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Anon gets benefit | /r/Greentext


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Anon's wife didn't feel good | /r/Greentext


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Turing would be proud | /r/Greentext


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Anon encounters the police | /r/Greentext


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anon goes out | /r/Greentext


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anon is dreaming | /r/Greentext

I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >I tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.
I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >I tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.

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Anon's lost it | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:10:00 No.67763615 ► File: artworks-000032287566-cio(..).jpg (36 KB, 500x500) >>67763165 (OP) >be 6'5" barefoot >wear sneakers, now 6'6" >wear manlet inserts, now 6'8" >tell people thatI am 5'11", even on dating apps am crashing this plane with no survivors.
O Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)12:10:00 No.67763615 ► File: artworks-000032287566-cio(..).jpg (36 KB, 500x500) >>67763165 (OP) >be 6'5" barefoot >wear sneakers, now 6'6" >wear manlet inserts, now 6'8" >tell people thatI am 5'11", even on dating apps am crashing this plane with no survivors.

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Anon fights his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?
: Anonymous 10/14/18(Sun)12:39:16 No.48693227 >be me, living with older sister >she's the one who's usually cooking >she's a terrible cook >l barely know how to make a sandwich so we've got no options >one day get into a fight and I tell| 8 KB JPG her that her food is disgusting >"if you don't like my food then you can eat my p----" >go into my room >hottest fapping session of my life also, how do I apologize to her? She's the main source of income and the only one who does housework and laundry while I just sit at my computer all day. She could go out and f--- with Chad all day yet she'd rather provide me shelter. How could I return her favor?

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anon is Sigma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:03:57 No.67453051 >instructions say cook from frozen >cook from chilled instead 13 KB JPG Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:06:47 No.67453085 >>67453051 (OP) >cashier tells me to have a nice day >tell her I will >don't 4 KB PNG
Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:03:57 No.67453051 >instructions say cook from frozen >cook from chilled instead 13 KB JPG Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)14:06:47 No.67453085 >>67453051 (OP) >cashier tells me to have a nice day >tell her I will >don't 4 KB PNG

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Anon is not wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Random s--- you think about 03/13/22(Sun)00:37:45 No.67757094 >there are people who listen to p--- audio out in public >anyone with earbuds or headphones on could be one of them >you would never know 487 KB JPG
: Anonymous Random s--- you think about 03/13/22(Sun)00:37:45 No.67757094 >there are people who listen to p--- audio out in public >anyone with earbuds or headphones on could be one of them >you would never know 487 KB JPG

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Anon has cool guy syndrome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)18:34:48 No.67757683 Be me >Severe ADHD since i was little >My brain is always on >Have a friend ask me to get some edits done on some photos sure.jpeg >Friend hands me an adderall >"I don't want you getting distracted like you always do" >Whatever, 40mg seems small enough I'm 2 hours in and my head is empty. I feel really slow at the moment, and I've been staring at a s----- /co/ thread for hours now. Is this how you guys typically feel? View Thread
: Anonymous 03/12/22(Sat)18:34:48 No.67757683 Be me >Severe ADHD since i was little >My brain is always on >Have a friend ask me to get some edits done on some photos sure.jpeg >Friend hands me an adderall >"I don't want you getting distracted like you always do" >Whatever, 40mg seems small enough I'm 2 hours in and my head is empty. I feel really slow at the moment, and I've been staring at a s----- /co/ thread for hours now. Is this how you guys typically feel? View Thread

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anon crawls out | /r/Greentext

>be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >l hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.
>be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >l hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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Anon explains why autists are politically extreme. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZX14V6he )= 03/12/22(Sat)12:43:16 No.366793832 >>366788553 (OP) # extremes. let me give you my knowledge. >be me >be 16 >go to htx (STEM gymnasium) >a lot of autists there >be put in a GF (grundforløbet not girlfriend you virgins) for the first 3 months before choosing a select study path >end up choosing mathematics on high level, physics on high level and machine- and electronics technology on high level turnsoutonlyautistschoosethat.png >be put in a class of 25 students >get to know everyone in the class pretty well by end of first year >when going out of gymnasium, and doing the student parade thing (studenterkørelse, danish thing), our truck was decorated with a purposefully wrong equation and a swastika. >many got the ss bolts in their studenterhue (another danish thing) of the figures I know the class consisted of the following: >one communist >twenty four radical danish nationalists is it a surprise that our class was also 100% boys, with a female drop out rate of 100%. by the end of year 3, 2 guys where diagnosed autists, 3 asprgers, and 7 further where heavily (unironically) suspended.
: Anonymous (ID: ZX14V6he )= 03/12/22(Sat)12:43:16 No.366793832 >>366788553 (OP) # extremes. let me give you my knowledge. >be me >be 16 >go to htx (STEM gymnasium) >a lot of autists there >be put in a GF (grundforløbet not girlfriend you virgins) for the first 3 months before choosing a select study path >end up choosing mathematics on high level, physics on high level and machine- and electronics technology on high level turnsoutonlyautistschoosethat.png >be put in a class of 25 students >get to know everyone in the class pretty well by end of first year >when going out of gymnasium, and doing the student parade thing (studenterkørelse, danish thing), our truck was decorated with a purposefully wrong equation and a swastika. >many got the ss bolts in their studenterhue (another danish thing) of the figures I know the class consisted of the following: >one communist >twenty four radical danish nationalists is it a surprise that our class was also 100% boys, with a female drop out rate of 100%. by the end of year 3, 2 guys where diagnosed autists, 3 asprgers, and 7 further where heavily (unironically) suspended.

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Anon is a poet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso ) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 #
: Anonymous (ID: miuDQCso ) 12/08/19(Sun)10:02:09 No.235544335 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder w---- while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing "Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even 122 KB JPG though I'm 44" "Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 44" Chance of offspring: nevermore >>235544846 # >>235545117 # >>235546408 # >>235547541 # >>235548662 # >>235552925 # >>235557647 # >>235557957 #

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For science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my hole and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG | Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of 1.3 MB JPG you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. OHOLE IS ON FIRE IT ING HURTS. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels feels
: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)21:23:06 No.51034759 I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my hole and now it's currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it's fully melted. 28 KB JPG | Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)22:28:14 No.51035749 OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here's how I'll describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of 1.3 MB JPG you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I sat up I realized I was in trouble. Some of the butter got on my mattress. I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn't happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there's butter everywhere in the bathroom. I wasn't expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY Probably because of the salt. I'm on the verge of crying, this could absolutely become a form of torture. OHOLE IS ON FIRE IT ING HURTS. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I'm spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something. The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my super soft. Downside: it's IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I'm going to have to take a shower. I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels feels

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Femanon met a broke dude | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/18(Sat)08:02:24 No.759492502 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to kfc >sounds good to me 8 KB JPG >he uses his 20% staff discount >ask can i use his discount >"sorry, anon. i would.. but i can only get 3 meals discounted per day" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/10/18(Sat)08:02:24 No.759492502 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy on tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to kfc >sounds good to me 8 KB JPG >he uses his 20% staff discount >ask can i use his discount >"sorry, anon. i would.. but i can only get 3 meals discounted per day" >mfw

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Anon violates a DNR | /r/Greentext

3h (2/6 3:44) · 163471672 3 Replies >2019 >outside shoveling snow >look across the street and see my neighbor lying on his back in the middle of his driveway >go over to help him up, the guy isn't breathing and I can't feel a pulse >oh_shit.iso >call 911 and do chest compressions until he finally starts doing some horrible agonal breathing >after like 15 minutes, an ambulance arrives and takes the guy to the hospital >finish shoveling the guy's driveway for him >he apparently had a DNR order >he tried taking me to court, but l'm not a medical professional or even trained to do CPR >now he harasses me and makes a ton of noise all day long >he has had 2 DUI's since then I should've let him die.
3h (2/6 3:44) · 163471672 3 Replies >2019 >outside shoveling snow >look across the street and see my neighbor lying on his back in the middle of his driveway >go over to help him up, the guy isn't breathing and I can't feel a pulse >oh_shit.iso >call 911 and do chest compressions until he finally starts doing some horrible agonal breathing >after like 15 minutes, an ambulance arrives and takes the guy to the hospital >finish shoveling the guy's driveway for him >he apparently had a DNR order >he tried taking me to court, but l'm not a medical professional or even trained to do CPR >now he harasses me and makes a ton of noise all day long >he has had 2 DUI's since then I should've let him die.

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Anon blows himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep
Anonymous 10/02/15(Fri)20:17:24 No.644454419 File: 1438873902563.jpg (31 KB, 505x479) >>644455296 >be 7 >think b------- involve actual blowing >can't blow self >get idea >blow up balloon and stretch it over my d--- as fast as possible >mom walks in >panic and let go of balloon >d--- is out and balloon is flying around the room >can only hear the sound of judgement and farts >balloon hits her face >leaves >cry myself to sleep

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Anon is the devil | /r/Greentext

1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.
1537264774886.jpg 11 KB JPG >Order fries with no salt, causing the staff to cook a new batch >Put on salt myself Everything in this world is part of my game.

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Anon high school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP)_# >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being called a racist 39 KB JPG >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP)_# >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being called a racist 39 KB JPG >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw

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