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Anon leaves his house. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets dominated by a cockroach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The s------- episode 02/15/19(Fri)09:01:33 No.50985132 >Taking a s--- >A huge cockroach comes out of a little hole in the wall facing me >It just stands there, then turns sideways and twitches its antenna everywhere >Motionlessly stare at it >lt stops all motion too 104 KB JPG >Drop a s--- in the toilet >lt drops a s--- at pretty much the same time >Then it turns around and nonchalantly walks back into the hole I don't know of any words to accurately describe how this scenario made me feel.
: Anonymous The s------- episode 02/15/19(Fri)09:01:33 No.50985132 >Taking a s--- >A huge cockroach comes out of a little hole in the wall facing me >It just stands there, then turns sideways and twitches its antenna everywhere >Motionlessly stare at it >lt stops all motion too 104 KB JPG >Drop a s--- in the toilet >lt drops a s--- at pretty much the same time >Then it turns around and nonchalantly walks back into the hole I don't know of any words to accurately describe how this scenario made me feel.

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

>be me, fembot >friends with the weird kid in class >still a cool guy besides a bit of weirdness >videocall with him >he's showing me his room, pulling out random objects like cool books 62 KB JPG or videogame discs >"anon, check this out" >ok.jpg >he pulls out a little bag >it was filled with teeth >w-- >"uhhh im gonna go to bed now" >promptly leave call im still gonna be friends with him but like what the f---, there were MULTIPLE teeth in there too, not just one
>be me, fembot >friends with the weird kid in class >still a cool guy besides a bit of weirdness >videocall with him >he's showing me his room, pulling out random objects like cool books 62 KB JPG or videogame discs >"anon, check this out" >ok.jpg >he pulls out a little bag >it was filled with teeth >w-- >"uhhh im gonna go to bed now" >promptly leave call im still gonna be friends with him but like what the f---, there were MULTIPLE teeth in there too, not just one

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Anon doesn't believe in technology | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)01:56:12 No.8709340 >so uh yeah basically you press a bunch of buttons and out of nowhere you are talking with someone thousands of miles 12:22 away They didn't even try and make it believable 27 KB JPG IGLISA NOKIA
Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)01:56:12 No.8709340 >so uh yeah basically you press a bunch of buttons and out of nowhere you are talking with someone thousands of miles 12:22 away They didn't even try and make it believable 27 KB JPG IGLISA NOKIA

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)18:30:13 No.875388121 >be me then >19 seasons old >alt girl metalhead dirty stoner gf >covid happens >be me now >21 >have nobody >alone 53 KB JPG >no friends >go to this hellhole of a soul draining site just to talk to people >turn into neet seriously what the f--- happened after 2020?? feels like 2020 was a satanic ritual event
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)18:30:13 No.875388121 >be me then >19 seasons old >alt girl metalhead dirty stoner gf >covid happens >be me now >21 >have nobody >alone 53 KB JPG >no friends >go to this hellhole of a soul draining site just to talk to people >turn into neet seriously what the f--- happened after 2020?? feels like 2020 was a satanic ritual event

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Anon talks about Japan’s royal family | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: aqK9JSIU) E Japan is running out of heirs 03/30/22(Wed)18:21:12 No.370243316 >Japan has a royal family, with the current Emperor being 62 year old Naruhito >it has been steadily shrinking over the years, and succession is 104 KB JPG becoming a problem >There's only two male heirs for the current emperor. There's 56 year old Crown Prince Fumihito and his 15 year old son Hisahito. There's also Prince Hitachi but he's 86 and never had any kids (his dad was Hirohito to give you an idea of how long he's been around) >there's a ton of women in the Royal family, but they couldn't become Emperor because they're women >80% of Japanese people wouldn't mind having an Empress, but the government doesn't give a s--- & wants to keep things the way they are because "muh tradition" >there's seven people in the royal family under the age of 40, and only one of them is male (Hisahito, the 15 year old) >the Japanese government decides not to make any changes to the succession laws, praying to God that Hisahito will have a son when he's older (but not with a commoner because that's sorta frowned upon) >if Hisahito doesn't have a son, then the 2,600 year old unbroken patrilineal Imperial line would be thrown into an existential crisis Why not just change the succession laws? It's not like they're in a position to be picky since there's only two guys left in the whole line of succession. Would allowing women to become Emperor really be the end of Japan?
: Anonymous (ID: aqK9JSIU) E Japan is running out of heirs 03/30/22(Wed)18:21:12 No.370243316 >Japan has a royal family, with the current Emperor being 62 year old Naruhito >it has been steadily shrinking over the years, and succession is 104 KB JPG becoming a problem >There's only two male heirs for the current emperor. There's 56 year old Crown Prince Fumihito and his 15 year old son Hisahito. There's also Prince Hitachi but he's 86 and never had any kids (his dad was Hirohito to give you an idea of how long he's been around) >there's a ton of women in the Royal family, but they couldn't become Emperor because they're women >80% of Japanese people wouldn't mind having an Empress, but the government doesn't give a s--- & wants to keep things the way they are because "muh tradition" >there's seven people in the royal family under the age of 40, and only one of them is male (Hisahito, the 15 year old) >the Japanese government decides not to make any changes to the succession laws, praying to God that Hisahito will have a son when he's older (but not with a commoner because that's sorta frowned upon) >if Hisahito doesn't have a son, then the 2,600 year old unbroken patrilineal Imperial line would be thrown into an existential crisis Why not just change the succession laws? It's not like they're in a position to be picky since there's only two guys left in the whole line of succession. Would allowing women to become Emperor really be the end of Japan?

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Anon makes a mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)21:34:11 No.875335487 please patiem T have an >be me >feeling sick >go to urgent care >doctor comes in >"okay anon l'm going to do a strep test" 117 KB PNG >close eyes and gag loudly >open eyes >"anon, I haven't even put the swab in your mouth yet" Why am I so retarded?
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)21:34:11 No.875335487 please patiem T have an >be me >feeling sick >go to urgent care >doctor comes in >"okay anon l'm going to do a strep test" 117 KB PNG >close eyes and gag loudly >open eyes >"anon, I haven't even put the swab in your mouth yet" Why am I so retarded?

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Anon gets ready for a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21(Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne >going on a date? 9 KB JPG >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.
: Anonymous 01/02/21(Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne >going on a date? 9 KB JPG >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.

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unrealistic | /r/Greentext

File: ed899e47420e465d559248a17(...).jpg (90 KB, 1080x1080) Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)22:55:25 No.224328585 >>224328775 >>224328788 >>224328922 >>224329463 >>224329653 >>224329929 >>224329942 >Character is supposed to be British >ls physically attractive
File: ed899e47420e465d559248a17(...).jpg (90 KB, 1080x1080) Anonymous 06/21/21(Mon)22:55:25 No.224328585 >>224328775 >>224328788 >>224328922 >>224329463 >>224329653 >>224329929 >>224329942 >Character is supposed to be British >ls physically attractive

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Anon is indecisive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous am i a p------------? 03/30/22(Wed)21:30:01 No.68000467 >be me >at vending machines wanting to get something >whatdoiget >theres a kid behind me >hear him say he wants a twix >i see that there are 4 twix left >i buy all 4 twix for myself 58 KB JPG >leave
: Anonymous am i a p------------? 03/30/22(Wed)21:30:01 No.68000467 >be me >at vending machines wanting to get something >whatdoiget >theres a kid behind me >hear him say he wants a twix >i see that there are 4 twix left >i buy all 4 twix for myself 58 KB JPG >leave

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Anon has been radicalized | /r/Greentext

Fall-Of-Roman-Empire.jpg 225 KB JPG Daily reminder that 100+ billion people have lived and died before you were born. And 99.9999% were "right-wing extremists" by today's standards. If they were alive today they would be even more p----- off than you are. And they would be unbelievably violent. Imagine 100 billion people smiling upon you from heaven as you fight leftist scum.
Fall-Of-Roman-Empire.jpg 225 KB JPG Daily reminder that 100+ billion people have lived and died before you were born. And 99.9999% were "right-wing extremists" by today's standards. If they were alive today they would be even more p----- off than you are. And they would be unbelievably violent. Imagine 100 billion people smiling upon you from heaven as you fight leftist scum.

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Anon is a Arizona ranger | /r/Greentext

>be me >arizona ranger >chief tells me to go some s------- town to get a guy called Texas Red >f-----.png >have heard from the guy before, he killed at least 20 men 16 KB JPG >s--- my pants twice on the way there >get there >the townsfolk keep looking at me weird >they keep looking at my huge revolver thats obviously not overcompensating for anything >try to do something and announce that im here to get Texas Red >i hear them laughing behind my back >finally the man appears >what the f--- he's like barely 24, but he dosent look worried at all >he challenges me to a duel >i feel s--- running down my leg >the time comes >townsfolk assume im already dead >fire early out of pure fear >h-------- he's dead >the whole town is looking at me >i just ride out of there drowning in shame >mfw years later some f----- makes a song about it >mfw im a hero >mfw they will never know
>be me >arizona ranger >chief tells me to go some s------- town to get a guy called Texas Red >f-----.png >have heard from the guy before, he killed at least 20 men 16 KB JPG >s--- my pants twice on the way there >get there >the townsfolk keep looking at me weird >they keep looking at my huge revolver thats obviously not overcompensating for anything >try to do something and announce that im here to get Texas Red >i hear them laughing behind my back >finally the man appears >what the f--- he's like barely 24, but he dosent look worried at all >he challenges me to a duel >i feel s--- running down my leg >the time comes >townsfolk assume im already dead >fire early out of pure fear >h-------- he's dead >the whole town is looking at me >i just ride out of there drowning in shame >mfw years later some f----- makes a song about it >mfw im a hero >mfw they will never know

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Anon copes with his loss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy will never go to the track meet/swim >you meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #
: Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)13:12:55 No.65711497 >>65711465 # >you will never princess carry a tomboy while she lightly punches you in the shoulders and calls you lame >you will never be hanging out with a tomboy when a storm hits and find out she's cripplingly terrified of 557 KB JPG thunder >you will never get /fit/ with a tomboy will never go to the track meet/swim >you meet/softball game/football game/judo match of your tomboy gf and cheer her on as she kicks everyone's ass, then have her run into the stands to hug you after she wins and tell you she knew she had to do her best when she saw you in the stands >you will never help a tomboy study for her big test so she gets a good enough grade to stay on the team >a tomboy will never attempt to cook for you and f--- it all up becaue she's never cooked in her life but you eat it anyways just to see her smile >you will never coerce a tomboy into wearing a frilly, girly dress and watch as she squirms around all self- conscious and shy >>65711591 # >>65711837 # >>65711874 # >>65712178 #

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anon is DEPRESSED | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol
Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol

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Anon ask other anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: hmp6hQ1D ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:27:16 No.47620448 >anon, you know so much about finance and have so much money. How come you don't have a girlfriend yet? what's the correct rebuttle here 210 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: goYmHx5d ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:29:41 No.47620508 >>47620448 (OP) Because women are a net negative on finance 99.99% of the time, retard.
Anonymous (ID: hmp6hQ1D ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:27:16 No.47620448 >anon, you know so much about finance and have so much money. How come you don't have a girlfriend yet? what's the correct rebuttle here 210 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: goYmHx5d ) 03/29/22(Tue)21:29:41 No.47620508 >>47620448 (OP) Because women are a net negative on finance 99.99% of the time, retard.

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Meme by anon | /r/Greentext


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Anon thinks he's a calculator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)10:28:35 No.67997047 >be me, 26 year old >not a single social skill in my brain >but I can do math like it's my job >numbers just make sense in my head >l still text with a random kid from school 374 KB JPG >he's retarded >l'm pretty sure I am too >he sends me random life event texts every day >s--- like "I'm late for swim class cuz I can't find my fins" >l'm a good friend so I do the math for him >reply "you have two feet so you need to find two fins" >another day, another equation solved So do any of you help your friend with your math brain? Or is there any math can do for you?
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)10:28:35 No.67997047 >be me, 26 year old >not a single social skill in my brain >but I can do math like it's my job >numbers just make sense in my head >l still text with a random kid from school 374 KB JPG >he's retarded >l'm pretty sure I am too >he sends me random life event texts every day >s--- like "I'm late for swim class cuz I can't find my fins" >l'm a good friend so I do the math for him >reply "you have two feet so you need to find two fins" >another day, another equation solved So do any of you help your friend with your math brain? Or is there any math can do for you?

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Anon talks about a subreddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8juV2Fgl Reddit actually did something ...) 03/29/22(Tue)22:26:53 No.370093301 >be me >r/GenZedong >infested with Communist zoomers and Chinese Nationalists >go on and on about how Communism is so great and how they think the whole world should 60 KB JPG embrace Marxism, and how they want Mr. Xi to rail them in the ass >regularly deny atrocities that occurred under Communist regimes, and use whataboutism about all of the bad stuff the USA did >say that the Uyghurs are all terrorists funded by the CIA, and that they'd throw firecrackers at them if they saw one of them on the street >go to other subs and spread their Communist propaganda to every orifice of Reddit >permaban anyone who says anything remotely bad about the CCP 2022 Russian Invasion of Ukraine happens >the whole sub praises Russia for fighting American imperialism in Ukraine >Reddit admins decide to quarantine the sub because their members are s-------- >all of the r/GenZedong users bitch about Reddit not supporting freedom of speech and being controlled by dirty capitalist bourgeoisie Rest in piss r/GenZedong. You always sucked
: Anonymous (ID: 8juV2Fgl Reddit actually did something ...) 03/29/22(Tue)22:26:53 No.370093301 >be me >r/GenZedong >infested with Communist zoomers and Chinese Nationalists >go on and on about how Communism is so great and how they think the whole world should 60 KB JPG embrace Marxism, and how they want Mr. Xi to rail them in the ass >regularly deny atrocities that occurred under Communist regimes, and use whataboutism about all of the bad stuff the USA did >say that the Uyghurs are all terrorists funded by the CIA, and that they'd throw firecrackers at them if they saw one of them on the street >go to other subs and spread their Communist propaganda to every orifice of Reddit >permaban anyone who says anything remotely bad about the CCP 2022 Russian Invasion of Ukraine happens >the whole sub praises Russia for fighting American imperialism in Ukraine >Reddit admins decide to quarantine the sub because their members are s-------- >all of the r/GenZedong users bitch about Reddit not supporting freedom of speech and being controlled by dirty capitalist bourgeoisie Rest in piss r/GenZedong. You always sucked

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Anon posts his number on | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me. 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know "of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to thinki was gonna axe murder him.
| Anonymous 09/06/16(Tue)00:35:04 No.702755839 >three years ago >really drunk >post my number on 4chan asking someone to call me and tell me a story til i fall asleep >this bald m------------ right here calls me. 234 KB JPG >tells me a story about a bear who switches places with a human for a day >many keks til i fall asleep >becomes a weekly ritual >time goes on and its less stories and more general conversation >three years later hes getting married >asks me to be the best man in his wedding >whythefucknot.jpg >fly up the coast to stay at his house for the weekend >friends and family all know "of' me so its kinda weird >but everyones really f------ chill especially his friends probably one of the best weekends of my life, all thanks to /b/. and to thinki was gonna axe murder him.

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