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Anon watches movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey..Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #
: Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:07 No.132843276 03BFC167-6DBE-43ED-A53E-F7614ECDD2BA.jpg 24 KB JPG >"Rey..Rey Skywalker" Absolute garbage. I left the theater after I heard it : Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:18:02 No.132843321 >>132843276 (OP) # Ye no s--- that's when the movie ended >>132843340 # >>132843556 # >>132844401 #

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Anon gets his girlfriend to quit Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/17(Sat)19:10:20 No.40102936 >girlfriend uses reddit >she makes posts on anti trump subs, hates on incels >create an account and post on the_donald for a few months >eventually start sending her threatening messages 44 KB JPG >tell her she's going to be r---- if she doesn't shut up, call her by her first name too >gets anxious and cries after reading every message I send >talk her out of getting police involved, say it's best to ignore it >she stops using reddit I solved that annoying problem. It's hell to have to look at the dumb s--- she wants to show me on there.
: Anonymous 09/30/17(Sat)19:10:20 No.40102936 >girlfriend uses reddit >she makes posts on anti trump subs, hates on incels >create an account and post on the_donald for a few months >eventually start sending her threatening messages 44 KB JPG >tell her she's going to be r---- if she doesn't shut up, call her by her first name too >gets anxious and cries after reading every message I send >talk her out of getting police involved, say it's best to ignore it >she stops using reddit I solved that annoying problem. It's hell to have to look at the dumb s--- she wants to show me on there.

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Anon is 30 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri) 11:20:56 No.67830922 >2022 >getting fatter >hairline receding >7 months left I turn 30 >getting more demotivated >getting more depressed >drinking everyday doesn't help 70 KB JPG anymore >gaming doesn't help anymore Any oldfags care to share how did you make it without killing yourself I'm just so very tired
: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri) 11:20:56 No.67830922 >2022 >getting fatter >hairline receding >7 months left I turn 30 >getting more demotivated >getting more depressed >drinking everyday doesn't help 70 KB JPG anymore >gaming doesn't help anymore Any oldfags care to share how did you make it without killing yourself I'm just so very tired

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Anon dies at Pompeii | /r/Greentext

Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois
Embracing figures at Pompeii 'could have been gay lovers', after scan reveals they are both men >be me >drinking wine with best bro >served 10 years in army together >saved my life once >named my son after the guy >mountain f------ explodes >find house and hide for shelter >give each other one last bro hug >ash burys us both >1900 years later get found >lol gay bois

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anon is ready | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon" STARECAT.COM
Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon" STARECAT.COM

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Anon is drugged | /r/Greentext

>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube ~25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"
>>35574459 # reminds me >get wisdom teeth removed >go home high as s--- >get on the computer >go to youtube >really want to listen to Led Zeppelin (I don't even listen to them regularly) >keep typing in Led Zeppelin but nothing Led Zeppelin-related is coming up >get mad >go to bed >sleep for like 12 hours. >wake up >go to delete my browsing history like I usually do >"loop zoop" searched on youtube ~25 times >I thought I was typing in "Led Zeppelin"

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Anon be 17 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)23:27:51 No.753574540 >be 17 >be chatting in group chat with friends >be sending some memes >accidently send a meme to mom >shieeet.jpeg >explain to mom 58 KB PNG >mom sends a rare pepe >allmywut.jpeg >turns out mom knows alot about good memes >now we send memes to eachother almost daily >never been happier all my life >pic related
: Anonymous 12/11/17(Mon)23:27:51 No.753574540 >be 17 >be chatting in group chat with friends >be sending some memes >accidently send a meme to mom >shieeet.jpeg >explain to mom 58 KB PNG >mom sends a rare pepe >allmywut.jpeg >turns out mom knows alot about good memes >now we send memes to eachother almost daily >never been happier all my life >pic related

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)14:19:55 No.67832324 >find out husband is cheating on me >tell him I want a divorce >he says we should just stay together since we're both in our 50's and he can just break up with his mistress 9 KB JPG So what? that means I can cheat on him with whoever just because "Old people don't get divorces"?
: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)14:19:55 No.67832324 >find out husband is cheating on me >tell him I want a divorce >he says we should just stay together since we're both in our 50's and he can just break up with his mistress 9 KB JPG So what? that means I can cheat on him with whoever just because "Old people don't get divorces"?

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Anon works in animal rehabilitation | /r/Greentext

File: nn5kj1GRxK1tu78sco1_250.jpg (15 KB, 250x250) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:51:02 No.853461298 >work with exotic animal rehabilitation >mostly former "pets" that either should never have been kept inside a house, or became problem animals because of mistreatment "This thing is evil, it attacks people for no reason." >he lashes in self-defense because your insecure handling scares him "It keeps destroying everything in my house." >Does he have any chew toys? >meet a girl with green hair, an 8/10 who's clever and funny >she paints props for this local theater, really down to earth despite of literally working in drama "I hate the kind of women who are like 'If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best'. I'm a f------ s--- show at my worst and nobody deserves to deal with that." >been dating for 7 months when I see her first bad episode, she texts me out of the blue saying she's leaving me because I should be with someone better >Go to her place to see if she's at least physically OK. >by the time I get her to calm down she's crying and begging me to take her back as if I was the one who left. >she's back to her own bubbly, wonderful self once she's cried it out, gotten food and thoroughly dicked down >learn to pick up on the warning signs before she does, herself >get her some kind of a nice treat if I notice she hasn't been eating >she's always falling in love with a new project she'll probably give up halfway, if she hasn't done that for a while it's time to take her out to try something new >we've been together for 3 years, she hasn't had an episode for a year, and only relapsed once because of quarantine >l don't think she knows I still check her for cuts, but she hasn't self-harmed in years >recently she got into her head to write a cook book, I told her that's a wonderful idea and gave a few suggestions from the ideas >it probably won't be finished but she's happily typing and humming along to her music >safe environment, appropriate nutrition, secure handling and proper enrichment It's not rocket science.
File: nn5kj1GRxK1tu78sco1_250.jpg (15 KB, 250x250) O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)14:51:02 No.853461298 >work with exotic animal rehabilitation >mostly former "pets" that either should never have been kept inside a house, or became problem animals because of mistreatment "This thing is evil, it attacks people for no reason." >he lashes in self-defense because your insecure handling scares him "It keeps destroying everything in my house." >Does he have any chew toys? >meet a girl with green hair, an 8/10 who's clever and funny >she paints props for this local theater, really down to earth despite of literally working in drama "I hate the kind of women who are like 'If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best'. I'm a f------ s--- show at my worst and nobody deserves to deal with that." >been dating for 7 months when I see her first bad episode, she texts me out of the blue saying she's leaving me because I should be with someone better >Go to her place to see if she's at least physically OK. >by the time I get her to calm down she's crying and begging me to take her back as if I was the one who left. >she's back to her own bubbly, wonderful self once she's cried it out, gotten food and thoroughly dicked down >learn to pick up on the warning signs before she does, herself >get her some kind of a nice treat if I notice she hasn't been eating >she's always falling in love with a new project she'll probably give up halfway, if she hasn't done that for a while it's time to take her out to try something new >we've been together for 3 years, she hasn't had an episode for a year, and only relapsed once because of quarantine >l don't think she knows I still check her for cuts, but she hasn't self-harmed in years >recently she got into her head to write a cook book, I told her that's a wonderful idea and gave a few suggestions from the ideas >it probably won't be finished but she's happily typing and humming along to her music >safe environment, appropriate nutrition, secure handling and proper enrichment It's not rocket science.

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no poop knife | /r/Greentext

10m · 108385835 JPG 14KB (250 x 238) >go to the toilet in someones house >no poop knife
10m · 108385835 JPG 14KB (250 x 238) >go to the toilet in someones house >no poop knife

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Anon talks about a puzzle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SImnRWOh 10/02/21(Sat)22:47:33 No.341853162 Tilt-turn-windows-arrows-700x311.jpg 25 KB JPG This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American : Anonymous (ID: JDRDIna6 10/02/21(Sat)22:48:29 No.341853252
: Anonymous (ID: SImnRWOh 10/02/21(Sat)22:47:33 No.341853162 Tilt-turn-windows-arrows-700x311.jpg 25 KB JPG This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American : Anonymous (ID: JDRDIna6 10/02/21(Sat)22:48:29 No.341853252

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Anon doesn't understand strip clubs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)23:19:15 No.66821940 Whats the appeal of strip clubs >cant touch >cant sit there with your d--- out and masturbate EMIERTHELANME >Just have to stare awkwardly as some random girl shows her ass to you and 10 other dudes 1.32 MB JPG Maybe im just uncultured but why would I ever want to do this instead of literally anything else thatll get my rocks off
: Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)23:19:15 No.66821940 Whats the appeal of strip clubs >cant touch >cant sit there with your d--- out and masturbate EMIERTHELANME >Just have to stare awkwardly as some random girl shows her ass to you and 10 other dudes 1.32 MB JPG Maybe im just uncultured but why would I ever want to do this instead of literally anything else thatll get my rocks off

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Anon almost knows his birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri) 12:48:41 No.874657735 >be me >starting new job >in elevator chit chatting with HR lady >birthdays get brought up >"so Anon, when is your birthday?" >my birthday is late April but my retarded brain decides to round to 291 KB JPG the nearest month >"May" >couple seconds of silence >"my sons birthday is in May, maybe you two have the same birthday, what day is it?" >"I'm sorry but my birthday is actually April 28th" pic kinda related, it's the Mayflower
: Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri) 12:48:41 No.874657735 >be me >starting new job >in elevator chit chatting with HR lady >birthdays get brought up >"so Anon, when is your birthday?" >my birthday is late April but my retarded brain decides to round to 291 KB JPG the nearest month >"May" >couple seconds of silence >"my sons birthday is in May, maybe you two have the same birthday, what day is it?" >"I'm sorry but my birthday is actually April 28th" pic kinda related, it's the Mayflower

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Anon just being an anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.874372800 >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's obvious his wife cheated 115 KB JPG >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face Worth it
: Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.874372800 >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's obvious his wife cheated 115 KB JPG >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face Worth it

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Anon's neighbor works for the goverment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/18(Thu)18:39:53 No.784405312 >be me >in Virginia >home owner >new neighbors arrived next door >a Chad and a Stacy, both of them are married 63 KB JPG >we introduced each other >the Chad is obsessed with the American culture (he even raised his own American flag) >the Stacy is just the average housewife (chores and stuff) >had dinner >Chad was looking forward to work for the government >l jokingly asked him if he is going to set up NSA cameras around the neighborhood >laughter.wav >after dinner, I went back to my house to sleep >ffw next morning >woke up to this Chad bellowing a tune around town >this happens every. f------. morning. >even on weekends Don't believe me? Here are the first lines I remembered listening to him sing: "Good morning, USA! I have a feeling that it's going to be a wonderful day!"
: Anonymous 11/08/18(Thu)18:39:53 No.784405312 >be me >in Virginia >home owner >new neighbors arrived next door >a Chad and a Stacy, both of them are married 63 KB JPG >we introduced each other >the Chad is obsessed with the American culture (he even raised his own American flag) >the Stacy is just the average housewife (chores and stuff) >had dinner >Chad was looking forward to work for the government >l jokingly asked him if he is going to set up NSA cameras around the neighborhood >laughter.wav >after dinner, I went back to my house to sleep >ffw next morning >woke up to this Chad bellowing a tune around town >this happens every. f------. morning. >even on weekends Don't believe me? Here are the first lines I remembered listening to him sing: "Good morning, USA! I have a feeling that it's going to be a wonderful day!"

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Anon trolls | /r/Greentext

Iface_non-free.png 2 (81 KB, 347x288) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:31:17 No.861259167 >play vidya >enemy top player named TTVHannahxxxSong >check out their channel >some post-op t----- with more chemicals than a bigmac >start spamming you will never be a real woman >they breakdown on stream >stream turns off >enemy has disconnected Problem? Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:41:34 No.861259736 >861259167 (OP) based Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:59:38 No.861260654 1623760576923.png (18 KB, 250x241) google yandex iqdb wait >>861259167 (OP) >your account has been suspended
Iface_non-free.png 2 (81 KB, 347x288) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:31:17 No.861259167 >play vidya >enemy top player named TTVHannahxxxSong >check out their channel >some post-op t----- with more chemicals than a bigmac >start spamming you will never be a real woman >they breakdown on stream >stream turns off >enemy has disconnected Problem? Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:41:34 No.861259736 >861259167 (OP) based Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:59:38 No.861260654 1623760576923.png (18 KB, 250x241) google yandex iqdb wait >>861259167 (OP) >your account has been suspended

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anon drops the soap | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)22:24:38 No.874626589 >>874626670 >>874626829 >>874627331 There is no real argument why the age of consent shouldn't be lowered to 8. Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)22:25:59 No.874626670 >>874628107 >>874626589 (OP) There is no real reason why Jamal won't get 8 inches in your a------ when you go to prison.
O Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)22:24:38 No.874626589 >>874626670 >>874626829 >>874627331 There is no real argument why the age of consent shouldn't be lowered to 8. Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)22:25:59 No.874626670 >>874628107 >>874626589 (OP) There is no real reason why Jamal won't get 8 inches in your a------ when you go to prison.

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anon’s grandpa was a gamer | /r/Greentext

>be German-American >granpops dies at the age of 97 >know he came to the States after WWII or something like that >throwing out most of s--- with no emotional value from his house >find a box in the attic >it's full of old books and pictures >young lad pops posing with soldiers >they dressed like the bad guys from Wolfenstein 3D >there is a pic with young pops shaking hands with a dude who looks like the final boss Wolf3D he even has the same moustache just how awesome it is, grandpa was a proto-gamer and knew the devs and was part of a cosplay group who dressed up as the enemies and the final boss, he even had a walkthrough guide named the final solution, I wonder why he never told me about this
>be German-American >granpops dies at the age of 97 >know he came to the States after WWII or something like that >throwing out most of s--- with no emotional value from his house >find a box in the attic >it's full of old books and pictures >young lad pops posing with soldiers >they dressed like the bad guys from Wolfenstein 3D >there is a pic with young pops shaking hands with a dude who looks like the final boss Wolf3D he even has the same moustache just how awesome it is, grandpa was a proto-gamer and knew the devs and was part of a cosplay group who dressed up as the enemies and the final boss, he even had a walkthrough guide named the final solution, I wonder why he never told me about this

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What's the next step of your master plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)11:13:32 No.66035008 >family treats and act like I'm retarded >sick of this so I plan on proving I'm not >spend the next two years putting plan into action >walk up one day >realize I can't remember the next 319 KB JPG step of plan >realize doing constant cosplay doesn't prove l'm not retarded >family now treats me like a cross dressing retarded retard. I think I might actually be f------ dumb.
: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)11:13:32 No.66035008 >family treats and act like I'm retarded >sick of this so I plan on proving I'm not >spend the next two years putting plan into action >walk up one day >realize I can't remember the next 319 KB JPG step of plan >realize doing constant cosplay doesn't prove l'm not retarded >family now treats me like a cross dressing retarded retard. I think I might actually be f------ dumb.

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Anon loses immersion. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)09:33:32 No.67831951 >be me >watching vr p--- to get more immersed >girls says "your d--- is huge" in awe >immersion ruined 473 KB PNG
Anonymous 03/18/22(Fri)09:33:32 No.67831951 >be me >watching vr p--- to get more immersed >girls says "your d--- is huge" in awe >immersion ruined 473 KB PNG

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