Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

anon writes sad poem about dog | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 796561859 4 hr. ago >13 years >ever since I got you you were always with me >as a pup you would run around while tripping over everything >you would sneak under the table to catch the ball I threw you >you would always be happy and wag your tail smacking it all over the place >you would go into my room to steal my stuff just so you could get a treat by bringing it to me >you would make me mad by jumping on the counter and eating the big stake I made for myself >you would make me happy by cuddling with me on the couch >you would make me sad by getting old >13 years since I got you, and now you 65.0 kB JPG go away
Anonymous | 796561859 4 hr. ago >13 years >ever since I got you you were always with me >as a pup you would run around while tripping over everything >you would sneak under the table to catch the ball I threw you >you would always be happy and wag your tail smacking it all over the place >you would go into my room to steal my stuff just so you could get a treat by bringing it to me >you would make me mad by jumping on the counter and eating the big stake I made for myself >you would make me happy by cuddling with me on the couch >you would make me sad by getting old >13 years since I got you, and now you 65.0 kB JPG go away

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext carnivore

Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)21:45:41 No.47881800 >walk out of restaurant >see cat >it walks towards me >pet cat >happy thank you parking lot kitty 10 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)21:45:41 No.47881800 >walk out of restaurant >see cat >it walks towards me >pet cat >happy thank you parking lot kitty 10 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font gesture happy

See you later virgins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)23:38:26 No.67501076 >be me 5 years ago >buying a bed at store >store owner asks whats wrong with the old one >told her I was jumping on the bed 40 KB JPG >she gets flustered and changes the subject >just now realised "jumping on the bed" is a euphemism for sex >she thought i was having sex >was actually just jumping on the bed
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)23:38:26 No.67501076 >be me 5 years ago >buying a bed at store >store owner asks whats wrong with the old one >told her I was jumping on the bed 40 KB JPG >she gets flustered and changes the subject >just now realised "jumping on the bed" is a euphemism for sex >she thought i was having sex >was actually just jumping on the bed

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw font happy eyelash

Anon is a massive tf2 fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)12:29:19 No.874585074 >be me >be fan of tf2 >love sniper >have figurine and body pillow >gotta smash >match with girl on tinder >whatasexysheila.mp3 >chat her up, eventually convince her to come to the 21 KB JPG sniper den >realizing on the way to my room >ohfuck.png >I left all my tf2 s--- out in the open >too late >she comes inside my room >sees my jarate >sees my body pillow I forgot to hide >sees my figurine >sees posters of commissioned art of sniper >sees hl2.exe open >looks at me with unbridled disgust >oh god what do >tard panick >flick her on the head with my finger >whisper under my breath >"boom headshawt" I haven't heard back from her since.
: Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)12:29:19 No.874585074 >be me >be fan of tf2 >love sniper >have figurine and body pillow >gotta smash >match with girl on tinder >whatasexysheila.mp3 >chat her up, eventually convince her to come to the 21 KB JPG sniper den >realizing on the way to my room >ohfuck.png >I left all my tf2 s--- out in the open >too late >she comes inside my room >sees my jarate >sees my body pillow I forgot to hide >sees my figurine >sees posters of commissioned art of sniper >sees hl2.exe open >looks at me with unbridled disgust >oh god what do >tard panick >flick her on the head with my finger >whisper under my breath >"boom headshawt" I haven't heard back from her since.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Looks like we're doing something right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/19(Sun)18:57:58 No.807454171 >be me > bored loser looking on internet for funny memes > go on /b/ > cartoon trans squirrel s------- on cartoon trans horse >scroll down 59 KB PNG > ratemydick.jpg >scroll down > animaltorture.mp4 >f--- this > go on reddit >be redditfag > read funny greentexts >mfw r/greentexts is better than /b/
: Anonymous 08/18/19(Sun)18:57:58 No.807454171 >be me > bored loser looking on internet for funny memes > go on /b/ > cartoon trans squirrel s------- on cartoon trans horse >scroll down 59 KB PNG > ratemydick.jpg >scroll down > animaltorture.mp4 >f--- this > go on reddit >be redditfag > read funny greentexts >mfw r/greentexts is better than /b/

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

czech chad pm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 > be czech pm > head of government > send tweet after dinna > "LMAO, off with ma budz from Poland and Slovenia to see our boi Zelensky 131 KB JPG > goes AWOL for night > "this fake. cant be true" > morning > mfs show up in bombarded Kyiv without any security guarantees from Russian side > "we wanna show u that u not alone in this" > Zelenskyy happy af > Ukrainians happy af > leaves
: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 > be czech pm > head of government > send tweet after dinna > "LMAO, off with ma budz from Poland and Slovenia to see our boi Zelensky 131 KB JPG > goes AWOL for night > "this fake. cant be true" > morning > mfs show up in bombarded Kyiv without any security guarantees from Russian side > "we wanna show u that u not alone in this" > Zelenskyy happy af > Ukrainians happy af > leaves

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vision care smile

Anon is sarcastic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and l'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that l'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday
: Anonymous 04/24/21(Sat)00:53:44 No.852792905 >be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and l'm bored as s--- >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the 19 KB JPG guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that l'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Anon gets his hair washed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)01:18:21 No.49471737 >moaned while the nice haircut lady washed my hair 8 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)01:18:21 No.49471737 >moaned while the nice haircut lady washed my hair 8 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product organism goggles font

Anon had no choice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/18(Sat)20:03:26 No.78112196C >be me >still inside my mom because fetus >I get fed through the umbilical cord >part of what mom eats is my food >mom sucks dads d--- and swallows >c-- goes into umbilical cord >l eat my dads c-- 312 KB PNG >mfw l'm a f-----
: Anonymous 09/29/18(Sat)20:03:26 No.78112196C >be me >still inside my mom because fetus >I get fed through the umbilical cord >part of what mom eats is my food >mom sucks dads d--- and swallows >c-- goes into umbilical cord >l eat my dads c-- 312 KB PNG >mfw l'm a f-----

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font terrestrial plant

Anon does an IQ test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778151892 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)17:02:31 No.778151892 >friend sends me iq test >okay ill do it > finish test and get 75 iq >i cant show this to my friend >i do the test again knowing answers >get 73 >mfw 59 KB PNG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism true frog font terrestrial plant

Anon has constipation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 - >>88111638 >>88111677 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"
Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 - >>88111638 >>88111677 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)21:58:53 No.785666165 >be me >find out the inside of your cheek is made of the same tissue as a vagina >lick it >technically licking a vagina 30 KB JPG >later virgins
: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)21:58:53 No.785666165 >be me >find out the inside of your cheek is made of the same tissue as a vagina >lick it >technically licking a vagina 30 KB JPG >later virgins

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font happy

Anon and his mysterious brother | /r/Greentext

8:00 87% >be me >have an older brother who was always the black sheep of the family >didn't do well in school, always getting into trouble and s--- >still look up to him because he's my big bro >he barely manages to graduate high school and immediately leaves home after turning 18, none of us know where he went >it's a traumatic experience for me, almost like he's dead >manage to pull through it and get on with my life >fast forward a few years >going to university, studying linguistics >up late one night when I get a call from a number I don't recognize >"Hello?" >hear my brother's voice >"Hey man, uhh.." >he sounds drunk as s--- >"really quick, do the people in Brazil speak Spanish?" >"N-no, they speak Portuguese." >"He said it's Portuguese I f------ told you retards" >hear several angry, drunk voices arguing in the background >"Thanks bro" >he hangs up >try to call the number back but it goes straight to voicemail It's been almost 10 years since he left home and that was the only time l've spoken to him since then. I miss you bro
8:00 87% >be me >have an older brother who was always the black sheep of the family >didn't do well in school, always getting into trouble and s--- >still look up to him because he's my big bro >he barely manages to graduate high school and immediately leaves home after turning 18, none of us know where he went >it's a traumatic experience for me, almost like he's dead >manage to pull through it and get on with my life >fast forward a few years >going to university, studying linguistics >up late one night when I get a call from a number I don't recognize >"Hello?" >hear my brother's voice >"Hey man, uhh.." >he sounds drunk as s--- >"really quick, do the people in Brazil speak Spanish?" >"N-no, they speak Portuguese." >"He said it's Portuguese I f------ told you retards" >hear several angry, drunk voices arguing in the background >"Thanks bro" >he hangs up >try to call the number back but it goes straight to voicemail It's been almost 10 years since he left home and that was the only time l've spoken to him since then. I miss you bro

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Thank you Allah, very cool! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext happy terrestrial plant font

Anon thinks about humans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?
: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant font

Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me
: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

anon can sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread
: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism gesture font

Anon has a positive view on women | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you
O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon doesn't know the secret method to keep a fart silent. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus
: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product organism gesture font cartoon screenshot