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Anon spots white woman | /r/Greentext

E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"
E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"

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Anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

File: MME73.jpg (281 KB, 2000x2000) O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:20:12 No.68119748 [Reply] D>68122162 >>68122230 > $300 How do you normies buy this kinda stuff? Arent you afraid youre going to lose them? Meanwhile I can buy and replace those $14 3.5mm of the same brand.
File: MME73.jpg (281 KB, 2000x2000) O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:20:12 No.68119748 [Reply] D>68122162 >>68122230 > $300 How do you normies buy this kinda stuff? Arent you afraid youre going to lose them? Meanwhile I can buy and replace those $14 3.5mm of the same brand.

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anon goes out in glory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GAUEENOP 04/08/22(Fri)11:34:22 No.371816008 2Q== jpg 201 KB JPG >Computer, generate a replica of Counselor Deanna Troi, at age 38 after bearing three children. >Computer, now make her 200 feet tall, and generate a medieval landscape around us. >Computer, place her several kilometers away, and load her into a catapult that is powerful enough to launch her into the air. >Computer, make sure the Counselor's legs are spread, and adjust the catapult's trajectory so that Counselor Troi's vagina will collide with my position. >Computer, have Counselor Troi scream passages from the collected works of Hitler's speeches while she is mid- air, randomize selection. >Computer, disengage safety protocols. Submit file 'Barclay Suicide Message' to Captain Picard, Counselor Deanna Troi and Doctor Beverley Crusher. >Computer, launch.
: Anonymous (ID: GAUEENOP 04/08/22(Fri)11:34:22 No.371816008 2Q== jpg 201 KB JPG >Computer, generate a replica of Counselor Deanna Troi, at age 38 after bearing three children. >Computer, now make her 200 feet tall, and generate a medieval landscape around us. >Computer, place her several kilometers away, and load her into a catapult that is powerful enough to launch her into the air. >Computer, make sure the Counselor's legs are spread, and adjust the catapult's trajectory so that Counselor Troi's vagina will collide with my position. >Computer, have Counselor Troi scream passages from the collected works of Hitler's speeches while she is mid- air, randomize selection. >Computer, disengage safety protocols. Submit file 'Barclay Suicide Message' to Captain Picard, Counselor Deanna Troi and Doctor Beverley Crusher. >Computer, launch.

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A non stays virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right

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Anon uses ebay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)17:26:55 No.68126035 >30ish YO roastie messages me on whatsapp about a thing im selling on ebay, shes pretty hot >its practically a bargain since im looking to get rid of it fast >respond the same minute because i was just on my phone >check phone 10 minutes later, she blocked 184 KB JPG me, probably saw my pfp >ugly bros, its over.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)17:26:55 No.68126035 >30ish YO roastie messages me on whatsapp about a thing im selling on ebay, shes pretty hot >its practically a bargain since im looking to get rid of it fast >respond the same minute because i was just on my phone >check phone 10 minutes later, she blocked 184 KB JPG me, probably saw my pfp >ugly bros, its over.

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Anon forgets he‘s in real life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in 303 KB JPG my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. Luckily I could hold myself back.
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in 303 KB JPG my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. Luckily I could hold myself back.

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Anon is the average v-tuber fan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:19:56 No.22002452 https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9631 [Open] this is the moment that Gura felt her menstruation coming out, you can see her looking down to check on her crotch. 228 KB JPG https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9643 [Open] here she says "i might need to..." then pauses and her pupils show that she's rapidly looking at random directions instead of looking at the listener(chat) this indicates embarrassment and that her brain is trying to come up with a false excuse to leave. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9650 [Open] here she says "pee" in a monotone way that indicates she wasn't sure about her choice of words, another sign that it's just an excuse. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9659 [Open] here Gura uses "i should probably" instead of "i have to" this means that there's no real urgency in her necessity, unlike someone who really needs to pee. After that she leaves for about 1:45min females can actually urinate faster than males, even with a full bladder they should take about 20 seconds to finish and about 15 to wipe themselves then a few more seconds to wash their hands, the whole process should take not much more than 60 seconds considering her toilet is very close bacause she felt the necessity to avoid any possible noises with the loud technical issues screen on top of just muting the audio. 1:45min would be too much time, that way we can assume that she spent 30 more seconds to open and put a pad on. >>22002615 # >>22002639 # >>22002662 # >>22002825 # >>22002902 # >>22003093 # >>22003314 # >>22003380 # >>22003522 # >>22005939 # >>22006217 # >>22006275 # >>22006433 # ...
Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:19:56 No.22002452 https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9631 [Open] this is the moment that Gura felt her menstruation coming out, you can see her looking down to check on her crotch. 228 KB JPG https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9643 [Open] here she says "i might need to..." then pauses and her pupils show that she's rapidly looking at random directions instead of looking at the listener(chat) this indicates embarrassment and that her brain is trying to come up with a false excuse to leave. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9650 [Open] here she says "pee" in a monotone way that indicates she wasn't sure about her choice of words, another sign that it's just an excuse. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9659 [Open] here Gura uses "i should probably" instead of "i have to" this means that there's no real urgency in her necessity, unlike someone who really needs to pee. After that she leaves for about 1:45min females can actually urinate faster than males, even with a full bladder they should take about 20 seconds to finish and about 15 to wipe themselves then a few more seconds to wash their hands, the whole process should take not much more than 60 seconds considering her toilet is very close bacause she felt the necessity to avoid any possible noises with the loud technical issues screen on top of just muting the audio. 1:45min would be too much time, that way we can assume that she spent 30 more seconds to open and put a pad on. >>22002615 # >>22002639 # >>22002662 # >>22002825 # >>22002902 # >>22003093 # >>22003314 # >>22003380 # >>22003522 # >>22005939 # >>22006217 # >>22006275 # >>22006433 # ...

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:33:28 No.68120980 >been making crazy gains the past 6 months >feeling confident about my body >walking home from the gym GORILLA MODE >time to eat >hopped up on 2 scoops of gorilla mode preworkout >smoke some weed on my way to the 57 KB JPG grocery store >buying steak and cheese hot pockets in a section of the freezer isle labled "meals for one" >some woman comes up to me and comments "oh thats my favorite one too!" as she grabs the next box off the shelf >trying to say something funny I comment "heh, 'meals for one', how bout its just a box with a single bullet it haha" >she reply's "oh no, thats ok;" and quickly walks away w-- was my joke that bad?
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:33:28 No.68120980 >been making crazy gains the past 6 months >feeling confident about my body >walking home from the gym GORILLA MODE >time to eat >hopped up on 2 scoops of gorilla mode preworkout >smoke some weed on my way to the 57 KB JPG grocery store >buying steak and cheese hot pockets in a section of the freezer isle labled "meals for one" >some woman comes up to me and comments "oh thats my favorite one too!" as she grabs the next box off the shelf >trying to say something funny I comment "heh, 'meals for one', how bout its just a box with a single bullet it haha" >she reply's "oh no, thats ok;" and quickly walks away w-- was my joke that bad?

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:07:39 No.68127581 >be me >khv >walking home one night from my s----- job >see a group of teenagers pointing and laughing at some girl >they keep calling her crater face >get closer and see she has massive scars on her face probably from acne 511 KB PNG >tell them to leave her alone >they shrug and leave >start talking to girl >she is shy but we connect immediately >fast forward some time >we are in a relationship >she has a few quirks >only likes to go out at night >goes through weird phases every month >ignore them because I really like her >one night she comes to me very upset >says some guy keeps harassing her and is studying her because of her appearance and scars >it makes her feel like a freak >get p----- off and find out where this guy lives >break into his house at night and start beating him >while he's laying on the ground bloody I ask him why he keeps harassing my gf >mfw he says he's an astronomer >mfw my gf is the moon
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:07:39 No.68127581 >be me >khv >walking home one night from my s----- job >see a group of teenagers pointing and laughing at some girl >they keep calling her crater face >get closer and see she has massive scars on her face probably from acne 511 KB PNG >tell them to leave her alone >they shrug and leave >start talking to girl >she is shy but we connect immediately >fast forward some time >we are in a relationship >she has a few quirks >only likes to go out at night >goes through weird phases every month >ignore them because I really like her >one night she comes to me very upset >says some guy keeps harassing her and is studying her because of her appearance and scars >it makes her feel like a freak >get p----- off and find out where this guy lives >break into his house at night and start beating him >while he's laying on the ground bloody I ask him why he keeps harassing my gf >mfw he says he's an astronomer >mfw my gf is the moon

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anon makes a breakthrough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:10:47 No.794819925 >implying white people never had PACKS their own N word Nilla wgfers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:15:32 No.794820220 amazin : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:16:43 No.794820286 ok
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:10:47 No.794819925 >implying white people never had PACKS their own N word Nilla wgfers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:15:32 No.794820220 amazin : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:16:43 No.794820286 ok

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Anon hates Titanic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?
: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:31:43 No.68122973 >Finally start actually improving myself >Start balding at the age of 21 >Am manlet with a babyface who cant grow a beard too What did I do to deserve this. My hair is all I have when it comes to looks 32 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:31:43 No.68122973 >Finally start actually improving myself >Start balding at the age of 21 >Am manlet with a babyface who cant grow a beard too What did I do to deserve this. My hair is all I have when it comes to looks 32 KB JPG

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Anon pays a lot for takeout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:00:16 No.68124623 >Order tendies on Grubhub >$30 + tax + driver benefits + mandatory tip It has truly become a doggie dog world. 194 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:05:07 No.68124681 >>68124623 (OP) # >Too lazy to pick up his own takeout I expect in a few years people will become too lazy to use Grubhub or Doordash and will need another app that orders the food for them while they lay in bed like vegetables.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:00:16 No.68124623 >Order tendies on Grubhub >$30 + tax + driver benefits + mandatory tip It has truly become a doggie dog world. 194 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:05:07 No.68124681 >>68124623 (OP) # >Too lazy to pick up his own takeout I expect in a few years people will become too lazy to use Grubhub or Doordash and will need another app that orders the food for them while they lay in bed like vegetables.

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (2)2vreW )II 04/08/22(Fri)19:14:50 No.371812897 File: 1649001767347.jpg (57 KB, 421x421) >>371813002 >>371813137 >>371813248 A reminder that Ukraine has officially outlasted france in ww2
Anonymous (ID: (2)2vreW )II 04/08/22(Fri)19:14:50 No.371812897 File: 1649001767347.jpg (57 KB, 421x421) >>371813002 >>371813137 >>371813248 A reminder that Ukraine has officially outlasted france in ww2

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anon is a marine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)09:05:39 No.875909696 >be me >military f-- >USMC ships me off to the middle of the New Mexico desert for "training exercises" for months >its bs but whatever >they work us like slaves in 110+ degree heat 110 KB PNG >sand storms nearly blind me every day >little to no free time, I miss my family, I miss my friends, consider going awol but l'd probably die in the desert >they give me a single mango at meal time and suddenly everything becomes worth it Pull through military bots, it gets better.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)09:05:39 No.875909696 >be me >military f-- >USMC ships me off to the middle of the New Mexico desert for "training exercises" for months >its bs but whatever >they work us like slaves in 110+ degree heat 110 KB PNG >sand storms nearly blind me every day >little to no free time, I miss my family, I miss my friends, consider going awol but l'd probably die in the desert >they give me a single mango at meal time and suddenly everything becomes worth it Pull through military bots, it gets better.

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anon wants to go to greenland | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i want to go to nuuk 04/08/22(Fri)20:18:19 No.68127114 >bored >looking at countries on google maps >start looking for most remote areas >come across nuuk, a city in greenland, though it looks more like a small town 72 KB JPG >looks beautiful >come across a subreddit dedicated to it with less than 200 users >look at the photos people posted, they look so comfy and friendly >can imagine myself living there in a small house, making friends, enjoying the snow >no war, no politics, just a small town away from everyone else >fall in love with this town knowing damn well ill never step foot in it pic related, its nuuk
: Anonymous i want to go to nuuk 04/08/22(Fri)20:18:19 No.68127114 >bored >looking at countries on google maps >start looking for most remote areas >come across nuuk, a city in greenland, though it looks more like a small town 72 KB JPG >looks beautiful >come across a subreddit dedicated to it with less than 200 users >look at the photos people posted, they look so comfy and friendly >can imagine myself living there in a small house, making friends, enjoying the snow >no war, no politics, just a small town away from everyone else >fall in love with this town knowing damn well ill never step foot in it pic related, its nuuk

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Anon has a bot. | /r/Greentext

I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the 1.51 MB GIF process with a computer program. I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ''completely out of order"" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers.
I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the 1.51 MB GIF process with a computer program. I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ''completely out of order"" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers.

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Anon is on something fr | /r/Greentext

File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 42/x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if vou do this
File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 42/x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if vou do this

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Anon is amused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:24:17 No.875886350 The thought of some guy making an honest living working at a potato chip factory is so amusing to me >the guy just watches potatoes get turned into chips and puts all of them into bags that get put into 40 KB JPG trucks, that later put the bags into stores >he just gets paid to do all of this >he could be having a rough day and someone could just say, "what's the matter dude? Got a chip on your shoulder? Did you just get LAY'd off?" This is just really fun to think about to me for some reason
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:24:17 No.875886350 The thought of some guy making an honest living working at a potato chip factory is so amusing to me >the guy just watches potatoes get turned into chips and puts all of them into bags that get put into 40 KB JPG trucks, that later put the bags into stores >he just gets paid to do all of this >he could be having a rough day and someone could just say, "what's the matter dude? Got a chip on your shoulder? Did you just get LAY'd off?" This is just really fun to think about to me for some reason

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