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Anon has an artistic girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)10:14:07 No.875059901 >be me, f------ lowlife >end up finding a girl in one of the trash ditches I frequent >art school dropout with blue-green hair, the type that's cute but can't keep a guy because she's f------ insane >ask her out anyway because l've got low standards 39 KB JPG >she says yes anyway because she's got low standards >get to know each other, she's actually funny and really sweet >says I'm the nicest guy she's ever dated >no f------ s--- most your exes should be in prison and one of them made me change my mind about the death penalty >life's great, sex is great, we move in together >she starts putting her life together, clear out the apartment together >we're both unemployed but she starts making art again >she starts drawing comics about our relationship, she looks like herself but drew me to be hot for some reason too >obviously never draws the bad sides or fights, just the cutesy stuff >she posts them online >they gain traction, people f------ love those grossly sweet relationship comics >she starts a patreon page, gets contacted by a print publisher, her career's picking up >meanwhile I'm still unemployed >living here rent free >mfw she can't ever dump me or she'll lose her job too
: Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)10:14:07 No.875059901 >be me, f------ lowlife >end up finding a girl in one of the trash ditches I frequent >art school dropout with blue-green hair, the type that's cute but can't keep a guy because she's f------ insane >ask her out anyway because l've got low standards 39 KB JPG >she says yes anyway because she's got low standards >get to know each other, she's actually funny and really sweet >says I'm the nicest guy she's ever dated >no f------ s--- most your exes should be in prison and one of them made me change my mind about the death penalty >life's great, sex is great, we move in together >she starts putting her life together, clear out the apartment together >we're both unemployed but she starts making art again >she starts drawing comics about our relationship, she looks like herself but drew me to be hot for some reason too >obviously never draws the bad sides or fights, just the cutesy stuff >she posts them online >they gain traction, people f------ love those grossly sweet relationship comics >she starts a patreon page, gets contacted by a print publisher, her career's picking up >meanwhile I'm still unemployed >living here rent free >mfw she can't ever dump me or she'll lose her job too

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Anon wants to be the cool uncle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)17:52:47 No.67915460 Traumatic Family Stories? THAT'S SCARY I DON'T KNOW >living at home with parents >brother and his family visiting >they have a 5 year old kid >shut in so don't leave my room to talk to them whole time they're visiting >"OK ANON WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE" >uh, I guess I should at least go out and see them off so mom doesn't have another talk with me about being 84 KB PNG antisocial >all standing around the door waiting for them to leave but the actual adults are talking to each other >take a piece of candy from a bowl on the kitchen counter >F--- it, I can be the cool uncle, I'll give a piece to the kid >kid really happy, feels good >kids happily shows her mom, my Sister in Law >SIL suddenly goes a------ >Screaming at the kid, how she already told them no and how it's wrong to blatantly ignore the rules, theft >really tearing into the kid >they're just blubbering now >"B-BB- BUT I DIDN'T-- A-A ANON IS. IS THE-" >SIL: "STOP! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth tonight" >slowly slink back to room while kid is dragged out crying and they leave I just wanted to be a cool uncle
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)17:52:47 No.67915460 Traumatic Family Stories? THAT'S SCARY I DON'T KNOW >living at home with parents >brother and his family visiting >they have a 5 year old kid >shut in so don't leave my room to talk to them whole time they're visiting >"OK ANON WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE" >uh, I guess I should at least go out and see them off so mom doesn't have another talk with me about being 84 KB PNG antisocial >all standing around the door waiting for them to leave but the actual adults are talking to each other >take a piece of candy from a bowl on the kitchen counter >F--- it, I can be the cool uncle, I'll give a piece to the kid >kid really happy, feels good >kids happily shows her mom, my Sister in Law >SIL suddenly goes a------ >Screaming at the kid, how she already told them no and how it's wrong to blatantly ignore the rules, theft >really tearing into the kid >they're just blubbering now >"B-BB- BUT I DIDN'T-- A-A ANON IS. IS THE-" >SIL: "STOP! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth tonight" >slowly slink back to room while kid is dragged out crying and they leave I just wanted to be a cool uncle

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life's not fair | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago im-offing-myself.jpg (16.8 KB, 320x320) 50570874 Women HATE Thread >be me >working since i was 14 years old >fried burguers, painted wall, did whatever to get ends meet >studied math like a pig >get stupid job as math teacher where students throw s--- at me >make 60 thousand a year >pretend im happy >be belle delphine >be woman >wear make up >learn how to stick tongue out >make 120 thousand a week on Patreon only >will probably be a millionaire in two months Why the f--- is this s--- allowed? I've never been so close to suicide before. This society does not deserve jack. I thought I was a p------------, but now I realize I'm too good for this. I'm out.
Anonymous 1 hour ago im-offing-myself.jpg (16.8 KB, 320x320) 50570874 Women HATE Thread >be me >working since i was 14 years old >fried burguers, painted wall, did whatever to get ends meet >studied math like a pig >get stupid job as math teacher where students throw s--- at me >make 60 thousand a year >pretend im happy >be belle delphine >be woman >wear make up >learn how to stick tongue out >make 120 thousand a week on Patreon only >will probably be a millionaire in two months Why the f--- is this s--- allowed? I've never been so close to suicide before. This society does not deserve jack. I thought I was a p------------, but now I realize I'm too good for this. I'm out.

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anon has his life changed | /r/Greentext

jpg (314 kB, 1920x1200) No.50772233 Anonymous 3 hr. ago How has 4chan changed your life >I just called my mom a n----- 13 replies
jpg (314 kB, 1920x1200) No.50772233 Anonymous 3 hr. ago How has 4chan changed your life >I just called my mom a n----- 13 replies

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2 anons enjoy bathroom time | /r/Greentext

File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? + 6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. * U Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw
File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? + 6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. * U Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw

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Anon grows up to be scamer | /r/Greentext

No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars
No.772995598 06/30/18(Sat)05:29:45 R14kkDj.jpg JPG 35.1 KiB 657x527 >be me >be in 5th grade >class is planning field trip, need money >everyone needs to bring 20 dollars >go home, ask mom for 30 dollars so I can have 10 dollars extra for myself >mom doesn't believe me, goes to friend's house who lives on the same street >ohshit.gif >comes back angry, saying I need to pay more attention in class meetings >tfw I found out my friend told his parents that he needed 50 dollars

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Anons Dad buys a truck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Y8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one' >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >ffw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?
: Anonymous (ID: Y8DE0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one' >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >ffw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

Autism thread? I'll start >be me >see post about guy falcon punching his bully >mario is my favorite 18 KB JPG character in smash >hatch master plan >next day at school >bully comes up to me >"hey fatass! Give me your money" >pull hand sanitizer out if pocket >pull lighter out of other >put sanitizer on hand and light it >yell "ITS A ME, MARIO!" >punch him with the force of a thousand suns >his face gets lit on fire >we both ended up in the hospital with third degree burns Worth it
Autism thread? I'll start >be me >see post about guy falcon punching his bully >mario is my favorite 18 KB JPG character in smash >hatch master plan >next day at school >bully comes up to me >"hey fatass! Give me your money" >pull hand sanitizer out if pocket >pull lighter out of other >put sanitizer on hand and light it >yell "ITS A ME, MARIO!" >punch him with the force of a thousand suns >his face gets lit on fire >we both ended up in the hospital with third degree burns Worth it

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Anon miscalculates | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Not ugly, tall and goofy funny >Known as a class clown >Slightly autistic, diagnosed freshman year 437 KB GIF >Did okay talking to girls because goofy >Mid sophomore year - girl asks for d--- pick >Never sent a nude - instant turbo autism plan goes into affect >Send picture of my d--- in an old stuffed animals mouth I had in closet >Almost in tears laughing I thought it was so funny >Instant block, removed from a couple group chats in minutes to follow Mfw I spend the rest of highschool as the teddy f-----
>Be me >Not ugly, tall and goofy funny >Known as a class clown >Slightly autistic, diagnosed freshman year 437 KB GIF >Did okay talking to girls because goofy >Mid sophomore year - girl asks for d--- pick >Never sent a nude - instant turbo autism plan goes into affect >Send picture of my d--- in an old stuffed animals mouth I had in closet >Almost in tears laughing I thought it was so funny >Instant block, removed from a couple group chats in minutes to follow Mfw I spend the rest of highschool as the teddy f-----

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Anon Pisses Off His Fat Mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)09:07:45 No.66038686 Do what you must, Ihave already won won.jpg 63 KB JPG >has conversation with dad about incels >Dad:"If it weren't for fat chicks, I would have been a virgin for a lot longer" >Me:"I would rather improve myself first than have a fat chick because it lowers your standards like a drug. You get addicted to it and since it's all you got the next thing you know you marry a fat chick" >Mom is in the room >She was the fat girl
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)09:07:45 No.66038686 Do what you must, Ihave already won won.jpg 63 KB JPG >has conversation with dad about incels >Dad:"If it weren't for fat chicks, I would have been a virgin for a lot longer" >Me:"I would rather improve myself first than have a fat chick because it lowers your standards like a drug. You get addicted to it and since it's all you got the next thing you know you marry a fat chick" >Mom is in the room >She was the fat girl

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Certainly. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs I'm sure things will work out
: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs I'm sure things will work out

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Anon understands the English language | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)03:23:28 No.67912150 ► >be me >be on board of directors at a tech startup >have to give a lot of interviews >discover efficient way to weed out the retards >start interview by asking them to pronounce the acronym for graphics interchange format >if they say gif, then continue interview >if they say jif then interview over now f--- off
O Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)03:23:28 No.67912150 ► >be me >be on board of directors at a tech startup >have to give a lot of interviews >discover efficient way to weed out the retards >start interview by asking them to pronounce the acronym for graphics interchange format >if they say gif, then continue interview >if they say jif then interview over now f--- off

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Anon gets divorced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:44:59 No.875040995 >be me >move with wife of 3 years to Poland for work >year goes by and the Russia Ukraine war starts >start helping refugees >we let guy around our age crash at our place while he waits for his family 48 KB JPG to get out and meet with him >wife starts spending time with him showing him around town >they seem to really connect and talk to eachother a lot >think nothing of it and not ask her about it >one day come home from work and catch her In the act >get mad and storm out >next day she files for divorce and kicks me out of the house >been a week and currently living in my buddy's van in outer Warsaw >still have my job but I think my boss is going to fire me now that I don't have a proper address >at this point I have nothing to live for and kind of just want to end it anons what do I do?
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:44:59 No.875040995 >be me >move with wife of 3 years to Poland for work >year goes by and the Russia Ukraine war starts >start helping refugees >we let guy around our age crash at our place while he waits for his family 48 KB JPG to get out and meet with him >wife starts spending time with him showing him around town >they seem to really connect and talk to eachother a lot >think nothing of it and not ask her about it >one day come home from work and catch her In the act >get mad and storm out >next day she files for divorce and kicks me out of the house >been a week and currently living in my buddy's van in outer Warsaw >still have my job but I think my boss is going to fire me now that I don't have a proper address >at this point I have nothing to live for and kind of just want to end it anons what do I do?

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gonna live in brasil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #
: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #

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Stingray squad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/19(Thu)20:08:15 No.108328612 tmp_CfyO12_c21c186208f6b13a_Gettylmages-179833853.jpg 212 KB JPG >Come on mates, you guys don't need to be sitting on that screen looking at girls all day, you can go out there and get your own gorgeous sheila of your own! >>108328656 # >>108332120 # >>108332545 # >>108332632 # >>108332834 # >>108333517 # >>108333879 # >>108334688 # >>108334764 #
: Anonymous 01/10/19(Thu)20:08:15 No.108328612 tmp_CfyO12_c21c186208f6b13a_Gettylmages-179833853.jpg 212 KB JPG >Come on mates, you guys don't need to be sitting on that screen looking at girls all day, you can go out there and get your own gorgeous sheila of your own! >>108328656 # >>108332120 # >>108332545 # >>108332632 # >>108332834 # >>108333517 # >>108333879 # >>108334688 # >>108334764 #

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Anon had a smol cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/22(Mon)05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years 64 KB JPG >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat
: Anonymous 02/21/22(Mon)05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years 64 KB JPG >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat

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Anon hates Turning Red | /r/Greentext

1/6 A6WVFWX (OP) 49m (3/12 19:20) 366873900 172 Re 40 Img PNG 2MB (1906 x 1019) 28 Replies da Girts! My panda, my choice, Mom. >13-year-old literally w----- her body out for money to go see a boy band >this is portrayed as a good thing here is your 2022 Pixar film
1/6 A6WVFWX (OP) 49m (3/12 19:20) 366873900 172 Re 40 Img PNG 2MB (1906 x 1019) 28 Replies da Girts! My panda, my choice, Mom. >13-year-old literally w----- her body out for money to go see a boy band >this is portrayed as a good thing here is your 2022 Pixar film

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Anon sees a psychologist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)20:32:23 No.67917291 >Be younger me >Lose friends because of me being a dumb annoying brat >Act like everything is fine but it really isn't >Lose motivation to do anything >School marks drop so much I was last place from like 360+ people >School worried I might be the first one 140 KB JPG there to actually need to kick out >Teachers call mother everyday because I don't talk with people and I don't do homework >Mother tries her best to send me to psychologist >l refuse every time >After few weeks I was out with my sister to get bus cards >She wants me to meet her friends >Her friends are f------ w----- and I don't want to even think about them >She tells me if I don't go meet them, I must go to the psychiatrist >l go to the psychologist >Psychologist and mom know each other >I talk about how I f----- everything up with friends and what a loser I'm >Session ends >Ask mother what did psyh say because I saw them talk after I was done (She came to pick me up because place was far) >"She said you should stop staying on the computer and go outside more often. Funny, I didn't mention staying on the pc even once. Never going to doctors who know my parents again.
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)20:32:23 No.67917291 >Be younger me >Lose friends because of me being a dumb annoying brat >Act like everything is fine but it really isn't >Lose motivation to do anything >School marks drop so much I was last place from like 360+ people >School worried I might be the first one 140 KB JPG there to actually need to kick out >Teachers call mother everyday because I don't talk with people and I don't do homework >Mother tries her best to send me to psychologist >l refuse every time >After few weeks I was out with my sister to get bus cards >She wants me to meet her friends >Her friends are f------ w----- and I don't want to even think about them >She tells me if I don't go meet them, I must go to the psychiatrist >l go to the psychologist >Psychologist and mom know each other >I talk about how I f----- everything up with friends and what a loser I'm >Session ends >Ask mother what did psyh say because I saw them talk after I was done (She came to pick me up because place was far) >"She said you should stop staying on the computer and go outside more often. Funny, I didn't mention staying on the pc even once. Never going to doctors who know my parents again.

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Anon questions elevators | /r/Greentext

>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon goes to his nightshift. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.
O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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