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Anon listens to another radio | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates us | /r/Greentext


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anon plays vr chat | /r/Greentext


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Anon needs Jesus, but is out of luck. | /r/Greentext


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OP ain't gonna let em get them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. 'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES
Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. 'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES

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Anon runs an e-commerce site | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)09:27:36 No.86270003 >run e-comnmerce site >Gender: [Male, Female, Other] at sign-up form >add unnecessary one week shipping delay for "Other" costumers 11 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)09:27:36 No.86270003 >run e-comnmerce site >Gender: [Male, Female, Other] at sign-up form >add unnecessary one week shipping delay for "Other" costumers 11 KB JPG

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Anon plays scrabble | /r/Greentext


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F for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:01 No.794216180 Let's write a story one line at a time, I'll start >be me 35 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:06:39 No.794216218 >be f----- : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)11:07:02 No.794216236 -The end

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Anon is relieved. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:47:32 No.67995056 Daily reminder that if you don't look ANYTHING like this guy, aren't ATLEAST 6'5"ft+ tall and don't have a 10" inch+ penis OR don't make 7- figures USD annually, you will NEVER get laid without an escort in 2021. Prove me wrong, you stupid f------ f------. 91 KB JPG >protip; you LITERALLY can't. Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:50:46 No.67995077 >>67995056 (OP) >2021 Oh good, had me worried for a second there, lad.
Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:47:32 No.67995056 Daily reminder that if you don't look ANYTHING like this guy, aren't ATLEAST 6'5"ft+ tall and don't have a 10" inch+ penis OR don't make 7- figures USD annually, you will NEVER get laid without an escort in 2021. Prove me wrong, you stupid f------ f------. 91 KB JPG >protip; you LITERALLY can't. Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)06:50:46 No.67995077 >>67995056 (OP) >2021 Oh good, had me worried for a second there, lad.

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Anon Starts World War Crow

File: 1386662233025.jpg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg) as O Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752 9 So /b/ I've been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I'd share. > Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night. > They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night. > Was reading up on crows because f--- it, interested. > Apparently they're smart as s---. > They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated. > A wild idea appears. >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work. > I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can. > Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks. > Every time I go to mcd's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows. > They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my s---. > Tree crows throw nuts and try to s--- on me all the time (i dodge bird s--- like I dodge wrenches now) > Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's. >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows. > Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe. > Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out. > Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations. > World War Crow commences. >I am fueling it with french fries. Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845 Replies: >>520559326 > Both nations now jockeying for position near my work. > Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me. > After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm. >l expect the usual squawking and flapping as I walk out, but there's nothing. >I walk out from the covered entry way and look up. > All across the trees surrounding my building are crows. More than there have ever been before. > I recognize one of the grass bros in the tree closest to me. (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm fries) >I hear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder. > All hell breaks loose. > Crows flying all across the sky, and I can hardly see through the clown. > No wonder they call it a murder (huehue) Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960 9 >I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other. > Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right. > Sit in awe of what I've created. > Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins. > Only grassbros left. > Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me. > Has big scar across left eye. Gives no f----. >I stand, and all the grassbros look up to me. >I march across the street, and into mcd's, leaving the door open for all the crows to follow. > Cashiers face. >I order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros.
File: 1386662233025.jpg-(11 KB, 247x204, crow.jpg) as O Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:57:13 UTC-5 No.520558752 9 So /b/ I've been having fun over the past few weeks and figured I'd share. > Where I work there are thousands of crows that show up every single night. > They hang around for like 4 hours at night, then take off, and show up the next night. > Was reading up on crows because f--- it, interested. > Apparently they're smart as s---. > They recognize faces, and can form preferences in people depending on how they're treated. > A wild idea appears. >I start trying to piss off this group of crows that hang out in the trees near work. > I throw rocks at them, and shake the tree and chase them whenever I can. > Meanwhile, the grass crows across the street, just chill by the mcdicks. > Every time I go to mcd's, I get extra large fries, and feed the grass crows. > They start to like me, while the tree crows hate my s---. > Tree crows throw nuts and try to s--- on me all the time (i dodge bird s--- like I dodge wrenches now) > Grass crows still super bros, and now try to follow me when I walk into mcd's. >I keep this up for a few more weeks, and I'm noticing a bigger divide in the crows. > Grass crows now follow me across the road to make sure I get back to work safe. > Tree crows getting more aggressive and sit on my building and wait for me to walk out. > Ive created a great war between two formerly friendly nations. > World War Crow commences. >I am fueling it with french fries. Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:58:03 UTC-5 No.520558845 Replies: >>520559326 > Both nations now jockeying for position near my work. > Grass crows try to defend me as the Tree crows fly over me and throw nuts and rocks at me. > After a few days of tense defense/offense, all goes calm. >l expect the usual squawking and flapping as I walk out, but there's nothing. >I walk out from the covered entry way and look up. > All across the trees surrounding my building are crows. More than there have ever been before. > I recognize one of the grass bros in the tree closest to me. (Called him Reggie. Always gave him the warm fries) >I hear one squawk as one of the tree bros flies out and drops a rock on my shoulder. > All hell breaks loose. > Crows flying all across the sky, and I can hardly see through the clown. > No wonder they call it a murder (huehue) Anonymous 12/10/13(Tue)02:59:05 UTC-5 No.520558960 9 >I sit and watch as literally 1000-2000 crows charge at each other. > Bloodied bird carcasses falling left and right. > Sit in awe of what I've created. > Nearly an hour passes and the cloud thins. > Only grassbros left. > Reggie flies down to the ground and lands beside me. > Has big scar across left eye. Gives no f----. >I stand, and all the grassbros look up to me. >I march across the street, and into mcd's, leaving the door open for all the crows to follow. > Cashiers face. >I order 12 XL french fries, and celebrate my grand victory with the grassbros.

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Anon and death | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.
| Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)20:49:13 No.51799562 What happens when we die, seriously? 85 Replies / 15 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:36:52 No.51807552 : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)11:38:20 No.51807568 >>51799562 (OP) # You literally cannot die from your point of view. Ever had that moments when you could almost die from a simple mistake, but survived? Like, hit by a car if moved a little bit faster? Well, you actually died for everyone but you, because your conscious moved to the alternate universe where you didn't die, nobody knows how long you can live because 36 KB JPG nobody ever really died.

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anon encounters the hero gotham needs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents
Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents

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Anon ponders the SpongeBob lore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: y44kmIN5 Nickelodeon was dark 03/29/22(Tue)21:44:45 No.370088872 >Squidward moved to that Squidville place in that one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants >lt was populated exclusively by other squids, & was ethnically homogeneous 108 KB JPG >A security guard watching the gates explicitly stated that "your kind isn't allowed here" when SpongeBob and Patrick tried to get in This pretty much confirms the existence of segregated communities and sea racism in the world of SpongeBob. : Anonymous (ID: n+be6aLG 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:06 No.370089023 >>370088872 (OP) # you mean the Israel episode? : Anonymous (ID: ouQbDeyC ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:08 No.370089025 That episode is kino but Squidward getting sick of the place was a b------- parachute ending : Anonymous (ID: 4GliD8ml )[1 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:17 No.370089038 >>370088872 (OP) # There was literally zero crime in that segregated squid society
: Anonymous (ID: y44kmIN5 Nickelodeon was dark 03/29/22(Tue)21:44:45 No.370088872 >Squidward moved to that Squidville place in that one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants >lt was populated exclusively by other squids, & was ethnically homogeneous 108 KB JPG >A security guard watching the gates explicitly stated that "your kind isn't allowed here" when SpongeBob and Patrick tried to get in This pretty much confirms the existence of segregated communities and sea racism in the world of SpongeBob. : Anonymous (ID: n+be6aLG 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:06 No.370089023 >>370088872 (OP) # you mean the Israel episode? : Anonymous (ID: ouQbDeyC ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:08 No.370089025 That episode is kino but Squidward getting sick of the place was a b------- parachute ending : Anonymous (ID: 4GliD8ml )[1 03/29/22(Tue)21:46:17 No.370089038 >>370088872 (OP) # There was literally zero crime in that segregated squid society

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Anon is German | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Od7SiVZo ) O Are we the most retarded count(...) 03/28/22(Mon)17:08:24 No.369787927 gmny.png 20 KB PNG >shuts off all nuclear power plants >shuts off coal power plants >doesn't invest in renewable energy anymore >builds gas power plants >builds nord stream 2 to immediately kill it >stops importing Russian gas >???
: Anonymous (ID: Od7SiVZo ) O Are we the most retarded count(...) 03/28/22(Mon)17:08:24 No.369787927 gmny.png 20 KB PNG >shuts off all nuclear power plants >shuts off coal power plants >doesn't invest in renewable energy anymore >builds gas power plants >builds nord stream 2 to immediately kill it >stops importing Russian gas >???

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anon wants to be a wizard | /r/Greentext

onymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:16:23 No.54692176 >be very young anon >"Anon, what do you want to be when you grow up?" >"I want to be a wizard!" >"You mean like a stage magician or..." >"NO! I WANT TO BE A REAL WIZARD WITH REAL MAGIC!" 70 KB PNG >"Anon, magic isn't real. You have to pick something real." >later >"Hey anon, what do you want to be when you grow up?" (other person) >"W... Nothing." >"Really?" >"Yes. I don't want to be anything when I grow up." >fast forward to present day >l have amounted to nothing over the course of my life >pretty much just a friendless loser living in basement >still want to be a wizard
onymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:16:23 No.54692176 >be very young anon >"Anon, what do you want to be when you grow up?" >"I want to be a wizard!" >"You mean like a stage magician or..." >"NO! I WANT TO BE A REAL WIZARD WITH REAL MAGIC!" 70 KB PNG >"Anon, magic isn't real. You have to pick something real." >later >"Hey anon, what do you want to be when you grow up?" (other person) >"W... Nothing." >"Really?" >"Yes. I don't want to be anything when I grow up." >fast forward to present day >l have amounted to nothing over the course of my life >pretty much just a friendless loser living in basement >still want to be a wizard

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anon gets /fit/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)20:24:42 No.66110811 >mfw I sniff the seat of that one sweat drenched big booty gym thot 126 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)20:27:44 No.66110853 >>66110811 (OP) # describe the smell
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)20:24:42 No.66110811 >mfw I sniff the seat of that one sweat drenched big booty gym thot 126 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)20:27:44 No.66110853 >>66110811 (OP) # describe the smell

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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)15:11:49 No.875343393 i f------ hate women and im tired of pretending i dont >be me >just got out of 3 year relationship >f--- it try tinder >even after paying for gold only getting 3 155 KB JPG or 4 matches a day >basically all of them are f------ retards who cant shut up about smoking weed, napping and getting dutch brothers >good f------ lord do these people not have interests of any kind? >think im interesting, am a pilot, former D1 athlete, making 6 figures and over 6 foot, >still not finding women with any kind of worth on here, start figuring they're just not matching with me so i must be ugly or some s--- >f--- it, put bisexual mode >50. f------. likes. in an hour >gay dudes hitting on me makes me feel attractive >seriously honest to god start trying to be gay out of shear hatred for womens pickyness >doesn't work, d---- are gross >still hate women though good god why are they like this >pic related
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)15:11:49 No.875343393 i f------ hate women and im tired of pretending i dont >be me >just got out of 3 year relationship >f--- it try tinder >even after paying for gold only getting 3 155 KB JPG or 4 matches a day >basically all of them are f------ retards who cant shut up about smoking weed, napping and getting dutch brothers >good f------ lord do these people not have interests of any kind? >think im interesting, am a pilot, former D1 athlete, making 6 figures and over 6 foot, >still not finding women with any kind of worth on here, start figuring they're just not matching with me so i must be ugly or some s--- >f--- it, put bisexual mode >50. f------. likes. in an hour >gay dudes hitting on me makes me feel attractive >seriously honest to god start trying to be gay out of shear hatred for womens pickyness >doesn't work, d---- are gross >still hate women though good god why are they like this >pic related

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Holo-anon lives in Mexico | /r/Greentext


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Anon tries giving blowjob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.865731375 >be me >not gay >married >wife is terrible at b------- >easily gags >embarrasses her but she wants to get bettter >buy her realistic dildo to practice on in the shower >doesnt get any better >go to take shower >dildo still stuck to wall >"I doubt it's that f------ hard..." >Sticks dildo in mouth >deepthroats dido >"the f---?!" >start to throatfuck dildo >d--- gets rock f----- hard >d--- aches it's so rock f----- hard >leaks precum like a faucet. >masturbate >c-- in seconds >not gay >exit shower to tell wife it's not so hard to do >realize she's gonna ask how I know >realize that explaining would sound gay >she still isnt good at b------- >not gay
: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.865731375 >be me >not gay >married >wife is terrible at b------- >easily gags >embarrasses her but she wants to get bettter >buy her realistic dildo to practice on in the shower >doesnt get any better >go to take shower >dildo still stuck to wall >"I doubt it's that f------ hard..." >Sticks dildo in mouth >deepthroats dido >"the f---?!" >start to throatfuck dildo >d--- gets rock f----- hard >d--- aches it's so rock f----- hard >leaks precum like a faucet. >masturbate >c-- in seconds >not gay >exit shower to tell wife it's not so hard to do >realize she's gonna ask how I know >realize that explaining would sound gay >she still isnt good at b------- >not gay

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anon finds the path | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >I'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)15:40:45 No.61062269 >I'm 27 and don't enjoy anything anymore >read the New Testament >become a Christian >Start practicing nofap >get a job 80 KB JPG >fix my relationship with my parents >start fasting and exercising frequently >quit p--- and m----------- >start practicing guitar >meditate everyday for 15 minutes >suddenly everything becomes enjoyable again >Even the sunlight is beautiful >walking down a forest trail is incredible >feel the best I've felt in years I'm 27 and I'm starting to enjoy things again. Is this the beginning of the road?

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