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Alienanon is retarded | /r/Greentext

1487814942468 jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been waned. Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3) 1 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No. 113902240 113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >2113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned
1487814942468 jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been waned. Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3) 1 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No. 113902240 113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >2113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned

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Anon is a man | /r/Greentext


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Anon thinks he's funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)01:48:14 No.875706900 I f------ hate being autistic >Be me >Go to uni >One day go to an older campus building with one of my bros >See 2 qts, I've never actually spoken to them but I've definitely 1.7 MB JPG recognised them over time >One of them particularly is an absolute 10/10, really nice and also appears to be single >We're waiting for the same study hall to open and begin to talk >My bros doing most of the talking >Realise I have to say something both funny and makes me seem smart >Because it's an old campus, there's a grandfather clock on the wall with a visible pendulum >"See that pendulum, it's frequency is actually one over the time period of an oscillation, of course, being female, you know about a different kind of period" >While they look confused and slightly creeped out, it gets worse >The punchline hits me and I'm wheezing with laughter at my own joke. >Like going red and losing control of my legs >Now they're just watching me and walking away as I'm going full 2019 Joker on the floor at my s----- attempt at humour >Later, my bros mad at me for "cockblocking" him but I'm still laughing heavily while typing this
: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)01:48:14 No.875706900 I f------ hate being autistic >Be me >Go to uni >One day go to an older campus building with one of my bros >See 2 qts, I've never actually spoken to them but I've definitely 1.7 MB JPG recognised them over time >One of them particularly is an absolute 10/10, really nice and also appears to be single >We're waiting for the same study hall to open and begin to talk >My bros doing most of the talking >Realise I have to say something both funny and makes me seem smart >Because it's an old campus, there's a grandfather clock on the wall with a visible pendulum >"See that pendulum, it's frequency is actually one over the time period of an oscillation, of course, being female, you know about a different kind of period" >While they look confused and slightly creeped out, it gets worse >The punchline hits me and I'm wheezing with laughter at my own joke. >Like going red and losing control of my legs >Now they're just watching me and walking away as I'm going full 2019 Joker on the floor at my s----- attempt at humour >Later, my bros mad at me for "cockblocking" him but I'm still laughing heavily while typing this

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Anon's therapist plays games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:55:33 No.594567983 >therapist asks what I do for fun >tell her I like to play video games >"oh, like Dwarf Fortress and Katawa Shoujo?" 129 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:55:33 No.594567983 >therapist asks what I do for fun >tell her I like to play video games >"oh, like Dwarf Fortress and Katawa Shoujo?" 129 KB PNG

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Anon has a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?
Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money 295 KB PNG >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous 12/15/21(Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822 >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free?

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4chan is only for smart people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:08:16 No.14364575 Why can't you mix a lot of fertilized eggs and make one large chicken? 18 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:23:07 No.14364607 of course you can, just try : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:37:46 No.14364655 this is how donosaurs were maked
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:08:16 No.14364575 Why can't you mix a lot of fertilized eggs and make one large chicken? 18 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:23:07 No.14364607 of course you can, just try : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)16:37:46 No.14364655 this is how donosaurs were maked

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Anon gets in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:33:52 No.162103421 >tfw sitting in the park reading a book >little girl comes up to me and asks what im reading >explain to her what cognitive therapy is >she starts crying >parents come over and accuse 64 KB JPG me of being a p--- >due in court on the 18th of next month
: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)14:33:52 No.162103421 >tfw sitting in the park reading a book >little girl comes up to me and asks what im reading >explain to her what cognitive therapy is >she starts crying >parents come over and accuse 64 KB JPG me of being a p--- >due in court on the 18th of next month

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Anon violates the Geneva Convention | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses the internet | /r/Greentext


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Anon realised something | /r/Greentext


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anon uses twitter | /r/Greentext


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Bamboozled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anon buys a new car | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)10:45:50 No.68080914 >be me >buy new car >old car had thermostat to make air more red or more blue >turn red for warmth, turn blue for сool A/C 477 KB JPG >easy to use, any retard can figure it out >new car has knob with no red/blue indicators >turning knob changes the number of degrees Fahrenheit >have no idea what to set the temperature to when I'm cold or hot What do you fancy car Anons set your temp at? | set mine to 69 on the off chance a female is in my car and it works as some sort of subliminal message.
: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)10:45:50 No.68080914 >be me >buy new car >old car had thermostat to make air more red or more blue >turn red for warmth, turn blue for сool A/C 477 KB JPG >easy to use, any retard can figure it out >new car has knob with no red/blue indicators >turning knob changes the number of degrees Fahrenheit >have no idea what to set the temperature to when I'm cold or hot What do you fancy car Anons set your temp at? | set mine to 69 on the off chance a female is in my car and it works as some sort of subliminal message.

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Anon cry’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)01:09:08 No.875719787 I watch p--- for the storyline and the interesting plot twist. like the touching tale of the poor, hungry woman and the pizza boy. it's a tale of helping those in need, romance and pizza. 6 KB JPG the woman, who is very poor and very hungry orders a pizza. >extra large with sausage and creamy sauce (an odd request, but lets move on) >enters pizza boy with the pizza. >he rings the doorbell. she anwers the door. she can't afford new clothes so she only has yoga pants and a bra. poor girl. >"here you are ma'am. an extra large pizza with creamy sauce" she reaches for her wallet only to discover the money she thought she had wasnt there. >she pleads with the pizza boy >"im sorry, i cant afford the pizza but im very poor and very hungry. is there anything you can do to help me out?" the pizza boy realized the seriousness of her situation and decides to help. just as he was going to tell her that her pizza was on him, his d--- accidently exits his pants. >they lock eyes and the romance begins. its hard to watch this movie with my parent because they dont understand why im crying, but im a softy, ill admit. love a good love story with a happy ending. Special Delivery: the fuckenings is a must watch. >10/10 recommend. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)01:09:08 No.875719787 I watch p--- for the storyline and the interesting plot twist. like the touching tale of the poor, hungry woman and the pizza boy. it's a tale of helping those in need, romance and pizza. 6 KB JPG the woman, who is very poor and very hungry orders a pizza. >extra large with sausage and creamy sauce (an odd request, but lets move on) >enters pizza boy with the pizza. >he rings the doorbell. she anwers the door. she can't afford new clothes so she only has yoga pants and a bra. poor girl. >"here you are ma'am. an extra large pizza with creamy sauce" she reaches for her wallet only to discover the money she thought she had wasnt there. >she pleads with the pizza boy >"im sorry, i cant afford the pizza but im very poor and very hungry. is there anything you can do to help me out?" the pizza boy realized the seriousness of her situation and decides to help. just as he was going to tell her that her pizza was on him, his d--- accidently exits his pants. >they lock eyes and the romance begins. its hard to watch this movie with my parent because they dont understand why im crying, but im a softy, ill admit. love a good love story with a happy ending. Special Delivery: the fuckenings is a must watch. >10/10 recommend. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon expected a community of intellectuals | /r/Greentext

File: e77.jpg (15 KB, 399x400) Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)15:33:22 No.68079598 >>68079628 >be me. bored as f--- >idea.png went to r/atheism. expected to find a community of intellectuals. >mfw "Islam this islam that" "Christian this christen that". retards moaning about their parents forcing them to Sunday school or somethin explain to me anons why are these people like this. I want to get away from religion just to find them f------ discuss it further Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)15:36:02 No.68079628 >>68079598 (OP) >r/atheist >expected to find a community of intellectuals comedy gold.
File: e77.jpg (15 KB, 399x400) Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)15:33:22 No.68079598 >>68079628 >be me. bored as f--- >idea.png went to r/atheism. expected to find a community of intellectuals. >mfw "Islam this islam that" "Christian this christen that". retards moaning about their parents forcing them to Sunday school or somethin explain to me anons why are these people like this. I want to get away from religion just to find them f------ discuss it further Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)15:36:02 No.68079628 >>68079598 (OP) >r/atheist >expected to find a community of intellectuals comedy gold.

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Anon drinks a cocktail | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. 71 кв JPG I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant сарacity: the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.
: Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. 71 кв JPG I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant сарacity: the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.

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I don’t know a creative title | /r/Greentext

>> O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)12:55:44 No.875727537 File: 72C05B6D-C5DA-472C-B620-F(...).jpg (33 KB, 474x474) >>875727843 >After a few days of living with us she was comfortable walking around the house in nothing but her panties and a mini shirt >she would joke about how she should take care of us all for letting her stay and was flirting like a m----------- >that weekend she was working and we all went out, the club she was working as a hostess at was too fancy for us but we went clubbing and then returned home for kick ons >she messaged us a video from her bar before clocking of telling us she would bring home bottles >she brought home many bottles of jagermeister because her bar had had a promotional event >she started making us cocktails and dancing around drunk flirtatious >my room mate asked her if she wasn't hoot in her bar out fit and she straight up stripped down to her panties as though he had ordered her. O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:07:34 No.875727843 File: A5DC7532-304C-4004-A59A-9...).jpg (430 KB, 989x2166) >>875727537 >she got us to do shots from her belly button and was giggling as some of us got touchy with her >she sat back into my lap giving me a cheeky lap dance infront of everyone and she let me undo her bar and got her t--- out >she made us more cocktails serving them topless and one of my house mates asked if he could Do a shot of her belly button again >she layed down but before pouring the shot she pulled down her panties >within moments on house mate had his c--- in her mouth and another was between her legs f------ her raw >we took turns f------ her until the morning and I bent her over and ass f----- her while my house mate face f----- her >she passed out full of c-- on the couch >in the morning she made us all a vegan breakfast This was the first week and she ended up staying nearly a month
>> O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)12:55:44 No.875727537 File: 72C05B6D-C5DA-472C-B620-F(...).jpg (33 KB, 474x474) >>875727843 >After a few days of living with us she was comfortable walking around the house in nothing but her panties and a mini shirt >she would joke about how she should take care of us all for letting her stay and was flirting like a m----------- >that weekend she was working and we all went out, the club she was working as a hostess at was too fancy for us but we went clubbing and then returned home for kick ons >she messaged us a video from her bar before clocking of telling us she would bring home bottles >she brought home many bottles of jagermeister because her bar had had a promotional event >she started making us cocktails and dancing around drunk flirtatious >my room mate asked her if she wasn't hoot in her bar out fit and she straight up stripped down to her panties as though he had ordered her. O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)13:07:34 No.875727843 File: A5DC7532-304C-4004-A59A-9...).jpg (430 KB, 989x2166) >>875727537 >she got us to do shots from her belly button and was giggling as some of us got touchy with her >she sat back into my lap giving me a cheeky lap dance infront of everyone and she let me undo her bar and got her t--- out >she made us more cocktails serving them topless and one of my house mates asked if he could Do a shot of her belly button again >she layed down but before pouring the shot she pulled down her panties >within moments on house mate had his c--- in her mouth and another was between her legs f------ her raw >we took turns f------ her until the morning and I bent her over and ass f----- her while my house mate face f----- her >she passed out full of c-- on the couch >in the morning she made us all a vegan breakfast This was the first week and she ended up staying nearly a month

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Anon connects with fellow 4channer | /r/Greentext

File: 7ADB6203-34E4-4815-871F-4(...).jpg (60 KB, 523x568) O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)11:47:01 No.875725611 [Reply] D>>875726941 >>875726994 >>875727512 >be me today >in car at lunch hanging with friends >one friend brings up how he spends alot of his time CAN SPOR here >i say "yeah, i'm always on /b/" >friend shouts "YOU'RE A /B/TARD?" >we dap each other up at the newfound realization that we are both profoundly retarded this just brought us alot closer together bros.
File: 7ADB6203-34E4-4815-871F-4(...).jpg (60 KB, 523x568) O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)11:47:01 No.875725611 [Reply] D>>875726941 >>875726994 >>875727512 >be me today >in car at lunch hanging with friends >one friend brings up how he spends alot of his time CAN SPOR here >i say "yeah, i'm always on /b/" >friend shouts "YOU'RE A /B/TARD?" >we dap each other up at the newfound realization that we are both profoundly retarded this just brought us alot closer together bros.

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Anon visits philadelphia | /r/Greentext


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Anon critiques women’s taste in men | /r/Greentext

File: samus-confused.png (219 KB, 358x372) O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)12:29:52 No.875726856 [Reply] >>875727838 >be older (like 30s and s---) >turned into more of a ? crybaby with age >just can't even with life ? anymore >don't even have the energy to get mad like I used to >just cry instead when something goes arong >for some reason this endearing to women ?
File: samus-confused.png (219 KB, 358x372) O Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)12:29:52 No.875726856 [Reply] >>875727838 >be older (like 30s and s---) >turned into more of a ? crybaby with age >just can't even with life ? anymore >don't even have the energy to get mad like I used to >just cry instead when something goes arong >for some reason this endearing to women ?

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