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Anon Pisses Off His Fat Mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)09:07:45 No.66038686 Do what you must, Ihave already won won.jpg 63 KB JPG >has conversation with dad about incels >Dad:"If it weren't for fat chicks, I would have been a virgin for a lot longer" >Me:"I would rather improve myself first than have a fat chick because it lowers your standards like a drug. You get addicted to it and since it's all you got the next thing you know you marry a fat chick" >Mom is in the room >She was the fat girl
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)09:07:45 No.66038686 Do what you must, Ihave already won won.jpg 63 KB JPG >has conversation with dad about incels >Dad:"If it weren't for fat chicks, I would have been a virgin for a lot longer" >Me:"I would rather improve myself first than have a fat chick because it lowers your standards like a drug. You get addicted to it and since it's all you got the next thing you know you marry a fat chick" >Mom is in the room >She was the fat girl

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Certainly. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs I'm sure things will work out
: Anonymous 01/09/17(Mon)20:06:00 No.78200281 How do I get an Italian MILF gf? 29 KB PNG >>78200328 # >>78200334 # 01/09/17(Mon)20:07:52 No.78200328 89 Anonymous >>78200281 # Just keep posting frogs I'm sure things will work out

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Anon understands the English language | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)03:23:28 No.67912150 ► >be me >be on board of directors at a tech startup >have to give a lot of interviews >discover efficient way to weed out the retards >start interview by asking them to pronounce the acronym for graphics interchange format >if they say gif, then continue interview >if they say jif then interview over now f--- off
O Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)03:23:28 No.67912150 ► >be me >be on board of directors at a tech startup >have to give a lot of interviews >discover efficient way to weed out the retards >start interview by asking them to pronounce the acronym for graphics interchange format >if they say gif, then continue interview >if they say jif then interview over now f--- off

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Anon gets divorced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:44:59 No.875040995 >be me >move with wife of 3 years to Poland for work >year goes by and the Russia Ukraine war starts >start helping refugees >we let guy around our age crash at our place while he waits for his family 48 KB JPG to get out and meet with him >wife starts spending time with him showing him around town >they seem to really connect and talk to eachother a lot >think nothing of it and not ask her about it >one day come home from work and catch her In the act >get mad and storm out >next day she files for divorce and kicks me out of the house >been a week and currently living in my buddy's van in outer Warsaw >still have my job but I think my boss is going to fire me now that I don't have a proper address >at this point I have nothing to live for and kind of just want to end it anons what do I do?
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)19:44:59 No.875040995 >be me >move with wife of 3 years to Poland for work >year goes by and the Russia Ukraine war starts >start helping refugees >we let guy around our age crash at our place while he waits for his family 48 KB JPG to get out and meet with him >wife starts spending time with him showing him around town >they seem to really connect and talk to eachother a lot >think nothing of it and not ask her about it >one day come home from work and catch her In the act >get mad and storm out >next day she files for divorce and kicks me out of the house >been a week and currently living in my buddy's van in outer Warsaw >still have my job but I think my boss is going to fire me now that I don't have a proper address >at this point I have nothing to live for and kind of just want to end it anons what do I do?

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gonna live in brasil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #
: Anonymous O 02/08/21(Mon)18:38:23 No.105952831 FREEFRE unnamed.jpg 93 KB JPG >roided >freefire hoodie >no headlights >riding in the favela >t----- in the backseat Such is the life of the brazilian, am I'm supposed to be envious of the "first-world"? Because l'm not. >>105952861 # >>105952864 # >>105952880 # >>105952920 #

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Stingray squad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/19(Thu)20:08:15 No.108328612 tmp_CfyO12_c21c186208f6b13a_Gettylmages-179833853.jpg 212 KB JPG >Come on mates, you guys don't need to be sitting on that screen looking at girls all day, you can go out there and get your own gorgeous sheila of your own! >>108328656 # >>108332120 # >>108332545 # >>108332632 # >>108332834 # >>108333517 # >>108333879 # >>108334688 # >>108334764 #
: Anonymous 01/10/19(Thu)20:08:15 No.108328612 tmp_CfyO12_c21c186208f6b13a_Gettylmages-179833853.jpg 212 KB JPG >Come on mates, you guys don't need to be sitting on that screen looking at girls all day, you can go out there and get your own gorgeous sheila of your own! >>108328656 # >>108332120 # >>108332545 # >>108332632 # >>108332834 # >>108333517 # >>108333879 # >>108334688 # >>108334764 #

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Anon had a smol cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/22(Mon)05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years 64 KB JPG >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat
: Anonymous 02/21/22(Mon)05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years 64 KB JPG >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat

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Anon hates Turning Red | /r/Greentext

1/6 A6WVFWX (OP) 49m (3/12 19:20) 366873900 172 Re 40 Img PNG 2MB (1906 x 1019) 28 Replies da Girts! My panda, my choice, Mom. >13-year-old literally w----- her body out for money to go see a boy band >this is portrayed as a good thing here is your 2022 Pixar film
1/6 A6WVFWX (OP) 49m (3/12 19:20) 366873900 172 Re 40 Img PNG 2MB (1906 x 1019) 28 Replies da Girts! My panda, my choice, Mom. >13-year-old literally w----- her body out for money to go see a boy band >this is portrayed as a good thing here is your 2022 Pixar film

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Anon sees a psychologist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)20:32:23 No.67917291 >Be younger me >Lose friends because of me being a dumb annoying brat >Act like everything is fine but it really isn't >Lose motivation to do anything >School marks drop so much I was last place from like 360+ people >School worried I might be the first one 140 KB JPG there to actually need to kick out >Teachers call mother everyday because I don't talk with people and I don't do homework >Mother tries her best to send me to psychologist >l refuse every time >After few weeks I was out with my sister to get bus cards >She wants me to meet her friends >Her friends are f------ w----- and I don't want to even think about them >She tells me if I don't go meet them, I must go to the psychiatrist >l go to the psychologist >Psychologist and mom know each other >I talk about how I f----- everything up with friends and what a loser I'm >Session ends >Ask mother what did psyh say because I saw them talk after I was done (She came to pick me up because place was far) >"She said you should stop staying on the computer and go outside more often. Funny, I didn't mention staying on the pc even once. Never going to doctors who know my parents again.
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)20:32:23 No.67917291 >Be younger me >Lose friends because of me being a dumb annoying brat >Act like everything is fine but it really isn't >Lose motivation to do anything >School marks drop so much I was last place from like 360+ people >School worried I might be the first one 140 KB JPG there to actually need to kick out >Teachers call mother everyday because I don't talk with people and I don't do homework >Mother tries her best to send me to psychologist >l refuse every time >After few weeks I was out with my sister to get bus cards >She wants me to meet her friends >Her friends are f------ w----- and I don't want to even think about them >She tells me if I don't go meet them, I must go to the psychiatrist >l go to the psychologist >Psychologist and mom know each other >I talk about how I f----- everything up with friends and what a loser I'm >Session ends >Ask mother what did psyh say because I saw them talk after I was done (She came to pick me up because place was far) >"She said you should stop staying on the computer and go outside more often. Funny, I didn't mention staying on the pc even once. Never going to doctors who know my parents again.

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Anon questions elevators | /r/Greentext

>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
>get in >door closes >???????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon goes to his nightshift. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.
O Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)23:58:13 No.67885913 >>67898104 File: 1585775531499.jpg (61 KB, 249x249) >>67885897 (OP) >be fat f--- >go to nightshift >garage is 500m away >breath heavily >woman flees in terror Feels good man.

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Anon discovers the meaning of lifting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)20:27:48 No.63759172 >be me >get yelled at repeatedly by my 2nd grade teacher >grow up to be a massive dude >get stronger at the gym >see the teacher out in public again 247 KB PNG >she's all nice to me >l yell and berate the s--- out of her and she runs away scared shitless This is why I Ilift
: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)20:27:48 No.63759172 >be me >get yelled at repeatedly by my 2nd grade teacher >grow up to be a massive dude >get stronger at the gym >see the teacher out in public again 247 KB PNG >she's all nice to me >l yell and berate the s--- out of her and she runs away scared shitless This is why I Ilift

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>americans btfo lulAnon lays it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos
: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Anon thinks he is the main Character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)21:13:33 No.149822348 >21 seasons in >main character still has no girlfriend, motivation, or interests besides video games >stays in his room all day shitposting on a basket weaving 126 KB JPG forum What the f--- were the directors thinking?
: Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)21:13:33 No.149822348 >21 seasons in >main character still has no girlfriend, motivation, or interests besides video games >stays in his room all day shitposting on a basket weaving 126 KB JPG forum What the f--- were the directors thinking?

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Anon buys a fish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)15:29:02 No.875009996 > Be me. > Depressed. > Buys a betta fish impulsively. > Puts betta fish in my room. > Cute as f--- betta. > Fish comes to my hand when feeding. > I learn that bettas need to sleep at night. > Stops stying up until late so betta can 11 KB JPG sleep. > Get's healthier and happier cause whenever sad looks at fish and goes "heh, pretty fish". > Completely convinced that my fish is quirky and unique. > Decides to buy a bigger aquarium for him after one year. > Buys another betta fish on the pet store because the other one is also pretty. > Puts the second aquarium next to the first one, far enough so they can't see each other. > Both bettas start swimming synchronized. > What in the f------ matrix.EXE > Takes one f------ whole minute for the matrix o fix the bug. > Guess my fish is not that unique.
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)15:29:02 No.875009996 > Be me. > Depressed. > Buys a betta fish impulsively. > Puts betta fish in my room. > Cute as f--- betta. > Fish comes to my hand when feeding. > I learn that bettas need to sleep at night. > Stops stying up until late so betta can 11 KB JPG sleep. > Get's healthier and happier cause whenever sad looks at fish and goes "heh, pretty fish". > Completely convinced that my fish is quirky and unique. > Decides to buy a bigger aquarium for him after one year. > Buys another betta fish on the pet store because the other one is also pretty. > Puts the second aquarium next to the first one, far enough so they can't see each other. > Both bettas start swimming synchronized. > What in the f------ matrix.EXE > Takes one f------ whole minute for the matrix o fix the bug. > Guess my fish is not that unique.

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Anon lives with a roommate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)12:21:24 No.875004568 >be me >18 >lives with roommate >22 year old brony who got kicked out when his parents found a body pillow >coomer who ignores his real life friends to play with dudes he met on twitch or discord >l convince him to start working out with 31 KB JPG me and get him out of his room >we head to the gym and this is the first time he's worked out sense high school gym class > it does fine, he's skinny and keeps a high metabolism so other than some endurance and zero ability to heavy lift it all goes well >we now go every other day and bought some food designed for bulk workout diets > I wake up earlier than normal to help him make breakfast with the new meal planning >l've never woken up this early sense I work night shift at my job >he is 100% naked and standing in the kitchen >Mfw he tries to hide his d--- with the box granola bars
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)12:21:24 No.875004568 >be me >18 >lives with roommate >22 year old brony who got kicked out when his parents found a body pillow >coomer who ignores his real life friends to play with dudes he met on twitch or discord >l convince him to start working out with 31 KB JPG me and get him out of his room >we head to the gym and this is the first time he's worked out sense high school gym class > it does fine, he's skinny and keeps a high metabolism so other than some endurance and zero ability to heavy lift it all goes well >we now go every other day and bought some food designed for bulk workout diets > I wake up earlier than normal to help him make breakfast with the new meal planning >l've never woken up this early sense I work night shift at my job >he is 100% naked and standing in the kitchen >Mfw he tries to hide his d--- with the box granola bars

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anon misses clue | /r/Greentext

This is my story, /fit/. >in college class >have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum ~20 miles away 49 KB JPG >decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk >cute clerk is standing there >ask for curator >older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork >make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but I made her laugh once or twice >tell curator about my project >he gives me enough information to do a project on >tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curator >for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that >realize what I've done
This is my story, /fit/. >in college class >have to do project that requires me to go to Navy SEAL museum ~20 miles away 49 KB JPG >decide to bring grandpa because he's cool and he wanted to donate an old ammo box >go to front desk >cute clerk is standing there >ask for curator >older guy walks out and my grandpa fills out some paperwork >make small talk with grill, I'm not charming but I made her laugh once or twice >tell curator about my project >he gives me enough information to do a project on >tell him I need someone from the museum to call my professor as proof as I was there >clerk says she could give me her personal number and she could call the professor >decline and say it would look better coming from the curator >for the entire ride home, my grandpa stares at me like pic related >drop him off >think about why he stared at me like that >realize what I've done

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:30:14 No.159019347 the last airbender.png 356 KB PNG >Show up in film industry when nobody was asking for you >Become highest grossing film of all time >Promise a million sequels and deliver zero >Leave >Show up a decade later just to cuck Marvel out of getting highest grossing movie >Leave again >Nobody remembers a single line of dialogue

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Anon is daddy’s little girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)23:56:55 No.874990350 >be me >replaying GTA 5 at the moment >play mission called daddy's little girl >suddenly Instagram group chat erupted with screenshots of my profile saying “playing GTAV- Grand Theft Aito V Daddys Little Girl eat kids O 35,852 Invite Join 216 KB JPG daddy's little girl" >now my group chat is named daddy's little girl I'm f----- aren't i?
: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)23:56:55 No.874990350 >be me >replaying GTA 5 at the moment >play mission called daddy's little girl >suddenly Instagram group chat erupted with screenshots of my profile saying “playing GTAV- Grand Theft Aito V Daddys Little Girl eat kids O 35,852 Invite Join 216 KB JPG daddy's little girl" >now my group chat is named daddy's little girl I'm f----- aren't i?

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Anon listens to Green Day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #
: Anonymous 03/24/22(Thu)11:48:12 No.67912724 >le depressed me 2005 >walking around the school during class hours through the empty halls listening to green day >"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me" 558 KB PNG >"I walk alone" >unironically tear up God, I was so f------ cringe but I was just a dumb kid so I guess it's forgivable. >>67912803 #

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