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Anon hates women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing
: Anonymous I hate women 02/11/22(Fri)17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person 115 KB JPG >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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Anon goes on Omegle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:28:49 No.875956323 >be me >last night >bored at 12am so go on omegle biggest mistake ever >add some tags for games i like, add the Igbtq tag with intention of doing a little trolling >takes five minutes before i get sent an 58 KB PNG imgur link >literal cp >shut down my computer and disconnect my internet >go to sleep crying about whatever is wrong with this world am i gonna go to jail /b/?
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:28:49 No.875956323 >be me >last night >bored at 12am so go on omegle biggest mistake ever >add some tags for games i like, add the Igbtq tag with intention of doing a little trolling >takes five minutes before i get sent an 58 KB PNG imgur link >literal cp >shut down my computer and disconnect my internet >go to sleep crying about whatever is wrong with this world am i gonna go to jail /b/?

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Anon thinks he is worth smth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >l can protect my wife and offspring from predators >l can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >l have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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anon archers | /r/Greentext

File: 1629358593815.png (379 KB, 500x492) >>59 Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)15:11:33 No.594905576 WOMEN WANT ME FISH FEAR HE >archer character >arrow >DOUBLE ARROW >TRIPLE ARROW >FIRE ARROW >POISON ARROW >ARROW RAAAA AAAAIN >> Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)15:13:37 No.594905714 >>594905576 (OP) >archer attacks with archery BRO Anonymous 04/08/02/Fr015:14:26 No 594906774
File: 1629358593815.png (379 KB, 500x492) >>59 Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)15:11:33 No.594905576 WOMEN WANT ME FISH FEAR HE >archer character >arrow >DOUBLE ARROW >TRIPLE ARROW >FIRE ARROW >POISON ARROW >ARROW RAAAA AAAAIN >> Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)15:13:37 No.594905714 >>594905576 (OP) >archer attacks with archery BRO Anonymous 04/08/02/Fr015:14:26 No 594906774

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we do a little trolling | /r/Greentext

File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 [Reply] >>672749104 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPx viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >'yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. If's b-------" >'no ifs fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw
File: 1442571422947 jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 [Reply] >>672749104 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPx viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that >'yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. If's b-------" >'no ifs fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw

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Anon doesn't exist. | /r/Greentext

File: rtw8nb8rwag(1).jpg (60 KB, 640x480) Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)00:25:59 No.16353104 >Try to post on 4Chan >captcha has worse code than yandere simulator >hate this s--- >suddenly get an idea >use inspect element >start editing the text around >change the photo in photoshop >post it to r/greentext BORP This thread does not exist. It literally does not exist.
File: rtw8nb8rwag(1).jpg (60 KB, 640x480) Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)00:25:59 No.16353104 >Try to post on 4Chan >captcha has worse code than yandere simulator >hate this s--- >suddenly get an idea >use inspect element >start editing the text around >change the photo in photoshop >post it to r/greentext BORP This thread does not exist. It literally does not exist.

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Anon likes cookies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)01:21:25 No.68130677 >be me eating cookies from grandma >be you not eating cookies from grandma 50 KB JPG Why even live
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)01:21:25 No.68130677 >be me eating cookies from grandma >be you not eating cookies from grandma 50 KB JPG Why even live

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What's his secret? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? : Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #
: Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:42:03 No.39596368 >is fat/looks fat >doesn't lift >only eats fish and berries >still faster and stronger than 100% of /fit/ 1.95 MB PNG What is his secret? : Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)16:44:34 No.39596401 He's happy >>39598722 # >>39600157 # >>39601419 # >>39604092 # >>39604310 # >>39604367 # >>39604613 #

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anon gets rated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)02:11:43 No.875953270 Rate me /b/. 104 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)02:13:29 No.875953345 >literally in your own house >mask on actual retard
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)02:11:43 No.875953270 Rate me /b/. 104 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)02:13:29 No.875953345 >literally in your own house >mask on actual retard

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Where did they come from | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 139 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 139 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #

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Anon Farts in English | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Anon made a huge mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon and the Bathroom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20.39 >be me >at a job interview >they're a little busy so they have me waiting in the lobby >decide to open Grindr >hot daddy literally right next to me >tell him I'm just looking but he 5 KB PNG suggests we hook up in the bathroom >say f--- it and meet the dude >flip f--- in the bathroom >he leaves as I'm washing my hands >sit back down in the lobby >couple minutes later, secretary tells me that they're ready for me >open the door Surprise.mp4 >the m------------ is sitting right there waiting to interview me >totally bomb the interview since I was distracted Anyway, still got the job. Though I think it'll be weird at work now : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:41:34 No.875940291 >>875940178 (OP) # F--- can't have threads >>875940734 # : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:50:08 No.875940734 >>875940291 # So why are you posting?
Anonymous 20.39 >be me >at a job interview >they're a little busy so they have me waiting in the lobby >decide to open Grindr >hot daddy literally right next to me >tell him I'm just looking but he 5 KB PNG suggests we hook up in the bathroom >say f--- it and meet the dude >flip f--- in the bathroom >he leaves as I'm washing my hands >sit back down in the lobby >couple minutes later, secretary tells me that they're ready for me >open the door Surprise.mp4 >the m------------ is sitting right there waiting to interview me >totally bomb the interview since I was distracted Anyway, still got the job. Though I think it'll be weird at work now : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:41:34 No.875940291 >>875940178 (OP) # F--- can't have threads >>875940734 # : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:50:08 No.875940734 >>875940291 # So why are you posting?

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Santa helped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:15:48 No.875955870 > be me > 18 > not bad looking just shy af > once I had dream where muscular Santa showed me how to act confident and talk with girls > the dream was really long and I 188 KB JPG remember every single moment > day after I started doing it with my crush > In my mind "what would Santa do?" > I was confident, touchy, funny and everything what Santa did in my dream > After week she accepted hangout and I am sure that she has crush on me Santa is the answer anons.
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:15:48 No.875955870 > be me > 18 > not bad looking just shy af > once I had dream where muscular Santa showed me how to act confident and talk with girls > the dream was really long and I 188 KB JPG remember every single moment > day after I started doing it with my crush > In my mind "what would Santa do?" > I was confident, touchy, funny and everything what Santa did in my dream > After week she accepted hangout and I am sure that she has crush on me Santa is the answer anons.

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anon makes the news | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: nuPrKANL )I I 04/08/22(Fri)06:51:11 No.371772582 >>371772139 (OP) # >write big words on white background >retards consider it real news 11 KB JPG >>371775995 #
: Anonymous (ID: nuPrKANL )I I 04/08/22(Fri)06:51:11 No.371772582 >>371772139 (OP) # >write big words on white background >retards consider it real news 11 KB JPG >>371775995 #

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pretty bri'ish innit? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 04/08/22(Fri)13:38:28 No.162663847 > Barges into territory > Declares it to be a crown colony > Refuses to elaborate > Refuses to leave SLEEK'WTEARS kudxvmgi8zd71.jpg 104 KB JPG >ls that yours? It's mine now. >>162663868 # >>162664245 #
: Anonymous E 04/08/22(Fri)13:38:28 No.162663847 > Barges into territory > Declares it to be a crown colony > Refuses to elaborate > Refuses to leave SLEEK'WTEARS kudxvmgi8zd71.jpg 104 KB JPG >ls that yours? It's mine now. >>162663868 # >>162664245 #

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Anon goes to the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw
File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon has waited for the fruit to mature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)22:29:10 No.68133354 >be me >28-year-old coomer >have a cutie cousin that l've known for all her life >started to become friendly with her and earning her trust when I noticed she started 55 KB JPG developing nicely >not a p--- so plan is to wait until she's 18 >cutie cousin is 17 and so far she hasn't mentioned any boyfriends until recently >f----- she's dating (as much as I tried to get her to tell him to f--- off) is a literal chad >they're leaving for spring break's vacation to a beach near with some friends >pretty f------ sure the a------ will take her virginity anons this s--- is not fair, ive been working her for years now and saved myself for her shes this f------ close to turn 18 h-------- 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)22:29:10 No.68133354 >be me >28-year-old coomer >have a cutie cousin that l've known for all her life >started to become friendly with her and earning her trust when I noticed she started 55 KB JPG developing nicely >not a p--- so plan is to wait until she's 18 >cutie cousin is 17 and so far she hasn't mentioned any boyfriends until recently >f----- she's dating (as much as I tried to get her to tell him to f--- off) is a literal chad >they're leaving for spring break's vacation to a beach near with some friends >pretty f------ sure the a------ will take her virginity anons this s--- is not fair, ive been working her for years now and saved myself for her shes this f------ close to turn 18 h-------- 3 Replies View Thread

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anon plays chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)19:12:10 No.875935899 SALLEEY I see this as an absolute win!! MD6-1.jpg| 103 KB JPG >be me >playing chess in college >chav girls sit at our table >one of them starts f------ with the knight >mildlypeeved.jpg >she starts bitching about s--- for no reason >one of them says "i hate men" out of nowhere >i say "i hate women" >she shuts up >go back to playing chess >win It was a good day, /b/
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)19:12:10 No.875935899 SALLEEY I see this as an absolute win!! MD6-1.jpg| 103 KB JPG >be me >playing chess in college >chav girls sit at our table >one of them starts f------ with the knight >mildlypeeved.jpg >she starts bitching about s--- for no reason >one of them says "i hate men" out of nowhere >i say "i hate women" >she shuts up >go back to playing chess >win It was a good day, /b/

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