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Motives beyond comprehension | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)10:19:24 No.52824975 83n39.jpg 69 KB JPG >invades country >achieves no objectives >loses hundreds of pieces of armor and thousands of soldiers >refuses to elaborate >leaves >>52825012 # >>52825065 # >>52825136 # >>52825195 # >>52825337 # >>52825846 #
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)10:19:24 No.52824975 83n39.jpg 69 KB JPG >invades country >achieves no objectives >loses hundreds of pieces of armor and thousands of soldiers >refuses to elaborate >leaves >>52825012 # >>52825065 # >>52825136 # >>52825195 # >>52825337 # >>52825846 #

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Anon lives in 2096 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/20(Wed)06:19:34 No.818514482 >the year is 2096 >getting ready for my date at the cyberbar >dress up in formal, carbon-neutral datewear >leave apartment and lock door with microchip implant >hop in old Tesla Model Z >arrive at location in 2 minutes because 358 KB PNG optimized autonomous traffic >walk up to date, who I met on atheistconnect.net >cyber-visor blocking 90% of their face >"Consent to send sound data to you?" >granted >identifies themself as an organic cis-gendered macro- anion >hot >buy her a drink of vegan, flavored amino acids and vitamins >she tells me her hobbies are designing VR houses and going outside >tell her I collect old, forgotten bitcoin hashes >Ask her if she wants to leave and head back to my place >"consent confirmed" >immediately we start eating each other's ass as foreplay >things start getting heavy >she sticks her cyberclit in my prostate >l orgasm 27 times before she halts the program >we upload our consciousness to a computer so we can experience sex as 29 different alien lifeforms >exit virtual reality >"I had a really Elon time with you, anon." >leaves and never hear from her again The future is f------ awesome
: Anonymous 01/15/20(Wed)06:19:34 No.818514482 >the year is 2096 >getting ready for my date at the cyberbar >dress up in formal, carbon-neutral datewear >leave apartment and lock door with microchip implant >hop in old Tesla Model Z >arrive at location in 2 minutes because 358 KB PNG optimized autonomous traffic >walk up to date, who I met on atheistconnect.net >cyber-visor blocking 90% of their face >"Consent to send sound data to you?" >granted >identifies themself as an organic cis-gendered macro- anion >hot >buy her a drink of vegan, flavored amino acids and vitamins >she tells me her hobbies are designing VR houses and going outside >tell her I collect old, forgotten bitcoin hashes >Ask her if she wants to leave and head back to my place >"consent confirmed" >immediately we start eating each other's ass as foreplay >things start getting heavy >she sticks her cyberclit in my prostate >l orgasm 27 times before she halts the program >we upload our consciousness to a computer so we can experience sex as 29 different alien lifeforms >exit virtual reality >"I had a really Elon time with you, anon." >leaves and never hear from her again The future is f------ awesome

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anon hates normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:02:16 No.67954092 >normies force me to go to family gathering >at the dinner table a baby sits next to me >he drops his hat >pick it up 43 KB JPG >he drops it again >pick it up >the little f----- does it again >pick ut up >he does it again >get mad and shout at him >he starts to cry >every single normie goes a------ AAAAAAAAAA I hate normies so f------ much 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:46:22 No.67955235 >>67954092 (OP) # After the second time you should have put the hat on your own head and given the baby a smug look, that's instantly what came to mind as I read your post.
: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)23:02:16 No.67954092 >normies force me to go to family gathering >at the dinner table a baby sits next to me >he drops his hat >pick it up 43 KB JPG >he drops it again >pick it up >the little f----- does it again >pick ut up >he does it again >get mad and shout at him >he starts to cry >every single normie goes a------ AAAAAAAAAA I hate normies so f------ much 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:46:22 No.67955235 >>67954092 (OP) # After the second time you should have put the hat on your own head and given the baby a smug look, that's instantly what came to mind as I read your post.

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anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:25:03 No.68058761 >try to buy gun >kind of just hover around the hunting section Ishimin >dont get the courage to approach clerk 51 KB JPG >go home 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:25:03 No.68058761 >try to buy gun >kind of just hover around the hunting section Ishimin >dont get the courage to approach clerk 51 KB JPG >go home 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Why is anon like this? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:11 No.68058253 >argue with a coworker about a project >give him one argument after another to support my point >coworker finally agrees with me >suddenly want to argue the opposite opinion >tell him "nevermind you were right before" >he gives me a death stare and leaves the 23 KB JPG room why am I like this : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:59 No.68058266 >>68058253 (OP). Because you subconsciously wish to take d--- in the ass. >>68058307 #
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:11 No.68058253 >argue with a coworker about a project >give him one argument after another to support my point >coworker finally agrees with me >suddenly want to argue the opposite opinion >tell him "nevermind you were right before" >he gives me a death stare and leaves the 23 KB JPG room why am I like this : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)16:43:59 No.68058266 >>68058253 (OP). Because you subconsciously wish to take d--- in the ass. >>68058307 #

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Anon solves a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:36:03 No.875662094 ok f------ take notes. >be in public >walk up to hot girl and tell her you want to f--- her >if she says yes, then f--- her. >if she says no or acts disgusted, then turn to the side and show her the earpiece in your ear and that you are actually just Don't resign. 128 KB JPG talking on the phone and she feels so embarrassed. there idiots I just solved f------ for you.
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)09:36:03 No.875662094 ok f------ take notes. >be in public >walk up to hot girl and tell her you want to f--- her >if she says yes, then f--- her. >if she says no or acts disgusted, then turn to the side and show her the earpiece in your ear and that you are actually just Don't resign. 128 KB JPG talking on the phone and she feels so embarrassed. there idiots I just solved f------ for you.

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

3h (4/3 16:53) · 68056000 9 Re · 0 Img · JPG 292KB (1500 × 2100) 7 Replies >34 year old man >haven't beat off to real women in almost a decade >every single day I beat to cute teenage anime girls >can't even get hard to real women anymore and just want to blow ropes to teenage anime girls Am I irreparably broken?
3h (4/3 16:53) · 68056000 9 Re · 0 Img · JPG 292KB (1500 × 2100) 7 Replies >34 year old man >haven't beat off to real women in almost a decade >every single day I beat to cute teenage anime girls >can't even get hard to real women anymore and just want to blow ropes to teenage anime girls Am I irreparably broken?

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Anon goes to china | /r/Greentext

My 25 turkey sandwich 火鸡三明治 sat r >be me >Job in China as a foreigner >try to learn the language but pronunciation is tough >saying ching chong can only get me so far >want a turkey sandwich for lunch every day >go to a tattoo parlor and tat that bad boy >every time I go to a restaurant I just flex my arms at the hot Chinese waitresses >works every time boys
My 25 turkey sandwich 火鸡三明治 sat r >be me >Job in China as a foreigner >try to learn the language but pronunciation is tough >saying ching chong can only get me so far >want a turkey sandwich for lunch every day >go to a tattoo parlor and tat that bad boy >every time I go to a restaurant I just flex my arms at the hot Chinese waitresses >works every time boys

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Idk if this has been posted before but its good | /r/Greentext

39% 8:47 PM /b/ /b/ BOARDS /B/ 716313601 716320298 Anonymous | 716321829 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, l'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. 5 REPLIES
39% 8:47 PM /b/ /b/ BOARDS /B/ 716313601 716320298 Anonymous | 716321829 1 hr. ago >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, l'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. 5 REPLIES

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Anon is a zoomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way?
: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way?

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Say anons name | /r/Greentext

File: ikyiuoka7d421.jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49:22 No.150720588 >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh. bros??
File: ikyiuoka7d421.jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49:22 No.150720588 >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh. bros??

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incel anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:21:48 No.68058722 >Find the perfect girl in the first semester of college >Don't ask her out fast enough >She's already dating some other loser >Now you know she is getting pounded by that f----- every night 2 KB JPG Why is it all so tiresome? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:24:26 No.68058752 You hardly knew her yet you're upset she's exercising her free will to sleep with another man? Get over yourself. You aren't owed s---. >>68058784 #
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:21:48 No.68058722 >Find the perfect girl in the first semester of college >Don't ask her out fast enough >She's already dating some other loser >Now you know she is getting pounded by that f----- every night 2 KB JPG Why is it all so tiresome? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:24:26 No.68058752 You hardly knew her yet you're upset she's exercising her free will to sleep with another man? Get over yourself. You aren't owed s---. >>68058784 #

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Anon has faith in the system. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #

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Anon’s date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:50:33 No.875626860 > be me > virgin > finally out with 3.14qt > we cuddle, everything seems fine > out of nowhere she asked me: "What p--- do you like?" > "Stepsis or POV" (I know that I am 158 KB JPG normalfag) "and what about you?" > "I like lesbians" > W--.jpg > My happiness is gone > mfw she is lesbian and she is catfishing me Why are women like this? Imagine in the evening she wrote me “Perfect date anon" I didnt even respond I am actually done with women
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:50:33 No.875626860 > be me > virgin > finally out with 3.14qt > we cuddle, everything seems fine > out of nowhere she asked me: "What p--- do you like?" > "Stepsis or POV" (I know that I am 158 KB JPG normalfag) "and what about you?" > "I like lesbians" > W--.jpg > My happiness is gone > mfw she is lesbian and she is catfishing me Why are women like this? Imagine in the evening she wrote me “Perfect date anon" I didnt even respond I am actually done with women

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Anon dupes money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread

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Anon discusses guns in Japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZurpTZFR Japan has some of the strictes(...) 04/03/22(Sun)13:06:33 No.370960677 >the least realistic part of any anime is a Japanese person somehow obtaining a handgun 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: ZurpTZFR Japan has some of the strictes(...) 04/03/22(Sun)13:06:33 No.370960677 >the least realistic part of any anime is a Japanese person somehow obtaining a handgun 50 KB JPG

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Anon has a caterpillar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar

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Anon texts a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)14:56:15 No.68054340 iMessage Monday 11:20 pm It's Morgs it's dylo sleep tight xxxx have sweet dreams Thursday 5:35 pm Did you wake up yet? Delivered Today 9:29 am Hey! Sorry for being so late in my reply been super busy with work, very tired. About our date l've actually changed my mind. I feel a bit smothered already because of the text messages, sorry and I hope you find what you're looking for x 92B97868-E053-4078-AF90-5040226E3CDB.jpg 104 KB JPG >send her a total of three texts >she gets the ick I just dont know what the f--- I am supposed to do
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)14:56:15 No.68054340 iMessage Monday 11:20 pm It's Morgs it's dylo sleep tight xxxx have sweet dreams Thursday 5:35 pm Did you wake up yet? Delivered Today 9:29 am Hey! Sorry for being so late in my reply been super busy with work, very tired. About our date l've actually changed my mind. I feel a bit smothered already because of the text messages, sorry and I hope you find what you're looking for x 92B97868-E053-4078-AF90-5040226E3CDB.jpg 104 KB JPG >send her a total of three texts >she gets the ick I just dont know what the f--- I am supposed to do

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Anon is a reddit admin | /r/Greentext

File: cartoonCat_reddit.png (798 KB, 1576x1740) Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)13:31:02 No.875622506 Eancadge DFTBAI >be reddit admin >morbidly obese >get bored of virtue signaling about le evil putin and Kiev - err Kyev >"muh innocent ukrainians" doesn't do it for you anymore idea.png >start /r/place as an April Fool's event, letting users create any pixel art they want on a canvas >1 day passes >already bored, so you use your admin powers to place pixels with no cooldown Reddit O @Reddit Replying to @hankgreen >erase a bunch of art for s---- and giggles >someone records you erasing a cartoon cat ohshit.jpeg >censor the F--- out of anyone who mentions you and your cheating streissandeffect.gif A masterpiece 3:25 PM Apr 1, 2022 - Twitter Web App >video of you cheating reaches the front page >turns out the cartoon cat you erased was created by Anton Dimitriev, a Ukrainian artist currently getting bombed by the Russians in Kharkiv. How did reddit f--- up their PR this bad?
File: cartoonCat_reddit.png (798 KB, 1576x1740) Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)13:31:02 No.875622506 Eancadge DFTBAI >be reddit admin >morbidly obese >get bored of virtue signaling about le evil putin and Kiev - err Kyev >"muh innocent ukrainians" doesn't do it for you anymore idea.png >start /r/place as an April Fool's event, letting users create any pixel art they want on a canvas >1 day passes >already bored, so you use your admin powers to place pixels with no cooldown Reddit O @Reddit Replying to @hankgreen >erase a bunch of art for s---- and giggles >someone records you erasing a cartoon cat ohshit.jpeg >censor the F--- out of anyone who mentions you and your cheating streissandeffect.gif A masterpiece 3:25 PM Apr 1, 2022 - Twitter Web App >video of you cheating reaches the front page >turns out the cartoon cat you erased was created by Anton Dimitriev, a Ukrainian artist currently getting bombed by the Russians in Kharkiv. How did reddit f--- up their PR this bad?

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Anon thinks of a pick up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes BURGER KING 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes BURGER KING 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #

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