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anon crawls out | /r/Greentext

>be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >l hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.
>be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >l hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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Anon explains why autists are politically extreme. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZX14V6he )= 03/12/22(Sat)12:43:16 No.366793832 >>366788553 (OP) # extremes. let me give you my knowledge. >be me >be 16 >go to htx (STEM gymnasium) >a lot of autists there >be put in a GF (grundforløbet not girlfriend you virgins) for the first 3 months before choosing a select study path >end up choosing mathematics on high level, physics on high level and machine- and electronics technology on high level turnsoutonlyautistschoosethat.png >be put in a class of 25 students >get to know everyone in the class pretty well by end of first year >when going out of gymnasium, and doing the student parade thing (studenterkørelse, danish thing), our truck was decorated with a purposefully wrong equation and a swastika. >many got the ss bolts in their studenterhue (another danish thing) of the figures I know the class consisted of the following: >one communist >twenty four radical danish nationalists is it a surprise that our class was also 100% boys, with a female drop out rate of 100%. by the end of year 3, 2 guys where diagnosed autists, 3 asprgers, and 7 further where heavily (unironically) suspended.
: Anonymous (ID: ZX14V6he )= 03/12/22(Sat)12:43:16 No.366793832 >>366788553 (OP) # extremes. let me give you my knowledge. >be me >be 16 >go to htx (STEM gymnasium) >a lot of autists there >be put in a GF (grundforløbet not girlfriend you virgins) for the first 3 months before choosing a select study path >end up choosing mathematics on high level, physics on high level and machine- and electronics technology on high level turnsoutonlyautistschoosethat.png >be put in a class of 25 students >get to know everyone in the class pretty well by end of first year >when going out of gymnasium, and doing the student parade thing (studenterkørelse, danish thing), our truck was decorated with a purposefully wrong equation and a swastika. >many got the ss bolts in their studenterhue (another danish thing) of the figures I know the class consisted of the following: >one communist >twenty four radical danish nationalists is it a surprise that our class was also 100% boys, with a female drop out rate of 100%. by the end of year 3, 2 guys where diagnosed autists, 3 asprgers, and 7 further where heavily (unironically) suspended.

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Anon is a poet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso ) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 #
: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso ) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 #

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For science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my hole and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG | Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of 1.3 MB JPG you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. OHOLE IS ON FIRE IT ING HURTS. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels feels
: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my hole and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG | Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of 1.3 MB JPG you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. OHOLE IS ON FIRE IT ING HURTS. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels feels

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Femanon met a broke dude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/18(Sat)08:02:24 No.759492502 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to kfc >sounds good to me 8 KB JPG >he uses his 20% staff discount >ask can i use his discount >"sorry, anon. i would.. but i can only get 3 meals discounted per day" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/10/18(Sat)08:02:24 No.759492502 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to kfc >sounds good to me 8 KB JPG >he uses his 20% staff discount >ask can i use his discount >"sorry, anon. i would.. but i can only get 3 meals discounted per day" >mfw

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Anon violates a DNR | /r/Greentext

3h (2/6 3:44) · 163471672 3 Replies >2019 >outside shoveling snow >look across the street and see my neighbor lying on his back in the middle of his driveway >go over to help him up, the guy isn't breathing and I can't feel a pulse >oh_shit.iso >call 911 and do chest compressions until he finally starts doing some horrible agonal breathing >after like 15 minutes, an ambulance arrives and takes the guy to the hospital >finish shoveling the guy's driveway for him >he apparently had a DNR order >he tried taking me to court, but l'm not a medical professional or even trained to do CPR >now he harasses me and makes a ton of noise all day long >he has had 2 DUI's since then I should've let him die.
3h (2/6 3:44) · 163471672 3 Replies >2019 >outside shoveling snow >look across the street and see my neighbor lying on his back in the middle of his driveway >go over to help him up, the guy isn't breathing and I can't feel a pulse >oh_shit.iso >call 911 and do chest compressions until he finally starts doing some horrible agonal breathing >after like 15 minutes, an ambulance arrives and takes the guy to the hospital >finish shoveling the guy's driveway for him >he apparently had a DNR order >he tried taking me to court, but l'm not a medical professional or even trained to do CPR >now he harasses me and makes a ton of noise all day long >he has had 2 DUI's since then I should've let him die.

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Anon blows himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep
Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep

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Anon is the devil | /r/Greentext

1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.
1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.

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Anon high school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP)_# >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being called a racist 39 KB JPG >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP)_# >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being called a racist 39 KB JPG >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw

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Anon is the main character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am f------ unstoppable 03/11/22(Fri)10:31:35 No.65872122 >Be me >Hanging out with my friends, (three other guys, one girl) >Just got back from a restaurant >Whistling to myself as he walked >Strange looking guy comes to us with a hoodie 623 KB PNG >Pulls out a gun >"Gimme yo money, bitches" >My friends piss themselves, girl starts hyperventilating >Begin taking out s--- to give to this parasite >"And bitch" you, >He points the gun at me >l merely look down to the ground >"Yo money, BITCH! >Puts the gun up to my head, I don't even flinch >"Tell me, friendo, how many bullets have you got in that magazine >Guy looks at me with unease and confusion as I act 100% calm >"Because... if you're gonna shoot... you better not miss, chief." >Immediately I disarm his gun with a MMA move I learnt. >Then I tackle him to the ground >My friends are shaking, the girl is soaking wet >"You f----- with the wrong guy, friendo" >l snap his arm. >The police are called >I have sex with the girl this night Lifting is good, but you need to face death with a smile to call yourself a true man. : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:34:40 No.65872155 >>65872122 (OP) # >things that never happened >>65872184 # >>65873088 # >>65879769 # >>65880368 # >>65880566 #
: Anonymous I am f------ unstoppable 03/11/22(Fri)10:31:35 No.65872122 >Be me >Hanging out with my friends, (three other guys, one girl) >Just got back from a restaurant >Whistling to myself as he walked >Strange looking guy comes to us with a hoodie 623 KB PNG >Pulls out a gun >"Gimme yo money, bitches" >My friends piss themselves, girl starts hyperventilating >Begin taking out s--- to give to this parasite >"And bitch" you, >He points the gun at me >l merely look down to the ground >"Yo money, BITCH! >Puts the gun up to my head, I don't even flinch >"Tell me, friendo, how many bullets have you got in that magazine >Guy looks at me with unease and confusion as I act 100% calm >"Because... if you're gonna shoot... you better not miss, chief." >Immediately I disarm his gun with a MMA move I learnt. >Then I tackle him to the ground >My friends are shaking, the girl is soaking wet >"You f----- with the wrong guy, friendo" >l snap his arm. >The police are called >I have sex with the girl this night Lifting is good, but you need to face death with a smile to call yourself a true man. : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:34:40 No.65872155 >>65872122 (OP) # >things that never happened >>65872184 # >>65873088 # >>65879769 # >>65880368 # >>65880566 #

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Anon makes eye contact. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)04:18:05 No.67755509 >jerking off while watching p--- >make eye contact with female in p--- >OhShit.jpg >avert eye contact >remind myself its a p--- video and she's not a real female >resume eye contact >continue jerking off 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)04:18:05 No.67755509 >jerking off while watching p--- >make eye contact with female in p--- >OhShit.jpg >avert eye contact >remind myself its a p--- video and she's not a real female >resume eye contact >continue jerking off 40 KB JPG

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Anon feels famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous autistic things you do 06/06/18(Wed)21:28:21 No.45943362 >open webcam >put little webcam window in corner of screen >pretend l'm streaming while l'm browsing the internet and watching 37 KB PNG videos >make comments on stuff >pretend l'm an eceleb and people like me : Anonymous 06/06/18(Wed)21:29:33 No.45943385 this is nothing to the f------ people on here who like store their s--- and c-- in a sock and refrigerate it to later use it on pizza. You are basically 1.94 MB GIF normal, anon >>45943650 # >>45944308 #
: Anonymous autistic things you do 06/06/18(Wed)21:28:21 No.45943362 >open webcam >put little webcam window in corner of screen >pretend l'm streaming while l'm browsing the internet and watching 37 KB PNG videos >make comments on stuff >pretend l'm an eceleb and people like me : Anonymous 06/06/18(Wed)21:29:33 No.45943385 this is nothing to the f------ people on here who like store their s--- and c-- in a sock and refrigerate it to later use it on pizza. You are basically 1.94 MB GIF normal, anon >>45943650 # >>45944308 #

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anon briefly boxes | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)11:02:38 No.874273194 ► USSELL nS >inexpensive >gives you space where you need it >doesn't derelict duty by being too baggy and bunching >doesn't squeeze and chafe against your balls like a nagging bitch >caresses where you need the most caressing SELL HUSSELL - OEYLISSELL nEs AUSSELL boxer-briefs are the manliest, most loyal, loving kind of underwear
I Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)11:02:38 No.874273194 ► USSELL nS >inexpensive >gives you space where you need it >doesn't derelict duty by being too baggy and bunching >doesn't squeeze and chafe against your balls like a nagging bitch >caresses where you need the most caressing SELL HUSSELL - OEYLISSELL nEs AUSSELL boxer-briefs are the manliest, most loyal, loving kind of underwear

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Anon’s sister’s son moves in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)06:25:03 No.843771365 >be me >sister temporarily moves in with me because hard times due to covid >has 3 year old son >hyper little s--- that likes to run around screaming 'AHHHHHHHH' 15 KB JPG >annonying but not hurting anybody >one night sleeping >start having nightmare of being mugged in a alley >mugger starts to stab me in chest with knife >suddenly wake up to the sound of 'AHHHHH' >mfw the little s--- is next to my bed repeatedly stabbing me in the chest with a screwdriver I think i may need to goto the hospital, fuckiiin hurts.
: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)06:25:03 No.843771365 >be me >sister temporarily moves in with me because hard times due to covid >has 3 year old son >hyper little s--- that likes to run around screaming 'AHHHHHHHH' 15 KB JPG >annonying but not hurting anybody >one night sleeping >start having nightmare of being mugged in a alley >mugger starts to stab me in chest with knife >suddenly wake up to the sound of 'AHHHHH' >mfw the little s--- is next to my bed repeatedly stabbing me in the chest with a screwdriver I think i may need to goto the hospital, fuckiiin hurts.

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Anon enjoys the little things in life | /r/Greentext

File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady
File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady

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Anon might have a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)20:52:35 No.810681459 Do you guys think buying a 6tb hard drive purely for p--- means I WD WD Red Pro 6" have an addiction? NAS Hard Drive 29 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)21:14:35 No.810682703 >>810681459 (OP) # Yes.
: Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)20:52:35 No.810681459 Do you guys think buying a 6tb hard drive purely for p--- means I WD WD Red Pro 6" have an addiction? NAS Hard Drive 29 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)21:14:35 No.810682703 >>810681459 (OP) # Yes.

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Anon doesn't understand Russian mindset | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)23:33:42 No.52228503 File: russian autism.jpg (15 KB, 273x234) >>52227181(OP) >There are civilians??? In the city WE invaded? >How DARE they defend THEIR homelands???
O Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)23:33:42 No.52228503 File: russian autism.jpg (15 KB, 273x234) >>52227181(OP) >There are civilians??? In the city WE invaded? >How DARE they defend THEIR homelands???

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Anon is disappointed with Putin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: JvtMmMMh What is this tactic called 03/12/22(Sat)20:39:51 No.366750496 This is literally and unironically the most pathetic military invasion in history. I dont understand how Kremlin Gremlins can still pretend it is a success. >Stuck outside of Kyiv for 2 weeks >No progress in the east 2.78 MB WEBM >Thousands of tanks destroyed >Hundreds of aircraft shot down >tens of thousands of infantry dead >economy will last a month at most with sanctions Putin needs to just retreat, apologize, and resign. Let there be a new Russian election with US/EU advisors making sure it is ACTUALLY democratic and not a rigged corrupted one like how Putin got into power in the first place. 273 Replies / 39 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: JvtMmMMh What is this tactic called 03/12/22(Sat)20:39:51 No.366750496 This is literally and unironically the most pathetic military invasion in history. I dont understand how Kremlin Gremlins can still pretend it is a success. >Stuck outside of Kyiv for 2 weeks >No progress in the east 2.78 MB WEBM >Thousands of tanks destroyed >Hundreds of aircraft shot down >tens of thousands of infantry dead >economy will last a month at most with sanctions Putin needs to just retreat, apologize, and resign. Let there be a new Russian election with US/EU advisors making sure it is ACTUALLY democratic and not a rigged corrupted one like how Putin got into power in the first place. 273 Replies / 39 Images View Thread

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Anon speaks about british names | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)21:57:03 No.161179133 British people be like >hello my name is Archibald Gaylord 823 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)21:57:03 No.161179133 British people be like >hello my name is Archibald Gaylord 823 KB PNG

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Just don’t | /r/Greentext

> Be me > Be frequent 4chan user > Use reddit often as well because I don't want to live here my whole life > Post green text > Post it on reddit 28 KB JPG > Sleep.exe > Wake up and check reddit > 5 upvotes > WotBlud.jpeg > Check on hot posts > See my green text posted a hour after mine > 1.3k upvotes There is no way to succeed on the internet
> Be me > Be frequent 4chan user > Use reddit often as well because I don't want to live here my whole life > Post green text > Post it on reddit 28 KB JPG > Sleep.exe > Wake up and check reddit > 5 upvotes > WotBlud.jpeg > Check on hot posts > See my green text posted a hour after mine > 1.3k upvotes There is no way to succeed on the internet

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