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Say anons name | /r/Greentext

File: ikyiuoka7d421.jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49:22 No.150720588 >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh. bros??
File: ikyiuoka7d421.jpg (42 KB, 646x595) O Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)05:49:22 No.150720588 >watching a TV show >all of a sudden a character stops and looks directly into the camera >recites my full name, date of birth, address, social security number, and the outfit I'm currently wearing >show resumes like nothing happened Uh. bros??

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incel anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:21:48 No.68058722 >Find the perfect girl in the first semester of college >Don't ask her out fast enough >She's already dating some other loser >Now you know she is getting pounded by that f----- every night 2 KB JPG Why is it all so tiresome? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:24:26 No.68058752 You hardly knew her yet you're upset she's exercising her free will to sleep with another man? Get over yourself. You aren't owed s---. >>68058784 #
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:21:48 No.68058722 >Find the perfect girl in the first semester of college >Don't ask her out fast enough >She's already dating some other loser >Now you know she is getting pounded by that f----- every night 2 KB JPG Why is it all so tiresome? 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)06:24:26 No.68058752 You hardly knew her yet you're upset she's exercising her free will to sleep with another man? Get over yourself. You aren't owed s---. >>68058784 #

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Anon has faith in the system. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #
: Anonymous 03/30/22(Wed)23:10:09 No.52759179 >>52758997 (OP) # >go to gun range >saw staff denying guy in fursuit entry due to mental health concerns Made my day >>52764832 #

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Anon’s date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:50:33 No.875626860 > be me > virgin > finally out with 3.14qt > we cuddle, everything seems fine > out of nowhere she asked me: "What p--- do you like?" > "Stepsis or POV" (I know that I am 158 KB JPG normalfag) "and what about you?" > "I like lesbians" > W--.jpg > My happiness is gone > mfw she is lesbian and she is catfishing me Why are women like this? Imagine in the evening she wrote me “Perfect date anon" I didnt even respond I am actually done with women
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)21:50:33 No.875626860 > be me > virgin > finally out with 3.14qt > we cuddle, everything seems fine > out of nowhere she asked me: "What p--- do you like?" > "Stepsis or POV" (I know that I am 158 KB JPG normalfag) "and what about you?" > "I like lesbians" > W--.jpg > My happiness is gone > mfw she is lesbian and she is catfishing me Why are women like this? Imagine in the evening she wrote me “Perfect date anon" I didnt even respond I am actually done with women

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Anon dupes money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)09:23:35 No.854084977 >be me >find half a dollar note on ground >bring it to bank to get full dollar >gets idea >rips dollar note >get full dollar for one half >get another dollar for the other 29 KB JPG half at a different bank >have 2 dollars >mfw I find money duplication glitch View Thread

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Anon discusses guns in Japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZurpTZFR Japan has some of the strictes(...) 04/03/22(Sun)13:06:33 No.370960677 >the least realistic part of any anime is a Japanese person somehow obtaining a handgun 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: ZurpTZFR Japan has some of the strictes(...) 04/03/22(Sun)13:06:33 No.370960677 >the least realistic part of any anime is a Japanese person somehow obtaining a handgun 50 KB JPG

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Anon has a caterpillar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar
: Anonymous 01/04/22(Tue)09:50:37 No.869965152 capybara432.jpg 40 KB JPG I really love this animal The caterpillar

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Anon texts a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)14:56:15 No.68054340 iMessage Monday 11:20 pm It's Morgs it's dylo sleep tight xxxx have sweet dreams Thursday 5:35 pm Did you wake up yet? Delivered Today 9:29 am Hey! Sorry for being so late in my reply been super busy with work, very tired. About our date l've actually changed my mind. I feel a bit smothered already because of the text messages, sorry and I hope you find what you're looking for x 92B97868-E053-4078-AF90-5040226E3CDB.jpg 104 KB JPG >send her a total of three texts >she gets the ick I just dont know what the f--- I am supposed to do
: Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)14:56:15 No.68054340 iMessage Monday 11:20 pm It's Morgs it's dylo sleep tight xxxx have sweet dreams Thursday 5:35 pm Did you wake up yet? Delivered Today 9:29 am Hey! Sorry for being so late in my reply been super busy with work, very tired. About our date l've actually changed my mind. I feel a bit smothered already because of the text messages, sorry and I hope you find what you're looking for x 92B97868-E053-4078-AF90-5040226E3CDB.jpg 104 KB JPG >send her a total of three texts >she gets the ick I just dont know what the f--- I am supposed to do

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Anon is a reddit admin | /r/Greentext

File: cartoonCat_reddit.png (798 KB, 1576x1740) Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)13:31:02 No.875622506 Eancadge DFTBAI >be reddit admin >morbidly obese >get bored of virtue signaling about le evil putin and Kiev - err Kyev >"muh innocent ukrainians" doesn't do it for you anymore idea.png >start /r/place as an April Fool's event, letting users create any pixel art they want on a canvas >1 day passes >already bored, so you use your admin powers to place pixels with no cooldown Reddit O @Reddit Replying to @hankgreen >erase a bunch of art for s---- and giggles >someone records you erasing a cartoon cat ohshit.jpeg >censor the F--- out of anyone who mentions you and your cheating streissandeffect.gif A masterpiece 3:25 PM Apr 1, 2022 - Twitter Web App >video of you cheating reaches the front page >turns out the cartoon cat you erased was created by Anton Dimitriev, a Ukrainian artist currently getting bombed by the Russians in Kharkiv. How did reddit f--- up their PR this bad?
File: cartoonCat_reddit.png (798 KB, 1576x1740) Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)13:31:02 No.875622506 Eancadge DFTBAI >be reddit admin >morbidly obese >get bored of virtue signaling about le evil putin and Kiev - err Kyev >"muh innocent ukrainians" doesn't do it for you anymore idea.png >start /r/place as an April Fool's event, letting users create any pixel art they want on a canvas >1 day passes >already bored, so you use your admin powers to place pixels with no cooldown Reddit O @Reddit Replying to @hankgreen >erase a bunch of art for s---- and giggles >someone records you erasing a cartoon cat ohshit.jpeg >censor the F--- out of anyone who mentions you and your cheating streissandeffect.gif A masterpiece 3:25 PM Apr 1, 2022 - Twitter Web App >video of you cheating reaches the front page >turns out the cartoon cat you erased was created by Anton Dimitriev, a Ukrainian artist currently getting bombed by the Russians in Kharkiv. How did reddit f--- up their PR this bad?

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Anon thinks of a pick up line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes BURGER KING 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #
: Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:49:23 No.17512998 >Hate fast food >Not even American >But the cute redhead working the drive thru always warms my heart Looks like it'll be another Double Steakhouse® without tomatoes BURGER KING 76 KB JPG for me boys. Once i have my new car i'll ask her out. >Hey, without tomatoes as usual? >Yeah, cus' you're the only red thing i'd need on my burger heh! : Anonymous 03/05/22(Sat)19:51:31 No.17513004 >>17512998 (OP) # don't use that line. >>17513010 #

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)23:51:52 No.165994673 no country for zoomers.jpg 84 KB JPG step out of the car please senpai, fr fr
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)23:51:52 No.165994673 no country for zoomers.jpg 84 KB JPG step out of the car please senpai, fr fr

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Anon thinks about getting into a relationship | /r/Greentext

Why don't you get a dolphin gf? >Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure 307 KB PNG >Women have puny vaginal muscles, and are not even able to compete >Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continuously e-------- as long as your d--- remains inside their vagina >Women do not >Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships >Women can, and enjoy doing it >Dolphins do not mind if you f--- another dolphin >A woman will flip out if you f--- another woman >Dolphins don't mind if you c-- inside. They won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a woman. You can't even get them pregnant >Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more money. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer w----- like women >lf you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like some bimbo bitch who doesn't scare anyone >Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of time and money on them >Dolphins give up easily
Why don't you get a dolphin gf? >Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure 307 KB PNG >Women have puny vaginal muscles, and are not even able to compete >Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continuously e-------- as long as your d--- remains inside their vagina >Women do not >Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships >Women can, and enjoy doing it >Dolphins do not mind if you f--- another dolphin >A woman will flip out if you f--- another woman >Dolphins don't mind if you c-- inside. They won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a woman. You can't even get them pregnant >Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more money. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer w----- like women >lf you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like some bimbo bitch who doesn't scare anyone >Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of time and money on them >Dolphins give up easily

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anon secs with bottle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:56:20 No.40073827 >>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go further than this 293 KB PNG >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house? >40073865 # >>40073896 # Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:58:31 No.40073865 >>40073827 # HOLY F------ S--- ANON LITERALLY HOW
: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:56:20 No.40073827 >>40073392 (OP) # >walking girl down path to her house holding hands >she lets go of my hand >anon, i think we need to go further than this 293 KB PNG >well yeah how else are we gonna get to your house? >40073865 # >>40073896 # Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)12:58:31 No.40073865 >>40073827 # HOLY F------ S--- ANON LITERALLY HOW

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Anon's GF is kinky | /r/Greentext

>be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >l "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to climax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convuisions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!
>be me >10 years ago >still in med school >have kinky girlfriend >keep having more intense odd sex >reaches pinnacle of the bizarre >says she wants to be f----- to death or f--- a corpse >idea forms >l "borrow" a defibrillator, adrenaline, and other resuscitative tools from work >get home >hardcore sex for around an hour until we're about to climax >pull out >ties her down >use defibrillator on her >her heart stops, convuisions, unresponsive >quickly finish f------ her dead body within 3 minutes >begin reviving process immedietly after to avoid brain death >gasps awake, panics, cries >calms down >says she loved it >do this every other month til she committed suicide a year later due to unrelated mental health problems TL;DR? SEX STORIES!

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Anon can't win, even with a cheat code | /r/Greentext

>born in the most misogynist male- dominated female- oppressive culture where women have no 100 KB PNG say and society is geared towards helping you get married >still can't get a gf it's over : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)07:45:06 No.68050579 >>68050574 (OP) # You're not meant get a gf in those countries, you're meant to find a wife
>born in the most misogynist male- dominated female- oppressive culture where women have no 100 KB PNG say and society is geared towards helping you get married >still can't get a gf it's over : Anonymous 04/03/22(Sun)07:45:06 No.68050579 >>68050574 (OP) # You're not meant get a gf in those countries, you're meant to find a wife

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Anon doesn't have a tattoo I guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG
Anonymous 11/23/20(Mon)21:31:31 No.1346015 >foreign guy at work walks up to me and points at my arms and says "tattoo?" >l say "what?" >"tattoo?" >"uh, no. I don't have any." >"very nice. very good. me neither" >walks away 36 KB JPG

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Anon posts the frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >l post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >l get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >l post the frog 61 KB JPG

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Self defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense
: Anonymous 08/15/21(Sun)13:53:43 No.63051822 INSIDER Taekwondo Olympian beaten up and requires surgery after random street attack bdawson@insider.com (Bethany Dawson) 6 hrs ago O Like O 71 Comments 117 1 Microsoft tae kwon dont.jpg 72 KB JPG >learns martial arts for self defense

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist
: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21(Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist

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Anon goes to Thailand | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 1 04/03/22(Sun)13:21:02 No.162395184 ► >"Watch out for ladyboys in Thailand haha" >"Don't worry, I know where to find them"
O Anonymous 1 04/03/22(Sun)13:21:02 No.162395184 ► >"Watch out for ladyboys in Thailand haha" >"Don't worry, I know where to find them"

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