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Anon saw Will Smith | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes small talk | /r/Greentext


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Anon fixes the school shooting problem | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes one with the hive mind | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets in trouble | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a robot | /r/Greentext


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Anon somehow managed to go to the gym before the start of covid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe
: Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)07:20:53 No.58663104 > looking for a new gym > ask the gym receptionist if their gym is based or cringe > she doesn't understand > pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is based and what is cringe > she laughs and says "it's a good gym 23 KB JPG sir" > buy a membership > its cringe

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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)22:25:23 No.785321488 >Be me >Be 12 year old in medieval time >Drunk Father beats me daily >Hate older brothers too >Hear rumor that if you live to 30 and remain a virgin you become a 494 KB GIF wizard >Run away from home at 16 >Become hermit in woods >Life is ok, I mostly hunt and try to survive >Eventually lose track of time >Sleeping peacefully one night when start to feel weird >Get roused awake and as it becomes midnight I feel magic begin to course through my veins >Instantly get robe and beard >Mfw
| Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)22:25:23 No.785321488 >Be me >Be 12 year old in medieval time >Drunk Father beats me daily >Hate older brothers too >Hear rumor that if you live to 30 and remain a virgin you become a 494 KB GIF wizard >Run away from home at 16 >Become hermit in woods >Life is ok, I mostly hunt and try to survive >Eventually lose track of time >Sleeping peacefully one night when start to feel weird >Get roused awake and as it becomes midnight I feel magic begin to course through my veins >Instantly get robe and beard >Mfw

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anon likes spongebob | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon has a classmate with ADHD | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)06:49:04 No.875305328 >be me >4th grade >old ass teacher lady is teaching >kid next to me won't stfu >he's got like ADHD on crack >teacher: "Please be quiet." x20 >kid is still talking and getting louder >teacher is getting visibly red, but still 57 KB JPG being semi polite. >kids starts dancing in his chair and singing some song at the top of his lungs. >teacher snaps >she grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. >she's starts screaming: " DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!" >She repeats that like 3 times, shaking him pretty hard. >other kids start crying. >ADHD kid is white as a sheet. >teacher goes back to teaching like nothing happened. >next day we have substitute >next 2 weeks parents, counselors, principal, vice principal, and superintendent are interviewing kids about what happened. >never see teacher again. >12 years later >ADHD kid is convicted of murder and on the run from the law.
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)06:49:04 No.875305328 >be me >4th grade >old ass teacher lady is teaching >kid next to me won't stfu >he's got like ADHD on crack >teacher: "Please be quiet." x20 >kid is still talking and getting louder >teacher is getting visibly red, but still 57 KB JPG being semi polite. >kids starts dancing in his chair and singing some song at the top of his lungs. >teacher snaps >she grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. >she's starts screaming: " DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!" >She repeats that like 3 times, shaking him pretty hard. >other kids start crying. >ADHD kid is white as a sheet. >teacher goes back to teaching like nothing happened. >next day we have substitute >next 2 weeks parents, counselors, principal, vice principal, and superintendent are interviewing kids about what happened. >never see teacher again. >12 years later >ADHD kid is convicted of murder and on the run from the law.

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Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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anon receives destructive advice | /r/Greentext

File: 1647551719970.jpg (58 KB, 544x549) Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:24:06 No.67980546 [Reply] >wake up >need to be in school in 30mins >think about what i need to do this morning >pack lunch, bring bag, dont forget keys >think about how i remembered to lock the house when i leave >think about how im driving to school corner by corner >fall asleep again thinking i went to school. >wake up 2 hours later in panic w-- bros >> Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:28:42 No.67980569 His smile and optimism: gone. drop out, school is ass
File: 1647551719970.jpg (58 KB, 544x549) Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:24:06 No.67980546 [Reply] >wake up >need to be in school in 30mins >think about what i need to do this morning >pack lunch, bring bag, dont forget keys >think about how i remembered to lock the house when i leave >think about how im driving to school corner by corner >fall asleep again thinking i went to school. >wake up 2 hours later in panic w-- bros >> Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:28:42 No.67980569 His smile and optimism: gone. drop out, school is ass

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Anon doesn’t trust women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)04:32:37 No.875296649 >be me 15m >smoking weed with some friends and this girl I like at a park >walking back to her house and it's just me and her ahead of everyone else >she randomly says hold my hand >mfw instant boner cuz that's the only 8 KB JPG female contact I've ever had >mfw the next morning she says she did is cuz she was high and she has no feelings towards me >mfw l'm 19 now, still think about it, and never trust a single girl again
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)04:32:37 No.875296649 >be me 15m >smoking weed with some friends and this girl I like at a park >walking back to her house and it's just me and her ahead of everyone else >she randomly says hold my hand >mfw instant boner cuz that's the only 8 KB JPG female contact I've ever had >mfw the next morning she says she did is cuz she was high and she has no feelings towards me >mfw l'm 19 now, still think about it, and never trust a single girl again

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Anon is a narc | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/19(Sun)18:11:27 No.797398096 >normie roommate goes outside with his friends every night to smoke weed behind the dorm >comes back stinking every single night with bloodshot eyes and stupid >it f------ stinks 49 KB JPG >stoner friends keep coming around >wait until he leaves for class >go in his desk and see a bag of marijuana >call campus security >he gets kicked out of the dorms (but NOT out of school) >everyone on the floor is p----- at me, blocked/unfriended me on all social media >someone wrote "narc" on my the whiteboard on my door How am I in the wrong? We shared a room and him having pot in there could get ME in trouble. Why should I take that risk just because he wants to get le epic high with his normie friends and roasties all the time? How do I convince people l'm the good guy here? 45 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/14/19(Sun)18:11:27 No.797398096 >normie roommate goes outside with his friends every night to smoke weed behind the dorm >comes back stinking every single night with bloodshot eyes and stupid >it f------ stinks 49 KB JPG >stoner friends keep coming around >wait until he leaves for class >go in his desk and see a bag of marijuana >call campus security >he gets kicked out of the dorms (but NOT out of school) >everyone on the floor is p----- at me, blocked/unfriended me on all social media >someone wrote "narc" on my the whiteboard on my door How am I in the wrong? We shared a room and him having pot in there could get ME in trouble. Why should I take that risk just because he wants to get le epic high with his normie friends and roasties all the time? How do I convince people l'm the good guy here? 45 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0
: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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anon understands Elden Ring | /r/Greentext

1648425840382.jpg 860 KB JPG >>593658513 # >>593658742 # >>593658815 # Anonymous03/29/22(Tue)07:08:16 No.593658742 No.593658675 >>593658637 # Good God I thought the horse was his c---
1648425840382.jpg 860 KB JPG >>593658513 # >>593658742 # >>593658815 # Anonymous03/29/22(Tue)07:08:16 No.593658742 No.593658675 >>593658637 # Good God I thought the horse was his c---

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Anon had enough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/18(Wed)11:42:15 No.768107863 >be me, middle school >Someone starts a rumor that I have a crush on bitchy girl, Lana, in my homeroom >I didn't. She was hot but was just the f------ worst personality-wise >She finds out >"Ew that dork? I would never!" >I didn't even like her but that's cold >Get teased for a few weeks about it >Finally had enough >Point out that her name spelled backwards is "a---" >That takes the heat off me and now everyone is calling her a--- >She moved to another school after 8th grade but we called her a--- for the rest of middle school
: Anonymous 05/09/18(Wed)11:42:15 No.768107863 >be me, middle school >Someone starts a rumor that I have a crush on bitchy girl, Lana, in my homeroom >I didn't. She was hot but was just the f------ worst personality-wise >She finds out >"Ew that dork? I would never!" >I didn't even like her but that's cold >Get teased for a few weeks about it >Finally had enough >Point out that her name spelled backwards is "a---" >That takes the heat off me and now everyone is calling her a--- >She moved to another school after 8th grade but we called her a--- for the rest of middle school

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Anon fought the law, and the law won. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)09:27:31 No.765381866 >be me >memelord at school >run a popular memepage with about 2.5K followers > also the d--- in school >lots of people who dislike me >post lots of school shooting 79 KB JPG memes Flash back to 2/14/17 >school shooting threat at school >get joking messages on snap asking if it was me Lol.jpg >only 45 people show up to school >spend day trying to find who did it Three days later >eating dinner >hear huge bangs on door >POLICE WE HAVE A WARRANT Wot.jpg >police knock down door >swat team busts in and puts me at gun point >MFW someone reported a meme of mine to the school >mfw the FBI and swat show up at house >mfw l'm arrested And all over a meme
: Anonymous 04/09/18(Mon)09:27:31 No.765381866 >be me >memelord at school >run a popular memepage with about 2.5K followers > also the d--- in school >lots of people who dislike me >post lots of school shooting 79 KB JPG memes Flash back to 2/14/17 >school shooting threat at school >get joking messages on snap asking if it was me Lol.jpg >only 45 people show up to school >spend day trying to find who did it Three days later >eating dinner >hear huge bangs on door >POLICE WE HAVE A WARRANT Wot.jpg >police knock down door >swat team busts in and puts me at gun point >MFW someone reported a meme of mine to the school >mfw the FBI and swat show up at house >mfw l'm arrested And all over a meme

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Anon starts leadmaxxing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Microdosing bullets 08/23/21(Mon)16:34:45 No.50331942 Hey /k/ommandos I started microdosing bullets by shooting myself in the leg with .177 pellets and after 2 months they stopped breaking skin so i've moved up to .22 pellets. My goal is to work up to 22lr by the end of the year and then one day get to .223. Is this possible? Can I 694 KB JPG become bulletproof?
: Anonymous Microdosing bullets 08/23/21(Mon)16:34:45 No.50331942 Hey /k/ommandos I started microdosing bullets by shooting myself in the leg with .177 pellets and after 2 months they stopped breaking skin so i've moved up to .22 pellets. My goal is to work up to 22lr by the end of the year and then one day get to .223. Is this possible? Can I 694 KB JPG become bulletproof?

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Anon made some tasty beer | /r/Greentext


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