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Where did they come from | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 139 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:53:23 No.573742381 >kill a wild boar >it drops 3 coins where do the coins come from? 139 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)19:54:10 No.573742463 >>573742381 (OP) # piggy bank >>573742543 # >>573742709 # >>573742841 # >>573743052 # >>573744128 # >>573744226 # >>573744381 # >>573744918 #

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Anon Farts in English | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Anon made a huge mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Anon and the Bathroom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20.39 >be me >at a job interview >they're a little busy so they have me waiting in the lobby >decide to open Grindr >hot daddy literally right next to me >tell him I'm just looking but he 5 KB PNG suggests we hook up in the bathroom >say f--- it and meet the dude >flip f--- in the bathroom >he leaves as I'm washing my hands >sit back down in the lobby >couple minutes later, secretary tells me that they're ready for me >open the door Surprise.mp4 >the m------------ is sitting right there waiting to interview me >totally bomb the interview since I was distracted Anyway, still got the job. Though I think it'll be weird at work now : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:41:34 No.875940291 >>875940178 (OP) # F--- can't have threads >>875940734 # : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:50:08 No.875940734 >>875940291 # So why are you posting?
Anonymous 20.39 >be me >at a job interview >they're a little busy so they have me waiting in the lobby >decide to open Grindr >hot daddy literally right next to me >tell him I'm just looking but he 5 KB PNG suggests we hook up in the bathroom >say f--- it and meet the dude >flip f--- in the bathroom >he leaves as I'm washing my hands >sit back down in the lobby >couple minutes later, secretary tells me that they're ready for me >open the door Surprise.mp4 >the m------------ is sitting right there waiting to interview me >totally bomb the interview since I was distracted Anyway, still got the job. Though I think it'll be weird at work now : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:41:34 No.875940291 >>875940178 (OP) # F--- can't have threads >>875940734 # : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)20:50:08 No.875940734 >>875940291 # So why are you posting?

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Santa helped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:15:48 No.875955870 > be me > 18 > not bad looking just shy af > once I had dream where muscular Santa showed me how to act confident and talk with girls > the dream was really long and I 188 KB JPG remember every single moment > day after I started doing it with my crush > In my mind "what would Santa do?" > I was confident, touchy, funny and everything what Santa did in my dream > After week she accepted hangout and I am sure that she has crush on me Santa is the answer anons.
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)09:15:48 No.875955870 > be me > 18 > not bad looking just shy af > once I had dream where muscular Santa showed me how to act confident and talk with girls > the dream was really long and I 188 KB JPG remember every single moment > day after I started doing it with my crush > In my mind "what would Santa do?" > I was confident, touchy, funny and everything what Santa did in my dream > After week she accepted hangout and I am sure that she has crush on me Santa is the answer anons.

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anon makes the news | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: nuPrKANL )I I 04/08/22(Fri)06:51:11 No.371772582 >>371772139 (OP) # >write big words on white background >retards consider it real news 11 KB JPG >>371775995 #
: Anonymous (ID: nuPrKANL )I I 04/08/22(Fri)06:51:11 No.371772582 >>371772139 (OP) # >write big words on white background >retards consider it real news 11 KB JPG >>371775995 #

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pretty bri'ish innit? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 04/08/22(Fri)13:38:28 No.162663847 > Barges into territory > Declares it to be a crown colony > Refuses to elaborate > Refuses to leave SLEEK'WTEARS kudxvmgi8zd71.jpg 104 KB JPG >ls that yours? It's mine now. >>162663868 # >>162664245 #
: Anonymous E 04/08/22(Fri)13:38:28 No.162663847 > Barges into territory > Declares it to be a crown colony > Refuses to elaborate > Refuses to leave SLEEK'WTEARS kudxvmgi8zd71.jpg 104 KB JPG >ls that yours? It's mine now. >>162663868 # >>162664245 #

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Anon goes to the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw
File: mfw. jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon has waited for the fruit to mature | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)22:29:10 No.68133354 >be me >28-year-old coomer >have a cutie cousin that l've known for all her life >started to become friendly with her and earning her trust when I noticed she started 55 KB JPG developing nicely >not a p--- so plan is to wait until she's 18 >cutie cousin is 17 and so far she hasn't mentioned any boyfriends until recently >f----- she's dating (as much as I tried to get her to tell him to f--- off) is a literal chad >they're leaving for spring break's vacation to a beach near with some friends >pretty f------ sure the a------ will take her virginity anons this s--- is not fair, ive been working her for years now and saved myself for her shes this f------ close to turn 18 h-------- 3 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)22:29:10 No.68133354 >be me >28-year-old coomer >have a cutie cousin that l've known for all her life >started to become friendly with her and earning her trust when I noticed she started 55 KB JPG developing nicely >not a p--- so plan is to wait until she's 18 >cutie cousin is 17 and so far she hasn't mentioned any boyfriends until recently >f----- she's dating (as much as I tried to get her to tell him to f--- off) is a literal chad >they're leaving for spring break's vacation to a beach near with some friends >pretty f------ sure the a------ will take her virginity anons this s--- is not fair, ive been working her for years now and saved myself for her shes this f------ close to turn 18 h-------- 3 Replies View Thread

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anon plays chess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)19:12:10 No.875935899 SALLEEY I see this as an absolute win!! MD6-1.jpg| 103 KB JPG >be me >playing chess in college >chav girls sit at our table >one of them starts f------ with the knight >mildlypeeved.jpg >she starts bitching about s--- for no reason >one of them says "i hate men" out of nowhere >i say "i hate women" >she shuts up >go back to playing chess >win It was a good day, /b/
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)19:12:10 No.875935899 SALLEEY I see this as an absolute win!! MD6-1.jpg| 103 KB JPG >be me >playing chess in college >chav girls sit at our table >one of them starts f------ with the knight >mildlypeeved.jpg >she starts bitching about s--- for no reason >one of them says "i hate men" out of nowhere >i say "i hate women" >she shuts up >go back to playing chess >win It was a good day, /b/

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Anon is friends with a supreme gentleman. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous do not befriend fellow incels 04/08/22(Fri)21:17:20 No.68132641 >start talking to girl for first time in years >tell my friend >he stalks her or something and gets a job where she works >plays it off as a coincidence >later on i find out he's been acting weird towards her 68 KB JPG >he gets angry at me for still talking to her >turns out he thought she'd just as easily go for him because we're both pretty low value men >he starts giving me the whole "supreme gentleman" s--- and saying girls never want nice guys like him
Anonymous do not befriend fellow incels 04/08/22(Fri)21:17:20 No.68132641 >start talking to girl for first time in years >tell my friend >he stalks her or something and gets a job where she works >plays it off as a coincidence >later on i find out he's been acting weird towards her 68 KB JPG >he gets angry at me for still talking to her >turns out he thought she'd just as easily go for him because we're both pretty low value men >he starts giving me the whole "supreme gentleman" s--- and saying girls never want nice guys like him

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Anon spots white woman | /r/Greentext

E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"
E500C3AB-FCBD-4C06-B75F-F3DC53E35607.png 58 KB PNG >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"

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Anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

File: MME73.jpg (281 KB, 2000x2000) O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:20:12 No.68119748 [Reply] D>68122162 >>68122230 > $300 How do you normies buy this kinda stuff? Arent you afraid youre going to lose them? Meanwhile I can buy and replace those $14 3.5mm of the same brand.
File: MME73.jpg (281 KB, 2000x2000) O Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)05:20:12 No.68119748 [Reply] D>68122162 >>68122230 > $300 How do you normies buy this kinda stuff? Arent you afraid youre going to lose them? Meanwhile I can buy and replace those $14 3.5mm of the same brand.

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anon goes out in glory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: GAUEENOP 04/08/22(Fri)11:34:22 No.371816008 2Q== jpg 201 KB JPG >Computer, generate a replica of Counselor Deanna Troi, at age 38 after bearing three children. >Computer, now make her 200 feet tall, and generate a medieval landscape around us. >Computer, place her several kilometers away, and load her into a catapult that is powerful enough to launch her into the air. >Computer, make sure the Counselor's legs are spread, and adjust the catapult's trajectory so that Counselor Troi's vagina will collide with my position. >Computer, have Counselor Troi scream passages from the collected works of Hitler's speeches while she is mid- air, randomize selection. >Computer, disengage safety protocols. Submit file 'Barclay Suicide Message' to Captain Picard, Counselor Deanna Troi and Doctor Beverley Crusher. >Computer, launch.
: Anonymous (ID: GAUEENOP 04/08/22(Fri)11:34:22 No.371816008 2Q== jpg 201 KB JPG >Computer, generate a replica of Counselor Deanna Troi, at age 38 after bearing three children. >Computer, now make her 200 feet tall, and generate a medieval landscape around us. >Computer, place her several kilometers away, and load her into a catapult that is powerful enough to launch her into the air. >Computer, make sure the Counselor's legs are spread, and adjust the catapult's trajectory so that Counselor Troi's vagina will collide with my position. >Computer, have Counselor Troi scream passages from the collected works of Hitler's speeches while she is mid- air, randomize selection. >Computer, disengage safety protocols. Submit file 'Barclay Suicide Message' to Captain Picard, Counselor Deanna Troi and Doctor Beverley Crusher. >Computer, launch.

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A non stays virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right

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Anon uses ebay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)17:26:55 No.68126035 >30ish YO roastie messages me on whatsapp about a thing im selling on ebay, shes pretty hot >its practically a bargain since im looking to get rid of it fast >respond the same minute because i was just on my phone >check phone 10 minutes later, she blocked 184 KB JPG me, probably saw my pfp >ugly bros, its over.
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)17:26:55 No.68126035 >30ish YO roastie messages me on whatsapp about a thing im selling on ebay, shes pretty hot >its practically a bargain since im looking to get rid of it fast >respond the same minute because i was just on my phone >check phone 10 minutes later, she blocked 184 KB JPG me, probably saw my pfp >ugly bros, its over.

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Anon forgets he‘s in real life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in 303 KB JPG my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. Luckily I could hold myself back.
: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:26:09 No.63407494 >9/10 coworker says she needs to take a piss but the toilets are under maintenance >forget I'm not on the internet and almost say "why don't you piss in 303 KB JPG my mouth" It almost came out of my mouth. Luckily I could hold myself back.

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Anon is the average v-tuber fan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:19:56 No.22002452 https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9631 [Open] this is the moment that Gura felt her menstruation coming out, you can see her looking down to check on her crotch. 228 KB JPG https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9643 [Open] here she says "i might need to..." then pauses and her pupils show that she's rapidly looking at random directions instead of looking at the listener(chat) this indicates embarrassment and that her brain is trying to come up with a false excuse to leave. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9650 [Open] here she says "pee" in a monotone way that indicates she wasn't sure about her choice of words, another sign that it's just an excuse. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9659 [Open] here Gura uses "i should probably" instead of "i have to" this means that there's no real urgency in her necessity, unlike someone who really needs to pee. After that she leaves for about 1:45min females can actually urinate faster than males, even with a full bladder they should take about 20 seconds to finish and about 15 to wipe themselves then a few more seconds to wash their hands, the whole process should take not much more than 60 seconds considering her toilet is very close bacause she felt the necessity to avoid any possible noises with the loud technical issues screen on top of just muting the audio. 1:45min would be too much time, that way we can assume that she spent 30 more seconds to open and put a pad on. >>22002615 # >>22002639 # >>22002662 # >>22002825 # >>22002902 # >>22003093 # >>22003314 # >>22003380 # >>22003522 # >>22005939 # >>22006217 # >>22006275 # >>22006433 # ...
Anonymous 04/07/22(Thu)16:19:56 No.22002452 https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9631 [Open] this is the moment that Gura felt her menstruation coming out, you can see her looking down to check on her crotch. 228 KB JPG https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9643 [Open] here she says "i might need to..." then pauses and her pupils show that she's rapidly looking at random directions instead of looking at the listener(chat) this indicates embarrassment and that her brain is trying to come up with a false excuse to leave. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9650 [Open] here she says "pee" in a monotone way that indicates she wasn't sure about her choice of words, another sign that it's just an excuse. https://youtu.be/8XiwapsWPU4?t=9659 [Open] here Gura uses "i should probably" instead of "i have to" this means that there's no real urgency in her necessity, unlike someone who really needs to pee. After that she leaves for about 1:45min females can actually urinate faster than males, even with a full bladder they should take about 20 seconds to finish and about 15 to wipe themselves then a few more seconds to wash their hands, the whole process should take not much more than 60 seconds considering her toilet is very close bacause she felt the necessity to avoid any possible noises with the loud technical issues screen on top of just muting the audio. 1:45min would be too much time, that way we can assume that she spent 30 more seconds to open and put a pad on. >>22002615 # >>22002639 # >>22002662 # >>22002825 # >>22002902 # >>22003093 # >>22003314 # >>22003380 # >>22003522 # >>22005939 # >>22006217 # >>22006275 # >>22006433 # ...

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:33:28 No.68120980 >been making crazy gains the past 6 months >feeling confident about my body >walking home from the gym GORILLA MODE >time to eat >hopped up on 2 scoops of gorilla mode preworkout >smoke some weed on my way to the 57 KB JPG grocery store >buying steak and cheese hot pockets in a section of the freezer isle labled "meals for one" >some woman comes up to me and comments "oh thats my favorite one too!" as she grabs the next box off the shelf >trying to say something funny I comment "heh, 'meals for one', how bout its just a box with a single bullet it haha" >she reply's "oh no, thats ok;" and quickly walks away w-- was my joke that bad?
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)07:33:28 No.68120980 >been making crazy gains the past 6 months >feeling confident about my body >walking home from the gym GORILLA MODE >time to eat >hopped up on 2 scoops of gorilla mode preworkout >smoke some weed on my way to the 57 KB JPG grocery store >buying steak and cheese hot pockets in a section of the freezer isle labled "meals for one" >some woman comes up to me and comments "oh thats my favorite one too!" as she grabs the next box off the shelf >trying to say something funny I comment "heh, 'meals for one', how bout its just a box with a single bullet it haha" >she reply's "oh no, thats ok;" and quickly walks away w-- was my joke that bad?

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