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Anon reminisces about 6th grade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:08:09 No.875885637 >be me >in my 6th grade Spanish class >my Spanish teacher asks for the answer to a question on one of the worksheets we had been given earlier 46 KB JPG >nobody raises their hand, so I decide to try answering the question since I don't raise my hand in class very often >after giving my answer, the teacher explains loudly and angrily that my answer was wrong, and goes into a rant about how the specific conjugation I had used in one of the words was used in the last unit, and that it had no real place in the current unit >she explains how wrong my answer was in front of the entire class, all while looking directly at me >feel bad for the rest of the class >after class, some girl walked up to me & said that she felt bad for me I stopped raising my hand in class after that, because I was so scared that I would get the answer wrong and embarrass myself again
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:08:09 No.875885637 >be me >in my 6th grade Spanish class >my Spanish teacher asks for the answer to a question on one of the worksheets we had been given earlier 46 KB JPG >nobody raises their hand, so I decide to try answering the question since I don't raise my hand in class very often >after giving my answer, the teacher explains loudly and angrily that my answer was wrong, and goes into a rant about how the specific conjugation I had used in one of the words was used in the last unit, and that it had no real place in the current unit >she explains how wrong my answer was in front of the entire class, all while looking directly at me >feel bad for the rest of the class >after class, some girl walked up to me & said that she felt bad for me I stopped raising my hand in class after that, because I was so scared that I would get the answer wrong and embarrass myself again

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anon has an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)19:38:41 No.875864908 instead of nofap, why don't we start nobath? Jacking Off is Fun & Cool pros: > manly musk > natural oils moisturise the skin > save money on water Do What You Want. God is Fake. 156 KB JPG > ladies love a rugged man > get in touch with masculine caveman ancestors > more time for lifting > more time for the females in my life cons: > more smegma
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)19:38:41 No.875864908 instead of nofap, why don't we start nobath? Jacking Off is Fun & Cool pros: > manly musk > natural oils moisturise the skin > save money on water Do What You Want. God is Fake. 156 KB JPG > ladies love a rugged man > get in touch with masculine caveman ancestors > more time for lifting > more time for the females in my life cons: > more smegma

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Anon Gets Caught | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/20(Tue)12:56:01 No.831137229 OD panic.jpg 4 KB JPG >mom steps into room >quickly switch tabs >she taps my shoulder >"anon, why did you just close out of 'r/racistfemboys'?" what the f--- do i do /b/ 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/30/20(Tue)12:56:01 No.831137229 OD panic.jpg 4 KB JPG >mom steps into room >quickly switch tabs >she taps my shoulder >"anon, why did you just close out of 'r/racistfemboys'?" what the f--- do i do /b/ 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon walks into a museum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:52:21 No.5999644 BE397BD0-0C04-41F9-B49F-51697E5EBDF2.jpg 3.1 MB JPG >take 3 tabs of 250ug acid >walk into Denver art museum >see this >heart explodes
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:52:21 No.5999644 BE397BD0-0C04-41F9-B49F-51697E5EBDF2.jpg 3.1 MB JPG >take 3 tabs of 250ug acid >walk into Denver art museum >see this >heart explodes

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Anon's bullies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)10:59:12 No.68025639 >>68025095 (OP) # my middle school bullies all had s--- lives almost immediately after highschool >OD on drugs >hung himself >drunk driving accident he caused, killing his friend who was another one of the bullies and paralyzing himself from the waist down >2 arrested for stealing from parked cars feels good that my life turned out pretty alright. : Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)11:02:33 No.68025693 >>68025095 (OP) # >cocky bully always s--- testing losers >myself included >watch My name is Earl >leave a note in his backpack 315 KB GIF >"Karma grows like a cancer" >9 months pass >his mom dies from f------ cancer >becomes depressed and sensitive to jokes >even 9/11 jokes >leave a note in his backpack last day of senior year >Karmas a bitch >loses his s--- >kek eternally from then on
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)10:59:12 No.68025639 >>68025095 (OP) # my middle school bullies all had s--- lives almost immediately after highschool >OD on drugs >hung himself >drunk driving accident he caused, killing his friend who was another one of the bullies and paralyzing himself from the waist down >2 arrested for stealing from parked cars feels good that my life turned out pretty alright. : Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)11:02:33 No.68025693 >>68025095 (OP) # >cocky bully always s--- testing losers >myself included >watch My name is Earl >leave a note in his backpack 315 KB GIF >"Karma grows like a cancer" >9 months pass >his mom dies from f------ cancer >becomes depressed and sensitive to jokes >even 9/11 jokes >leave a note in his backpack last day of senior year >Karmas a bitch >loses his s--- >kek eternally from then on

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Anon hates pitbulls | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)00:14:16 No.875893726 >>875883684 (OP) >About 5 years ago >Doing homework on picnic table in back yard >Next door neighbor starts screaming >Look over fence >2 Pit bulls >One is locked on to her leg >I'm not going to try to pull it off her (Not stupid) >Run in the house >Grab 9mm pistol >F--- that! >Run upstairs >Grab 44 magnum >Run into her yard >One comes running toward me >Bang! Bang! >He's not going anywhere >Run over to her >Dog isn't letting go >Grab it by the back of the neck. >Practically shove barrel in it's ear. >Bang! >'Il call 911 >Lots of blood >Tie off bleeding leg with my shirt >Cops and ambulance coming >Dog owner, cops, and ambulance show up at almost the same time >2 dead dogs, one p----- off owner, two cops with guns drawn telling me to put down the gun, bleeding neighbor >Not one of my best days >l don't get shot by the cops >Owner arrested >Neighbor recovered with several nasty scars and a scary story >l developed a fear and hatred for the breed
>> Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)00:14:16 No.875893726 >>875883684 (OP) >About 5 years ago >Doing homework on picnic table in back yard >Next door neighbor starts screaming >Look over fence >2 Pit bulls >One is locked on to her leg >I'm not going to try to pull it off her (Not stupid) >Run in the house >Grab 9mm pistol >F--- that! >Run upstairs >Grab 44 magnum >Run into her yard >One comes running toward me >Bang! Bang! >He's not going anywhere >Run over to her >Dog isn't letting go >Grab it by the back of the neck. >Practically shove barrel in it's ear. >Bang! >'Il call 911 >Lots of blood >Tie off bleeding leg with my shirt >Cops and ambulance coming >Dog owner, cops, and ambulance show up at almost the same time >2 dead dogs, one p----- off owner, two cops with guns drawn telling me to put down the gun, bleeding neighbor >Not one of my best days >l don't get shot by the cops >Owner arrested >Neighbor recovered with several nasty scars and a scary story >l developed a fear and hatred for the breed

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Anon dodged a bullet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)14:33:10 No.875870017 >be me >4/10 m >walking home from work through a dense narrow alley >8/10 qt asian girl walking the other 5 KB JPG way >she's the only other one here >wears a medical mask >palmsaresweatykneesweakarmsareheavy.wav >she's comes up to me, asks if I think she's beautiful >just stop, silent for a moment >autismactivated.exe >full speed sprint away >pic related Am la retard /b/ros?
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)14:33:10 No.875870017 >be me >4/10 m >walking home from work through a dense narrow alley >8/10 qt asian girl walking the other 5 KB JPG way >she's the only other one here >wears a medical mask >palmsaresweatykneesweakarmsareheavy.wav >she's comes up to me, asks if I think she's beautiful >just stop, silent for a moment >autismactivated.exe >full speed sprint away >pic related Am la retard /b/ros?

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Anon watches The Little Mermaid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP) # Finders keepers.
: Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:06:09 No.125014102 >meets a disabled 14 year on the beach, completely naked >attempts to marry her without once trying to find our where her parents are 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/10/21(Tue)09:07:48 No.125014133 >>125014102 (OP) # Finders keepers.

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Anon can't use his brain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)02:29:44 No.68107803 >real men play russian roulette with glocks I don't get it. And every time I ask /k/ they think I'm trolling. 799 KB PNG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)02:49:00 No.68107965 use 10 seconds to think how a game of russian roulette is played and then think why it wouldn't work vey well n a glock. 140 KB JPG >>68107982 #
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)02:29:44 No.68107803 >real men play russian roulette with glocks I don't get it. And every time I ask /k/ they think I'm trolling. 799 KB PNG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)02:49:00 No.68107965 use 10 seconds to think how a game of russian roulette is played and then think why it wouldn't work vey well n a glock. 140 KB JPG >>68107982 #

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Sinhalese basket weaving forum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:20:41 No.66189084 >be me >have chad friend >tall (over 6'), ugly, skinny as f---, plays videogames most days >gets bitches everytime we go out It's all about the height, bros. The game was rigged from the beginning 81 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:23:44 No.66189109 no it isn't. let me guess, out of the two of you, you're the only one that spends his time on a Nepalese Penis Ritual forum? >>66190267 #
: Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:20:41 No.66189084 >be me >have chad friend >tall (over 6'), ugly, skinny as f---, plays videogames most days >gets bitches everytime we go out It's all about the height, bros. The game was rigged from the beginning 81 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/04/22(Mon)11:23:44 No.66189109 no it isn't. let me guess, out of the two of you, you're the only one that spends his time on a Nepalese Penis Ritual forum? >>66190267 #

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new movie idea | /r/Greentext

File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP) I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.
File: aladdin-920x584.png (595 KB, 920x584) Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:06 No.79985177 Genie: "What are your 3 wishes?" Me: "Make every word 4 letters long." Geni: "Wish gran." Meee: "Make ever word star with 'br." Brni: "Brsh bran." Bree: "Brke brer brrd brar brdd brth 'uh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh bruh." Bruh: "Bruh bruh." Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)15:59:37 No.799851809 >>799851773 (OP) I wish that OP would die in 10,000 fires.

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Anon's the eggboy | /r/Greentext

eggs m8.jpg 34 KB JPG >Be me >they call me eggboy >i cook all the eggs >"hey eggboy, we need more eggs" >never happier than when making eggs picture related
eggs m8.jpg 34 KB JPG >Be me >they call me eggboy >i cook all the eggs >"hey eggboy, we need more eggs" >never happier than when making eggs picture related

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anon has a degree | /r/Greentext

fd.jpg 467 KB JPG >and this is our son's room, he's quite the computer nerd >come say hi, John
fd.jpg 467 KB JPG >and this is our son's room, he's quite the computer nerd >come say hi, John

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anon cheats death | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)18:15:49 No.68116103 >feel weird pain in my upper back, left 420 side >outside of left hand is tingly >ruhroh >pain is increasing, now getting more intense and spreading to chest >that's where my ticker is 58 KB JPG >s--- >shitshitshit >pain has increased tenfold >feels like I have a spear in my back going through my chest >pick up phone, dial 911 >sweating buckets >operator answers >feel a massive, painful lump in my esophagus >"911 what's your emergen-" >the lump has reached the top of my throat, my mouth opens and a raucous belch sounds into the receiver >feels like my esophagus is ripping apart >i can taste the monster energy drink i had back in eighth grade >proceed to fire off an a------ shredding fart >pain is lessened significantly >can finally relax >breathe sigh of relief >operator is nose breathing on the end of the line >f--- >"um... I guess I'm okay now." >operator >"You sure about that bud? No other emergency?" >"nah man, I'm good." >hangs up on me >go back to drinking coffee and playing minecraft Not today, Death.
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)18:15:49 No.68116103 >feel weird pain in my upper back, left 420 side >outside of left hand is tingly >ruhroh >pain is increasing, now getting more intense and spreading to chest >that's where my ticker is 58 KB JPG >s--- >shitshitshit >pain has increased tenfold >feels like I have a spear in my back going through my chest >pick up phone, dial 911 >sweating buckets >operator answers >feel a massive, painful lump in my esophagus >"911 what's your emergen-" >the lump has reached the top of my throat, my mouth opens and a raucous belch sounds into the receiver >feels like my esophagus is ripping apart >i can taste the monster energy drink i had back in eighth grade >proceed to fire off an a------ shredding fart >pain is lessened significantly >can finally relax >breathe sigh of relief >operator is nose breathing on the end of the line >f--- >"um... I guess I'm okay now." >operator >"You sure about that bud? No other emergency?" >"nah man, I'm good." >hangs up on me >go back to drinking coffee and playing minecraft Not today, Death.

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Mm yesssssssssssss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the EWIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG
: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the EWIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Eyes bigger than her stomach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)13:56:45 No.58980950 >milf-tier friend of my parents comes over for lunch >my parents are still cooking so im chilling with her in the living room for a bit 258 KB JPG >"did you just come back from lifting? youre looking jacked" >tell her no, i last lifted the day before >food is ready, we have a seat on the lunch table >me and her are sitting on one side, parents on the opposite >she says to my mom "thank god youre sitting in front of me and not ur son, i wouldnt be able to focus on the food haha" >mfw
: Anonymous 12/21/20(Mon)13:56:45 No.58980950 >milf-tier friend of my parents comes over for lunch >my parents are still cooking so im chilling with her in the living room for a bit 258 KB JPG >"did you just come back from lifting? youre looking jacked" >tell her no, i last lifted the day before >food is ready, we have a seat on the lunch table >me and her are sitting on one side, parents on the opposite >she says to my mom "thank god youre sitting in front of me and not ur son, i wouldnt be able to focus on the food haha" >mfw

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Anon on romance. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous : Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:19:36 No.101490849 07/24/18(Tue)03:20:19 No.101490870 ALL WOMEN KEEP SCORE. ONLY THE GREAT ONES PUT IT IN WRITING. 노소리의 RENÉE ZELLWEGER COLIN FIRTH e HUGH GRANT BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY Uncensored. Uninhibited. Unmarried. From the makers of "Four Weddings and a Funeral" & "Notting Hill" -jpg 2017.05.09 238 KB JPG jpg Romance for women: 141 KB JPG >IM A FAT UGLY BITCH WHO RIDES A Romance for men: DIFFERENT C--- EVERY NIGHT. >Young love is a special bond between two people that will last an eternity SHOULD I F--- RICH CHAD OR SLIGHTLY LESS RICH CHAD, GUESS ILL JUST F--- THEM BOTH LOL
Anonymous : Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:19:36 No.101490849 07/24/18(Tue)03:20:19 No.101490870 ALL WOMEN KEEP SCORE. ONLY THE GREAT ONES PUT IT IN WRITING. 노소리의 RENÉE ZELLWEGER COLIN FIRTH e HUGH GRANT BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY Uncensored. Uninhibited. Unmarried. From the makers of "Four Weddings and a Funeral" & "Notting Hill" -jpg 2017.05.09 238 KB JPG jpg Romance for women: 141 KB JPG >IM A FAT UGLY BITCH WHO RIDES A Romance for men: DIFFERENT C--- EVERY NIGHT. >Young love is a special bond between two people that will last an eternity SHOULD I F--- RICH CHAD OR SLIGHTLY LESS RICH CHAD, GUESS ILL JUST F--- THEM BOTH LOL

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I like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)15:28:11 No.875850625 >"Bro just get one of the few jobs that takes decades to be qualified for and won't accept just anybody, or get into favorable circumstances and MAYBE you'll have a living wage. It's that simple bro." 47 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)15:28:11 No.875850625 >"Bro just get one of the few jobs that takes decades to be qualified for and won't accept just anybody, or get into favorable circumstances and MAYBE you'll have a living wage. It's that simple bro." 47 KB JPG

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>Today i uploaded a greentext on r/greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TtfEsQxd Accomplishments 07/03/21(Sat)21:57:00 No.328624145 Today I >fapped >ate two slices of pizza >watched tv 7 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 14NO8PKD 07/03/21(Sat)21:58:37 No.328624320 >>328624145 (OP) # >Went to work >Came home >Called you a f----- >>328624666 #
: Anonymous (ID: TtfEsQxd Accomplishments 07/03/21(Sat)21:57:00 No.328624145 Today I >fapped >ate two slices of pizza >watched tv 7 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 14NO8PKD 07/03/21(Sat)21:58:37 No.328624320 >>328624145 (OP) # >Went to work >Came home >Called you a f----- >>328624666 #

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Anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)10:11:30 No.68107661 >booked an escort the other day >she's 23 or something >conversation flows naturally, we get along, comes naturally >get the best b------ of my life >go over booked time slot >c-- a literal bucket >get dressed, thank her and leave 1.09 MB GIF while cracking a few jokes >fast forward to just now >found all the money I was supposed to give her still in my coat pocket >she hasn't even texted me about it | >got to f--- the bitch for free >block and delete her number Yep, I'm thinking this was a win
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)10:11:30 No.68107661 >booked an escort the other day >she's 23 or something >conversation flows naturally, we get along, comes naturally >get the best b------ of my life >go over booked time slot >c-- a literal bucket >get dressed, thank her and leave 1.09 MB GIF while cracking a few jokes >fast forward to just now >found all the money I was supposed to give her still in my coat pocket >she hasn't even texted me about it | >got to f--- the bitch for free >block and delete her number Yep, I'm thinking this was a win

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