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Anon meets Bug Bro. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.
: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.

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Anon goes for a piss | /r/Greentext

Degenerates BTFO degenerates f----- by the law. >be me >high school >first year >did not know what is what because What is th cure for such disorders? Beatings. new 107.4 kB PNG >go to bathroom to piss >it is the bathroom by the gym >almost no one ever goes there >cool I can piss in peace >group of black students in there >they are trying to sell me drugs >say: naw I am good my man >take big piss >leave >at lunch table with pals later that day >say: dude did you know you can get drugs in the gym shitroom? >friend who is a second year says yeah everyone knows about that >l say oh, cool >zero f---- given >one day I have to piss on my way to next class >gym bathroom is closest >go to piss >same guys as before >whatever >after done pissing they start threatening me, one has a knife visible >tell me not to come here anymore >I think to myself f--- that I will piss here if I want it is convenient >wait exactly one week (do not want anyone to suspect me) >report them to police anonymously from school pay phone >the police show up and arrest them all >apparently one of them was not even a student but an adult >he had the knife on him when they got arrested >never see them at the school ever again >l piss in peace in my own private bathroom now do not stand between a man(teen) and his piss break 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Degenerates BTFO degenerates f----- by the law. >be me >high school >first year >did not know what is what because What is th cure for such disorders? Beatings. new 107.4 kB PNG >go to bathroom to piss >it is the bathroom by the gym >almost no one ever goes there >cool I can piss in peace >group of black students in there >they are trying to sell me drugs >say: naw I am good my man >take big piss >leave >at lunch table with pals later that day >say: dude did you know you can get drugs in the gym shitroom? >friend who is a second year says yeah everyone knows about that >l say oh, cool >zero f---- given >one day I have to piss on my way to next class >gym bathroom is closest >go to piss >same guys as before >whatever >after done pissing they start threatening me, one has a knife visible >tell me not to come here anymore >I think to myself f--- that I will piss here if I want it is convenient >wait exactly one week (do not want anyone to suspect me) >report them to police anonymously from school pay phone >the police show up and arrest them all >apparently one of them was not even a student but an adult >he had the knife on him when they got arrested >never see them at the school ever again >l piss in peace in my own private bathroom now do not stand between a man(teen) and his piss break 2 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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Anon dislikes nose rings. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)01:50:24 No.67775292 >See a pretty woman >I like her >Look closely >She has this cow ring on her nose >lt's over Why do all women look like this now? 21 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)01:50:24 No.67775292 >See a pretty woman >I like her >Look closely >She has this cow ring on her nose >lt's over Why do all women look like this now? 21 KB JPG

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Anon is unlucky | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)16:44:42 No.50212024 >one shot in life >born a virgin they don't really care about us, do they?
O Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)16:44:42 No.50212024 >one shot in life >born a virgin they don't really care about us, do they?

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/Fit/zen refuses to lose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her I'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her I'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror

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Anon is chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)19:08:10 No.50321793 my realization >be me >slightly autistic >in high school, hanging out with Asian friend after lunch >cute girl who's friends with him comes up to give him a hug >l barely know this girl but jokingly say 26 KB JPG "hey were's MY hug?" >she smiles and hugs me >I hug her back >mfw l've been Chad all along
: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)19:08:10 No.50321793 my realization >be me >slightly autistic >in high school, hanging out with Asian friend after lunch >cute girl who's friends with him comes up to give him a hug >l barely know this girl but jokingly say 26 KB JPG "hey were's MY hug?" >she smiles and hugs me >I hug her back >mfw l've been Chad all along

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Floaters are ghosts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:57:19 No.870984116 IMG_20220119_225458.jpg| 354 KB JPG >beat millions of other sperms in the race to the egg >their ghosts torment you as you live the life they should've had Was it worth it anon?
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:57:19 No.870984116 IMG_20220119_225458.jpg| 354 KB JPG >beat millions of other sperms in the race to the egg >their ghosts torment you as you live the life they should've had Was it worth it anon?

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Anon is in a silent voice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/04/18(Sun)08:24:30 No.784034683 >be me >wanting to die >sell all my stuff >give it all to mom >decided to visit the deaf girl I bullied relentlessly as a child 32 KB JPG >She is cute AF >l don't want to die anymore
: Anonymous 11/04/18(Sun)08:24:30 No.784034683 >be me >wanting to die >sell all my stuff >give it all to mom >decided to visit the deaf girl I bullied relentlessly as a child 32 KB JPG >She is cute AF >l don't want to die anymore

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Anon gets his tamale | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed) >be me, 13 >having a bad day at school >tamales for lunch today >l ask how much it is to buy it >lunch lady says its 2 dollars >I have the money >She says she'll pay for it >she insists >l get my tamale >thank you lunch lady
Anonymous 01/09/19(Wed) >be me, 13 >having a bad day at school >tamales for lunch today >l ask how much it is to buy it >lunch lady says its 2 dollars >I have the money >She says she'll pay for it >she insists >l get my tamale >thank you lunch lady

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Anon dislikes the UK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:27:49 No.341311539 What the f--- is wrong with people? There is a literal island made of garbage out there in the sea. 260 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:28:10 No.341311591 oops wrong pic 94 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:27:49 No.341311539 What the f--- is wrong with people? There is a literal island made of garbage out there in the sea. 260 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: MNUC8ZRW ) E 09/29/21(Wed)02:28:10 No.341311591 oops wrong pic 94 KB PNG

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Anon hears a rumor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 789716562 24 min. ago .. F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it 9.1 kB JPG >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw
Anonymous | 789716562 24 min. ago .. F--- off this is my first shot at this. >be me >today >hear people talk about some girl from a nearby highschool >apparently she posted her getting f----- by a dog >call bs on it 9.1 kB JPG >several people at my table show me the video >quite a thorough job >she goes at about every angle, showing the mad lad's red rocket >apparently killed herself after it spread >mfw

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Anon has a little sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.47266749 >have cute little sis >really really cute >sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together >we share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night reverything happy >suddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day >she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me >it works >sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit her again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses >alright, I'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >l say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too >l raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >l always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her >she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot >I told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself >she says she wants to play vidya with me >and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again. I just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots
: Anonymous 08/03/18(Fri)20:49:16 No.47266749 >have cute little sis >really really cute >sadly I only see her at weekends due to troubled family >whenever I'm with her I pat her head and we play vidya together >we share the room so we play 87 KB JPG vidya all night reverything happy >suddenly old grumpy grandma shows up >she doesn't like that she spends so much time with me >she doesn't like that we share the room and play vidya all day >she talks badly about me to her and tries to make her hate me >it works >sis suddenly doesn't want to be that close to me >so I stop going >after months of knowing nothing of her I visit her again just because I was nearby >she changed, she seems more serious and looks unhappy >she doesn't want to talk about it >I start playing vidya and tell her to join me >she refuses >alright, I'll play for a bit and then I'm ready to go >she stops me >she asks me if I don't like her anymore >l say I do like her a lot and always will as she's my cute little sis >she hugs me >with tears in her eyes she tells me that she loves me >l tell her I do too >l raise my hand to pat her >she raises her head a bit so I can pat her >l always thought she didn't like me petting her, but she did >she tells me that grandma told her she was weird for playing with me and that really upsettec her >she tells me that it didn't seem weird to her and that she missed me a lot >I told her stop believing everything people told to her and to think for herself >she says she wants to play vidya with me >and so we do Now I visit her every weekend again and we play vidya all night long like we always did, we are taking turns beating the Mega Man X games and I'm really happy again, and she looks really happy again. I just wanted to tell this to someone, but I don't have anyone else, thanks for reading robots

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG >are u a grass
: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG >are u a grass

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Anon gets the good succ | /r/Greentext

f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner.jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog
f------ hell /b/ros, this just happened yesterday. >be me >go to best bros house >we be having a good time, getting high, watching crazy s--- on the tele >s--- was so cash >he says hes got to go to the store for more munchies >ok bro >he leaves >be alone watching tv >his bitch walks out of his bedroom >l say hello and she looks at me and nods >lol, she never was much of a talker >ask her how her day was > rough" >yeah, I know that feel girl >shes just awkwardly staring at me now >pat on the seat next to me and invite her to sit down >she comes over and sits >we are watching some s--- on like comedy central or whatever >she doesn't seem too interested >she rests her head on my lap >boner.jpeg >start stroking her hair >she likes it >she looks up at me with dem puppy-dog eyes >it was f------ adorable >my boner is now reaching full potential >she sees it and stares at it >l unzip my pants and take out my d--- >she starts licking it >she was kinda sloppy, but still good >about to c-- >friend comes back in from store >mfw he sees me getting sucked off by his dog

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Anon’s dad smells him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu)21:43:46 No.797728278 A little problem I ran into the other night >be me >go on walk after dinner for a quick smoke >forgot to bring any sort of air freshener so I wouldn't stink up the house >Walk in the house still smelling like weed 7 KB PNG >walk upstairs to my room >j------- >finish before dad bursts in my room asking why the house smells like weed >"LET ME SMELL YOUR HANDS ANON." >scent from my weed had by this time been replaced by the smell of my c-- >dad takes one sniff >gags >walks out and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night >mfw
: Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu)21:43:46 No.797728278 A little problem I ran into the other night >be me >go on walk after dinner for a quick smoke >forgot to bring any sort of air freshener so I wouldn't stink up the house >Walk in the house still smelling like weed 7 KB PNG >walk upstairs to my room >j------- >finish before dad bursts in my room asking why the house smells like weed >"LET ME SMELL YOUR HANDS ANON." >scent from my weed had by this time been replaced by the smell of my c-- >dad takes one sniff >gags >walks out and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night >mfw

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Anon doesn’t realise bananas don’t grow in Ukraine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)01:02:47 No.52379841 >did they secure banan? >no? >send the next wave 260 KB PNG >>52382124 # >>52382160 # >>52385734 # >>52388621 #
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)01:02:47 No.52379841 >did they secure banan? >no? >send the next wave 260 KB PNG >>52382124 # >>52382160 # >>52385734 # >>52388621 #

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Anon’s friend is a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.874372800 >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's 115 KB JPG obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face Worth it
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.874372800 >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's 115 KB JPG obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face Worth it

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Anon discovers he is Jewish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous God's Chosen People 03/13/22(Sun)21:57:59 No.67770204 Well folks. I'm afraid it's over for me. A DNA test has revealed the bitter truth--I am Jewish. And it's not just that I have a bit of Jewish DNA. I am considered fully Jewish according to the law of matrilineal descent. Many of my cousins are Jewish and some of my ancestors died in 76 KB PNG the holocaust. The ironic thing is that both my grandma and mother are hardcore Baptists. Now that I know about this part of myself, some things are starting to make sense. I got blondish hair and blue eyes from my dad, but my nose is unironically bigger than it should be. What should I do? I want to stay on 4chan but I completely understand why you guys hate jews. If I must go, I will.
: Anonymous God's Chosen People 03/13/22(Sun)21:57:59 No.67770204 Well folks. I'm afraid it's over for me. A DNA test has revealed the bitter truth--I am Jewish. And it's not just that I have a bit of Jewish DNA. I am considered fully Jewish according to the law of matrilineal descent. Many of my cousins are Jewish and some of my ancestors died in 76 KB PNG the holocaust. The ironic thing is that both my grandma and mother are hardcore Baptists. Now that I know about this part of myself, some things are starting to make sense. I got blondish hair and blue eyes from my dad, but my nose is unironically bigger than it should be. What should I do? I want to stay on 4chan but I completely understand why you guys hate jews. If I must go, I will.

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Anon reincarnated as a rice farmer | /r/Greentext

: Schizophrenic You die and wake up 03/13/22(Sun)23:40:48 No.67770006 > You finally die > you wake up >you are on a weird table with a helmet on your head with wires coming out >year is 3077 > 2 guys are standing near you 73 КВ PNG >there's a 3rd guy standing behind a glass with lots of buttons on a panel > you remember you are a spy and got caught and these people are torturing you for information >one of them says "had enough? or you wanna go through that again" >2nd guy says "and this time you'll spawn in a 3rd world country" >tfw you realize that your life wasn't real, it was just torture.
: Schizophrenic You die and wake up 03/13/22(Sun)23:40:48 No.67770006 > You finally die > you wake up >you are on a weird table with a helmet on your head with wires coming out >year is 3077 > 2 guys are standing near you 73 КВ PNG >there's a 3rd guy standing behind a glass with lots of buttons on a panel > you remember you are a spy and got caught and these people are torturing you for information >one of them says "had enough? or you wanna go through that again" >2nd guy says "and this time you'll spawn in a 3rd world country" >tfw you realize that your life wasn't real, it was just torture.

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Anon hunts with his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)09:56:59 No.777677271 >be me >around 9 years old >dad loves hunting, wants to take me >I don't like the idea of killing animals, but I don't want my dad to think I'm a little bitch so I reluctantly 33 KB JPG go >set the trap, put some scented food in it >small doe comes up, have my sight lined up, ready to pull the trigger >feel instant regret even before killling the animal >turn to my dad >"Dad, I'm sorry but I really don't want to take this animal's life" >That's okay son, why don't you just keep setting up the traps, you're really good at it >continue to set traps >we do this every couple of months for years, I set the traps, he takes the shots >recently entered a trap setting contest in my local hunter union >won >mfw l'm a master baiter
: Anonymous 08/20/18(Mon)09:56:59 No.777677271 >be me >around 9 years old >dad loves hunting, wants to take me >I don't like the idea of killing animals, but I don't want my dad to think I'm a little bitch so I reluctantly 33 KB JPG go >set the trap, put some scented food in it >small doe comes up, have my sight lined up, ready to pull the trigger >feel instant regret even before killling the animal >turn to my dad >"Dad, I'm sorry but I really don't want to take this animal's life" >That's okay son, why don't you just keep setting up the traps, you're really good at it >continue to set traps >we do this every couple of months for years, I set the traps, he takes the shots >recently entered a trap setting contest in my local hunter union >won >mfw l'm a master baiter

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