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Silly Billie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:29:12 No.166441453 >>166439336 (OP) # I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink"
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:29:12 No.166441453 >>166439336 (OP) # I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink"

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anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49206462 Vor 4 Std. •.. after a hard workout I go home and sit in front of a space-heater and pretend it's a Dark Souls bonfire extra: >i also bring a thermos mug full of warm water and chug it between sets pretending it's an Estus Flask 92,3 kB JPG like this is probably actual autism but i mean i hit 2/3/4/5 so f--- what anybody says kek 5 REPLIES
Anonymous | 49206462 Vor 4 Std. •.. after a hard workout I go home and sit in front of a space-heater and pretend it's a Dark Souls bonfire extra: >i also bring a thermos mug full of warm water and chug it between sets pretending it's an Estus Flask 92,3 kB JPG like this is probably actual autism but i mean i hit 2/3/4/5 so f--- what anybody says kek 5 REPLIES

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Anon lives in a dystopian future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Do we even exist 04/11/22(Mon)22:31:41 No.68175473 Please help me: >be me >finish CompSci degree >move to small apartment in another city >Covid happens, get laid off after only 1 32 KB PNG year >find new job, 100% remote >every day, my boss gives out tasks and bugs on the Microsoft scrum board, I solve them, repeat >Get paid really after taxes, and spend less than $850 on rent, water and electricity. ally well. I make like $3800 >never seen my boss or my colleagues in real life. They don't turn on cameras during the few meetings we have >order most stuff through delivery services cause it's cheaper. They place the big box in front of the door, ring the bell and go away >haven't called or spoken to my parents, they didn't want me anyway and didn't reach out themselves... >just get tasks, solve them, wait until my shift is over then sit around until I fall asleep and do nothing because everything is dull >don't have interest in movies/video games anymore, numb >haven't left my apartment for over 2 years >haven't spoken to another person in 2 years >don't have friends lost contact to the few people I knew from college >l'm basically alone in my apartment complex. I haven't heard a neighbor for like 3 months or so >don't have a partner >total savings are $70000 in cash/stocks but no idea what to use it for
: Anonymous Do we even exist 04/11/22(Mon)22:31:41 No.68175473 Please help me: >be me >finish CompSci degree >move to small apartment in another city >Covid happens, get laid off after only 1 32 KB PNG year >find new job, 100% remote >every day, my boss gives out tasks and bugs on the Microsoft scrum board, I solve them, repeat >Get paid really after taxes, and spend less than $850 on rent, water and electricity. ally well. I make like $3800 >never seen my boss or my colleagues in real life. They don't turn on cameras during the few meetings we have >order most stuff through delivery services cause it's cheaper. They place the big box in front of the door, ring the bell and go away >haven't called or spoken to my parents, they didn't want me anyway and didn't reach out themselves... >just get tasks, solve them, wait until my shift is over then sit around until I fall asleep and do nothing because everything is dull >don't have interest in movies/video games anymore, numb >haven't left my apartment for over 2 years >haven't spoken to another person in 2 years >don't have friends lost contact to the few people I knew from college >l'm basically alone in my apartment complex. I haven't heard a neighbor for like 3 months or so >don't have a partner >total savings are $70000 in cash/stocks but no idea what to use it for

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Anon has plans | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:36:25 No.876119412 ► >876119645 File: f81.png (162 KB, 680x717) >talking with coworkers >somehow topic of conversation shifts to money >mention that I have about a few thousand dollars in my savings account (separate from retirement account) >coworkers agree that it's smart to have a rainy day fund >MFW it's actually in case I want to kill myself, I can buy some nice whiskey and eat at a fancy restaurant first
O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:36:25 No.876119412 ► >876119645 File: f81.png (162 KB, 680x717) >talking with coworkers >somehow topic of conversation shifts to money >mention that I have about a few thousand dollars in my savings account (separate from retirement account) >coworkers agree that it's smart to have a rainy day fund >MFW it's actually in case I want to kill myself, I can buy some nice whiskey and eat at a fancy restaurant first

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Anon gets trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)01:14:12 No.793369438 I think I've f----- up boys >be me >have really cool gf >we're into all the same stuff >the works, vidya, superheroes, and green text >she shows me a green text she 55 KB JPG made >mfw I realize girls don't use 4chan >mfw I realize she's a trap >mfw I'm gay now
: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)01:14:12 No.793369438 I think I've f----- up boys >be me >have really cool gf >we're into all the same stuff >the works, vidya, superheroes, and green text >she shows me a green text she 55 KB JPG made >mfw I realize girls don't use 4chan >mfw I realize she's a trap >mfw I'm gay now

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Anon doesn't want to see any shrimp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:30:27 No.876141399 >Be me >work on a boat >new mate gets aboard >obviously gay has the feminine accent and flamboyant attitude >eating In the galley >he comes in 200 KB JPG >f--- >he starts talking to me about work and the boat >oknotatotalfaggot.jpeg >I complain that it gets kind of hot because my room is right above the engines >"Just keep your door open I always keep mine open for airflow... and visitors" >does the gayest little giggle after >he leaves with a little strut and perverted grin >what the f--- >Locked my door from then on till he got off
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:30:27 No.876141399 >Be me >work on a boat >new mate gets aboard >obviously gay has the feminine accent and flamboyant attitude >eating In the galley >he comes in 200 KB JPG >f--- >he starts talking to me about work and the boat >oknotatotalfaggot.jpeg >I complain that it gets kind of hot because my room is right above the engines >"Just keep your door open I always keep mine open for airflow... and visitors" >does the gayest little giggle after >he leaves with a little strut and perverted grin >what the f--- >Locked my door from then on till he got off

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Anon is a loyal customer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)14:37:12 No.15685527 >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices >halfway through realize how bad 411 KB GIF this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....
: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)14:37:12 No.15685527 >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices >halfway through realize how bad 411 KB GIF this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....

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Anon has a condor | /r/Greentext

File: cutiewithtits jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 15:59 No 629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16: 18 No. 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 16.40 No. 629177042 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:53 No. 629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No 629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No. 629177428 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 • >629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997 gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet
File: cutiewithtits jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 15:59 No 629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16: 18 No. 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 16.40 No. 629177042 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:53 No. 629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No 629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No. 629177428 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 • >629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997 gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet

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Anon is unsure | /r/Greentext

I'm Jewish and black - where do I fit in? agepocolo.jpg 34 KB JPG Well? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)02:16:10 No.874296279 >>874294028 (OP) # back of the oven.
I'm Jewish and black - where do I fit in? agepocolo.jpg 34 KB JPG Well? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)02:16:10 No.874296279 >>874294028 (OP) # back of the oven.

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Anon can't pick up on social cues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:24:48 No.876141240 >be me >get facetime call >say "whats up" >"not much" >ask what she wanted to talk about >"nothing" >she gets mad when i hang up? 7 KB JPG why are women like this
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:24:48 No.876141240 >be me >get facetime call >say "whats up" >"not much" >ask what she wanted to talk about >"nothing" >she gets mad when i hang up? 7 KB JPG why are women like this

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I'm sure redditors can relate to anon's situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)09:53:11 No.868814404 >dates a girl for 3 months >she's really cool, we have similar interests and sense of humor >finally going to have sex with her >unzip my pants >"What is that thing? What do you I ant 21 KB JPG expect me to do with that?" >w-what? >"It's like a third arm. I don't have room for that." >she leaves my apartment >we text later, says she had an ex that tore her vag with her d--- >apparently, he was "big" but still not as "big" as me (I'm a little over 7 and a half inches, about 6 inches thick) >now she's afraid of large d---- >she apologizes and says we aren't compatible >we agree to break up >feelsbadman >over the next two days, get texts from three of cousin (all female) to hookup her frie an >feelsbetterman
: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)09:53:11 No.868814404 >dates a girl for 3 months >she's really cool, we have similar interests and sense of humor >finally going to have sex with her >unzip my pants >"What is that thing? What do you I ant 21 KB JPG expect me to do with that?" >w-what? >"It's like a third arm. I don't have room for that." >she leaves my apartment >we text later, says she had an ex that tore her vag with her d--- >apparently, he was "big" but still not as "big" as me (I'm a little over 7 and a half inches, about 6 inches thick) >now she's afraid of large d---- >she apologizes and says we aren't compatible >we agree to break up >feelsbadman >over the next two days, get texts from three of cousin (all female) to hookup her frie an >feelsbetterman

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Imbalance of Power | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:26:04 No.68180721 >lesbian uses dildo daily >no problem, she's still a lesbian >i, a straight man use a dildo once >im immediately called gay what is this double standard 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:27:35 No.68180739 >>68180721 (OP) # well we already knew the woman was gay.
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:26:04 No.68180721 >lesbian uses dildo daily >no problem, she's still a lesbian >i, a straight man use a dildo once >im immediately called gay what is this double standard 13 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:27:35 No.68180739 >>68180721 (OP) # well we already knew the woman was gay.

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again not >greentext but another story I found last night, what do you guys think of this story? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)02:55:55 No.876064561 >>876063202 # OK here's a true story... I was smoking a c-------- outside a bar with a friend and the black manager came outside and told me to move away, I said this is a public area, I'm just taking to my friend. The black manager went straight into fight mode and started yelling at us to move away, but it was a public area.. He didn't own the area nor the bar. So I told him again, we're just talking and will move away in 5 minutes after our discussion, yet his authority and masculinity was insulted. So he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me about 10foot into the air and i landed on my back, my head was bleeding from the fall. So I called the police for being assaulted in a public place.. He told the police I was calling him a n-----.. So the police arrested me and held me in a cell over night, adding disorderly behaviour to my record. He got away with assaulting me and I got a criminal record... You ask me why I'm racist???
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)02:55:55 No.876064561 >>876063202 # OK here's a true story... I was smoking a c-------- outside a bar with a friend and the black manager came outside and told me to move away, I said this is a public area, I'm just taking to my friend. The black manager went straight into fight mode and started yelling at us to move away, but it was a public area.. He didn't own the area nor the bar. So I told him again, we're just talking and will move away in 5 minutes after our discussion, yet his authority and masculinity was insulted. So he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me about 10foot into the air and i landed on my back, my head was bleeding from the fall. So I called the police for being assaulted in a public place.. He told the police I was calling him a n-----.. So the police arrested me and held me in a cell over night, adding disorderly behaviour to my record. He got away with assaulting me and I got a criminal record... You ask me why I'm racist???

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Anon caught his brother red handed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)02:45:27 No.68178271 >be me college student >all i do is study, eat, beat my meat, sleep repeat >decide to get a new hobby >start to learn how to draw >after a few weeks i start to get 501 KB JPG better >keep secret from everyone >ffw few months >doing art commisions & managed to get a nice amount of $ >go to take a s--- >accidentaly leave my latop on >came back seeing my little brother looking at my male x male art folder >we lock eyes >not only that but i could see his boner popping through his pj >told him not to tell anybody about it >he leaves w/o saying anything What should I do? We also share the same bed
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)02:45:27 No.68178271 >be me college student >all i do is study, eat, beat my meat, sleep repeat >decide to get a new hobby >start to learn how to draw >after a few weeks i start to get 501 KB JPG better >keep secret from everyone >ffw few months >doing art commisions & managed to get a nice amount of $ >go to take a s--- >accidentaly leave my latop on >came back seeing my little brother looking at my male x male art folder >we lock eyes >not only that but i could see his boner popping through his pj >told him not to tell anybody about it >he leaves w/o saying anything What should I do? We also share the same bed

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Anon was playing vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)20:13:52 No.876123891 >be me some time ago >playing vidya >Suddenly get a persistent and inexplicable desire to find a loving wife and have children who look up 63 KB JPG to me A few days ago I wasn't even thinking about any of this. What the f--- is happening to me?
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)20:13:52 No.876123891 >be me some time ago >playing vidya >Suddenly get a persistent and inexplicable desire to find a loving wife and have children who look up 63 KB JPG to me A few days ago I wasn't even thinking about any of this. What the f--- is happening to me?

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Anon’s ultimate move | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)22:54:04 No.129908869 >summon blue eyes abyss dragon >then have sex with it >end my turn
Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)22:54:04 No.129908869 >summon blue eyes abyss dragon >then have sex with it >end my turn

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Anon loses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 04/11/22(Mon)00:52:08 No.68165617 >Be me, 26, khv >Best friend is a l----- >Playing vidya at her place couple days ago >Moment of stupidity/bravery >Offer a bet >If I win, she gives me a b------, if 67 KB JPG she wins, I'll give her an IOU >She actually agrees >Try super hard, wins >She doesn't back out >Literally googles how to give a bj >Whatever, itshappening >Feels good, but not that good >C-- in like two minutes >She makes a face >Takes a drink, returns to vidya with no further comment >Oh >Feel incredibly empty >Play a few more rounds then make excuse to leave F---. What the hell did I expect? : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)00:57:22 No.68165691 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:08:12 No.68165809 she probably thought it would be more comedic than it actually was, but when you sat there autistically getting your d--- sucked without playing up the irony it became weird and unfunny. I think the relationship is over.
: Anonymous = 04/11/22(Mon)00:52:08 No.68165617 >Be me, 26, khv >Best friend is a l----- >Playing vidya at her place couple days ago >Moment of stupidity/bravery >Offer a bet >If I win, she gives me a b------, if 67 KB JPG she wins, I'll give her an IOU >She actually agrees >Try super hard, wins >She doesn't back out >Literally googles how to give a bj >Whatever, itshappening >Feels good, but not that good >C-- in like two minutes >She makes a face >Takes a drink, returns to vidya with no further comment >Oh >Feel incredibly empty >Play a few more rounds then make excuse to leave F---. What the hell did I expect? : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)00:57:22 No.68165691 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:08:12 No.68165809 she probably thought it would be more comedic than it actually was, but when you sat there autistically getting your d--- sucked without playing up the irony it became weird and unfunny. I think the relationship is over.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dq5SZ7Qc Help 04/11/22(Mon)19:43:28 No.372385176 4894924C-4FCD-4410-9199-C5D7A5CEDB14.jpg 49 KB JPG >be me >French >It's election time and we have two choices >Option A: Marine Le Pen, a far-right nationalistic a------ >Option B: Macron who is Macron Soon we will have to choose one of them to be in charge of all of France for the next 5 years
: Anonymous (ID: dq5SZ7Qc Help 04/11/22(Mon)19:43:28 No.372385176 4894924C-4FCD-4410-9199-C5D7A5CEDB14.jpg 49 KB JPG >be me >French >It's election time and we have two choices >Option A: Marine Le Pen, a far-right nationalistic a------ >Option B: Macron who is Macron Soon we will have to choose one of them to be in charge of all of France for the next 5 years

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Anon has a lot of chromosomes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 -ID te.e>>53625789 (OP) # R(R e, 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 -ID te.e>>53625789 (OP) # R(R e, 50 KB JPG

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Anon is... Or is he | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG
Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG

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