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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:07:39 No.68127581 >be me >khv >walking home one night from my s----- job >see a group of teenagers pointing and laughing at some girl >they keep calling her crater face >get closer and see she has massive scars on her face probably from acne 511 KB PNG >tell them to leave her alone >they shrug and leave >start talking to girl >she is shy but we connect immediately >fast forward some time >we are in a relationship >she has a few quirks >only likes to go out at night >goes through weird phases every month >ignore them because I really like her >one night she comes to me very upset >says some guy keeps harassing her and is studying her because of her appearance and scars >it makes her feel like a freak >get p----- off and find out where this guy lives >break into his house at night and start beating him >while he's laying on the ground bloody I ask him why he keeps harassing my gf >mfw he says he's an astronomer >mfw my gf is the moon
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:07:39 No.68127581 >be me >khv >walking home one night from my s----- job >see a group of teenagers pointing and laughing at some girl >they keep calling her crater face >get closer and see she has massive scars on her face probably from acne 511 KB PNG >tell them to leave her alone >they shrug and leave >start talking to girl >she is shy but we connect immediately >fast forward some time >we are in a relationship >she has a few quirks >only likes to go out at night >goes through weird phases every month >ignore them because I really like her >one night she comes to me very upset >says some guy keeps harassing her and is studying her because of her appearance and scars >it makes her feel like a freak >get p----- off and find out where this guy lives >break into his house at night and start beating him >while he's laying on the ground bloody I ask him why he keeps harassing my gf >mfw he says he's an astronomer >mfw my gf is the moon

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anon makes a breakthrough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:10:47 No.794819925 >implying white people never had PACKS their own N word Nilla wgfers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:15:32 No.794820220 amazin : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:16:43 No.794820286 ok
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:10:47 No.794819925 >implying white people never had PACKS their own N word Nilla wgfers 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:15:32 No.794820220 amazin : Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)20:16:43 No.794820286 ok

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Anon hates Titanic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?
: Anonymous (ID: k3eazSnQ ) 09/26/20(Sat)20:43:43 No.279414971 >on her deathbed >instead of thinking about her children and husband of 70 years she thinks of some homeless dude who f----- her in a boat trip for 2 days >millions of women consider this 70 KB JPG a great love story Why are women like this?

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:31:43 No.68122973 >Finally start actually improving myself >Start balding at the age of 21 >Am manlet with a babyface who cant grow a beard too What did I do to deserve this. My hair is all I have when it comes to looks 32 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:31:43 No.68122973 >Finally start actually improving myself >Start balding at the age of 21 >Am manlet with a babyface who cant grow a beard too What did I do to deserve this. My hair is all I have when it comes to looks 32 KB JPG

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Anon pays a lot for takeout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:00:16 No.68124623 >Order tendies on Grubhub >$30 + tax + driver benefits + mandatory tip It has truly become a doggie dog world. 194 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:05:07 No.68124681 >>68124623 (OP) # >Too lazy to pick up his own takeout I expect in a few years people will become too lazy to use Grubhub or Doordash and will need another app that orders the food for them while they lay in bed like vegetables.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:00:16 No.68124623 >Order tendies on Grubhub >$30 + tax + driver benefits + mandatory tip It has truly become a doggie dog world. 194 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)16:05:07 No.68124681 >>68124623 (OP) # >Too lazy to pick up his own takeout I expect in a few years people will become too lazy to use Grubhub or Doordash and will need another app that orders the food for them while they lay in bed like vegetables.

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Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (2)2vreW )II 04/08/22(Fri)19:14:50 No.371812897 File: 1649001767347.jpg (57 KB, 421x421) >>371813002 >>371813137 >>371813248 A reminder that Ukraine has officially outlasted france in ww2
Anonymous (ID: (2)2vreW )II 04/08/22(Fri)19:14:50 No.371812897 File: 1649001767347.jpg (57 KB, 421x421) >>371813002 >>371813137 >>371813248 A reminder that Ukraine has officially outlasted france in ww2

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anon is a marine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)09:05:39 No.875909696 >be me >military f-- >USMC ships me off to the middle of the New Mexico desert for "training exercises" for months >its bs but whatever >they work us like slaves in 110+ degree heat 110 KB PNG >sand storms nearly blind me every day >little to no free time, I miss my family, I miss my friends, consider going awol but l'd probably die in the desert >they give me a single mango at meal time and suddenly everything becomes worth it Pull through military bots, it gets better.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)09:05:39 No.875909696 >be me >military f-- >USMC ships me off to the middle of the New Mexico desert for "training exercises" for months >its bs but whatever >they work us like slaves in 110+ degree heat 110 KB PNG >sand storms nearly blind me every day >little to no free time, I miss my family, I miss my friends, consider going awol but l'd probably die in the desert >they give me a single mango at meal time and suddenly everything becomes worth it Pull through military bots, it gets better.

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anon wants to go to greenland | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i want to go to nuuk 04/08/22(Fri)20:18:19 No.68127114 >bored >looking at countries on google maps >start looking for most remote areas >come across nuuk, a city in greenland, though it looks more like a small town 72 KB JPG >looks beautiful >come across a subreddit dedicated to it with less than 200 users >look at the photos people posted, they look so comfy and friendly >can imagine myself living there in a small house, making friends, enjoying the snow >no war, no politics, just a small town away from everyone else >fall in love with this town knowing damn well ill never step foot in it pic related, its nuuk
: Anonymous i want to go to nuuk 04/08/22(Fri)20:18:19 No.68127114 >bored >looking at countries on google maps >start looking for most remote areas >come across nuuk, a city in greenland, though it looks more like a small town 72 KB JPG >looks beautiful >come across a subreddit dedicated to it with less than 200 users >look at the photos people posted, they look so comfy and friendly >can imagine myself living there in a small house, making friends, enjoying the snow >no war, no politics, just a small town away from everyone else >fall in love with this town knowing damn well ill never step foot in it pic related, its nuuk

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Anon has an unpopular opinion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)12:17:38 No.854094226 >go on reddit >unpopular opinion subreddit >give unpopular opinion >downvoted how do these retards function 15 KB JPG

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Anon has a bot. | /r/Greentext

I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the 1.51 MB GIF process with a computer program. I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ''completely out of order"" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers.
I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the 1.51 MB GIF process with a computer program. I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ''completely out of order"" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers.

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Anon is on something fr | /r/Greentext

File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 42/x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if vou do this
File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 42/x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21(Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get laid if vou do this

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Anon is amused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:24:17 No.875886350 The thought of some guy making an honest living working at a potato chip factory is so amusing to me >the guy just watches potatoes get turned into chips and puts all of them into bags that get put into 40 KB JPG trucks, that later put the bags into stores >he just gets paid to do all of this >he could be having a rough day and someone could just say, "what's the matter dude? Got a chip on your shoulder? Did you just get LAY'd off?" This is just really fun to think about to me for some reason
: Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)20:24:17 No.875886350 The thought of some guy making an honest living working at a potato chip factory is so amusing to me >the guy just watches potatoes get turned into chips and puts all of them into bags that get put into 40 KB JPG trucks, that later put the bags into stores >he just gets paid to do all of this >he could be having a rough day and someone could just say, "what's the matter dude? Got a chip on your shoulder? Did you just get LAY'd off?" This is just really fun to think about to me for some reason

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Anon cant have shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cant have s--- 06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit
: Anonymous Cant have s--- 06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit

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Anon found love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)10:11:56 No.68122396 >have fat gf >that is the only negative thing about her, and mainly because of health, I've come to appreciate her warmth and she is cute in the face >she's an absolute mommy, caring, cooking, I can act infantile 62 KB PNG around her, is faithful, she's an engineer making lots of money, she's on the pill and she loves creampies >love her so much Take the fat pill, robots. There's plenty of fat girls around 30 who just crave for a good man to take care of.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)10:11:56 No.68122396 >have fat gf >that is the only negative thing about her, and mainly because of health, I've come to appreciate her warmth and she is cute in the face >she's an absolute mommy, caring, cooking, I can act infantile 62 KB PNG around her, is faithful, she's an engineer making lots of money, she's on the pill and she loves creampies >love her so much Take the fat pill, robots. There's plenty of fat girls around 30 who just crave for a good man to take care of.

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Anons mom has a cheese problem | /r/Greentext


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Anon killed two birds with one stone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)00:34:45 No.68115578 >borrows loan from mafia >Too poor to pay back >Am f----- Cya later virgins 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)00:34:45 No.68115578 >borrows loan from mafia >Too poor to pay back >Am f----- Cya later virgins 65 KB JPG

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Anon has an idea for Frozen 3 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)19:01:06 No.129781220 Pitch an idea for Frozen 3. 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)19:02:04 No.129781242 gratuitous incestuous lesbian lovemaking >>129782028 # >>129782100 # >>129782997 # >>129783238 # >>129785326 # >>129786388 # >>129787060 #
: Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)19:01:06 No.129781220 Pitch an idea for Frozen 3. 73 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/05/22(Tue)19:02:04 No.129781242 gratuitous incestuous lesbian lovemaking >>129782028 # >>129782100 # >>129782997 # >>129783238 # >>129785326 # >>129786388 # >>129787060 #

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

JAnonymous 10/14/20(Wed)11:37:57 No.140706471 le: 1533297505203.jpg (45 KB, 793x786) >>140708252 >>140709041 >>14071016 >140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"
JAnonymous 10/14/20(Wed)11:37:57 No.140706471 le: 1533297505203.jpg (45 KB, 793x786) >>140708252 >>140709041 >>14071016 >140705670 (OP) # >Sitting down in an empty public toilet cubicle taking a s--- >Some guy takes the stall next to me >Feel awkward, so I try to break the ice and ask him if he likes movies >He doesn't respond >Start getting nervous, repeat my question but this time louder >He says "not really" >Ask him if he's heard of Drive >He says "No" >Feel kinda mad and hit the wall of the stall that he's on in a fit of rage >Instantly regret it >Say "Sorry" >He doesn't respond >Feel really bad >Hold some money under the stall as a peace offering >He doesn't take it >Tell him to take it >He says no >Feel really freaked out so I wipe, get up and leave >Wait outside the door of the toilet to apologise >See him come out >Say "I just want to apologise" >He says "F--- off"

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Anon has a gf. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:32:42 No.68123837 >be me >finally get a gf >living together for 2 years >show her a study that says the average Sweden girl f---- guy 50 by the age of 23 >she doesn't find that allot >tells me she f----- a ton of guys by yahay 94 KB JPG age 20 she had to make a dairy to keep track >we are 45 >I see the dairy >dairy just says Day X I f----- Z >no details, just a name and the day >it got over 500 entries...
Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:32:42 No.68123837 >be me >finally get a gf >living together for 2 years >show her a study that says the average Sweden girl f---- guy 50 by the age of 23 >she doesn't find that allot >tells me she f----- a ton of guys by yahay 94 KB JPG age 20 she had to make a dairy to keep track >we are 45 >I see the dairy >dairy just says Day X I f----- Z >no details, just a name and the day >it got over 500 entries...

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anon has a depressing teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)15:13:23 No.777423877 >tard story from a while back >so the special ed teacher's son died in a car accident years prior >really sad, well known throughout town 18 KB JPG >couple years later >sped teacher helping the tards with math >one little tard looks at teacher >"hey mrs. anonderson, rember your son?" > she looks at him, nods >"he died" >mfw teacher is holding back tears >tard goes back to doing math poorly I guess tards do have good memory
: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)15:13:23 No.777423877 >tard story from a while back >so the special ed teacher's son died in a car accident years prior >really sad, well known throughout town 18 KB JPG >couple years later >sped teacher helping the tards with math >one little tard looks at teacher >"hey mrs. anonderson, rember your son?" > she looks at him, nods >"he died" >mfw teacher is holding back tears >tard goes back to doing math poorly I guess tards do have good memory

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