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Anon has a smoke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)17:31:26 No.790143290 >waiting for bus >crowded bus stop >never smoked but curious >wanna smoke >polire stranger gives me a c-------- >light c-------- with match 6 KB JPG >throw c-------- >puff match He saw
: Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)17:31:26 No.790143290 >waiting for bus >crowded bus stop >never smoked but curious >wanna smoke >polire stranger gives me a c-------- >light c-------- with match 6 KB JPG >throw c-------- >puff match He saw

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ISIS attacks brazil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 07/25/16(Mon)09:22:41 No.62566238 >>62566282 62566312 p62566465 >>62565179 >>62565223 >ISIS decides to attack Brazil >bombers get mugged on the way to the stadium, suicide vests and phone detonators stolen >decide to r--- some infidels out of anger >pin down and r--- the first woman they see >it's a cross dresser >absolutely haram >desperately try to save some face by shooting up a school or a restaurant or something >there's already a gun battle going on when they get there >they go back to middle east angry and defeated >turns out they got Zika from r----- the t----- >it spreads and wipes out ISIS
Anonymous E 07/25/16(Mon)09:22:41 No.62566238 >>62566282 62566312 p62566465 >>62565179 >>62565223 >ISIS decides to attack Brazil >bombers get mugged on the way to the stadium, suicide vests and phone detonators stolen >decide to r--- some infidels out of anger >pin down and r--- the first woman they see >it's a cross dresser >absolutely haram >desperately try to save some face by shooting up a school or a restaurant or something >there's already a gun battle going on when they get there >they go back to middle east angry and defeated >turns out they got Zika from r----- the t----- >it spreads and wipes out ISIS

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Anon is rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)15:51:20 No.875179643 >be me, 30yr old loser >gf is broke 23yr and 10/10 >gf mad and broke up with me a month ago >edit my crypto account to make it look like im rich and 47 KB JPG screenshot it >"accidentaly" show her >she thinks im rich >suddenly all problems go away and she apologizes for everything >get sex every day >starts sending me pictures of baby clothes and eventually says she has baby fever >she wants me to impregnate her and stops taking birth control I dont know what to do now because I only have like 15k to my name and she thinks Im rich, but im taking advantage of this great p---- for as long as it lasts
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)15:51:20 No.875179643 >be me, 30yr old loser >gf is broke 23yr and 10/10 >gf mad and broke up with me a month ago >edit my crypto account to make it look like im rich and 47 KB JPG screenshot it >"accidentaly" show her >she thinks im rich >suddenly all problems go away and she apologizes for everything >get sex every day >starts sending me pictures of baby clothes and eventually says she has baby fever >she wants me to impregnate her and stops taking birth control I dont know what to do now because I only have like 15k to my name and she thinks Im rich, but im taking advantage of this great p---- for as long as it lasts

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Anon the smooth criminal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food BURGER KING >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food BURGER KING >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #

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Anon is a dreamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG :Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 >119155341 : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 :Anonymou »119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou
: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG :Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 >119155341 : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 :Anonymou »119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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redtextthispost | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys
>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys

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I'm not gay, but... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/18(Tue)09:04:05 No.766096427 Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male LAUGHOFF Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male - iRediT Screenshot 20180416-185733.png 1.07 MB PNG "wanna go on a date?" "I ain't gay" "What if I grow some t--- and grow my hair out?" %3D "...fine" ...
: Anonymous 04/17/18(Tue)09:04:05 No.766096427 Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male LAUGHOFF Transgender Finds Love With The Man Who Rejected Her As A Male - iRediT Screenshot 20180416-185733.png 1.07 MB PNG "wanna go on a date?" "I ain't gay" "What if I grow some t--- and grow my hair out?" %3D "...fine" ...

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Bill the great | /r/Greentext

File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: tOWidatY [Reply] > 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327 >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?
File: first black president.jpg (11 KB, 480x360) Anonymous (ID: tOWidatY [Reply] > 02/06/18(Tue)23:25:28 No.159548327 >played jazz sax >could reliably hoop a free throw >ordered fried chicken on every Airforce One flight >almost lost his job over some phat white ass Was Bill Clinton the first black president?

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Anon uses his cards right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)14:25:55 No.87518138: >>875175338 >Be me >5'1" >Take the dwarf pill >Grow long hair and a beard >Start worshiping Norse gods II 137 KВ ЈPG >Start blacksmithing and silversmithing >Get Nordic Tattoos >End up with qt3.14 4'11" redhead >Life is good You gotta use the cards you got anon.
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)14:25:55 No.87518138: >>875175338 >Be me >5'1" >Take the dwarf pill >Grow long hair and a beard >Start worshiping Norse gods II 137 KВ ЈPG >Start blacksmithing and silversmithing >Get Nordic Tattoos >End up with qt3.14 4'11" redhead >Life is good You gotta use the cards you got anon.

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Anon is a bit autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)07:25:32 No.873847000 1mydq3.jpg 51 KB JPG >go on tinder date last night >seemingly normal girl >decide to go get coffee pretty late >sit down >I ask "so what do you do for a living?" >"so I actually don't have a job right now because advocating takes up a huge part of my time, I'm a huge proponent for social justice, mainly online." Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)07:25:32 No.873847000 1mydq3.jpg 51 KB JPG >go on tinder date last night >seemingly normal girl >decide to go get coffee pretty late >sit down >I ask "so what do you do for a living?" >"so I actually don't have a job right now because advocating takes up a huge part of my time, I'm a huge proponent for social justice, mainly online." Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

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Anon wonders... | /r/Greentext

Indiana-Jones-smirk-e1546299380834.jpg| 64 KB JPG >sacred artifact of the Jews is full of demons and melts your face off >the cup of Christ allows you to live forever and heals all injuries What did Lucas mean by this?
Indiana-Jones-smirk-e1546299380834.jpg| 64 KB JPG >sacred artifact of the Jews is full of demons and melts your face off >the cup of Christ allows you to live forever and heals all injuries What did Lucas mean by this?

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Gabe announces Half Life 3 | /r/Greentext

File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) O Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot
File: 1338794837362 jpg-(155 KB, 800x1200, Gabe_01.jpg) O Anonymous 06/04/12(Mon)03:27 No.141846848 >Gabe comes onto stage >Talks about new Steam features, Dota 2 >Conference is coming to a close >Audience sighs in unison >"Oh and one more thing" >"Attendees perk up >A huge f------ 3 slowly fades onto screen >Crowd turns into bananas and bursts into treats >An "E" quickly pops up next to it >"Have a nice E3" >Gabe gets shot

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Anon wants a cock hungry bf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/15/16(Mon)15:21:23 No.30710277 2230710313 >30710367 >>30710437 230710469 >30710506 2230710511 2230710545 >30710732 230710827 230712250 >30713674 230713755 >30714623 >30715806 Can hormones really stop aging and make someone a pretty boy for longer? I plan to spike my roommate food stash with girl pills so he becomes my c--- hungry feminized bf. Anonymous 08/15/16(Mon)15:23:04 No.30710313 2230710366 2230713143 >>30710277 (OP) # leave him alone you f------ monster.
Anonymous 08/15/16(Mon)15:21:23 No.30710277 2230710313 >30710367 >>30710437 230710469 >30710506 2230710511 2230710545 >30710732 230710827 230712250 >30713674 230713755 >30714623 >30715806 Can hormones really stop aging and make someone a pretty boy for longer? I plan to spike my roommate food stash with girl pills so he becomes my c--- hungry feminized bf. Anonymous 08/15/16(Mon)15:23:04 No.30710313 2230710366 2230713143 >>30710277 (OP) # leave him alone you f------ monster.

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Anon makes a point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?
: Anonymous 12/07/21(Tue)05:55:10 No.868146754 >almost completely unregulated >incompatible with traffic jams >no note >no insurance needed >no license needed >fuel it with determination and whatever 148 KB JPG you ate for breakfast this morning >probably one of the most fuel-efficient vehicles in existence, come to think of it >goes as far and as fast as you can >no need for parking lots, just leave it anywhere there is a secure structure you can attach it to >and even if someone does steal it, it's so inexpensive you could literally just buy another no problem >physically improves you while you use it >plain ol' fun >minimal environmental impact >collisions are significantly less likely to kill or even injure >if entire cities were designed around these the way they are with cars, everyone would be fine with it >doesn't even need seatbelts why is the automobile viewed as the ultimate symbol of freedom again?

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Anon forgor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)09:25:11 No.875174094 > be me > autistic tard > being out with a girl > she is out of my league so I dont even try >I forgor a bottle with water and I am thirsty so I ask her 144 KB JPG > "Can we go back to my place?" > "Oh anon you mean sleep with you? Let me ask my parents but probably yes" > mfw she went > mfw my autism is my superpower
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)09:25:11 No.875174094 > be me > autistic tard > being out with a girl > she is out of my league so I dont even try >I forgor a bottle with water and I am thirsty so I ask her 144 KB JPG > "Can we go back to my place?" > "Oh anon you mean sleep with you? Let me ask my parents but probably yes" > mfw she went > mfw my autism is my superpower

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Anon helps Stacy face her fears | /r/Greentext

>Be me >not quite chad but not quite robot yet >have a lot of female friends >female friend named 454 KB JPG Charlotte texts me >we get talking and we start sharing secrets as some sort of game >Charlotte tells me she's always wanted to walk around a forest naked >this sort of shocks me so I keep asking about it and encourage her to try it >she tells me she would but doesn't want to do it alone or with any other females because she thinks they would judge her. >realise this could be my chance and tell her I could do it with her >she thinks about it for a minute >she says she'll do it >we organise a time and place Flash forward a week >we meet in the forest and it's pretty awkward because neither wants to strip first >to try and show her there's nothing to worry about I start stripping off >l get down to my underwear and she hasn't even started > "I don't know anon, are you sure you won't judge" >tell her no but she still looks nervous >try to show her there's nothing to be scared about by taking off my underwear >she laughs a little and then starts to take her stuff off >we are both naked now and start walking and talking >this new found openness makes her trust me more >"anon?" >"yeah?" >"I'm lesbian" God damn it /b I thought l'd finally scored
>Be me >not quite chad but not quite robot yet >have a lot of female friends >female friend named 454 KB JPG Charlotte texts me >we get talking and we start sharing secrets as some sort of game >Charlotte tells me she's always wanted to walk around a forest naked >this sort of shocks me so I keep asking about it and encourage her to try it >she tells me she would but doesn't want to do it alone or with any other females because she thinks they would judge her. >realise this could be my chance and tell her I could do it with her >she thinks about it for a minute >she says she'll do it >we organise a time and place Flash forward a week >we meet in the forest and it's pretty awkward because neither wants to strip first >to try and show her there's nothing to worry about I start stripping off >l get down to my underwear and she hasn't even started > "I don't know anon, are you sure you won't judge" >tell her no but she still looks nervous >try to show her there's nothing to be scared about by taking off my underwear >she laughs a little and then starts to take her stuff off >we are both naked now and start walking and talking >this new found openness makes her trust me more >"anon?" >"yeah?" >"I'm lesbian" God damn it /b I thought l'd finally scored

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Anon hired a lawyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I I 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess
Anonymous (ID: 5KPX2ZJC )I I 03/04/19(Mon)15:01:22 No.205133271 >be me >Police court >Need to go to a hearing, look at a fine of €500 >Get lawyer >Brings fine down to €200 >Billed €600 by lawyer Thanks I guess

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hanon is angry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/19(Wed)22:33:18 No.810403679 REEEEEEE! These redditfags keep coming on here and typing >be me I'm trying to look at trap p--- you f------ incels 92 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/25/19(Wed)22:33:18 No.810403679 REEEEEEE! These redditfags keep coming on here and typing >be me I'm trying to look at trap p--- you f------ incels 92 KB JPG

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Anon talks about aliens | /r/Greentext


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Anon prepares | /r/Greentext


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