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Anon hates flag earth memes | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous (ID: EBkj4uoV 01/24/21(Sun)02:33:20 No.30475727 >>304756844 (OP) # I have been doing breathing exercises for weeks. Meditation and thoughtfulness as well obviously. I'm building up my psychic powers and focusing my chakras. When that one anon who spams the flat Earth memes in humor threads starts posting here, I plan to track him down through the astral plane and kill him with my mind. >>304758927 # >>304760779 # >>304761341 # >>304762102 # >>304762245 # >>304762284 # >>304762643 # >>304762706 # >>304763021 # >>304763066 # >>304763103 # >>304763337 # >>304763517 # >>304764137 # >>304764323 # >>304765116 # >>304765216 # >>304765334 # >>304765359 # >>304765534 # >>304766176 # >>304766257 # >>304766522 #
| Anonymous (ID: EBkj4uoV 01/24/21(Sun)02:33:20 No.30475727 >>304756844 (OP) # I have been doing breathing exercises for weeks. Meditation and thoughtfulness as well obviously. I'm building up my psychic powers and focusing my chakras. When that one anon who spams the flat Earth memes in humor threads starts posting here, I plan to track him down through the astral plane and kill him with my mind. >>304758927 # >>304760779 # >>304761341 # >>304762102 # >>304762245 # >>304762284 # >>304762643 # >>304762706 # >>304763021 # >>304763066 # >>304763103 # >>304763337 # >>304763517 # >>304764137 # >>304764323 # >>304765116 # >>304765216 # >>304765334 # >>304765359 # >>304765534 # >>304766176 # >>304766257 # >>304766522 #

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anon roasts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)03:12:19 No.598927615 >>598927815 >>598927926 >>598929305 File: 1412379029099.jpg (60 KB, 604x453) don't be to rude thanks- AA Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)03:14:02 No.598927926 >>598929028 >>598929097 >>598929134 >>59 >>598927615 Hey Kimmy. I like your new glasses. Hi, Tiffany. The curls are looking sweet. "Sup, Dra'nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Congrats on stomping that village yesterday.
Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)03:12:19 No.598927615 >>598927815 >>598927926 >>598929305 File: 1412379029099.jpg (60 KB, 604x453) don't be to rude thanks- AA Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)03:14:02 No.598927926 >>598929028 >>598929097 >>598929134 >>59 >>598927615 Hey Kimmy. I like your new glasses. Hi, Tiffany. The curls are looking sweet. "Sup, Dra'nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Congrats on stomping that village yesterday.

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Anon didn't have sexual relations with a watermelon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: GKaNVGpd ) 02/26/14(Wed)21:05:52 UTC-8 >be 20 >heard you can f--- watermelons >buys personal watermelon >cuts a round hole >starts f------ watermelon >took like 40mins >not much better than fapping >felt shame >buried melon in a shallow grave >come summer time melons grew in the backyard >family eats them >"you don't want any melon anon?" >no Never had watermelon since
Anonymous (ID: GKaNVGpd ) 02/26/14(Wed)21:05:52 UTC-8 >be 20 >heard you can f--- watermelons >buys personal watermelon >cuts a round hole >starts f------ watermelon >took like 40mins >not much better than fapping >felt shame >buried melon in a shallow grave >come summer time melons grew in the backyard >family eats them >"you don't want any melon anon?" >no Never had watermelon since

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Anon fights against crime | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:57:43 No.875478819 >Вe me >Middle School >Skinny as f--- kid who likes to draw >Get bullied a lot for it >One jock is extra hard on me >Same height but he is made out of muscle. >Makes my life hell >Scared for Life 34 КВ ЈPG >Decade later >Be Graphic Designer >Still skinny >Still like to Draw >Decide to look up Jock on Facebook >Still jacked up >Multiple pictures of him with cash. >He constantly spells money as "Mooonay" >One pictures shows a s----- skull tattoo on his wrist >Decide to turn my life around >Start going to the local gym >Work out intensively >Starting to gain some weight >After a while I get on the same muscle level as Jock >Its time for Revenge >Buy a Gun >Buy a Ski Mask >Henna draw the same stupid skull on my wrists. >Rob a Liqueur store, only communicating with a sticky note "Give me all your Monay" >Make sure that the clerk sees my tattoo >Get the money, leave the note on the ground 2 weeks later he got arrested. Turns out he was on parole for hitting his GF
Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:57:43 No.875478819 >Вe me >Middle School >Skinny as f--- kid who likes to draw >Get bullied a lot for it >One jock is extra hard on me >Same height but he is made out of muscle. >Makes my life hell >Scared for Life 34 КВ ЈPG >Decade later >Be Graphic Designer >Still skinny >Still like to Draw >Decide to look up Jock on Facebook >Still jacked up >Multiple pictures of him with cash. >He constantly spells money as "Mooonay" >One pictures shows a s----- skull tattoo on his wrist >Decide to turn my life around >Start going to the local gym >Work out intensively >Starting to gain some weight >After a while I get on the same muscle level as Jock >Its time for Revenge >Buy a Gun >Buy a Ski Mask >Henna draw the same stupid skull on my wrists. >Rob a Liqueur store, only communicating with a sticky note "Give me all your Monay" >Make sure that the clerk sees my tattoo >Get the money, leave the note on the ground 2 weeks later he got arrested. Turns out he was on parole for hitting his GF

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

>be 32 >be neuroscientist working on transferring consciousness to a computer >Newton is my idol >l sit under an apple tree to think all day 958 KB JPG >one day an apple falls from the tree and lands on a sapling >then it hits me. I know how to achieve singularity >I test my theory on rats first >s--- works >sell roborats to children to continue funding >I try it on monkeys as well >its funny to watch them wonder why they have no feces to throw >research progresses to the point where we can test it on humans >l volunteer to be the first human trial >coworkers build me a robot body >They begin downloading my consciousness >me.txt >the transfer was a success but they didn't give me a robot penis >tumblr will find a label for me >my robot brain is much better at solving problems and I am able to advance scientific progression tenfold >people start to envy my knowledge and immortality >rich people pay to have the procedure done while poor people can't afford it >the wealth gap grows exponentially >l foresee an inevitable war >build a spaceship with nuclear fusion reactor so I can ditch this sorry ass planet >l travel space and meet many forms of intelligent life >eventually I discover the key to true immortality beyond that of my robot body >I complete the process, but when I gaze into the eternal horizon, I think only of my childhood when everything was full of wonder >in that moment my only goal became reproducing the world that had sparked my fascination >l settle on a planet like earth and spend a week using nuclear fusion to reproduce the land and the oceans and genetic coding to recreate life >l create another apple tree to sit under so that I can ponder my existence >my memories of childhood seem to be all I can think about >finally I create a man and a woman to remind me of my innocence >that innocence is precious to me so l give them the one condition that they stay away from my apple tree >mfw that bitch didn't listen
>be 32 >be neuroscientist working on transferring consciousness to a computer >Newton is my idol >l sit under an apple tree to think all day 958 KB JPG >one day an apple falls from the tree and lands on a sapling >then it hits me. I know how to achieve singularity >I test my theory on rats first >s--- works >sell roborats to children to continue funding >I try it on monkeys as well >its funny to watch them wonder why they have no feces to throw >research progresses to the point where we can test it on humans >l volunteer to be the first human trial >coworkers build me a robot body >They begin downloading my consciousness >me.txt >the transfer was a success but they didn't give me a robot penis >tumblr will find a label for me >my robot brain is much better at solving problems and I am able to advance scientific progression tenfold >people start to envy my knowledge and immortality >rich people pay to have the procedure done while poor people can't afford it >the wealth gap grows exponentially >l foresee an inevitable war >build a spaceship with nuclear fusion reactor so I can ditch this sorry ass planet >l travel space and meet many forms of intelligent life >eventually I discover the key to true immortality beyond that of my robot body >I complete the process, but when I gaze into the eternal horizon, I think only of my childhood when everything was full of wonder >in that moment my only goal became reproducing the world that had sparked my fascination >l settle on a planet like earth and spend a week using nuclear fusion to reproduce the land and the oceans and genetic coding to recreate life >l create another apple tree to sit under so that I can ponder my existence >my memories of childhood seem to be all I can think about >finally I create a man and a woman to remind me of my innocence >that innocence is precious to me so l give them the one condition that they stay away from my apple tree >mfw that bitch didn't listen

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Anon knows about French Sudan | /r/Greentext

Flag of French_Sudan (1958-1959).svg.png 2 KB PNG Post Amazing historical flags. This is the flag of French Sudan I would love to be in the room when this flag was created. 'Pierre, what kind of flag should we pick?" "Honhonhon Gaston, we will pick le French Flag and add le niggur"
Flag of French_Sudan (1958-1959).svg.png 2 KB PNG Post Amazing historical flags. This is the flag of French Sudan I would love to be in the room when this flag was created. 'Pierre, what kind of flag should we pick?" "Honhonhon Gaston, we will pick le French Flag and add le niggur"

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Anon wants his friends back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous D 03/29/22(Tue)21:14:37 No.162144264 >there were initially no raccoons in Japan >in 1977 there was an anime about a raccoon >Japanese housewives thought they were cute and imported thousands of them as pets 237 KB JPG >raccoons don't make good pets, so most were released >these raccoons did incredibly well, multiplying rapidly >now raccoons are an invasive species here, devastating local biosystems and driving native species to extinction Have stupid housewives ruined anything in your country? : Anonymous [P] 03/29/22(Tue)21:15:56 No.162144301 Come home, frens.
: Anonymous D 03/29/22(Tue)21:14:37 No.162144264 >there were initially no raccoons in Japan >in 1977 there was an anime about a raccoon >Japanese housewives thought they were cute and imported thousands of them as pets 237 KB JPG >raccoons don't make good pets, so most were released >these raccoons did incredibly well, multiplying rapidly >now raccoons are an invasive species here, devastating local biosystems and driving native species to extinction Have stupid housewives ruined anything in your country? : Anonymous [P] 03/29/22(Tue)21:15:56 No.162144301 Come home, frens.

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Anon has no money. | /r/Greentext


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Anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext


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Anon speaks the truth | /r/Greentext


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Anon learns a language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:54:47 No.68021201 >ghosting lovebombing gaslighting ghostlighting benching breadcrumbing submarining zombieing mooning orbiting catfishing caspering cricketing cushioning fauxbaeing haunting hoovering marleying mosting roaching sidebarring slowfading stashing tuning why tf do i need to learn another language 9 KB JPG just to date? i think i'd rather learn japanese : Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)10:02:26 No.68021250 >>68021201 (OP) # >benching there's your problem f-----, you dont even f------ lift 459 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:54:47 No.68021201 >ghosting lovebombing gaslighting ghostlighting benching breadcrumbing submarining zombieing mooning orbiting catfishing caspering cricketing cushioning fauxbaeing haunting hoovering marleying mosting roaching sidebarring slowfading stashing tuning why tf do i need to learn another language 9 KB JPG just to date? i think i'd rather learn japanese : Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)10:02:26 No.68021250 >>68021201 (OP) # >benching there's your problem f-----, you dont even f------ lift 459 KB GIF

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Anon is home alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/19(Tue)00:30:42 No.793031754 >Be me >when was in high school >buy a sword and bucket helmet at a yard sale because they looked cool >parents go out of town to see older relative and leave me behind >Chilling in the basement on my pc >sword is hanging on the wall >All the lights are off in the above ground section of the house since my bedroom is below ground and my parents bitch when I leave lights on in room that I'm not in >lt is >Hear crash upstairs am >Grab sword >Grab helm >Creep upstairs >an "Urban youth" has smashed the glass out of the back door and is in my living room trying to steal a tv and some other valuables >Creep closer >he does not notice me until I am about five feet away >Rush him shouting "WHATCHU DOIN N----?" >Nog screams drops my stuff >chase his ass out into the yard and up the drive way with sword in hand >Chase him down the entire street >His buddy is waiting in the getaway car >He hops in and I hear him say "Floor it, there was some crazy n---- in the house with a f------ sword. >Friend laughs >sees me outside the car window >Face turns to a mask of horror >guns it down the street >Next day tell my parents that someone broke into the house but ran off when they saw me >To this day I wonder how I didn't get shot.
: Anonymous 02/19/19(Tue)00:30:42 No.793031754 >Be me >when was in high school >buy a sword and bucket helmet at a yard sale because they looked cool >parents go out of town to see older relative and leave me behind >Chilling in the basement on my pc >sword is hanging on the wall >All the lights are off in the above ground section of the house since my bedroom is below ground and my parents bitch when I leave lights on in room that I'm not in >lt is >Hear crash upstairs am >Grab sword >Grab helm >Creep upstairs >an "Urban youth" has smashed the glass out of the back door and is in my living room trying to steal a tv and some other valuables >Creep closer >he does not notice me until I am about five feet away >Rush him shouting "WHATCHU DOIN N----?" >Nog screams drops my stuff >chase his ass out into the yard and up the drive way with sword in hand >Chase him down the entire street >His buddy is waiting in the getaway car >He hops in and I hear him say "Floor it, there was some crazy n---- in the house with a f------ sword. >Friend laughs >sees me outside the car window >Face turns to a mask of horror >guns it down the street >Next day tell my parents that someone broke into the house but ran off when they saw me >To this day I wonder how I didn't get shot.

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Anon criticises porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:43:04 No.68021129 Why is writing in p--- so awful? >source: p--- ad on my screen >it starts out with a person, semi or completely naked >usually a guy with his veiny 12 incher >someone walks in, usually a girl >and instead of politely walking out or asking them to leave or put clothes on 59 KB JPG >they just... go straight to having sex??? >fake acting >unbelievable plot >just watching 2 people have sex in front of a camera >l mean, are you kidding me? >do you guys enjoy this? >can we get Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay to direct a p----?
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)09:43:04 No.68021129 Why is writing in p--- so awful? >source: p--- ad on my screen >it starts out with a person, semi or completely naked >usually a guy with his veiny 12 incher >someone walks in, usually a girl >and instead of politely walking out or asking them to leave or put clothes on 59 KB JPG >they just... go straight to having sex??? >fake acting >unbelievable plot >just watching 2 people have sex in front of a camera >l mean, are you kidding me? >do you guys enjoy this? >can we get Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay to direct a p----?

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Anon is proud of his height | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/18(Thu)22:12:52 No.44978082 >>44970221 # >be 6'5" >tell people l'm 6'2" >girls mirin >other guys that claim to be 6' or taller look like they are lying and 8 KB JPG insecure manlets Kek
: Anonymous 03/01/18(Thu)22:12:52 No.44978082 >>44970221 # >be 6'5" >tell people l'm 6'2" >girls mirin >other guys that claim to be 6' or taller look like they are lying and 8 KB JPG insecure manlets Kek

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Anon goes to prom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)13:44:33 No.68022907 >be me, 17 >3/10 sperg >mom works retail >tells me she has a coworker who needs a date to prom and knows she has a son >get pressured into going and eventually 169 KB JPG agree >fast forward to yesterday, prom night >mom drops me off at her house >briefly meet her parents and then almost immediately after she drives me to her school (I cannot drive still) >arrive at the school, go in and she introduces me to her friend group >about an hour goes by, thought I was doing okay. Only said a couple autistic things here and there >night ends >she drives me back home >before I exit the car she looks me in the eyes and says "Anon, I don't think you will ever be able to get a gf." >Silence >l say 'Thanks' >Exit her car and walk inside >Tell mom it was fine So do I kms now or what
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)13:44:33 No.68022907 >be me, 17 >3/10 sperg >mom works retail >tells me she has a coworker who needs a date to prom and knows she has a son >get pressured into going and eventually 169 KB JPG agree >fast forward to yesterday, prom night >mom drops me off at her house >briefly meet her parents and then almost immediately after she drives me to her school (I cannot drive still) >arrive at the school, go in and she introduces me to her friend group >about an hour goes by, thought I was doing okay. Only said a couple autistic things here and there >night ends >she drives me back home >before I exit the car she looks me in the eyes and says "Anon, I don't think you will ever be able to get a gf." >Silence >l say 'Thanks' >Exit her car and walk inside >Tell mom it was fine So do I kms now or what

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Anon has a hobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/22(Thu)21:46:24 No.875452053 >be me >normal Saturday routine >nice breakfast >coffee >gym during day >nap >watch sports game 22 KB PNG >dinner >1am rolls around >throw on hoodie and mask (Covid) >put my headphones on max volume >YouTube "10+ hours of woman terrified screaming" >walking into apartment buildings in my neighborhood >checking door knobs to see if they turn >push open doors but never enter >yell bloody murder into apartment and run >find outdoor cats >do what the voices tell me to do >always save the tails in my pocket >sprint towards woman walking alone on the street >run past them whispering "next time" >get home >brush teeth >bed time :)
: Anonymous 03/31/22(Thu)21:46:24 No.875452053 >be me >normal Saturday routine >nice breakfast >coffee >gym during day >nap >watch sports game 22 KB PNG >dinner >1am rolls around >throw on hoodie and mask (Covid) >put my headphones on max volume >YouTube "10+ hours of woman terrified screaming" >walking into apartment buildings in my neighborhood >checking door knobs to see if they turn >push open doors but never enter >yell bloody murder into apartment and run >find outdoor cats >do what the voices tell me to do >always save the tails in my pocket >sprint towards woman walking alone on the street >run past them whispering "next time" >get home >brush teeth >bed time :)

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Anon loves America. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)05:13:20 No.68021804 >get overnight job at home depot >most nights Im not even doing work because all the work is already done by previous workers >just walk around the store while reading/watching stuff on my phone for 8 hours 1005 KB GIF I'm really getting paid 17$ an hour for this s---. god bless america.
Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)05:13:20 No.68021804 >get overnight job at home depot >most nights Im not even doing work because all the work is already done by previous workers >just walk around the store while reading/watching stuff on my phone for 8 hours 1005 KB GIF I'm really getting paid 17$ an hour for this s---. god bless america.

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Christan Moment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4e6/0tjo Christians 03/31/22(Thu)18:27:05 No.370415748 >be Christan >be taught about "love and acceptance" >grow up >f------ hate jews and gays >mfw 5 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: 4e6/0tjo Christians 03/31/22(Thu)18:27:05 No.370415748 >be Christan >be taught about "love and acceptance" >grow up >f------ hate jews and gays >mfw 5 KB JPG

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Anon secretly just wanted to fuck his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >idea,jpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson
: Anonymous 12/03/21(Fri)01:18:32 No.66405526 >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >idea,jpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake 13 KB PNG name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson

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Anon likes cocks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/21(Tue)08:40:35 No.65906654 >neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but l'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens
: Anonymous 10/26/21(Tue)08:40:35 No.65906654 >neighbors suddenly have chickens >chickens make chicken noises >for some reason, this warms my heart >get woken up by chickens doing the funny chicken sounds and 231 KB JPG there's suddenly a smile on my face >exit my house to do some exercise and see the chickens in the neighbors' backyard >instantly feel great >not even sure if it's legal for them to own chickens, but l'm not going to complain >just feel really f------ happy whenever I hear them make their silly sounds Thanks chickens

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