This is why online shopping is becoming the norm nowadays. Not because of the meme flu or whatever. Because f------ wagies will never let you browse in f------ peace. They have to come and ask you hundreds of questions. »O Anonymous (ID: MISB/VT ) 03/11/22(Fri)10:20:29 No.366596121 ► >>366596303 >366596323 >366596329 >>366601071 >366593689 (OP) >be me >some autist nerveously waddles into the store >ask him if he needs help >he mumbles something about earbuds >try to ask him what type of earbuds he's looking for to help him choose >he mumbles something back >l ask him to please repeat what he said because it was unintelligible gibberish >he spurgs out and runs out of the store screaming

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Anon gets caught | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/17(Fri)13:36:40 No.81360206 img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.
: Anonymous 04/07/17(Fri)13:36:40 No.81360206 img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.

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Anon wins a settlement | /r/Greentext


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