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anon went shopping for a monitor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:44:13 No.594272865 20220402 184240.jpg 2.01 MB JPG I just bought a $1200 ultra wide monitor. What the F--- is this s---? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:45:00 No.594272945 should have bought an ultra wide game too >>594273780 # >>594274518 # >>594274716 # >>594275030 # >>594277783 # >>594278164 # >>594278293 # >>594278625 # >>594278736 # >>594280514 # >>594281504 # >>594282041 # >>594282075 # >>594284134 # >>594284886 # >>594285147 # >>594285496 # >>594285628 # >>594285852 # >>594285985 # >>594286393 # >>594289204 # >>594289714 # >>594289865 # >>594290075 # >>594290369 # >>594290465 #
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:44:13 No.594272865 20220402 184240.jpg 2.01 MB JPG I just bought a $1200 ultra wide monitor. What the F--- is this s---? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:45:00 No.594272945 should have bought an ultra wide game too >>594273780 # >>594274518 # >>594274716 # >>594275030 # >>594277783 # >>594278164 # >>594278293 # >>594278625 # >>594278736 # >>594280514 # >>594281504 # >>594282041 # >>594282075 # >>594284134 # >>594284886 # >>594285147 # >>594285496 # >>594285628 # >>594285852 # >>594285985 # >>594286393 # >>594289204 # >>594289714 # >>594289865 # >>594290075 # >>594290369 # >>594290465 #

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So wholesome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061306 >be me >look at contacts >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >ffw first friend
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061306 >be me >look at contacts >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >ffw first friend

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anon invokes nostalgia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)23:49:55 No.875565770 >see lots of memes about people listening to the songs, playing the games and watching the movies from their childhood to trigger nostalgia of simpler, happy, innocent days >wow sounds fun I should try that >hey cool this movie I used to watch 34 KB JPG over and over again as a kid is on netflix >start watching, the feelings and memories of childhood come back >oh f--- right I forgot, I didn't have a happy childhood >put the movie away and go watch p--- for comfort
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)23:49:55 No.875565770 >see lots of memes about people listening to the songs, playing the games and watching the movies from their childhood to trigger nostalgia of simpler, happy, innocent days >wow sounds fun I should try that >hey cool this movie I used to watch 34 KB JPG over and over again as a kid is on netflix >start watching, the feelings and memories of childhood come back >oh f--- right I forgot, I didn't have a happy childhood >put the movie away and go watch p--- for comfort

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No rules, just right | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)01:18:40 No.52801182 >>52801023 # Australia doesn't sound like a real place if you described it to someone >kangaroos give birth inside a f------ belly pocket for their babies, which also contains their n------. Young kangaroos literally just chill in their mother's womb while they grow until it's time to be an adult >koalas brains are completely smooth and they're so stupid they think people are trees >innocuous plants contain many years worth of torture in one touch >the natives didn't discover fire or invent the wheel until the British Empire started shipping felons there >Australia's national food is a slice of bread covered in butter and sprinkles I mean if you explained this to an alien they'd think you were just f------ with them >>52801328 # >>52802922 #
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)01:18:40 No.52801182 >>52801023 # Australia doesn't sound like a real place if you described it to someone >kangaroos give birth inside a f------ belly pocket for their babies, which also contains their n------. Young kangaroos literally just chill in their mother's womb while they grow until it's time to be an adult >koalas brains are completely smooth and they're so stupid they think people are trees >innocuous plants contain many years worth of torture in one touch >the natives didn't discover fire or invent the wheel until the British Empire started shipping felons there >Australia's national food is a slice of bread covered in butter and sprinkles I mean if you explained this to an alien they'd think you were just f------ with them >>52801328 # >>52802922 #

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Anon figures out female armor | /r/Greentext

File: more like harlot.png (424 KB, 637x927) Anonymous 05/30/17(Tue)12:41:22 No.378557220 >>378557434 >>378557509 >>378557579 >>378557753 >>378557789 >>378557806 >>378557906 >>378558130 >>378558237>>378558465 >>378558886 >>378559158 >>378560293 >>378560434 >>378561104 >>378564201>>378564672>>378565228 >>378566152 >>378566880 >>378568172 >>378572801>>378579604 >>378580629 >>378581015 >>378581089 >>378581965 >>378583175 >>378588996 >>378589802 >>378593402 >>378595429 >>378597120 >>378598820 >>378600406 >>378603129 >>378604059 >>378606441 >>378607231 >>378610561 Just what the F--- is she wearing? She's suppose to be a soldier right? Why the F--- is she wearing what's basically a god damn bikini out in the battlefield? Is she TRYING to get herself r---- and killed? Is she seriously this f------ retarded? Anonymous 05/30/17(Tue)12:42:28 No.378557310 >>378557975 >>378559280 >>378559296 >>378559836 >>378566420 >>378567225 >>378568272>>378568447>>378568803 >>378570675 >>378579740 >>378579752 >>378579975 >>378580203 >>378580612 >>378581629 >>378583403 >>378584512 >>378585230 >>378585760 >>378585906 >>378586947 >>378587680 >>378587921 >>378590883 >>378592276 >>378593443 >>378595409 >>378601447 >>378601619 >>378602354 >>378605149 >>378605474 >>378606262 >>378606276 >>378606441 What I find most pathetic is the little pseudo-intellectual nerd fuckboys who think they're smart and totally perceptive for pointing out deisgn flaws in stupid gaudy armour. Like you want to make it clear to all your peers "I'm the smart one. I am the intellectual one. I understand combat and value logic above all" and you go on nitpicking this stupid s--- that is made purely for the f--- of it. The overwhelming irony of it all is that you're the biggest m------------ retard alive for actually believing you're the only one who can perceive the stratigic faults of these designs and thinking other people aren't as perceptive as you. here's a reality check you f------ c--- wrangler. Everyone is aware of these things. They don't spend hours whining about it on image boards and forums and f------ youtube comment sections. Not because they're stupid, uneducated or unperceptive. It's because it's insignificant s---, and they aren't insecure enough to go whine about trivial realism b------- in cheap, flashy entertainment. You're like the f------ that whines about people not knowing how bad fast food is for them because they continue to eat it. They know it's bad. They don't give a s---. You whiny little f-----.
File: more like harlot.png (424 KB, 637x927) Anonymous 05/30/17(Tue)12:41:22 No.378557220 >>378557434 >>378557509 >>378557579 >>378557753 >>378557789 >>378557806 >>378557906 >>378558130 >>378558237>>378558465 >>378558886 >>378559158 >>378560293 >>378560434 >>378561104 >>378564201>>378564672>>378565228 >>378566152 >>378566880 >>378568172 >>378572801>>378579604 >>378580629 >>378581015 >>378581089 >>378581965 >>378583175 >>378588996 >>378589802 >>378593402 >>378595429 >>378597120 >>378598820 >>378600406 >>378603129 >>378604059 >>378606441 >>378607231 >>378610561 Just what the F--- is she wearing? She's suppose to be a soldier right? Why the F--- is she wearing what's basically a god damn bikini out in the battlefield? Is she TRYING to get herself r---- and killed? Is she seriously this f------ retarded? Anonymous 05/30/17(Tue)12:42:28 No.378557310 >>378557975 >>378559280 >>378559296 >>378559836 >>378566420 >>378567225 >>378568272>>378568447>>378568803 >>378570675 >>378579740 >>378579752 >>378579975 >>378580203 >>378580612 >>378581629 >>378583403 >>378584512 >>378585230 >>378585760 >>378585906 >>378586947 >>378587680 >>378587921 >>378590883 >>378592276 >>378593443 >>378595409 >>378601447 >>378601619 >>378602354 >>378605149 >>378605474 >>378606262 >>378606276 >>378606441 What I find most pathetic is the little pseudo-intellectual nerd fuckboys who think they're smart and totally perceptive for pointing out deisgn flaws in stupid gaudy armour. Like you want to make it clear to all your peers "I'm the smart one. I am the intellectual one. I understand combat and value logic above all" and you go on nitpicking this stupid s--- that is made purely for the f--- of it. The overwhelming irony of it all is that you're the biggest m------------ retard alive for actually believing you're the only one who can perceive the stratigic faults of these designs and thinking other people aren't as perceptive as you. here's a reality check you f------ c--- wrangler. Everyone is aware of these things. They don't spend hours whining about it on image boards and forums and f------ youtube comment sections. Not because they're stupid, uneducated or unperceptive. It's because it's insignificant s---, and they aren't insecure enough to go whine about trivial realism b------- in cheap, flashy entertainment. You're like the f------ that whines about people not knowing how bad fast food is for them because they continue to eat it. They know it's bad. They don't give a s---. You whiny little f-----.

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Anon learns a trade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:46:41 No.875559943 >tired of the last 6 years spent stagnant >decide to end it >remember my uncle gifted me a revolver >it's a .22 >f---, but aye hollow points >wonder if i have any pills >benadryl >look at my options and think of how 43 KB JPG pathetic it is >start to laugh >slight breakdown of laughing and crying >phone vibrates >my brother-in-law >says he feels bad i've been unhappy with my dead end job, want to know if i'm open to becoming an electrician like he is >offers to help me every part of the way "i know it's not your thing, anon, but i think it could benefit you in the long run" >looking at pills and gun again "alright. thanks, man" that was about 3 years back. dude unknowingly pulled me up at a low point in my life, and introduced me to a trade i really enjoy. this is gay ass ramble, but i'm just thankful to be in a better place than have missed out on how much better things could be.
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:46:41 No.875559943 >tired of the last 6 years spent stagnant >decide to end it >remember my uncle gifted me a revolver >it's a .22 >f---, but aye hollow points >wonder if i have any pills >benadryl >look at my options and think of how 43 KB JPG pathetic it is >start to laugh >slight breakdown of laughing and crying >phone vibrates >my brother-in-law >says he feels bad i've been unhappy with my dead end job, want to know if i'm open to becoming an electrician like he is >offers to help me every part of the way "i know it's not your thing, anon, but i think it could benefit you in the long run" >looking at pills and gun again "alright. thanks, man" that was about 3 years back. dude unknowingly pulled me up at a low point in my life, and introduced me to a trade i really enjoy. this is gay ass ramble, but i'm just thankful to be in a better place than have missed out on how much better things could be.

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >lt has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >lt has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon has Doubts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XYCEVX21 ) 09/21/19(Sat)17:27:35 No.227259124 Couple with identity disorders who have over 400 personalities between them reveal they sometimes go a day without eating - because their child 'alter-egos' don't know how to COOK 1530080215421.png 550 KB PNG >>227259177 # >>227259884 # >>227263545 # >>227263762 # >>227264453 Anonymous (ID: EDBV+uQ3 09/21/19(Sat)17:28:27 No.227259177 >>227259124 # >sometimes go a day without eating doubt.jpg
: Anonymous (ID: XYCEVX21 ) 09/21/19(Sat)17:27:35 No.227259124 Couple with identity disorders who have over 400 personalities between them reveal they sometimes go a day without eating - because their child 'alter-egos' don't know how to COOK 1530080215421.png 550 KB PNG >>227259177 # >>227259884 # >>227263545 # >>227263762 # >>227264453 Anonymous (ID: EDBV+uQ3 09/21/19(Sat)17:28:27 No.227259177 >>227259124 # >sometimes go a day without eating doubt.jpg

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Anon is suicidal | /r/Greentext

File: 3C805C2F-AF53-4F05-9E80-1(.).jpg (280 KB, 1470x1462) O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:15:22 No.875549730 >>875549850 >>875550059 >be me 19 year old suicidal idiot >too much of a p---- to end my life > working as cashier cleanining self register machines cause its covid >i might finally do it today. >some chad looking sees me pondering and decideds to do small talk with me >he makes jokes about saturday and says i look good. >i cant help but to smile like a dumbass. >he gives me a fist bump and leaves. My day suddenly got better because of him. Thank you random chad.
File: 3C805C2F-AF53-4F05-9E80-1(.).jpg (280 KB, 1470x1462) O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)17:15:22 No.875549730 >>875549850 >>875550059 >be me 19 year old suicidal idiot >too much of a p---- to end my life > working as cashier cleanining self register machines cause its covid >i might finally do it today. >some chad looking sees me pondering and decideds to do small talk with me >he makes jokes about saturday and says i look good. >i cant help but to smile like a dumbass. >he gives me a fist bump and leaves. My day suddenly got better because of him. Thank you random chad.

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Literally shaking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:02:55 No.66163962 1648887243270.png 991 KB PNG What's his routine? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:03:54 No.66163969 >>66163962 (OP) # resistance training >66163984 # >>66164244 # >>66165153 #
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:02:55 No.66163962 1648887243270.png 991 KB PNG What's his routine? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:03:54 No.66163969 >>66163962 (OP) # resistance training >66163984 # >>66164244 # >>66165153 #

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Anon gets fit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)15:47:05 No.68038546 marg gun.png 243 KB PNG >be me, 20 virgin, out of shape and no confident >vow that ill start getting /fit/ for my future wife/gf >ffw 5 years >fit, feel slightly better about myself than 6 years ago >all my out of shape, skinny friends are getting engaged, married, in long term relationships >oneitis getting engaged to one of her old bfs >best friends wedding is next month >25 y/o no gf At least I still have my gains...
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)15:47:05 No.68038546 marg gun.png 243 KB PNG >be me, 20 virgin, out of shape and no confident >vow that ill start getting /fit/ for my future wife/gf >ffw 5 years >fit, feel slightly better about myself than 6 years ago >all my out of shape, skinny friends are getting engaged, married, in long term relationships >oneitis getting engaged to one of her old bfs >best friends wedding is next month >25 y/o no gf At least I still have my gains...

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Anon plays league of legends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)14:20:06 No.68037812 How do you anons cope with wasting your prime? >accidentally hear bit rush >it's league login music from when I started playing 6 years ago >6 years, I was 18 then >suddenly realize I wasted my entire prime 573 KB PNG >l spent 18-24 alone in my room playing vidya or on 4chins/youtube >l started playing league right before my freshman year of college >spent that entire year alone in my dorm instead of making friends >grinded soloq instead of meeting girls and going to parties >similar story from 18-24 >immense sense of sadness and permanent loss overtakes me >if any anons who are going to college next year see this >do not turn out like me >do not waste your life inside your room alone >f------ leave your dorm room and talk to people on your floor >that's all it takes to not be me >but that's exactly what I never got the stones to do >oh and also prep before college >looksmax, work on your mental health/social skills, dorm decorations >f------ be prepared, college is easy as f--- academically >you need to be prepared socially and mentally, unlike me >don't be a bitter old retard on r9k at 25 >don't be me
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)14:20:06 No.68037812 How do you anons cope with wasting your prime? >accidentally hear bit rush >it's league login music from when I started playing 6 years ago >6 years, I was 18 then >suddenly realize I wasted my entire prime 573 KB PNG >l spent 18-24 alone in my room playing vidya or on 4chins/youtube >l started playing league right before my freshman year of college >spent that entire year alone in my dorm instead of making friends >grinded soloq instead of meeting girls and going to parties >similar story from 18-24 >immense sense of sadness and permanent loss overtakes me >if any anons who are going to college next year see this >do not turn out like me >do not waste your life inside your room alone >f------ leave your dorm room and talk to people on your floor >that's all it takes to not be me >but that's exactly what I never got the stones to do >oh and also prep before college >looksmax, work on your mental health/social skills, dorm decorations >f------ be prepared, college is easy as f--- academically >you need to be prepared socially and mentally, unlike me >don't be a bitter old retard on r9k at 25 >don't be me

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Anon embraces atheism | /r/Greentext

Search OPs. [Catalog] [Archive] File: 71fqopG+GvL.jpg (230 KB, 800x1168) Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)19:51:38 No.20155378 [Reply] THE BRICK BBLE >>20159335 >be me THE COMPITI THE BRICK BIBLE >7 y/o THE COMPLETE SET >read lots of childrens bibles >go to bookstore one day >sees Lego Bible >i loved lego and being christian so sure why not >buys and reads the Lego Bible >70% of the book is full of detailed gore >wholesome bible stories that i loved reading about are instead bleak and depressing >end of the book basically says im gonna burn in hell since my family has a slightly higher income than regular people >after finishing it, i'm broken and in denial >asks my mom if all this is true >mfw she says yes I'm an atheist now e45 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view.
Search OPs. [Catalog] [Archive] File: 71fqopG+GvL.jpg (230 KB, 800x1168) Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)19:51:38 No.20155378 [Reply] THE BRICK BBLE >>20159335 >be me THE COMPITI THE BRICK BIBLE >7 y/o THE COMPLETE SET >read lots of childrens bibles >go to bookstore one day >sees Lego Bible >i loved lego and being christian so sure why not >buys and reads the Lego Bible >70% of the book is full of detailed gore >wholesome bible stories that i loved reading about are instead bleak and depressing >end of the book basically says im gonna burn in hell since my family has a slightly higher income than regular people >after finishing it, i'm broken and in denial >asks my mom if all this is true >mfw she says yes I'm an atheist now e45 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view.

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anon is palestinian | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous E 04/02/22(Sat)10:45:47 No.162325624 File: 1648699550507.png (148 KB, 723x444) >walk into convenience store >pakistani man greets me >grab alcohol >got to register and show ID >"brother, were are you from?" >tell him I'm palestinian >he gets happy, starts talking and being very nice >"brother why are you drinking?" >tell him I'm a christcuck >immediately stops talking >doesn't call me brother anymore
O Anonymous E 04/02/22(Sat)10:45:47 No.162325624 File: 1648699550507.png (148 KB, 723x444) >walk into convenience store >pakistani man greets me >grab alcohol >got to register and show ID >"brother, were are you from?" >tell him I'm palestinian >he gets happy, starts talking and being very nice >"brother why are you drinking?" >tell him I'm a christcuck >immediately stops talking >doesn't call me brother anymore

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Anon needs a hobby | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)03:20:25 No.875532080 >be me >17 >gf broke up with me, sad >decide to try alcohol because mom had unlocked liquor cabinet >get drunk, fun.jpeg >ffw 2 years later >20 18 KB JPG >drinking heavily every weekend with friends, partying, having a great time >start drinking more and more on my own >start wondering if I have a problem >try weed for the first time >pandemic happens >quit drinking altogether and only smoke weed >having a great time, feel great without alcohol >ffw one year later >21 >weed f---- me over and every time I smoke I get paranoid >start drinking again >drinking heavier than ever, can go to bars now >make a massive fool of myself by drinking my weight in booze >22 now >drinking multiple times a week, killing a pint each time >start getting horid hangovers, tons of nausea >talk to doc, says I have alcoholic gastritis and an elevated ALT count >quit drinking >cant drink, cant smoke >bored as hell what do people even do without drugs? how do i cope
Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)03:20:25 No.875532080 >be me >17 >gf broke up with me, sad >decide to try alcohol because mom had unlocked liquor cabinet >get drunk, fun.jpeg >ffw 2 years later >20 18 KB JPG >drinking heavily every weekend with friends, partying, having a great time >start drinking more and more on my own >start wondering if I have a problem >try weed for the first time >pandemic happens >quit drinking altogether and only smoke weed >having a great time, feel great without alcohol >ffw one year later >21 >weed f---- me over and every time I smoke I get paranoid >start drinking again >drinking heavier than ever, can go to bars now >make a massive fool of myself by drinking my weight in booze >22 now >drinking multiple times a week, killing a pint each time >start getting horid hangovers, tons of nausea >talk to doc, says I have alcoholic gastritis and an elevated ALT count >quit drinking >cant drink, cant smoke >bored as hell what do people even do without drugs? how do i cope

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Anon is a workplace bully | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)14:39:05 No.875540509 >slow time at work, talking with co-workers about things >can't remember what the subject started with, but we were talking about people changing names >this one dude is personally offended by the concept, so personally that I had to ask him why >he explains that he hates trans people, and they change their names, and that's why he thinks people changing names is bad and evil >l chime in to say I personally don't give a f--- about what other people wanna do, if someone tells me that their name is Pigeon then I'm gonna call them Pigeon >this dude is now so mad that he's red in the face "Well what if I told you I want to be called - idk f--- it - Captain Fancypants? And then get f------ offended when you don't?" "I mean if that's what you wanted to be called then imma just call you that." "I don't believe you." >he dares me to do it for a month and I do >first morning he's surprised I even remembered that >a few people ask about it and I explain the situation >they start correcting each other when one of them accidentally uses his real name "Oh he goes by Captain Fancypants now." >soon everyone's picked up on calling him that >l get a summons from the HR >they tell me that he told them what's going on >there were two witnesses to the conversation, full proof that I was the one who started this >mfw I'm the one getting in HR trouble for respecting his preferences
O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)14:39:05 No.875540509 >slow time at work, talking with co-workers about things >can't remember what the subject started with, but we were talking about people changing names >this one dude is personally offended by the concept, so personally that I had to ask him why >he explains that he hates trans people, and they change their names, and that's why he thinks people changing names is bad and evil >l chime in to say I personally don't give a f--- about what other people wanna do, if someone tells me that their name is Pigeon then I'm gonna call them Pigeon >this dude is now so mad that he's red in the face "Well what if I told you I want to be called - idk f--- it - Captain Fancypants? And then get f------ offended when you don't?" "I mean if that's what you wanted to be called then imma just call you that." "I don't believe you." >he dares me to do it for a month and I do >first morning he's surprised I even remembered that >a few people ask about it and I explain the situation >they start correcting each other when one of them accidentally uses his real name "Oh he goes by Captain Fancypants now." >soon everyone's picked up on calling him that >l get a summons from the HR >they tell me that he told them what's going on >there were two witnesses to the conversation, full proof that I was the one who started this >mfw I'm the one getting in HR trouble for respecting his preferences

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Anon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Everyone in the Kitchen Hates (...) 04/02/22(Sat)00:41:24 No.26142111 TL;DR I made a s--- joke and now everyone thinks I'm retarded and I don't know how to fix it >Be me >Start new job at a restaurant as a chef de partie >Head chef gathers all the kitchen 49 KB PNG staff and gives us the agenda for the day >He tells us we're going to be trialing a recipe he came up with for a cream based sauce >Asks if we have any questions >I raise my hand and jokingly ask if he has any recipes for a cream cringe sauce >He stares at me blankly >I try to explain that cringe is the opposite of based >He tells me he still doesn't get it >l continue trying to explain what based and cringe mean >Chef sighs and says "Yeah the hiring manager told me you were a bit of a spastic" Everyone in the kitchen is calling me "Spastic" now Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 5 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous Everyone in the Kitchen Hates (...) 04/02/22(Sat)00:41:24 No.26142111 TL;DR I made a s--- joke and now everyone thinks I'm retarded and I don't know how to fix it >Be me >Start new job at a restaurant as a chef de partie >Head chef gathers all the kitchen 49 KB PNG staff and gives us the agenda for the day >He tells us we're going to be trialing a recipe he came up with for a cream based sauce >Asks if we have any questions >I raise my hand and jokingly ask if he has any recipes for a cream cringe sauce >He stares at me blankly >I try to explain that cringe is the opposite of based >He tells me he still doesn't get it >l continue trying to explain what based and cringe mean >Chef sighs and says "Yeah the hiring manager told me you were a bit of a spastic" Everyone in the kitchen is calling me "Spastic" now Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 5 Replies View Thread

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Anon was not expecting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)22:01:53 UTC-4 No.512860348 be me >be living in small rural town >a few rich people too >one of them is my neighbor >is a doctor and also owns a little motel called the Spanish Inn >pic related, is of motel room >life is pretty good >ff to last year >the inn burns down >doctor and his wife file for insurance >insurance inspectors show up, working with police >they find evidence that it was arson based on the burn pattern in the timbers >he says it was probably electrical as the inn had aluminum wiring >taken to court court case is most exciting thing in town >side note: town is so small they have to import a jury bc everyone else knows him >the case lasts for weeks >they have good evidence but can't quite pin him >ff again, day 22 of case >judge is tired of this >prosecution pulls all the stops >mid-testimony his wife breaks down cries in court >tells everyone it was insurance fraud because the inn was falling apart and doc wanted money >everyone trusted him simply for being a doctor >whole town in shock >that's when it hits me >nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician
Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat)22:01:53 UTC-4 No.512860348 be me >be living in small rural town >a few rich people too >one of them is my neighbor >is a doctor and also owns a little motel called the Spanish Inn >pic related, is of motel room >life is pretty good >ff to last year >the inn burns down >doctor and his wife file for insurance >insurance inspectors show up, working with police >they find evidence that it was arson based on the burn pattern in the timbers >he says it was probably electrical as the inn had aluminum wiring >taken to court court case is most exciting thing in town >side note: town is so small they have to import a jury bc everyone else knows him >the case lasts for weeks >they have good evidence but can't quite pin him >ff again, day 22 of case >judge is tired of this >prosecution pulls all the stops >mid-testimony his wife breaks down cries in court >tells everyone it was insurance fraud because the inn was falling apart and doc wanted money >everyone trusted him simply for being a doctor >whole town in shock >that's when it hits me >nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician

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Anon should get a little help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has Lady troubles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)08:33:50 No.875542711 >be me >train ever since I was a child to be as masculine as I can be and to be strong af >ffw to now >l am most masculine guy in my 52 KB JPG instituition >Beaten up strongest kid because he attacked me >Basically strongest boy in school and everyone knows it >Pretty decent looking and muscular build >girls start liking BTS f------ >basically half femboys and oestrogen fueled f---- >No girl shows interest in me because im masculine mfw everyone stopped liking masculine guys and I haven't ever had a gf
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)08:33:50 No.875542711 >be me >train ever since I was a child to be as masculine as I can be and to be strong af >ffw to now >l am most masculine guy in my 52 KB JPG instituition >Beaten up strongest kid because he attacked me >Basically strongest boy in school and everyone knows it >Pretty decent looking and muscular build >girls start liking BTS f------ >basically half femboys and oestrogen fueled f---- >No girl shows interest in me because im masculine mfw everyone stopped liking masculine guys and I haven't ever had a gf

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