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Anon listens to Green Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #

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Anon has no friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:10:59 No.875002737 2135648451.jpg 74 KB JPG >Be me >Lonely guy >Heard that having a pet can lower the likelihood of blowing your brains out >Building only allows cats >Start reading and watching videos about cats >Seem pretty cool >Go to Humane Society >Meet this really awesome cat named Jupiter >Read his bio online >Has been at shelter for 2 years because he's afraid of people and always runs and hides when people come to adopt cats >But he came right up to me >Rubbed up against my leg, let me pet him. >l picked him up and he was purring like crazy >Held him like a baby >The staff are literally crying, they've never seen him be so calm and friendly >Obviously I need to take this cat home >Ask them what the adoption process is like >Tell me there's a home visit, they need approval from my landlord, etc. >Give me an application to fill out. >"List the names and phone numbers of two non-blood relatives for references" >Ask what that is. >Tell me that it's just for character references >"Just put down a couple of your friends" she tells me >Not thinking, I blurt out, "But I don't have any friends." >Gives me a weird look >"You must have acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, someone who knows you." >Can't think of anyone who would vouch for me >But know a ton of people who would say I'm a bad person just to f--- with me >Tell her I don't know of anyone >She takes the application from me >"Maybe you're not the kind of person who should be adopting then." >Was about to protest, but why? She's right. >"Tell Jupiter l'm sorry," I say as I leave. >Decide I will never look at the humane society website again. >Tell myself that five seconds after I left, a nice, happy, well- adjusted person came in and adopted Jupiter and gave him a great home. >That's the story I'm going with in my head.
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:10:59 No.875002737 2135648451.jpg 74 KB JPG >Be me >Lonely guy >Heard that having a pet can lower the likelihood of blowing your brains out >Building only allows cats >Start reading and watching videos about cats >Seem pretty cool >Go to Humane Society >Meet this really awesome cat named Jupiter >Read his bio online >Has been at shelter for 2 years because he's afraid of people and always runs and hides when people come to adopt cats >But he came right up to me >Rubbed up against my leg, let me pet him. >l picked him up and he was purring like crazy >Held him like a baby >The staff are literally crying, they've never seen him be so calm and friendly >Obviously I need to take this cat home >Ask them what the adoption process is like >Tell me there's a home visit, they need approval from my landlord, etc. >Give me an application to fill out. >"List the names and phone numbers of two non-blood relatives for references" >Ask what that is. >Tell me that it's just for character references >"Just put down a couple of your friends" she tells me >Not thinking, I blurt out, "But I don't have any friends." >Gives me a weird look >"You must have acquaintances, coworkers, neighbors, someone who knows you." >Can't think of anyone who would vouch for me >But know a ton of people who would say I'm a bad person just to f--- with me >Tell her I don't know of anyone >She takes the application from me >"Maybe you're not the kind of person who should be adopting then." >Was about to protest, but why? She's right. >"Tell Jupiter l'm sorry," I say as I leave. >Decide I will never look at the humane society website again. >Tell myself that five seconds after I left, a nice, happy, well- adjusted person came in and adopted Jupiter and gave him a great home. >That's the story I'm going with in my head.

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Anon's definitely normal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon does martial arts | /r/Greentext

>be me >get work save enough for martial arts training get life back on track >train with woman with dark hair blue eyes militaristic personality >After class have a conversation >Few months go by eventually comes over to my place >Sees half finished monster can >"Breaking the nocturnal habit anon?" >Admits to used having similar life style >First time seeing the personality not there as before >"Anon you have to eat a bowl of eggs" >Confused >Shadows crawl from the walls with boiled eggs in their hands as she fades into those shadow things >"Eat the eggs anon" >Wake up from alarm >Mfw still a neet Not even my type why does my subconscious do this s--- to me
>be me >get work save enough for martial arts training get life back on track >train with woman with dark hair blue eyes militaristic personality >After class have a conversation >Few months go by eventually comes over to my place >Sees half finished monster can >"Breaking the nocturnal habit anon?" >Admits to used having similar life style >First time seeing the personality not there as before >"Anon you have to eat a bowl of eggs" >Confused >Shadows crawl from the walls with boiled eggs in their hands as she fades into those shadow things >"Eat the eggs anon" >Wake up from alarm >Mfw still a neet Not even my type why does my subconscious do this s--- to me

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Anon’s parents are cucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this too >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend 11 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this too >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend 11 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to the local pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)22:42:39 No.67904328 >be me >at the local public pool >chilling in the large jacuzzi with some grannies >a fit guy and his gf comes in >he just dives into it >a few old ladies leave 572 KB PNG >he talks to his girl >"Would be a shame if someone take a piss in here, huh?" >she laughs >now everyone leave the jacuzzi >I'm so stunned by this behavior I don't move >after 3 minutes he leaves saying he's bored Is it the closest encounter I've had with a sigma male? >>67904610 #
: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)22:42:39 No.67904328 >be me >at the local public pool >chilling in the large jacuzzi with some grannies >a fit guy and his gf comes in >he just dives into it >a few old ladies leave 572 KB PNG >he talks to his girl >"Would be a shame if someone take a piss in here, huh?" >she laughs >now everyone leave the jacuzzi >I'm so stunned by this behavior I don't move >after 3 minutes he leaves saying he's bored Is it the closest encounter I've had with a sigma male? >>67904610 #

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

>My political beliefs? Depends on who lI'm trolling
>My political beliefs? Depends on who lI'm trolling

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired
: Anonymous 09/28/20(Mon)19:46:16 No.60244419 >Be me >16 >Having a part time job at a local supermarket >Emo girl pulls up to the check out I'm at with a normal load of groceries 1024 KB JPG >Notice the cuts on her arm >Get my scanner gun and scan her arm >Manager sees this and I immediately get fired

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Anon farts | /r/Greentext

You think you f------ no embarrassing? Bring it on. >be about 9-10 years old >little cousin is sleeping in bed. (He's at my house.) >think it'd be funny to fart on his head. >pull down my pants and lower my ass over his face >fart >realize it isn't a fart >liquid s--- pours out of my ass onto his face >he waked up, snorting my s--- up his nose >he vomits EVERYWHERE >i flee the scene like some scat version of The Phantom of the Opera >He runs downstairs crying and gagging >hear mum scream >hide under bed >still s------- myself under the bed. In small quirts >mfw mum found me.
You think you f------ no embarrassing? Bring it on. >be about 9-10 years old >little cousin is sleeping in bed. (He's at my house.) >think it'd be funny to fart on his head. >pull down my pants and lower my ass over his face >fart >realize it isn't a fart >liquid s--- pours out of my ass onto his face >he waked up, snorting my s--- up his nose >he vomits EVERYWHERE >i flee the scene like some scat version of The Phantom of the Opera >He runs downstairs crying and gagging >hear mum scream >hide under bed >still s------- myself under the bed. In small quirts >mfw mum found me.

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You will never be a monk, anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)01:46:23 No.31198339 >be buddhist monk >sit still for a couple days >people think it's impressive I could do that, but unfortunately I have a f------ job and can't afford to sit around all day >>31201120 # >>31201406 #
: Anonymous 03/07/22(Mon)01:46:23 No.31198339 >be buddhist monk >sit still for a couple days >people think it's impressive I could do that, but unfortunately I have a f------ job and can't afford to sit around all day >>31201120 # >>31201406 #

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Team #nofap. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/18(Wed)22:07:41 No.46243068 >get home from school >mom says she got something for me in the backyard >go in backyard >airsoft guns are neatly placed on a table 70 KB JPG >paper targets are spread out throughout the backyard >mom says we can practice shooting in yard >some time later mom tells me to check on the targets to see how well I did >check on targets, notice that there's something behind it >find one of my p--- magazines behind paper target >check the targets, each target had one of my p--- magazines behind it >mom takes the airsoft guns away and makes me throw away my shot up p--- magazines 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 06/20/18(Wed)22:07:41 No.46243068 >get home from school >mom says she got something for me in the backyard >go in backyard >airsoft guns are neatly placed on a table 70 KB JPG >paper targets are spread out throughout the backyard >mom says we can practice shooting in yard >some time later mom tells me to check on the targets to see how well I did >check on targets, notice that there's something behind it >find one of my p--- magazines behind paper target >check the targets, each target had one of my p--- magazines behind it >mom takes the airsoft guns away and makes me throw away my shot up p--- magazines 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon calls out brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 767715027 43 min. ago My step brother is a fat cringy neckbeard, i'm bored as f--- right now so heres some cringe. >Few years ago, both in high school >We make our own anime forum to f--- around with >We get a few members >One "girl" starts posting on our forum >Says shes super in love with step brother >In forum chat, they both are having cyber sex in front of everyone >He didn't realize that i'm an admin and can see IP's 78.1 kB JPG >He was literally logging in as both the girl and himself and was essentially having cyber sex with himself
Anonymous | 767715027 43 min. ago My step brother is a fat cringy neckbeard, i'm bored as f--- right now so heres some cringe. >Few years ago, both in high school >We make our own anime forum to f--- around with >We get a few members >One "girl" starts posting on our forum >Says shes super in love with step brother >In forum chat, they both are having cyber sex in front of everyone >He didn't realize that i'm an admin and can see IP's 78.1 kB JPG >He was literally logging in as both the girl and himself and was essentially having cyber sex with himself

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Unlucky Anon | /r/Greentext

>get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >'ll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG
>get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >'ll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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pervert My sister caught me.... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.
: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.

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Anon lives in the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes 83 KB PNG because they found a way to reproduce without us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown
Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes 83 KB PNG because they found a way to reproduce without us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown

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anon criticizes the writing in japanese games | /r/Greentext

>japanese game >trying to give the main female character a flaw >"DUDE WHAT IF SHE'S LIKE REALLY BAD AT COOKING LMAO?"
>japanese game >trying to give the main female character a flaw >"DUDE WHAT IF SHE'S LIKE REALLY BAD AT COOKING LMAO?"

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kekpacito neiborino | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/15(Thu)23:28:36 No.660650487 Please spread this to save someone from being injured. Some fascists in Germany have placed stickers saying "No Chance For Islam" on lampposts and when you try to remove it, the razor stuck behind it slices up your hand. CRANG CANG KINE CHANCE image jpg 114 KB JPG >>660650773 # >>660651378 # Anonymous : Anonymou 12/31/15(Thu)23:34:40 No.660651378 >>6606501 >>660650487 # All stuffed w German engineering never ceases to amaze me >>660650679 #
: Anonymous 12/31/15(Thu)23:28:36 No.660650487 Please spread this to save someone from being injured. Some fascists in Germany have placed stickers saying "No Chance For Islam" on lampposts and when you try to remove it, the razor stuck behind it slices up your hand. CRANG CANG KINE CHANCE image jpg 114 KB JPG >>660650773 # >>660651378 # Anonymous : Anonymou 12/31/15(Thu)23:34:40 No.660651378 >>6606501 >>660650487 # All stuffed w German engineering never ceases to amaze me >>660650679 #

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Anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext

ENE 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly
ENE 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly

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Anon can smell the hippies. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-01-25 133927.jpg (100 KB, 513x488) O Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)20:39:05 No.874962857 >be me, rocksolid 9/10 sperg >can't have any conversation without pointing out little flaws of spelling, use of words or other things >usually dialouge dies off rather quickly, and people start to avoid me >did that for several years, couldn't figure out why people don't like me, since im correct >ffw to one week ago >big sister drags me to an alternative music festival in the greens >lots of smelly hippies >trippy music echoing everyhwere >probably all of them do drugs >despise them instantly >however, im following my big sis to not get lost in the crowd, also anxious af >sit down in a circle of people around a little bonfire, air smells funny, probably weed >people all talk with each other >try to get into conversation as well >whenever I start correcting them, they simply swap to another conversation >this happens several times in a short time >get deadly annoyed since im clearly superior >sister gives me a bowl with some drink in it >"Are you thirsty anon? drink up." >Drink that stuff, its sweet and i like it >feel very weird all of a sudden >get literally kicked out of my body, everything goes dark >see all sorts of scary stuff, faces, monsters, eyes, incomprehensible patterns >see myself from the outside >start talking to myself >im talking back to myself >I notice im a huge a------ >get into an argument with myself >after a short exchange, go away from myself, can't stand it >wake up at home >no memory whatsoever of what happened after the drink >go down to have breakfast with parents >start noticing stuff I never did before, nuances of their voice, hidden layers of facial expression >suddenly can follow a conversation without the urge to barge in and make it about me thanks smelly hippies, whatever you served me
File: Screenshot 2022-01-25 133927.jpg (100 KB, 513x488) O Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)20:39:05 No.874962857 >be me, rocksolid 9/10 sperg >can't have any conversation without pointing out little flaws of spelling, use of words or other things >usually dialouge dies off rather quickly, and people start to avoid me >did that for several years, couldn't figure out why people don't like me, since im correct >ffw to one week ago >big sister drags me to an alternative music festival in the greens >lots of smelly hippies >trippy music echoing everyhwere >probably all of them do drugs >despise them instantly >however, im following my big sis to not get lost in the crowd, also anxious af >sit down in a circle of people around a little bonfire, air smells funny, probably weed >people all talk with each other >try to get into conversation as well >whenever I start correcting them, they simply swap to another conversation >this happens several times in a short time >get deadly annoyed since im clearly superior >sister gives me a bowl with some drink in it >"Are you thirsty anon? drink up." >Drink that stuff, its sweet and i like it >feel very weird all of a sudden >get literally kicked out of my body, everything goes dark >see all sorts of scary stuff, faces, monsters, eyes, incomprehensible patterns >see myself from the outside >start talking to myself >im talking back to myself >I notice im a huge a------ >get into an argument with myself >after a short exchange, go away from myself, can't stand it >wake up at home >no memory whatsoever of what happened after the drink >go down to have breakfast with parents >start noticing stuff I never did before, nuances of their voice, hidden layers of facial expression >suddenly can follow a conversation without the urge to barge in and make it about me thanks smelly hippies, whatever you served me

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Anon saves a life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread

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