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Anon is the main character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am f------ unstoppable 03/11/22(Fri)10:31:35 No.65872122 >Be me >Hanging out with my friends, (three other guys, one girl) >Just got back from a restaurant >Whistling to myself as he walked >Strange looking guy comes to us with a hoodie 623 KB PNG >Pulls out a gun >"Gimme yo money, bitches" >My friends piss themselves, girl starts hyperventilating >Begin taking out s--- to give to this parasite >"And bitch" you, >He points the gun at me >l merely look down to the ground >"Yo money, BITCH! >Puts the gun up to my head, I don't even flinch >"Tell me, friendo, how many bullets have you got in that magazine >Guy looks at me with unease and confusion as I act 100% calm >"Because... if you're gonna shoot... you better not miss, chief." >Immediately I disarm his gun with a MMA move I learnt. >Then I tackle him to the ground >My friends are shaking, the girl is soaking wet >"You f----- with the wrong guy, friendo" >l snap his arm. >The police are called >I have sex with the girl this night Lifting is good, but you need to face death with a smile to call yourself a true man. : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:34:40 No.65872155 >>65872122 (OP) # >things that never happened >>65872184 # >>65873088 # >>65879769 # >>65880368 # >>65880566 #
: Anonymous I am f------ unstoppable 03/11/22(Fri)10:31:35 No.65872122 >Be me >Hanging out with my friends, (three other guys, one girl) >Just got back from a restaurant >Whistling to myself as he walked >Strange looking guy comes to us with a hoodie 623 KB PNG >Pulls out a gun >"Gimme yo money, bitches" >My friends piss themselves, girl starts hyperventilating >Begin taking out s--- to give to this parasite >"And bitch" you, >He points the gun at me >l merely look down to the ground >"Yo money, BITCH! >Puts the gun up to my head, I don't even flinch >"Tell me, friendo, how many bullets have you got in that magazine >Guy looks at me with unease and confusion as I act 100% calm >"Because... if you're gonna shoot... you better not miss, chief." >Immediately I disarm his gun with a MMA move I learnt. >Then I tackle him to the ground >My friends are shaking, the girl is soaking wet >"You f----- with the wrong guy, friendo" >l snap his arm. >The police are called >I have sex with the girl this night Lifting is good, but you need to face death with a smile to call yourself a true man. : Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)10:34:40 No.65872155 >>65872122 (OP) # >things that never happened >>65872184 # >>65873088 # >>65879769 # >>65880368 # >>65880566 #

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Anon makes eye contact. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)04:18:05 No.67755509 >jerking off while watching p--- >make eye contact with female in p--- >OhShit.jpg >avert eye contact >remind myself its a p--- video and she's not a real female >resume eye contact >continue jerking off 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)04:18:05 No.67755509 >jerking off while watching p--- >make eye contact with female in p--- >OhShit.jpg >avert eye contact >remind myself its a p--- video and she's not a real female >resume eye contact >continue jerking off 40 KB JPG

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Anon feels famous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous autistic things you do 06/06/18(Wed)21:28:21 No.45943362 >open webcam >put little webcam window in corner of screen >pretend l'm streaming while l'm browsing the internet and watching 37 KB PNG videos >make comments on stuff >pretend l'm an eceleb and people like me : Anonymous 06/06/18(Wed)21:29:33 No.45943385 this is nothing to the f------ people on here who like store their s--- and c-- in a sock and refrigerate it to later use it on pizza. You are basically 1.94 MB GIF normal, anon >>45943650 # >>45944308 #
: Anonymous autistic things you do 06/06/18(Wed)21:28:21 No.45943362 >open webcam >put little webcam window in corner of screen >pretend l'm streaming while l'm browsing the internet and watching 37 KB PNG videos >make comments on stuff >pretend l'm an eceleb and people like me : Anonymous 06/06/18(Wed)21:29:33 No.45943385 this is nothing to the f------ people on here who like store their s--- and c-- in a sock and refrigerate it to later use it on pizza. You are basically 1.94 MB GIF normal, anon >>45943650 # >>45944308 #

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anon briefly boxes | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)11:02:38 No.874273194 ► USSELL nS >inexpensive >gives you space where you need it >doesn't derelict duty by being too baggy and bunching >doesn't squeeze and chafe against your balls like a nagging bitch >caresses where you need the most caressing SELL HUSSELL - OEYLISSELL nEs AUSSELL boxer-briefs are the manliest, most loyal, loving kind of underwear
I Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)11:02:38 No.874273194 ► USSELL nS >inexpensive >gives you space where you need it >doesn't derelict duty by being too baggy and bunching >doesn't squeeze and chafe against your balls like a nagging bitch >caresses where you need the most caressing SELL HUSSELL - OEYLISSELL nEs AUSSELL boxer-briefs are the manliest, most loyal, loving kind of underwear

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Anon’s sister’s son moves in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)06:25:03 No.843771365 >be me >sister temporarily moves in with me because hard times due to covid >has 3 year old son >hyper little s--- that likes to run around screaming 'AHHHHHHHH' 15 KB JPG >annonying but not hurting anybody >one night sleeping >start having nightmare of being mugged in a alley >mugger starts to stab me in chest with knife >suddenly wake up to the sound of 'AHHHHH' >mfw the little s--- is next to my bed repeatedly stabbing me in the chest with a screwdriver I think i may need to goto the hospital, fuckiiin hurts.
: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)06:25:03 No.843771365 >be me >sister temporarily moves in with me because hard times due to covid >has 3 year old son >hyper little s--- that likes to run around screaming 'AHHHHHHHH' 15 KB JPG >annonying but not hurting anybody >one night sleeping >start having nightmare of being mugged in a alley >mugger starts to stab me in chest with knife >suddenly wake up to the sound of 'AHHHHH' >mfw the little s--- is next to my bed repeatedly stabbing me in the chest with a screwdriver I think i may need to goto the hospital, fuckiiin hurts.

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Anon enjoys the little things in life | /r/Greentext

File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady
File: apples.jpg (57 KB, 460x460) O Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)17:28:43 No.54597642 [Reply] Enjoying the little things stories? >be me, walking past local market >pass stand with many different apples >desire to eat apple intensifies >select good-looking apple, approach apple lady to pay >"Just the one? You can just have it." >nice early fall day >walk streets eating free apple >it's super juicy and crunchy to the max, 9.5/10 >Thanks, apple lady

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Anon might have a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)20:52:35 No.810681459 Do you guys think buying a 6tb hard drive purely for p--- means I WD WD Red Pro 6" have an addiction? NAS Hard Drive 29 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)21:14:35 No.810682703 >>810681459 (OP) # Yes.
: Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)20:52:35 No.810681459 Do you guys think buying a 6tb hard drive purely for p--- means I WD WD Red Pro 6" have an addiction? NAS Hard Drive 29 KB JPG 5 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/29/19(Sun)21:14:35 No.810682703 >>810681459 (OP) # Yes.

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Anon doesn't understand Russian mindset | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)23:33:42 No.52228503 File: russian autism.jpg (15 KB, 273x234) >>52227181(OP) >There are civilians??? In the city WE invaded? >How DARE they defend THEIR homelands???
O Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)23:33:42 No.52228503 File: russian autism.jpg (15 KB, 273x234) >>52227181(OP) >There are civilians??? In the city WE invaded? >How DARE they defend THEIR homelands???

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Anon is disappointed with Putin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: JvtMmMMh What is this tactic called 03/12/22(Sat)20:39:51 No.366750496 This is literally and unironically the most pathetic military invasion in history. I dont understand how Kremlin Gremlins can still pretend it is a success. >Stuck outside of Kyiv for 2 weeks >No progress in the east 2.78 MB WEBM >Thousands of tanks destroyed >Hundreds of aircraft shot down >tens of thousands of infantry dead >economy will last a month at most with sanctions Putin needs to just retreat, apologize, and resign. Let there be a new Russian election with US/EU advisors making sure it is ACTUALLY democratic and not a rigged corrupted one like how Putin got into power in the first place. 273 Replies / 39 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: JvtMmMMh What is this tactic called 03/12/22(Sat)20:39:51 No.366750496 This is literally and unironically the most pathetic military invasion in history. I dont understand how Kremlin Gremlins can still pretend it is a success. >Stuck outside of Kyiv for 2 weeks >No progress in the east 2.78 MB WEBM >Thousands of tanks destroyed >Hundreds of aircraft shot down >tens of thousands of infantry dead >economy will last a month at most with sanctions Putin needs to just retreat, apologize, and resign. Let there be a new Russian election with US/EU advisors making sure it is ACTUALLY democratic and not a rigged corrupted one like how Putin got into power in the first place. 273 Replies / 39 Images View Thread

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Anon speaks about british names | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)21:57:03 No.161179133 British people be like >hello my name is Archibald Gaylord 823 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/11/22(Fri)21:57:03 No.161179133 British people be like >hello my name is Archibald Gaylord 823 KB PNG

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Just don’t | /r/Greentext

> Be me > Be frequent 4chan user > Use reddit often as well because I don't want to live here my whole life > Post green text > Post it on reddit 28 KB JPG > Sleep.exe > Wake up and check reddit > 5 upvotes > WotBlud.jpeg > Check on hot posts > See my green text posted a hour after mine > 1.3k upvotes There is no way to succeed on the internet
> Be me > Be frequent 4chan user > Use reddit often as well because I don't want to live here my whole life > Post green text > Post it on reddit 28 KB JPG > Sleep.exe > Wake up and check reddit > 5 upvotes > WotBlud.jpeg > Check on hot posts > See my green text posted a hour after mine > 1.3k upvotes There is no way to succeed on the internet

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Anon is Brazilian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)00:12:36 No.873701781 >be me >Brazilian >wake up next to my 16 siblings >hear rain outside >"time for my weekly shower!" >walk outside only to get shot in the head and ran over by 3 motorcycles 27 KB PNG best day in weeks.
: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)00:12:36 No.873701781 >be me >Brazilian >wake up next to my 16 siblings >hear rain outside >"time for my weekly shower!" >walk outside only to get shot in the head and ran over by 3 motorcycles 27 KB PNG best day in weeks.

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Anon watches Game of Thrones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex iqdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >siíster gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry
Anonymous (ID: RBA6ZHLX) * 07/16/19(Tue)20:39:14 No.219671854 v >>219672009 >>219672036 >>219672100 >>219672237 >>219673135 >>219673226 >>219674567 >>219675130 1445054120749.jpg (8 KB, 210x251) google yandex iqdb wait >watching game of thrones with parents and older sister last week >episode 1 >m----- sex scene with naked ladies >sister shouts "anon, look away!" >ask why >"aren't you still a virgin?" >family giggles >i----- scene comes up >try to be funny and say "see, you could help me with that sis!" >complete silence for a minute >siíster gets incredibly offended and awkward >mom gets angry >dad screams "what the f--- is wrong with you?" >go to my room and cry

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anon is dominant | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes milk | /r/Greentext


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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)06:54:55 No.591702859 >think about how I am always the first person to initiate conversation in my group of friends or ask them if they want to play a game >conduct an experiment by not messaging any of them >it has been 37 days and nobody has talked to me or invited me to 7 KB PNG play a game of, talk about assessing if you are annoying and make people uncomfortable somehow or they weren't really good friends to begin with
Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)06:54:55 No.591702859 >think about how I am always the first person to initiate conversation in my group of friends or ask them if they want to play a game >conduct an experiment by not messaging any of them >it has been 37 days and nobody has talked to me or invited me to 7 KB PNG play a game of, talk about assessing if you are annoying and make people uncomfortable somehow or they weren't really good friends to begin with

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anon buys plastic soldiers | /r/Greentext

2h (3/12 6:52) · 874252008 8 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 37KB · (612 × 612) 5 Replies >be me >last year of school >haven't really gotten into trouble in all my time in school >buy small green plastic toy soldiers from a shop in town >start placing little soldiers around the school >on top of boards, in the ceilings of the bathroom, beside lockers >goes on for a month >people start talking about them and noticing them >target one teacher in particular >teacher enjoys finding them, makes a collection of the ones they find >principal talks to me and is super aggressive, claiming i'm trying to start a movement and send a message >threatens to get "relevant authorities" involved and tells me to stop now >they hunt down the obvious army men i hid for teachers to find and stole my teachers collection how do i get back at them and shitpost more? need some autistic ideas, I only have basically 2 months left of school before I'm out
2h (3/12 6:52) · 874252008 8 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 37KB · (612 × 612) 5 Replies >be me >last year of school >haven't really gotten into trouble in all my time in school >buy small green plastic toy soldiers from a shop in town >start placing little soldiers around the school >on top of boards, in the ceilings of the bathroom, beside lockers >goes on for a month >people start talking about them and noticing them >target one teacher in particular >teacher enjoys finding them, makes a collection of the ones they find >principal talks to me and is super aggressive, claiming i'm trying to start a movement and send a message >threatens to get "relevant authorities" involved and tells me to stop now >they hunt down the obvious army men i hid for teachers to find and stole my teachers collection how do i get back at them and shitpost more? need some autistic ideas, I only have basically 2 months left of school before I'm out

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Anon meets a russian soldier | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous (ID: 2vi+g+ig 03/12/22(Sat)13:08:03 No.366704633 >>366 366705220 >>366705227 >>366705497 >>366705528 >>366705593 >>366705873 >>366706095 366710146 >>366710232 >>366710250 >>366710410 >>366710838 >>366710912 >>366711017 > 366717186 >>366717374 >>366717790 >>366717810 >>366717905 >>366718344 >>366718436 366720901 >>366721061 >>366722007 >>366723757 >>366724591 >>366726168 >>366726463 > a russian soldier just knocked on my f------ door and asked for food jesus christ I thought it was a meme
1 Anonymous (ID: 2vi+g+ig 03/12/22(Sat)13:08:03 No.366704633 >>366 366705220 >>366705227 >>366705497 >>366705528 >>366705593 >>366705873 >>366706095 366710146 >>366710232 >>366710250 >>366710410 >>366710838 >>366710912 >>366711017 > 366717186 >>366717374 >>366717790 >>366717810 >>366717905 >>366718344 >>366718436 366720901 >>366721061 >>366722007 >>366723757 >>366724591 >>366726168 >>366726463 > a russian soldier just knocked on my f------ door and asked for food jesus christ I thought it was a meme

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)07:41:14 No.63062465 >meet a person >start talking about things we like >he mentions he likes anything related to anime >leave 36 KB JPG

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Perfect way to go | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 >rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues >lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg >tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging your lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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