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Anon's GF is kinky | /r/Greentext

>be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >l "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to climax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convuisions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!
>be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >l "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to climax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convuisions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!

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Anon can't win, even with a cheat code | /r/Greentext

>born in the most misogynist male- dominated female- oppressive culture where women have no 100 KB PNG say and society is geared towards helping you get married >still can't get a gf it's over : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)07:45:06 No.68050579 >>68050574 (OP) # You're not meant get a gf in those countries, you're meant to find a wife
>born in the most misogynist male- dominated female- oppressive culture where women have no 100 KB PNG say and society is geared towards helping you get married >still can't get a gf it's over : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)07:45:06 No.68050579 >>68050574 (OP) # You're not meant get a gf in those countries, you're meant to find a wife

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Anon doesn't have a tattoo I guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG
Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG

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Anon posts the frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG

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Self defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist
: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist

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Anon goes to Thailand | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 1 04/03/22(Sun)13:21:02 No.162395184 ► >"Watch out for ladyboys in Thailand haha" >"Don't worry, I know where to find them"
O Anonymous 1 04/03/22(Sun)13:21:02 No.162395184 ► >"Watch out for ladyboys in Thailand haha" >"Don't worry, I know where to find them"

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Anon posts on reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 : >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny
Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720631 : >be me >instagram normie >think all memes come from reddit >sign up for reddit, just passed 1 year >find out memes come from 4chan >be me Is there a place beyond 4chan? 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 34 minutos 774720676 >>774720631 (OP) 9gag 1 REPLY Anonymous Hace 33 minutos 774720703 >>774720676 and past that is ifunny

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anon went to the gunrange | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #

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Anon regrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:45:07 No.68043020 UL Bros... I f----- up... >Be NEET >Have bathroom connected to my room so don't have to piss in bottles >Bathroom has window that| leave open all day so the room airs out 40 KB JPG >Window is covered by net so bugs can't come in >But slugs still can because they compress themselves or some s--- >Just so happens that lots of slugs hang out outside the window for some reason >Always try to get rid of them peacefully, always liked slugs so l can't bring myself to kill them >See same slug come in every day >ldentifiable by size, bigger than all the others >Decide to call him slugbro and let him roam my bathroom, he always leaves on his own when it's bored of it >Even start leaving him bits of cabbage leaves from time to time >Sometimes let him come onto my finger and watch as he crawls around >Slugbro is my friend >Whenever I go to the bathroom in the morning, I see slugbro hanging out by the window waiting to be let in >Fast forward to 10 minutes ago >Need to s--- real bad >Go into the bathroom in a hurry >Sit down on the toilet and drop the most massive log that ever inhabited my bowels >Feel like my intestines are abandoning my body and like my anus is gonna prolapse at any moment >Eventually calm down after a while of exploding into my toilet >Feel something slimy in my leg >Get up from toilet >Slugbro is squelched on the seat >l killed my only friend Always thought he'd be killed by a bird someday, but instead this happened. He didn't deserve it... 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:47:35 No.68043043 Rip slugbro
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:45:07 No.68043020 UL Bros... I f----- up... >Be NEET >Have bathroom connected to my room so don't have to piss in bottles >Bathroom has window that| leave open all day so the room airs out 40 KB JPG >Window is covered by net so bugs can't come in >But slugs still can because they compress themselves or some s--- >Just so happens that lots of slugs hang out outside the window for some reason >Always try to get rid of them peacefully, always liked slugs so l can't bring myself to kill them >See same slug come in every day >ldentifiable by size, bigger than all the others >Decide to call him slugbro and let him roam my bathroom, he always leaves on his own when it's bored of it >Even start leaving him bits of cabbage leaves from time to time >Sometimes let him come onto my finger and watch as he crawls around >Slugbro is my friend >Whenever I go to the bathroom in the morning, I see slugbro hanging out by the window waiting to be let in >Fast forward to 10 minutes ago >Need to s--- real bad >Go into the bathroom in a hurry >Sit down on the toilet and drop the most massive log that ever inhabited my bowels >Feel like my intestines are abandoning my body and like my anus is gonna prolapse at any moment >Eventually calm down after a while of exploding into my toilet >Feel something slimy in my leg >Get up from toilet >Slugbro is squelched on the seat >l killed my only friend Always thought he'd be killed by a bird someday, but instead this happened. He didn't deserve it... 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)21:47:35 No.68043043 Rip slugbro

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Happy Ramadan | /r/Greentext

>be muslim >fast for ramadan >walk over to kitchen >trip and fall over >shawarma lands in my mouth (extra tahini) >apple slice lands in mouth >3L of water land in mouth >confess to imam later 34.9 kB JPG >he calls me a liar and kicks me out
>be muslim >fast for ramadan >walk over to kitchen >trip and fall over >shawarma lands in my mouth (extra tahini) >apple slice lands in mouth >3L of water land in mouth >confess to imam later 34.9 kB JPG >he calls me a liar and kicks me out

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Real gamer hours | /r/Greentext

vk.com/epiemuzik Anonymous 04/15/13(Mon)20:29 No.185678330 Replies: >185678521 >>185677546 >ffw you'll never have a cute gf who plays games in your lap and when she beats you at them she teases you while rubbing her butt on your d--- Anonymous 04/15/13(Mon)20:30 No.185678521 Replies: 2>185678705 File: 1366072253509.png-(9 KB, 271x288, 1281378111383 (1).png) >>185678330 >when she beats you what kind of f------ casual do you take me for VIA 9GAG.COM
vk.com/epiemuzik Anonymous 04/15/13(Mon)20:29 No.185678330 Replies: >185678521 >>185677546 >ffw you'll never have a cute gf who plays games in your lap and when she beats you at them she teases you while rubbing her butt on your d--- Anonymous 04/15/13(Mon)20:30 No.185678521 Replies: 2>185678705 File: 1366072253509.png-(9 KB, 271x288, 1281378111383 (1).png) >>185678330 >when she beats you what kind of f------ casual do you take me for VIA 9GAG.COM

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Anon uses arch btw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:04:14 No.63329932 >and heres our sons room, you can see hes different from the others 196 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:05:33 No.63329945 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)04:14:57 No.63330006 Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:27:57 No.63330507 : Anonymous 04/22/21(Thu)05:52:39 No.63330666 >>63329932 (OP) # >Oh, good morning, dear sir or madam. Do you have a moment to talk about open source software? 40 KB JPG

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RA196VWZ ) E13 04/02/22(Sat)20:39:09 No.370828086 >25 years old >Never worked in my life >Get a job at a warehouse >Get treated like a prisoner, literally have to walk through a barbed wire fence to get into the building >Then I have to take my shoes off 91 KB JPG and go through a metal detector >Once I'm actually inside I'm watched 24/7 by cameras and supervisors, not allowed to listen to music in one ear or do anything that isn't 100% concentrating on my job >Wouldn't even mind this except for the fact 40% of the workforce is redundant and never has anything to do, but you get bitched at for just standing about >Every day hundreds of people show up and pretend to be busy and drag 90 minutes of work out into an 8 hour shift >Quit after 3 days I don't understand why any human being would tolerate such a life. I'm not a suicidal or emotional person, but standing there at 5am in my hi-vis vest and uncomfortable steel toe cap boots my life literally flashed before my eyes and I saw myself wasting the next 40 years of my life doing literally nothing. And I just walked out. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just walked the f--- out and that first step outside was like l'd been born again. I swore I'd do ANYTHING to never go back in there. I'd live in the woods if I had to, subsisting off squirells. That life is no life for a white man.
: Anonymous (ID: RA196VWZ ) E13 04/02/22(Sat)20:39:09 No.370828086 >25 years old >Never worked in my life >Get a job at a warehouse >Get treated like a prisoner, literally have to walk through a barbed wire fence to get into the building >Then I have to take my shoes off 91 KB JPG and go through a metal detector >Once I'm actually inside I'm watched 24/7 by cameras and supervisors, not allowed to listen to music in one ear or do anything that isn't 100% concentrating on my job >Wouldn't even mind this except for the fact 40% of the workforce is redundant and never has anything to do, but you get bitched at for just standing about >Every day hundreds of people show up and pretend to be busy and drag 90 minutes of work out into an 8 hour shift >Quit after 3 days I don't understand why any human being would tolerate such a life. I'm not a suicidal or emotional person, but standing there at 5am in my hi-vis vest and uncomfortable steel toe cap boots my life literally flashed before my eyes and I saw myself wasting the next 40 years of my life doing literally nothing. And I just walked out. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just walked the f--- out and that first step outside was like l'd been born again. I swore I'd do ANYTHING to never go back in there. I'd live in the woods if I had to, subsisting off squirells. That life is no life for a white man.

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anon gets beat by his cable company | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/07/21(Thu)11:53:39 No.844224368 >be me >relaxing on couch >4 guys kick in front door with baseball bats >start to beat me 42 KB JPG >beating goes on for a few minutes >the biggest one spits on me and says 'pay your cable bill on time bitch!" >they leave >regain consciousness >crawl to phone to call cable company and file a complaint >lady tells me she will dispatch a customer care team to my location >mfw i see the same 4 guys coming up my driveway
: Anonymous 01/07/21(Thu)11:53:39 No.844224368 >be me >relaxing on couch >4 guys kick in front door with baseball bats >start to beat me 42 KB JPG >beating goes on for a few minutes >the biggest one spits on me and says 'pay your cable bill on time bitch!" >they leave >regain consciousness >crawl to phone to call cable company and file a complaint >lady tells me she will dispatch a customer care team to my location >mfw i see the same 4 guys coming up my driveway

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anon meets a dedline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)08:35:08 No.864431168 It's Prime Day Two days of epic deals prime day II 7E7592EC-C9BA-44C9-B905-57280EE72761.jpg 145 KB JPG >be Amazon marketing employee >Board wants an inclusive advertisement >struggle to think of anything >Bezos will face f--- me if I miss a deadline again >f--- it >submit the worst photo possible >mfw they f------ approved it
: Anonymous 10/05/21(Tue)08:35:08 No.864431168 It's Prime Day Two days of epic deals prime day II 7E7592EC-C9BA-44C9-B905-57280EE72761.jpg 145 KB JPG >be Amazon marketing employee >Board wants an inclusive advertisement >struggle to think of anything >Bezos will face f--- me if I miss a deadline again >f--- it >submit the worst photo possible >mfw they f------ approved it

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Anon goes to karaoke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous first time at karoke 04/02/22(Sat)20:00:17 No.68041082 >be me at karoke, first time ever >see shorty qt >she's probably got a bf and l'll never talk to her >she talks to me >had a bad breakup, has a lil kid >we hang out three weeks in a row at the karoke bar, singing, laughing, telling life 74 KB JPG stories >never get her contact, want to play it slow and see where it goes >she stops coming to karoke >I sit there all week >she never comes >remember her friends name, look her up on FB, look up mutuals >she's posting memes and stuff, all sad >want to message her and say hey remember me, but that's too creepy I feel like >she starts sending happy memes tagging a guy >l already know >her and guy post "in a relationship" after a week or two >"known each other" for 22 years (they're both 23) >guy finally got the girl he's been after his whole life >he looks like me, glasses, nerdy, also has a kid >they post such nice stuff to each other constantly I hope you live happily ever after.
: Anonymous first time at karoke 04/02/22(Sat)20:00:17 No.68041082 >be me at karoke, first time ever >see shorty qt >she's probably got a bf and l'll never talk to her >she talks to me >had a bad breakup, has a lil kid >we hang out three weeks in a row at the karoke bar, singing, laughing, telling life 74 KB JPG stories >never get her contact, want to play it slow and see where it goes >she stops coming to karoke >I sit there all week >she never comes >remember her friends name, look her up on FB, look up mutuals >she's posting memes and stuff, all sad >want to message her and say hey remember me, but that's too creepy I feel like >she starts sending happy memes tagging a guy >l already know >her and guy post "in a relationship" after a week or two >"known each other" for 22 years (they're both 23) >guy finally got the girl he's been after his whole life >he looks like me, glasses, nerdy, also has a kid >they post such nice stuff to each other constantly I hope you live happily ever after.

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Anon doesn’t get Wikipedia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:13:44 No.875582038 ( Back W List of ethnic slurs + Add article description The following is a list of ethnic slurs or ethnophaulisms or ethnic epithets that are, or have been, used as insinuations or allegations about members of a given ethnicity or racial group or to refer to them in a derogatory, pejorative, or otherwise insulting manner. 1741158E-3A80-4E8B-99CF-C9C56B94C99A.jpg 108 KB JPG >what the f--- does Wikipedia expect us to do with this information? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:14:33 No.875582084 Do you think wikipedia has expectations? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:14:44 No.875582092 add to it
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:13:44 No.875582038 ( Back W List of ethnic slurs + Add article description The following is a list of ethnic slurs or ethnophaulisms or ethnic epithets that are, or have been, used as insinuations or allegations about members of a given ethnicity or racial group or to refer to them in a derogatory, pejorative, or otherwise insulting manner. 1741158E-3A80-4E8B-99CF-C9C56B94C99A.jpg 108 KB JPG >what the f--- does Wikipedia expect us to do with this information? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:14:33 No.875582084 Do you think wikipedia has expectations? : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:14:44 No.875582092 add to it

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:17:13 No.68041980 >one chance at life >born with the fat gene Why 172 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:24:01 No.68042054 >>68041980 (OP) # >Why Sorry OPese, some of us are destined to suffer : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:25:13 No.68042066 >>68041980 (OP) # What is holding you from going out right now and running 2h fatass
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:17:13 No.68041980 >one chance at life >born with the fat gene Why 172 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:24:01 No.68042054 >>68041980 (OP) # >Why Sorry OPese, some of us are destined to suffer : Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)20:25:13 No.68042066 >>68041980 (OP) # What is holding you from going out right now and running 2h fatass

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Bread and circuses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)01:19:20 No.68044137 >feeling depressed af >browse social media >see literal two digits IQ primates boasting about how theyre gonna become billionaires from an obscure ecoin 34 KB JPG >immediately feel better about myself
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)01:19:20 No.68044137 >feeling depressed af >browse social media >see literal two digits IQ primates boasting about how theyre gonna become billionaires from an obscure ecoin 34 KB JPG >immediately feel better about myself

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