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Anon is blind | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >4901425 >>4901509 >>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 File: fregg jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)14:02:29 No.4902454 >4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 2 >>4901415 >>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" ". a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled frog and feels'" "W-wha. what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"
O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 >4901425 >>4901509 >>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 File: fregg jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. O Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)14:02:29 No.4902454 >4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 2 >>4901415 >>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" ". a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled frog and feels'" "W-wha. what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"

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Anon gets special ed :) | /r/Greentext


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Anon has daddy issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)22:59:32 No.874513872 >be my father >shove religion down my children's throats >talk about God constantly >drag them to church constantly >always yell and get angry at them 15 KB JPG >beat my children with a closed fist >take out second mortgage when my wife isn't paying attention to buy a sweet car and loose our home >cheat on my wife with her best friend >steal $30,000 from my wife (all the money to her name) to buy failing hotdog shop which only nets $6-7 a day in profit >gaslight her that divorce is a sin when she files for it >threaten to kill her boyfriend after a year of being divorced >propose to every woman I date >marry one after 2 weeks of dating >listen to her when she says I should abandon my children >dissappear from their lives forever >miss my first and probably only grandchilds birth and never meet her >miss my oldest sons wedding >miss raising my daughter altogether >miss her graduating highschool and college >write family a letter about how terrible they are in the eyes of God and how they all abandoned me as their father even though I peaced out first chance i got without even so much as a goodbye >call the police on my son when he writes threatening letter back in response F--- you, Dad. I hope you die alone and scared you f----- ass coward.
: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)22:59:32 No.874513872 >be my father >shove religion down my children's throats >talk about God constantly >drag them to church constantly >always yell and get angry at them 15 KB JPG >beat my children with a closed fist >take out second mortgage when my wife isn't paying attention to buy a sweet car and loose our home >cheat on my wife with her best friend >steal $30,000 from my wife (all the money to her name) to buy failing hotdog shop which only nets $6-7 a day in profit >gaslight her that divorce is a sin when she files for it >threaten to kill her boyfriend after a year of being divorced >propose to every woman I date >marry one after 2 weeks of dating >listen to her when she says I should abandon my children >dissappear from their lives forever >miss my first and probably only grandchilds birth and never meet her >miss my oldest sons wedding >miss raising my daughter altogether >miss her graduating highschool and college >write family a letter about how terrible they are in the eyes of God and how they all abandoned me as their father even though I peaced out first chance i got without even so much as a goodbye >call the police on my son when he writes threatening letter back in response F--- you, Dad. I hope you die alone and scared you f----- ass coward.

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Anon works as a phone salesman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)15:11:46 No.849659169 >be me >work as a phone salesman >95% of calls are old peope >nobody ever actually buys anything >get paid per time spent in calls >most old people are lonely and 110 КВ PNG just want to talk >talk to old people about how they water their plants for hours >basically everyone at my job just talks to old people for 12 hours a day >even have regular callers that know us by names >supposed to advertise products but i actually just talk to grandma Lauren every day for 8 hours about how she used to live back in the day >she appears to forget what she said, repeats the same thing 10s of times. >my job is basically to register when Lauren made a pause in her speech and say "Very interesting, keep going"

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Anon plays Fortnite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)23:49:54 No.790492379 >be me >been playing fortnite all day >need to s--- but too into game >decide to s--- myself just this once >done >feeling ashamed >storm closing in 28 KB JPG >hear mom coming towards my room >panic.exe >reach into my underwear and pull out the s---.. Try to throw it behind the bed to hide evidence >s--- hits wall and lands on my bed >she was already standing on the doorway and saw everything
: Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)23:49:54 No.790492379 >be me >been playing fortnite all day >need to s--- but too into game >decide to s--- myself just this once >done >feeling ashamed >storm closing in 28 KB JPG >hear mom coming towards my room >panic.exe >reach into my underwear and pull out the s---.. Try to throw it behind the bed to hide evidence >s--- hits wall and lands on my bed >she was already standing on the doorway and saw everything

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Anon gets his rocks off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5YGD0+cg 02/24/22(Thu)00:03:11 No.362779921 Does anyone feel some sort of excitement for WW3? i would enter the war just so I can r--- foreign p---- 251 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: (kHxhvb4G 02/24/22(Thu)00:04:06 No.362780226 >>362779921 (OP)_# >foreign p---- all p---- is foreign to you >>362780640 # >>362780815 # >>362783620 # >>362784227 #
: Anonymous (ID: 5YGD0+cg 02/24/22(Thu)00:03:11 No.362779921 Does anyone feel some sort of excitement for WW3? i would enter the war just so I can r--- foreign p---- 251 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: (kHxhvb4G 02/24/22(Thu)00:04:06 No.362780226 >>362779921 (OP)_# >foreign p---- all p---- is foreign to you >>362780640 # >>362780815 # >>362783620 # >>362784227 #

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

5 Re · 0 Img · JPG 47KB · (793 × 786) 1 Reply >be me >work at dollar tree >new girl just got a job there >8/10 Asian girl >we work our shifts together >we get along great >we exchange numbers and make plans to hangout outside of work >she calls me for the first time >I answer and instinctively say >"moshi moshi" >she says "umm you know I'm not Japanese right" >l say "yeah sorry I just watch a lot of anime" >there is a brief silence and I panicked and said "and before you say anything I'm not fetishizing you because you're Asian" >immediately I realize how autistic I am and say "yeah..I have to go and l'll see you tomorrow" and hang up How f----- am l? Is there anyway to salvage this? Tomorrow we our on shift together l'm scared she is going to either be p----- at me or ignore me. I f----- everything up
5 Re · 0 Img · JPG 47KB · (793 × 786) 1 Reply >be me >work at dollar tree >new girl just got a job there >8/10 Asian girl >we work our shifts together >we get along great >we exchange numbers and make plans to hangout outside of work >she calls me for the first time >I answer and instinctively say >"moshi moshi" >she says "umm you know I'm not Japanese right" >l say "yeah sorry I just watch a lot of anime" >there is a brief silence and I panicked and said "and before you say anything I'm not fetishizing you because you're Asian" >immediately I realize how autistic I am and say "yeah..I have to go and l'll see you tomorrow" and hang up How f----- am l? Is there anyway to salvage this? Tomorrow we our on shift together l'm scared she is going to either be p----- at me or ignore me. I f----- everything up

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Anon likes minecraft | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezeltt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >l decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >l take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >l call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. 155,5 kB PNG REPLY
Anonymous | 45657137 1 perccel ezeltt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >l decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >l take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >l call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. 155,5 kB PNG REPLY

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Anon doesn't sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)15:51:37 No.67779985 >mom happy to see me awake at 9:00 >she doesn't know I never went to sleep 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)15:51:37 No.67779985 >mom happy to see me awake at 9:00 >she doesn't know I never went to sleep 62 KB JPG

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Anon shoots kids | /r/Greentext


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Anon has big sad | /r/Greentext

: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left
: Walrus !!pND+/6DSKL+ 08/11/18(Sat)10:19:46 No.47435677 >about to commit suicide >helium tank and gas mask assembly complete >equip mask >turn on tank 29 KB PNG >sit down in chair >close eyes >Dad opens door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!?" >take off mask >prepare the most dramatic heartfelt speech I can muster >deep breath >forget there is helium in my lungs >the words "you'll never know the pain I've been through" come out like an Alvin and the chipmunks special >mfw he died laughing and left

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Anon is a military expert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.7185664 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/03/19(Tue)00:12:03 No.7185664 >Literally have a general named France Holder >Don't use him to hold France God, Hitler was a dumbass 40 KB JPG

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Anon wakes up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)21:43:14 No.850171706 >wake up >check phone >accidently open camera >see face >day ruined anyone else know this feel?
Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)21:43:14 No.850171706 >wake up >check phone >accidently open camera >see face >day ruined anyone else know this feel?

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Anon wants to suicide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/19(Fri)20:46:58 No.790932821 >be me >"depressed" 12 year old >decide i want to kill myself >family planning to go to the beach >prepare my final plan >get to beach 23 KB JPG >go inside water >scream "goodbye forever" >throw AA battery into the sea >mfw still alive >everybody laughing at me for being retarded >mfw I'm probably retarded
: Anonymous 01/25/19(Fri)20:46:58 No.790932821 >be me >"depressed" 12 year old >decide i want to kill myself >family planning to go to the beach >prepare my final plan >get to beach 23 KB JPG >go inside water >scream "goodbye forever" >throw AA battery into the sea >mfw still alive >everybody laughing at me for being retarded >mfw I'm probably retarded

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We live in a society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)08:30:34 No.67792418 >go to mcdonalds >the cashier laughs while bringing my order Why do i even try. 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)08:30:34 No.67792418 >go to mcdonalds >the cashier laughs while bringing my order Why do i even try. 48 KB JPG

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7000 members and now I'm officially 1 ton | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG

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India superpower 2020 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:26:14 No.161360930 OSINT OSINT Updates @OsintUpdates uroTes #Breaking: Indian Oil Corporation buys 3 Million Barrels Russian Crude Oil at a discount of 20-25%. Payment in Rupees on delivery. 7:10 AM - Mar 15, 2022 · Twitter for Android 1,535 Retweets 126 Quote Tweets 7,036 Likes 28 KB PNG Hey kid, want a discount on that oil? Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:30:13 No.161361029 >>161360930 (OP) >tfw india is now an unironic superpower trading in non-dollar denominated oil Anonymous [l 03/15/22(Tue)03:29:07 No.161361003 >>161360930 (OP) Based bussines savy sirs.
Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:26:14 No.161360930 OSINT OSINT Updates @OsintUpdates uroTes #Breaking: Indian Oil Corporation buys 3 Million Barrels Russian Crude Oil at a discount of 20-25%. Payment in Rupees on delivery. 7:10 AM - Mar 15, 2022 · Twitter for Android 1,535 Retweets 126 Quote Tweets 7,036 Likes 28 KB PNG Hey kid, want a discount on that oil? Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:30:13 No.161361029 >>161360930 (OP) >tfw india is now an unironic superpower trading in non-dollar denominated oil Anonymous [l 03/15/22(Tue)03:29:07 No.161361003 >>161360930 (OP) Based bussines savy sirs.

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Anon has day to himself | /r/Greentext

File: R14kkDj.png (13 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:22:25 No.874457180 >Be me >Feel that old familiar shooting pain >Heart attack approcahes >White-knuckle the sides of my desk and begin to scream while waiting for the existential flames of Hell to violently rip me from my mortal coil >Wife staring at me from the couch mouth wide >Never sucks my d--- though >Misjudged the cause, loudly s--- my pants and coat the wall, chair, and floor >Kids run downstairs >2 vomit and pass out >Wife begins to weep and squeaks something about visiting her parents >Takes the kids and bolts out the door >Sit there in my excrement and howl FINALLY A SUNDAY TO MYSELF
File: R14kkDj.png (13 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 03/15/22(Tue)03:22:25 No.874457180 >Be me >Feel that old familiar shooting pain >Heart attack approcahes >White-knuckle the sides of my desk and begin to scream while waiting for the existential flames of Hell to violently rip me from my mortal coil >Wife staring at me from the couch mouth wide >Never sucks my d--- though >Misjudged the cause, loudly s--- my pants and coat the wall, chair, and floor >Kids run downstairs >2 vomit and pass out >Wife begins to weep and squeaks something about visiting her parents >Takes the kids and bolts out the door >Sit there in my excrement and howl FINALLY A SUNDAY TO MYSELF

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no uAnon calls out reddit. | /r/Greentext


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The door to peace is right there for him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B 05/05/18(Sat)11:34:32 No.45161608 >be atheist raised protestant >go to catholic church every saturday for confession >mostly just as an excuse to talk to someone since my therapist told me i shouldn't call the suicide 806 KB PNG hotline for chit chat >confess to being a lazy NEET >priest tells me people change all the time >even a murderer can turn around and be good >mfw the random priest has faith in me
: Anonymous B 05/05/18(Sat)11:34:32 No.45161608 >be atheist raised protestant >go to catholic church every saturday for confession >mostly just as an excuse to talk to someone since my therapist told me i shouldn't call the suicide 806 KB PNG hotline for chit chat >confess to being a lazy NEET >priest tells me people change all the time >even a murderer can turn around and be good >mfw the random priest has faith in me

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