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Anon gets a family | /r/Greentext

>be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >I swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >l had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.
>be me >riding my motorcycle >get hit by a car >damn it hurts but I walk it off >the girl that hit me is hammered >call 911 because she has a 60 KB JPG massive gash on her head >she's off to the ambulance >after the crash we get to know each other >she's tall, blonde and cute >we begin to date after 6 months of talking >3 years later >got married and my wife just got pregnant. We have a house on the bottom of a beautiful hill >reminds me of Bliss >kek >1 year later >my 3 month old son is growing so fast. >drive him to the doctor's office for a checkup >turn left >a car heading towards me >I swerve out of the way holding my son >l wake up in a hospital >l had gotten into a motorcycle crash 3 weeks ago >but wasn't In a car? >been in a coma the whole time >l ask what happened to the driver >she died I want my family back.

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Do french really? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:51:35 No.162011043 Maybe showering 3 times a week is not enough 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:52:31 No.162011092 >>162011043 (OP) # >French hygiene >>162011141 # >>162011641 #
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:51:35 No.162011043 Maybe showering 3 times a week is not enough 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:52:31 No.162011092 >>162011043 (OP) # >French hygiene >>162011141 # >>162011641 #

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raccoons = women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)14:47:25 No.129610489 is there any real difference between women and raccoons >steals your food >always lays on your spot on the sofa >produces a lot of annoying sounds >can be fairly cute that makes you want to hug it >gets fat once she gives birth to offsprings >natural instinct to wash things >loves cotton candy >friends thinks it's cool if you have one >tries to scrape your face off when it's angry I really dont see a difference
Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)14:47:25 No.129610489 is there any real difference between women and raccoons >steals your food >always lays on your spot on the sofa >produces a lot of annoying sounds >can be fairly cute that makes you want to hug it >gets fat once she gives birth to offsprings >natural instinct to wash things >loves cotton candy >friends thinks it's cool if you have one >tries to scrape your face off when it's angry I really dont see a difference

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murica fuck yeah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/) O 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 No.161082716 Alex went to school and got shot dead . How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? 26 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: WTOE2XN5 ) 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #
: Anonymous (ID: Z/6fH2x/) O 02/19/18(Mon)07:42:29 No.161082716 Alex went to school and got shot dead . How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? 26 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: WTOE2XN5 ) 02/19/18(Mon)07:45:05 No.161082898 >>161082716 (OP) # >How are you Americans going to stop this weird problem ? I'm pretty confident Alex won't be shot dead again, so I think we have this one covered. >>161083006 # >>161086083 # >>161086843 # >>161086991 #

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Titles are cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/19(Wed)17:41:25 No.791386068 How autistic am I /b/ ? >be 8 > sleep at grandmas >can never sleep because she puts plastic on the bed in case I piss myself >never piss myself 55 KB JPG >goes on for years > trouble in family never see her >13 years later > out of town for work stay at her place > go out with co workers and drink all night >come back to grandmas >no plastic fuckyea.jpg > sleep amazing > wake up covered in piss because I drank too much
: Anonymous 01/30/19(Wed)17:41:25 No.791386068 How autistic am I /b/ ? >be 8 > sleep at grandmas >can never sleep because she puts plastic on the bed in case I piss myself >never piss myself 55 KB JPG >goes on for years > trouble in family never see her >13 years later > out of town for work stay at her place > go out with co workers and drink all night >come back to grandmas >no plastic fuckyea.jpg > sleep amazing > wake up covered in piss because I drank too much

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B A S E DVery useful advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.
: Anonymous 07/06/21(Tue)18:58:16 No.858512914 >roommate asks me to drive him to his dealer >sure, I have nothing going on >get in, start the car, put on seatbelt >notice roommate doesn't have his 8 KB JPG seatbelt on >ask him to put it on >"Why? Aren't you a good driver?" >tell him it's my car andI want him to have his seatbelt on >"lol f--- you man just drive" >okay >get on the road, accelerate to 40mph >slam on the brakes >roommate flies out of his seat, his face hits the windshield >oh s---, sorry bro. Maybe you should put your f------ seatbelt on >he does >I turn the car around and drive us back home F------ f----- can walk to his dealer's now. Wear your seatbelts.

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Anon evolved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)18:57:23 No.870097154 >Some friends I played games with used to call me goblin due to my nose and small stature >didn't see them for about 3 years >started to workout since then >got really buff >saw them again yesterday >now they call me hobgoblin 22 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)18:57:23 No.870097154 >Some friends I played games with used to call me goblin due to my nose and small stature >didn't see them for about 3 years >started to workout since then >got really buff >saw them again yesterday >now they call me hobgoblin 22 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon goes to church | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)13:22:53 No.875242327 idiot story time >be me >4-5 years old >obsessed with mr. bean like 100% >i even got a f------ teddy >sunday church service 4 KB JPG >around easter time, so there is a lot of silent prayers >parents pray in silence >me don't know what to do >look around >everyone is praying >s---.jpg >look forward >statue of jesus on cross, looks ultra realistic >i get a idea >i take my teddy and point my other hand at that jesus statue >"VOOK TEDDI DER IZ JISUS ON D KROS! HI DAJD FOR AUR SINZ!" >some people laugh >mom & dad grab me and go home >dad yells his lungs out on me >i cry bc i don't understand >ffw 16 years later >sunday church service >a family with their daughter sit next to me >again silent prayer >little girl takes her barbie even tho her parents are telling her to leave the barbie >"JULIE, THAT'S JESUS" >mfw when I almost start crying bc of flashbacks >mfw I had to go home bc I was barely holding my laughter & tears in what the f--- was wrong with me?
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)13:22:53 No.875242327 idiot story time >be me >4-5 years old >obsessed with mr. bean like 100% >i even got a f------ teddy >sunday church service 4 KB JPG >around easter time, so there is a lot of silent prayers >parents pray in silence >me don't know what to do >look around >everyone is praying >s---.jpg >look forward >statue of jesus on cross, looks ultra realistic >i get a idea >i take my teddy and point my other hand at that jesus statue >"VOOK TEDDI DER IZ JISUS ON D KROS! HI DAJD FOR AUR SINZ!" >some people laugh >mom & dad grab me and go home >dad yells his lungs out on me >i cry bc i don't understand >ffw 16 years later >sunday church service >a family with their daughter sit next to me >again silent prayer >little girl takes her barbie even tho her parents are telling her to leave the barbie >"JULIE, THAT'S JESUS" >mfw when I almost start crying bc of flashbacks >mfw I had to go home bc I was barely holding my laughter & tears in what the f--- was wrong with me?

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Anon makes a fren | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)21:38:17 No.3883316 >Moo at a cow >lt moos back We are friends 101 KB PNG
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)21:38:17 No.3883316 >Moo at a cow >lt moos back We are friends 101 KB PNG

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Anon Got Jokes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)09:07:40 No.165724369 r.png 848 KB PNG >Looks like Will's marriage is open to anything but jokes!
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)09:07:40 No.165724369 r.png 848 KB PNG >Looks like Will's marriage is open to anything but jokes!

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#BlackLivesMatterAnon gets a new gaming buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. 3 KB JPG >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man
: Anonymous 09/30/21(Thu)09:13:05 No.572761537 >Be playing vidya >Enter co op game >Black guy has joined >He's new to the game >Doesn't realise his mic is on and is recording the whole room. >He's low on health >He doesn't know how to heal. 3 KB JPG >l heal him for him >"Thank you!" >"That's so nice" >Later in the game I get downed >"I'm coming my n----" >Comes to my rescue >"I got you bro" >Finish the mission >"Yo G you're ma real n----. Respect" Mfw feels good man

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Anon is living the dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Vila 03/28/22(Mon)20:23:42 No.67969628 > be me > grade 3 or something > doing roman history in class for a few weeks >i love it and tell my teacher I want to live in Italy when l'm older > love to cool Vilas and s--- > she's super supportive and always talks about it 593 KB JPG with me > ff to now > bought house in portugal > have fruit trees and wine grapes > eating malba toast with mayonnaise while watching leauge of legends on YouTube >I am the emperor of my own Vila It's not Italy but it's just as good. Thank you teacher 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)20:26:53 No.67969662 >>67969628 (OP)# Nothing wrong with living the dream.
: Anonymous Vila 03/28/22(Mon)20:23:42 No.67969628 > be me > grade 3 or something > doing roman history in class for a few weeks >i love it and tell my teacher I want to live in Italy when l'm older > love to cool Vilas and s--- > she's super supportive and always talks about it 593 KB JPG with me > ff to now > bought house in portugal > have fruit trees and wine grapes > eating malba toast with mayonnaise while watching leauge of legends on YouTube >I am the emperor of my own Vila It's not Italy but it's just as good. Thank you teacher 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)20:26:53 No.67969662 >>67969628 (OP)# Nothing wrong with living the dream.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vpV/X6rj ) 03/28/22(Mon)11:32:47 No.369791656 >Be fit, tall, rich and famous >Be married >Wife cheats multiple times >Wife publicly says that fit, tall, rich and famous husband can't f--- >Someone makes a joke about wife's lack 60 KB JPG of hair >Husband laughs, but then punchs dude who made the joke because wife didn't like it >Husband acts like a huge white knight cuck with cheating bitch wife >He could just dump her ass and get any woman he wants, he's not exactly a NEET neckbeard why? pic related
Anonymous (ID: vpV/X6rj ) 03/28/22(Mon)11:32:47 No.369791656 >Be fit, tall, rich and famous >Be married >Wife cheats multiple times >Wife publicly says that fit, tall, rich and famous husband can't f--- >Someone makes a joke about wife's lack 60 KB JPG of hair >Husband laughs, but then punchs dude who made the joke because wife didn't like it >Husband acts like a huge white knight cuck with cheating bitch wife >He could just dump her ass and get any woman he wants, he's not exactly a NEET neckbeard why? pic related

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anon’s reddit experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)04:03:53 No.5017389 >visit reddit for the first time >first two major subs reddit recommends me >first one is a politics sub, tl;dr people are still seething because of Trump, boring >second sub is r/all, it actually just a collection of the day's most upvoted posts from various subs >first post is some meme with the title 'Bruh' >most upvoted comment is 'Bruh' with 1500 upvotes >under it a response comment 'Bruh' with 1200 downvotes that place might be more retarded than 4chin
Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)04:03:53 No.5017389 >visit reddit for the first time >first two major subs reddit recommends me >first one is a politics sub, tl;dr people are still seething because of Trump, boring >second sub is r/all, it actually just a collection of the day's most upvoted posts from various subs >first post is some meme with the title 'Bruh' >most upvoted comment is 'Bruh' with 1500 upvotes >under it a response comment 'Bruh' with 1200 downvotes that place might be more retarded than 4chin

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Anon questions society | /r/Greentext

10m (3/28 11:22) · 875233386 1 Re · 0 Img JPG· 29KB · (550 × 550) 1 Reply >a single woman wants to adopt a young boy >wow amazing, what a caring and loving lady >a single man wants to adopt a young girl >eww what a disgusting p---, lock him up why? 9m (3/28 11:23) · 875233429 >>875233386 (OP) men bad
10m (3/28 11:22) · 875233386 1 Re · 0 Img JPG· 29KB · (550 × 550) 1 Reply >a single woman wants to adopt a young boy >wow amazing, what a caring and loving lady >a single man wants to adopt a young girl >eww what a disgusting p---, lock him up why? 9m (3/28 11:23) · 875233429 >>875233386 (OP) men bad

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Literally every conversation about Antinous Pius ever. | /r/Greentext

26m (5/6 13:13) - 11058542 3 Re 0 Img JPG 2MB (2300 x 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) - 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.
26m (5/6 13:13) - 11058542 3 Re 0 Img JPG 2MB (2300 x 3066) 2 Replies >become most powerful man on earth >do absolutely nothing Denaranon · 9m (5/6 13:31) - 11058630 >>11058542 (OP) >Become the most powerful man on earth >See that the country is prospering >See that your in an era of peace >Don't spend money on military motions that are unneeded >Spend money for welfare, including starting a orphanage for girls >Devote time to raising children ment to be the best possible heirs >1800 years later >F----- 4channers are mad that you didn't do dumb s---.

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The Batman is a documentary | /r/Greentext

>black woman walks up to rich white dude >guy doesnt even know her >demands gibs >changes to an offended tone when rich guy visibly doesnt want to deal with her bs didnt know The Batman was a documentary
>black woman walks up to rich white dude >guy doesnt even know her >demands gibs >changes to an offended tone when rich guy visibly doesnt want to deal with her bs didnt know The Batman was a documentary

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anon makes something new | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:33:08 No.859751742 Floorjak.png 126 KB PNG Hey guys, I'm new here. I thought I'd just share a new wojak I made, I call him floorjak. Basically the gimmick is he's a floor, and I've never seen that done before. Please go easy on me, things haven't been going good for me lately. I hope you like it. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:33:08 No.859751742 Floorjak.png 126 KB PNG Hey guys, I'm new here. I thought I'd just share a new wojak I made, I call him floorjak. Basically the gimmick is he's a floor, and I've never seen that done before. Please go easy on me, things haven't been going good for me lately. I hope you like it. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon lil bro is the best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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########## | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)02:01:14 No.875232446 JADA PINKETT Will: See what I did, babe? I smacked him. That was for you. SMITH G.I.JANE Jada: Mhm...yeah, wel...Pac would've shot him. Then he would've come back down here and f----- me on this table in 528 KB JPG front of everyone here. Will: *sigh* ...He sure would have...*wipes a mournful tear and pours some of his drink onto the floor* ...He sure in hell would have... 13 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)02:01:14 No.875232446 JADA PINKETT Will: See what I did, babe? I smacked him. That was for you. SMITH G.I.JANE Jada: Mhm...yeah, wel...Pac would've shot him. Then he would've come back down here and f----- me on this table in 528 KB JPG front of everyone here. Will: *sigh* ...He sure would have...*wipes a mournful tear and pours some of his drink onto the floor* ...He sure in hell would have... 13 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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