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Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents
Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents

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Anon works with furries | /r/Greentext

#84158168 23 hours ago 1313466387609.jpg JPG 290.9 KiB 648x913 >>84151767 (OP) I once worked for a startup that was founded by furries, we tried to be all professional and s---, but you know we are trash and mistakes happen. One time one of the production techs accidentally synced their personal laptop up to the corporate google drive. And Google never forgets.. We kept finding erotic werewolf TF fiction showing up in unexpected places for months after that no matter how many times the IT staff tried to purge it. And one of the devs was a brony. So you would log into prototype machines to find that the MOTD had randomly been replaced with ponies all the time. I'm pretty sure that wound up getting shipped a couple of production builds too. A couple of the engineers were good friends with Varka, of Bad Dragon fame, so at one point he sent is a palette of reject dildos to destroy in the machine shop for a laugh. So naturally a couple retardedly oversized dildos started popping up with googly eyes in place of flower vases and the like.
#84158168 23 hours ago 1313466387609.jpg JPG 290.9 KiB 648x913 >>84151767 (OP) I once worked for a startup that was founded by furries, we tried to be all professional and s---, but you know we are trash and mistakes happen. One time one of the production techs accidentally synced their personal laptop up to the corporate google drive. And Google never forgets.. We kept finding erotic werewolf TF fiction showing up in unexpected places for months after that no matter how many times the IT staff tried to purge it. And one of the devs was a brony. So you would log into prototype machines to find that the MOTD had randomly been replaced with ponies all the time. I'm pretty sure that wound up getting shipped a couple of production builds too. A couple of the engineers were good friends with Varka, of Bad Dragon fame, so at one point he sent is a palette of reject dildos to destroy in the machine shop for a laugh. So naturally a couple retardedly oversized dildos started popping up with googly eyes in place of flower vases and the like.

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Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:52:58 No.64905522 >have this friend on discord >he's really depressed and especially down lately >says it's cause his birthday is coming up and he's still a virgin >send him a pic of my t--- on his birthday to cheer him up >he just gets angry and blocks me 657 KB JPG W-- why are men like this? : Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:55:08 No.64905553 >>64905522 (OP)# >my friend says he's dying of hunger >send him a PICTURE of food >w-- why is he angry??! >>64905592 #
: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:52:58 No.64905522 >have this friend on discord >he's really depressed and especially down lately >says it's cause his birthday is coming up and he's still a virgin >send him a pic of my t--- on his birthday to cheer him up >he just gets angry and blocks me 657 KB JPG W-- why are men like this? : Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:55:08 No.64905553 >>64905522 (OP)# >my friend says he's dying of hunger >send him a PICTURE of food >w-- why is he angry??! >>64905592 #

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Anon ponders rap in Europe | /r/Greentext

What the f--- would European rappers rap about >yeah yeah can't say n---- cuz l'm white >went down to sell some crack, then I realized I'm in Portugal so I started smoking the crack yeah >got fired from my job for not showing up, so I went to collect my welfare yeeah >tried to rob a store, but I don't know where to get a gun or how to use it yeah >l got arrested the police, but they didn't shoot me when I resisted because they don't carry guns yeah
What the f--- would European rappers rap about >yeah yeah can't say n---- cuz l'm white >went down to sell some crack, then I realized I'm in Portugal so I started smoking the crack yeah >got fired from my job for not showing up, so I went to collect my welfare yeeah >tried to rob a store, but I don't know where to get a gun or how to use it yeah >l got arrested the police, but they didn't shoot me when I resisted because they don't carry guns yeah

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A new foe has Appeared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Weird childhood memories threa(...) 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:22 No.67958749 >Be 6 >Fat older kid neighbor lives across the street, not sure how much older he was than me but I think he was a freshman in high school or something >Mom tells me to avoid him, doesn't 90 KB PNG tell me why >One day he comes up to my house and asks me if I want to go to his house >Stupid kid so say yes >Go to his house without telling my parents, its only me and him in his house >He takes me to his room and tells me to wait >Minutes later he brings in his gamecube and we play Smash Bros >Later go home and my mom tells me that she was looking everywhere for me, but I don't think I told her where I was Was I f------ molested or something, and just don't remember? Or was he just some spergy loser that hung out with literal children because nobody his age would?
: Anonymous Weird childhood memories threa(...) 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:22 No.67958749 >Be 6 >Fat older kid neighbor lives across the street, not sure how much older he was than me but I think he was a freshman in high school or something >Mom tells me to avoid him, doesn't 90 KB PNG tell me why >One day he comes up to my house and asks me if I want to go to his house >Stupid kid so say yes >Go to his house without telling my parents, its only me and him in his house >He takes me to his room and tells me to wait >Minutes later he brings in his gamecube and we play Smash Bros >Later go home and my mom tells me that she was looking everywhere for me, but I don't think I told her where I was Was I f------ molested or something, and just don't remember? Or was he just some spergy loser that hung out with literal children because nobody his age would?

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anon makes an inappropriate joke | /r/Greentext

8:41 M . 70% : Anonymous adventures with autism 03/27/22(Sun)19:22:21 No.67961510 Story time > be me > taking a course on cancer biology in college > professor divides the class into groups > each group gets assigned a paper on 16 KB PNG cancer research which they need to present > my group gets the paper on Lynch syndrome, MSI and cancer > in first group meeting, group leader brings chocolates > he offers me one, I take it and say "I prefer crack but this is fine too" > everyone laughs, so I try to make more jokes during the meeting > one group member starts explaining what lynch syndrome is > I jokingly say "I guess lot of black people suffered from this disease in 1900s" > everyone looks at me in horror. >I realize how inappropriate what I just said is > after a brief silence the group member resumes her explanation >l just sat in my chair silently for the rest of the meeting It was so awkward. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell where this line between appropriate and inappropriate is. I hate being autistic. : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)19:41:32 No.67961716 >working from home in pajamas >in Teams meeting, there are like 50 people there for some dumb thing >5 minute break because no one's going to pay attention to this s--- for 3 hours 189 KB JPG >browsing memes at the same time >see a GTA 5 lamar roast meme >l'm muted so it's safe >l say aloud "niggaaaa" | >hear someone say "what" over the meeting >I wasn't muted >someone asks "who said that" >no one answers >no one knew it was me got off very lucky
8:41 M . 70% : Anonymous adventures with autism 03/27/22(Sun)19:22:21 No.67961510 Story time > be me > taking a course on cancer biology in college > professor divides the class into groups > each group gets assigned a paper on 16 KB PNG cancer research which they need to present > my group gets the paper on Lynch syndrome, MSI and cancer > in first group meeting, group leader brings chocolates > he offers me one, I take it and say "I prefer crack but this is fine too" > everyone laughs, so I try to make more jokes during the meeting > one group member starts explaining what lynch syndrome is > I jokingly say "I guess lot of black people suffered from this disease in 1900s" > everyone looks at me in horror. >I realize how inappropriate what I just said is > after a brief silence the group member resumes her explanation >l just sat in my chair silently for the rest of the meeting It was so awkward. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell where this line between appropriate and inappropriate is. I hate being autistic. : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)19:41:32 No.67961716 >working from home in pajamas >in Teams meeting, there are like 50 people there for some dumb thing >5 minute break because no one's going to pay attention to this s--- for 3 hours 189 KB JPG >browsing memes at the same time >see a GTA 5 lamar roast meme >l'm muted so it's safe >l say aloud "niggaaaa" | >hear someone say "what" over the meeting >I wasn't muted >someone asks "who said that" >no one answers >no one knew it was me got off very lucky

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Hey you can't make fun of bald people if they are women! because...you just can't ok?!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)01:00:17 No.165701357 PDATE WEEKEND UPDA1 90c8ee4ee694b2a8d3a0598619d8293870-norm- macdonald.rsquare.w700.jpg 74 KB JPG >"And on Hollywood news: Actor Will Smith slapped fellow actor Chris Rock live in the Academy Award gala after he made an awful joke about his wife hair loss" >"This showed a new side of Mr Smith not know to the public and undoutbly worries us all" >"because if that's his reaction to a joke then just imagine what would happen if another man f----- her" >>165701428 # >>165701470 # >>165701686 # >>165701806 # >>165701850 # >>165701974 # >>165701994 # >>165702324 # >>165702391 # >>165702437 # >>165702472 # >>165702527 # >>165702537 # >>165702555 # >>165702703 # >165702744 # >>165702757 #
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)01:00:17 No.165701357 PDATE WEEKEND UPDA1 90c8ee4ee694b2a8d3a0598619d8293870-norm- macdonald.rsquare.w700.jpg 74 KB JPG >"And on Hollywood news: Actor Will Smith slapped fellow actor Chris Rock live in the Academy Award gala after he made an awful joke about his wife hair loss" >"This showed a new side of Mr Smith not know to the public and undoutbly worries us all" >"because if that's his reaction to a joke then just imagine what would happen if another man f----- her" >>165701428 # >>165701470 # >>165701686 # >>165701806 # >>165701850 # >>165701974 # >>165701994 # >>165702324 # >>165702391 # >>165702437 # >>165702472 # >>165702527 # >>165702537 # >>165702555 # >>165702703 # >165702744 # >>165702757 #

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Korean and Japanese anons say what they think of one another | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)13:40:37 No.115286066 >>115286013 # 132 KB PNG >>115286076 # >>115286090 # >>115286530 # : Anonymous ; 12/12/19(Thu)13:41:11 No.115286076 >>115286066 # 64 KB JPG >>115286090 # >>115286105 # >>115286530 #
: Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)13:40:37 No.115286066 >>115286013 # 132 KB PNG >>115286076 # >>115286090 # >>115286530 # : Anonymous ; 12/12/19(Thu)13:41:11 No.115286076 >>115286066 # 64 KB JPG >>115286090 # >>115286105 # >>115286530 #

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Anon gets reality checked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:23:56 No.67959999 Motivation thread >be me born in poor family >struggle throughout my life >achieve good place in society >working in IT making 6digits/year in 2nd world country >have a kid and a loving goth wife >manage to get my son to a good 194 KB JPG uni >feeling proud of myself >wake up >clock shows 6 AM >it was all a dream >remember I work at a slaughter house on min wage What keeps you going r9k ??
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:23:56 No.67959999 Motivation thread >be me born in poor family >struggle throughout my life >achieve good place in society >working in IT making 6digits/year in 2nd world country >have a kid and a loving goth wife >manage to get my son to a good 194 KB JPG uni >feeling proud of myself >wake up >clock shows 6 AM >it was all a dream >remember I work at a slaughter house on min wage What keeps you going r9k ??

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the best greentext | /r/Greentext

I really need your help anons >be me, about 20 years ago >be sperm >overhear chad seeds talking about how great life must be >think to myself "f--- it, can't be any worse than being trapped in 6 KB JPG here with these f------" >hatchplan.exe >know that I will never have a chance racing against chads >see chadsperms swim to front lines >instead I swim to the very back of the b------- >watch chadseeds fly into a tissue and be thrown into the trash >kek.mp3 >a little later swim to the front and wait for my chance >only me & other autist sperm left >make my way to the womb >be born >.. >be me now >regret that decision every day
I really need your help anons >be me, about 20 years ago >be sperm >overhear chad seeds talking about how great life must be >think to myself "f--- it, can't be any worse than being trapped in 6 KB JPG here with these f------" >hatchplan.exe >know that I will never have a chance racing against chads >see chadsperms swim to front lines >instead I swim to the very back of the b------- >watch chadseeds fly into a tissue and be thrown into the trash >kek.mp3 >a little later swim to the front and wait for my chance >only me & other autist sperm left >make my way to the womb >be born >.. >be me now >regret that decision every day

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anon uses german trains | /r/Greentext

File: 410297062 png (94 KB, 396x385) O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:28:38 No.21458757 >>21458774 >>21458781 >>21458798 >>21458801 >21458834 >>21458867 >>21458884 >>21459359 I f------ hate cops, theyre such pigs and oppressors. >be in train >f------ oink oink pig swine comes up to me >asks for my id >i ask if im being detained >he says no >he says he's asking for my id because i might have mental disabilities for walking around with a mlp stuffed animal >tells me leave why are cops such bullies, f------ pigs This thread has been pruned or deleted *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:29:42 No.21458774 >>21458757 (OP) loving this meme O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:30:24 No.21458781 ► File. LaughingMantises.jpg (210 KB, 1200x800) >>21458757 (OP) 10/10 - It was okay *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:10 No.21458864 > >>21458876 File: 1413309870991 jpg (525 KB, 1920x1080) HAHAHHAHAHA, OP ARE YOU FROM BERLIN AND WAS THIS TODAY AT ABOUT 7 PM? >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:20 No.21458867 ► POLIZEI EI >> O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:56 No.21458876 ► >>21458925 >>21458864 (You) what? yes it was. thats weird, why? >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:37 13 No.21458884> > Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:37:43 No.21458889 > >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:39:36 No.21458910 ► 31-12-2014 D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:40:34 No.21458925> >>21458933 >>21458935 >21458936 >>21458952 >>21458959 >>21458965 >>21458970 >>21458974 >>21458986 >>21458991 >>21459001 >>21459050 >>21459060 >>21459096 >>21459224 >>21459237 File: IMG 2945 jpg (100 KB, 600x800) 69BAHN >>21458876 Greetings from the officer who checked your I.D. A) Next time you should watch out, friendo. Hello lo! :-) D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:11 No.21458933 > >>21458925 (You) WHAT THE F---/ YOU F------ PIG, LEAVE ME ALONE, WHY CANT YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINE >ftw gonnm own a Porsche Scon (maybe) * O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:17 No.21458935 ► >>21458925 (You) OH S--- *O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:18 No.21458936 ► >>21458925 (You) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9YqCP_B7EU [Embed] HAHAHA F----- OP *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:42:01 No.21458952 ► >>21458925 (You) This thread has been pruned or deleted 10/10 S Berliner Sparkasse Hello P Im(pl 2075-18-1 DER KOSTENLOSE SERVICE IHRER HAUPTSTADTZE Berlin Spark Berlin polizei Berliner AUSGABE SPANDAU This thread has been pruned or deleted BERLINRADAR
File: 410297062 png (94 KB, 396x385) O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:28:38 No.21458757 >>21458774 >>21458781 >>21458798 >>21458801 >21458834 >>21458867 >>21458884 >>21459359 I f------ hate cops, theyre such pigs and oppressors. >be in train >f------ oink oink pig swine comes up to me >asks for my id >i ask if im being detained >he says no >he says he's asking for my id because i might have mental disabilities for walking around with a mlp stuffed animal >tells me leave why are cops such bullies, f------ pigs This thread has been pruned or deleted *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:29:42 No.21458774 >>21458757 (OP) loving this meme O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:30:24 No.21458781 ► File. LaughingMantises.jpg (210 KB, 1200x800) >>21458757 (OP) 10/10 - It was okay *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:10 No.21458864 > >>21458876 File: 1413309870991 jpg (525 KB, 1920x1080) HAHAHHAHAHA, OP ARE YOU FROM BERLIN AND WAS THIS TODAY AT ABOUT 7 PM? >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:20 No.21458867 ► POLIZEI EI >> O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:36:56 No.21458876 ► >>21458925 >>21458864 (You) what? yes it was. thats weird, why? >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:37 13 No.21458884> > Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:37:43 No.21458889 > >> Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:39:36 No.21458910 ► 31-12-2014 D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:40:34 No.21458925> >>21458933 >>21458935 >21458936 >>21458952 >>21458959 >>21458965 >>21458970 >>21458974 >>21458986 >>21458991 >>21459001 >>21459050 >>21459060 >>21459096 >>21459224 >>21459237 File: IMG 2945 jpg (100 KB, 600x800) 69BAHN >>21458876 Greetings from the officer who checked your I.D. A) Next time you should watch out, friendo. Hello lo! :-) D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:11 No.21458933 > >>21458925 (You) WHAT THE F---/ YOU F------ PIG, LEAVE ME ALONE, WHY CANT YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINE >ftw gonnm own a Porsche Scon (maybe) * O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:17 No.21458935 ► >>21458925 (You) OH S--- *O Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:41:18 No.21458936 ► >>21458925 (You) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9YqCP_B7EU [Embed] HAHAHA F----- OP *D Anonymous 01/18/15(Sun)05:42:01 No.21458952 ► >>21458925 (You) This thread has been pruned or deleted 10/10 S Berliner Sparkasse Hello P Im(pl 2075-18-1 DER KOSTENLOSE SERVICE IHRER HAUPTSTADTZE Berlin Spark Berlin polizei Berliner AUSGABE SPANDAU This thread has been pruned or deleted BERLINRADAR

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Anon discovers double standards | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)06:58:26 No.67965370 >looking at local sex offender registry >bunch of frowning weird old white dudes >one female sex offender >25-year old asian woman >smiling in every mugshot >she was a tutor and r---- an underage student >saw she was active on facebook 34 KB JPG >looked happy and smiling with friends >just launched a new business >looked at the registry recently >her blip is f------ gone >she literally got away with r----- a kid
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)06:58:26 No.67965370 >looking at local sex offender registry >bunch of frowning weird old white dudes >one female sex offender >25-year old asian woman >smiling in every mugshot >she was a tutor and r---- an underage student >saw she was active on facebook 34 KB JPG >looked happy and smiling with friends >just launched a new business >looked at the registry recently >her blip is f------ gone >she literally got away with r----- a kid

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Anon analyses the Oscars | /r/Greentext

O Will Smith Punches Chris Rock Anony v >>369705645 >>36970574 >>369706146 >>369706288 >>369706468 >>36 No.369705468 >>369707048 >>369707154 >>369707501 >>36 >>369707985 >>369708095 >>369708235 >first time in history that blacks host the Oscars >someone gets assaulted
O Will Smith Punches Chris Rock Anony v >>369705645 >>36970574 >>369706146 >>369706288 >>369706468 >>36 No.369705468 >>369707048 >>369707154 >>369707501 >>36 >>369707985 >>369708095 >>369708235 >first time in history that blacks host the Oscars >someone gets assaulted

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Today oscar its pretty wild | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:57:43 No.165695659 91 KB JPG anyone else happy seeing s--- stirring bitchy comedians get their comeuppance? Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:58:41 No.165695745 >>165695659 (OP) if you're on will smith's side of that, you're a f------ f----- Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:13:08 No.165696971 >>165695745 >Someone makes fun of your gf's disease making her ugly >Just sit there and laugh You are a p---- if you don't do anything
Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:57:43 No.165695659 91 KB JPG anyone else happy seeing s--- stirring bitchy comedians get their comeuppance? Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:58:41 No.165695745 >>165695659 (OP) if you're on will smith's side of that, you're a f------ f----- Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:13:08 No.165696971 >>165695745 >Someone makes fun of your gf's disease making her ugly >Just sit there and laugh You are a p---- if you don't do anything

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he tries being friendly | /r/Greentext

>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized
>go to therapist >ask for help with being social >she gives me homework >say hello to 20 people on the street before our next session >okletsdothis.gif >walking home from her office, pass a middle aged guy >"hi! how are you?" >holyshitididit.mp4 >"not too bad! how are you? god it's cold out!" 84.3 kB PNG >f--- he's starting a conversation. >"eh yeah... i dont like cold" >"do you live nearby? i'm just across here. maybe a cup of tea will warm you up" >wow this is easy, i'm already making friends >we go up to his apartment and he puts the kettle on >"so good christmas? spend it with your gf?" he asks >"um... no. with my parents. no gf" >"oh. break up with your last one recently?" >"uh... i've never had a gf" >"that's strange, nice looking young fella like yourself" he says and winks at me. >he sits down next to me and puts his hand on my knee and starts moving it up my thigh "ehhh i have to go to the bathroom" i say and run out of his apartment my therapist almost got me sodomized

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Anon is living large | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)18:47:20 No.67108862 >Buy fake prop money off Amazon >Looks real as f--- >Last night >Go to strip club >Pay for entry fee and drinks at the bar with real money >Spend all night drunk and paying 487 KB JPG strippers for private lap dances >lt's dark and their drunk/high so they don't check to see "For Motion Picture Use Only" >Spend over $4,000 in useless money in one night >All the strippers love me >Get to touch their boobs and asses >Feel like Chad for one night >Only costed $9.99 + tax I'm sure they figured it out by now so I can never go back there but man that felt good.
: Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)18:47:20 No.67108862 >Buy fake prop money off Amazon >Looks real as f--- >Last night >Go to strip club >Pay for entry fee and drinks at the bar with real money >Spend all night drunk and paying 487 KB JPG strippers for private lap dances >lt's dark and their drunk/high so they don't check to see "For Motion Picture Use Only" >Spend over $4,000 in useless money in one night >All the strippers love me >Get to touch their boobs and asses >Feel like Chad for one night >Only costed $9.99 + tax I'm sure they figured it out by now so I can never go back there but man that felt good.

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Fast attack | /r/Greentext

Was at a party yesterday >playing truth or dare >someone dares me to go home No matter how fast I run.. I cannot run away from the pain... mfw 71 KB JPG
Was at a party yesterday >playing truth or dare >someone dares me to go home No matter how fast I run.. I cannot run away from the pain... mfw 71 KB JPG

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Anon has a very based last name and gets praised for it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 minutes ago sad.jpg (8.3 KB, 249x202) 875207841 >one chance at life >last name is Pichulman >pichula is a slang for penis in spanish >mfw my last name is penisman 1 REPLY Anonymous 1 minute ago 875208030 images (73).jpg (19.4 KB, 554x554) >>875207841 (OP) >penisman
Anonymous 5 minutes ago sad.jpg (8.3 KB, 249x202) 875207841 >one chance at life >last name is Pichulman >pichula is a slang for penis in spanish >mfw my last name is penisman 1 REPLY Anonymous 1 minute ago 875208030 images (73).jpg (19.4 KB, 554x554) >>875207841 (OP) >penisman

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anon is in the dream world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:05 No.875204912 >be me >at school >been drifting in and out of sleep >kindof into lucid dreaming >think im asleep, so i check >board is full of alien language >figure im asleep >think what should i do 94 KB GIF >decide to make a sex dream >walk up to crush >grab her t-- >realize im awake >entire class is staring at me >t-- still in my hand >deerinheadlights.jpg >decide theres only one way to recover >fall on the floor >start faking seizure >nobody buys it >go back to my seat now i know why everyone hates me so much
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:05 No.875204912 >be me >at school >been drifting in and out of sleep >kindof into lucid dreaming >think im asleep, so i check >board is full of alien language >figure im asleep >think what should i do 94 KB GIF >decide to make a sex dream >walk up to crush >grab her t-- >realize im awake >entire class is staring at me >t-- still in my hand >deerinheadlights.jpg >decide theres only one way to recover >fall on the floor >start faking seizure >nobody buys it >go back to my seat now i know why everyone hates me so much

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a friends of Elon Musk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)13:30:38 No.820823558 You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?"
: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)13:30:38 No.820823558 You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?"

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