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anon tries online dating | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age
Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age

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This post is irradiated. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? Here's mine. 12 11 10 3- 8 4. 5:00 AM - Rise 6 5. 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep
: Anonymous Daily Routine 12/13/21(Mon)14:39:20 No.64733831 What is your daily routine look like? Here's mine. 12 11 10 3- 8 4. 5:00 AM - Rise 6 5. 5:02 AM - Piss 5:30 AM - Finish pissing and brush teeth with activated charcoal (not 60 KB JPG toothpaste) 5:33 AM - Cold Shower (below freezing temp) 5:33 AM - Step out of shower and shake body like a dog 5:34 AM - Arrive at gym and ingest 700 mg caffeine and eat whole chicken (alive) 5:45 AM - Lift (full body, 40 Sets of 2 half-reps) 7:30 AM - Send a Bomb Threat to a Orphanage 8:00 AM - Clock into shift at my job (the gym) 8:10 AM - Ignore customers and lift (full body, 40 sets of 2 half-reps) 9:55 AM - Clock out of work 10:00 AM - Bomb Orphanage 10:15 AM - Arrive home and speed read Dr. Seuss books 5:00 PM - Dinner (green tea and a pack of cigarettes) 5:30 PM - Listen to ASMR and edge for three hours 8:30 PM - Play chess against the man that lives in my walls 9:00 PM - F--- bitches (several) 12:00 AM - Go for a midnight run (chasing women) 1:00 AM - Edge for 3 hours 4:00 AM - Boiling hot shower 4:55 AM - Sleep

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anon’s dad is a coomer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)16:43:22 No.21142640 >mom has long black hair >wants to try something new >cuts it to chin length >"hey mom you look good with this new style" >"aw thanks, son, your dad said the same, he said now I look like Dylan Ryder, is she an actress or celeb?" >"yeah...she is an actress" >mom asks me to download a movie with this Dylan Ryder in it because she is now interested what the f---, dad
Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)16:43:22 No.21142640 >mom has long black hair >wants to try something new >cuts it to chin length >"hey mom you look good with this new style" >"aw thanks, son, your dad said the same, he said now I look like Dylan Ryder, is she an actress or celeb?" >"yeah...she is an actress" >mom asks me to download a movie with this Dylan Ryder in it because she is now interested what the f---, dad

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Anon please | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)12:48:08 No.165102742 >see real gore >feel absolutely nothing >see movie gore >get squeamish Am I genuinely retarded? 102 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)12:50:40 No.165102787 Please have sex
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)12:48:08 No.165102742 >see real gore >feel absolutely nothing >see movie gore >get squeamish Am I genuinely retarded? 102 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)12:50:40 No.165102787 Please have sex

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thatonesubwheretheguy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys
: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft 38 KB PNG >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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anon makes a new friend | /r/Greentext

>go to store >cat passes by me on the road >meows at me >he just said "hi" :) O Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)16:16:57 No.1174743 >be cat >on way home to my wife and kittens >some fatass blocks the side-walk >yell "ON YOUR LEFT, FATSO!" >he smiles at me like a retard man, I gotta get my family out of this town
>go to store >cat passes by me on the road >meows at me >he just said "hi" :) O Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)16:16:57 No.1174743 >be cat >on way home to my wife and kittens >some fatass blocks the side-walk >yell "ON YOUR LEFT, FATSO!" >he smiles at me like a retard man, I gotta get my family out of this town

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Anon meets Bug Bro. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.
: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.

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Anon goes for a piss | /r/Greentext

Degenerates BTFO degenerates f----- by the law. >be me >high school >first year >did not know what is what because What is th cure for such disorders? Beatings. new 107.4 kB PNG >go to bathroom to piss >it is the bathroom by the gym >almost no one ever goes there >cool I can piss in peace >group of black students in there >they are trying to sell me drugs >say: naw I am good my man >take big piss >leave >at lunch table with pals later that day >say: dude did you know you can get drugs in the gym shitroom? >friend who is a second year says yeah everyone knows about that >l say oh, cool >zero f---- given >one day I have to piss on my way to next class >gym bathroom is closest >go to piss >same guys as before >whatever >after done pissing they start threatening me, one has a knife visible >tell me not to come here anymore >I think to myself f--- that I will piss here if I want it is convenient >wait exactly one week (do not want anyone to suspect me) >report them to police anonymously from school pay phone >the police show up and arrest them all >apparently one of them was not even a student but an adult >he had the knife on him when they got arrested >never see them at the school ever again >l piss in peace in my own private bathroom now do not stand between a man(teen) and his piss break 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Degenerates BTFO degenerates f----- by the law. >be me >high school >first year >did not know what is what because What is th cure for such disorders? Beatings. new 107.4 kB PNG >go to bathroom to piss >it is the bathroom by the gym >almost no one ever goes there >cool I can piss in peace >group of black students in there >they are trying to sell me drugs >say: naw I am good my man >take big piss >leave >at lunch table with pals later that day >say: dude did you know you can get drugs in the gym shitroom? >friend who is a second year says yeah everyone knows about that >l say oh, cool >zero f---- given >one day I have to piss on my way to next class >gym bathroom is closest >go to piss >same guys as before >whatever >after done pissing they start threatening me, one has a knife visible >tell me not to come here anymore >I think to myself f--- that I will piss here if I want it is convenient >wait exactly one week (do not want anyone to suspect me) >report them to police anonymously from school pay phone >the police show up and arrest them all >apparently one of them was not even a student but an adult >he had the knife on him when they got arrested >never see them at the school ever again >l piss in peace in my own private bathroom now do not stand between a man(teen) and his piss break 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon dislikes nose rings. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)01:50:24 No.67775292 >See a pretty woman >I like her >Look closely >She has this cow ring on her nose >lt's over Why do all women look like this now? 21 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)01:50:24 No.67775292 >See a pretty woman >I like her >Look closely >She has this cow ring on her nose >lt's over Why do all women look like this now? 21 KB JPG

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Anon is unlucky | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)16:44:42 No.50212024 >one shot in life >born a virgin they don't really care about us, do they?
O Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)16:44:42 No.50212024 >one shot in life >born a virgin they don't really care about us, do they?

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/Fit/zen refuses to lose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her I'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her I'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror

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Anon is chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)19:08:10 No.50321793 my realization >be me >slightly autistic >in high school, hanging out with Asian friend after lunch >cute girl who's friends with him comes up to give him a hug >l barely know this girl but jokingly say 26 KB JPG "hey were's MY hug?" >she smiles and hugs me >I hug her back >mfw l've been Chad all along
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)19:08:10 No.50321793 my realization >be me >slightly autistic >in high school, hanging out with Asian friend after lunch >cute girl who's friends with him comes up to give him a hug >l barely know this girl but jokingly say 26 KB JPG "hey were's MY hug?" >she smiles and hugs me >I hug her back >mfw l've been Chad all along

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Floaters are ghosts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:57:19 No.870984116 IMG_20220119_225458.jpg| 354 KB JPG >beat millions of other sperms in the race to the egg >their ghosts torment you as you live the life they should've had Was it worth it anon?
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:57:19 No.870984116 IMG_20220119_225458.jpg| 354 KB JPG >beat millions of other sperms in the race to the egg >their ghosts torment you as you live the life they should've had Was it worth it anon?

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Anon is in a silent voice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/04/18(Sun)08:24:30 No.784034683 >be me >wanting to die >sell all my stuff >give it all to mom >decided to visit the deaf girl I bullied relentlessly as a child 32 KB JPG >She is cute AF >l don't want to die anymore
: Anonymous 11/04/18(Sun)08:24:30 No.784034683 >be me >wanting to die >sell all my stuff >give it all to mom >decided to visit the deaf girl I bullied relentlessly as a child 32 KB JPG >She is cute AF >l don't want to die anymore

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Anon gets his tamale | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed) >be me, 13 >having a bad day at school >tamales for lunch today >l ask how much it is to buy it >lunch lady says its 2 dollars >I have the money >She says she'll pay for it >she insists >l get my tamale >thank you lunch lady
Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed) >be me, 13 >having a bad day at school >tamales for lunch today >l ask how much it is to buy it >lunch lady says its 2 dollars >I have the money >She says she'll pay for it >she insists >l get my tamale >thank you lunch lady

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Anon dislikes the UK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:27:49 No.341311539 What the f--- is wrong with people? There is a literal island made of garbage out there in the sea. 260 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:28:10 No.341311591 oops wrong pic 94 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:27:49 No.341311539 What the f--- is wrong with people? There is a literal island made of garbage out there in the sea. 260 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:28:10 No.341311591 oops wrong pic 94 KB PNG

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Anon hears a rumor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789716562 24 min. ago .. F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it 9.1 kB JPG >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw
Anonymous | 789716562 24 min. ago .. F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it 9.1 kB JPG >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw

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Anon has a little sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.47266749 >have cute little sis >really really cute >sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together >we share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night reverything happy >suddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day >she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me >it works >sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit her again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses >alright, I'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >l say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too >l raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >l always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her >she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot >I told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself >she says she wants to play vidya with me >and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again. I just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots
: Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.47266749 >have cute little sis >really really cute >sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together >we share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night reverything happy >suddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day >she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me >it works >sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit her again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses >alright, I'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >l say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too >l raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >l always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her >she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot >I told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself >she says she wants to play vidya with me >and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again. I just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG >are u a grass
: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG >are u a grass

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Anon gets the good succ | /r/Greentext

f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner.jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog
f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner.jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog

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