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Bamboozled, eh? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)01:58:13 No.787483512 >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born >Growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister is a hottie >Accidentally found a video that she made of herself >l thought she was so f------ beautiful that I watched it twice >Would have watched it a lot more, but crazy s--- went down and I had to leave home >At this point, totally lusting after my sister >She was also having bad trouble with the law >Actually in custody when I left home >Friend and I go to pick her up >I Just wanted to f--- her brains out >l think she had feelings for me too >Kissed me when we picked her up >Definitely WAS NOT a sisterly kiss >Friend told me he wants to get with my sister >jealous.jpg >Not much happened between me and my sister for a while >At this point, we were all wanted and moving around a lot >Serious sexual tension between my friend and sister >l get hurt badly and almost die >While in recover, sister gives me another not sisterly kiss >We spend some time apart >l get really religious, try not to think of her that way >l was totally over her >We go sailing a year later (nothing romantic) >She's in the hottest f------ bikini ever >All those feelings come back >She ends up with my friend from before >After all this, we were at a party >Sister and I were outside alone >Kill the mood by telling her that Darth Vader is our father and I have to go face him
: Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)01:58:13 No.787483512 >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born >Growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister is a hottie >Accidentally found a video that she made of herself >l thought she was so f------ beautiful that I watched it twice >Would have watched it a lot more, but crazy s--- went down and I had to leave home >At this point, totally lusting after my sister >She was also having bad trouble with the law >Actually in custody when I left home >Friend and I go to pick her up >I Just wanted to f--- her brains out >l think she had feelings for me too >Kissed me when we picked her up >Definitely WAS NOT a sisterly kiss >Friend told me he wants to get with my sister >jealous.jpg >Not much happened between me and my sister for a while >At this point, we were all wanted and moving around a lot >Serious sexual tension between my friend and sister >l get hurt badly and almost die >While in recover, sister gives me another not sisterly kiss >We spend some time apart >l get really religious, try not to think of her that way >l was totally over her >We go sailing a year later (nothing romantic) >She's in the hottest f------ bikini ever >All those feelings come back >She ends up with my friend from before >After all this, we were at a party >Sister and I were outside alone >Kill the mood by telling her that Darth Vader is our father and I have to go face him

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Anon finds a reason to live | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live
: Anonymous 10/04/21(Mon)19:26:15 No.864396347 hqdefault.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >thinking of killing myself >realise if I kill myself then nikado avocado will have outlived me. >Continue to live

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Anon writes a research paper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)15:40:36 No.49549340 >accidentally submitted the wrong version of my paper on Rwandan genocide >was a version I fooled around in >the word 'genocide' replaced with 'kiddy slide' 76 KB JPG >includes lines like 'The Rwandan Kiddy Slide had a death toll of around 800,000 people' >tfw too late to resubmit what do i do did this ever happen to you guys
: Anonymous 11/28/18(Wed)15:40:36 No.49549340 >accidentally submitted the wrong version of my paper on Rwandan genocide >was a version I fooled around in >the word 'genocide' replaced with 'kiddy slide' 76 KB JPG >includes lines like 'The Rwandan Kiddy Slide had a death toll of around 800,000 people' >tfw too late to resubmit what do i do did this ever happen to you guys

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It's just a prank bro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3/Ea54yl) 08/19/13(Mon)17:21:01 No.500877118 >>500875189 (OP) # >Be senior in highschool >Want to pull senior prank with buddy >Head to senior parking lot night before school >Put an orange traffic cone in the middle of a parking spot and fill it with quick set cement >Think: Hahaaha this will be funny when the teachers cant move the cone lolol >Friend and I head home for the night. >Now I wasnt there to see it, but apparently this happened: Cue next morning and students are arriving for school. >Senior dushbag in his dad's 100,000USD Audi come flying into the parking lot. >Dbag tells friends to watch him "drift" around the cone >Dbag completely f---- up and slams into cone at 45 ish mph >Me and my friend's carpool gets there about 5 - 8 minutes after this >Parts of the Audi all over the parking lot, bumper is destroyed, the engine is smoking, and rear driver side tire is flat >Friend and I just keep walking past the crying kid >swear to secrecy >MFW Highschool was so long ago I dont give a f---
Anonymous (ID: 3/Ea54yl) 08/19/13(Mon)17:21:01 No.500877118 >>500875189 (OP) # >Be senior in highschool >Want to pull senior prank with buddy >Head to senior parking lot night before school >Put an orange traffic cone in the middle of a parking spot and fill it with quick set cement >Think: Hahaaha this will be funny when the teachers cant move the cone lolol >Friend and I head home for the night. >Now I wasnt there to see it, but apparently this happened: Cue next morning and students are arriving for school. >Senior dushbag in his dad's 100,000USD Audi come flying into the parking lot. >Dbag tells friends to watch him "drift" around the cone >Dbag completely f---- up and slams into cone at 45 ish mph >Me and my friend's carpool gets there about 5 - 8 minutes after this >Parts of the Audi all over the parking lot, bumper is destroyed, the engine is smoking, and rear driver side tire is flat >Friend and I just keep walking past the crying kid >swear to secrecy >MFW Highschool was so long ago I dont give a f---

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Anon trolled himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:16:14 No.68191265 >started nofap to improve my routine and be more energetic >do it for a year or so >inb4 got promoted at the job >also i got prostate cancer now 53 KB JPG Don't fall for the bait...
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:16:14 No.68191265 >started nofap to improve my routine and be more energetic >do it for a year or so >inb4 got promoted at the job >also i got prostate cancer now 53 KB JPG Don't fall for the bait...

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Anon has seen it all. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)22:46:24 No.774164138 Work stories thread? Work stories thread. >Be me. Aged/Disability care worker. >All sorts of old f------ in my care 6 KB JPG home, but I mostly deal with dementia patients. >God damned goofy bastard dementia patients >One little old bastard must've been a boy when the dinosaurs were still around >Literally old as dirt. >We learn from his family that he had a little black dog back in the 40's. >Dog's name was N-----. >F------ wish I was making this s--- up. >Old bastard still thinks he's living at home in the 40's with N-----. >Constantly walks around the facility asking all the staff if we've seen N-----. >Walks around yelling out N----- as loud as his old lungs can manage. >Find out this morning we've got a new staff member coming on board next week. >They're dark skinned (not sure actual heritage but still) Looking forward to how this plays out /b/ros. View Thread
: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)22:46:24 No.774164138 Work stories thread? Work stories thread. >Be me. Aged/Disability care worker. >All sorts of old f------ in my care 6 KB JPG home, but I mostly deal with dementia patients. >God damned goofy bastard dementia patients >One little old bastard must've been a boy when the dinosaurs were still around >Literally old as dirt. >We learn from his family that he had a little black dog back in the 40's. >Dog's name was N-----. >F------ wish I was making this s--- up. >Old bastard still thinks he's living at home in the 40's with N-----. >Constantly walks around the facility asking all the staff if we've seen N-----. >Walks around yelling out N----- as loud as his old lungs can manage. >Find out this morning we've got a new staff member coming on board next week. >They're dark skinned (not sure actual heritage but still) Looking forward to how this plays out /b/ros. View Thread

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Anon made a friend. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)22:16:39 No.876186308 >be me, wageslave still living with parents >get dragged to backyard bbq at parents' friends house >browsing /b/ on my phone when host brings her grandson over to 220 KB PNG meet me >kid is like 9 or 10 years old >"He likes video games too! Maybe you guys can talk shop!" >he just sits there, eyeing me nervously >not sure what else to say, I ask if he likes Roblox >kid proceeds to talk about Roblox nonstop for the next three f------ hours >l just sit there and get progressively more f----- up on cheap bourbon while half-listening to me >wake up the next morning, hungover as s--- >see texts from the kids mom on my phone, thanking me for being so nice to him >apparently the kid won't stop talking about his cool new friend >MFW I just wanted to stay home and shitpost
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)22:16:39 No.876186308 >be me, wageslave still living with parents >get dragged to backyard bbq at parents' friends house >browsing /b/ on my phone when host brings her grandson over to 220 KB PNG meet me >kid is like 9 or 10 years old >"He likes video games too! Maybe you guys can talk shop!" >he just sits there, eyeing me nervously >not sure what else to say, I ask if he likes Roblox >kid proceeds to talk about Roblox nonstop for the next three f------ hours >l just sit there and get progressively more f----- up on cheap bourbon while half-listening to me >wake up the next morning, hungover as s--- >see texts from the kids mom on my phone, thanking me for being so nice to him >apparently the kid won't stop talking about his cool new friend >MFW I just wanted to stay home and shitpost

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Anon loses a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)07:28:43 No.59865312 File: pain.jpg (165 KB, 1024x962) >>59865252 # >used to live in small b------ nowhere village >everyone had cats there, got pretty comfy with them >move back to city with family >don't know anyone and pretty autistic >dark times >cat in neighborhood scratches my window one day >let her in >we become friends, talk about s----- life >few weeks later >no cat >hear from my mother that the neighbors put down their cat >it was my friend, they didn't have time for it That s--- was hard.
Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)07:28:43 No.59865312 File: pain.jpg (165 KB, 1024x962) >>59865252 # >used to live in small b------ nowhere village >everyone had cats there, got pretty comfy with them >move back to city with family >don't know anyone and pretty autistic >dark times >cat in neighborhood scratches my window one day >let her in >we become friends, talk about s----- life >few weeks later >no cat >hear from my mother that the neighbors put down their cat >it was my friend, they didn't have time for it That s--- was hard.

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Anon is no longer hateful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)13:36:29 No.876159232 I think I had a character arc today >be me >blackanon >Barbadian >nothing to do today so me and my father decide to go swim with the turtles like dumb 53 KB JPG tourists because it's cheap and it's something to do >forgot it's spring break in other countries >there's already some british that live here but during vacation time more come >i hate the British >the gall they have to come here like they still own the place after centuries of brutally enslaving us >i hate the British >sit on the beach chairs at the turtle place waiting for the boat to come pick us up >of course there's some Brit's sitting next to us >l'm tortured by listening to their disgusting accents >there's no way they're real, they actually say s--- like 'innitť >they're generic late 40's British people that seem ripped out of a cliche movie >boat comes >of f------ course they're on the same boat as us >i hate the British >after we're done swimming with the first they strike up a conversation with me and my father >actually quite nice >after me and my dad go their hotels bar with them >had an actual good time >don't hate the British
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)13:36:29 No.876159232 I think I had a character arc today >be me >blackanon >Barbadian >nothing to do today so me and my father decide to go swim with the turtles like dumb 53 KB JPG tourists because it's cheap and it's something to do >forgot it's spring break in other countries >there's already some british that live here but during vacation time more come >i hate the British >the gall they have to come here like they still own the place after centuries of brutally enslaving us >i hate the British >sit on the beach chairs at the turtle place waiting for the boat to come pick us up >of course there's some Brit's sitting next to us >l'm tortured by listening to their disgusting accents >there's no way they're real, they actually say s--- like 'innitť >they're generic late 40's British people that seem ripped out of a cliche movie >boat comes >of f------ course they're on the same boat as us >i hate the British >after we're done swimming with the first they strike up a conversation with me and my father >actually quite nice >after me and my dad go their hotels bar with them >had an actual good time >don't hate the British

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Anon wants to be left alone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg 411 KB JPG >be me >be white >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:26:29 No.876184042 Lawn-Mower-201709-004.jpg 411 KB JPG >be me >be white >have job in landscaping for multiple HOAS >work with a lot of latinos who speak little to no English >white lady comes up to me "OH thank God, someone who speaks English" >start speaking back to her in Dutch

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)17:25:24 No.66312748 >walk into the gym with my giant head phones on >Clubbed to death blasting through the speaker >Front desk chick: h-hello... H-have a nice workout... 85 KB JPG >Nod mysteriously (you too) >About face >Walk through the halls of treadmills >People's gaping and mystified expressions thrown back in their faces through the reflection of my sun glasses >Make my way to the corner smith machine >Gaze upon my kingdom This is why I lift : Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:06:42 No.66313216 K
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)17:25:24 No.66312748 >walk into the gym with my giant head phones on >Clubbed to death blasting through the speaker >Front desk chick: h-hello... H-have a nice workout... 85 KB JPG >Nod mysteriously (you too) >About face >Walk through the halls of treadmills >People's gaping and mystified expressions thrown back in their faces through the reflection of my sun glasses >Make my way to the corner smith machine >Gaze upon my kingdom This is why I lift : Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:06:42 No.66313216 K

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:20:51 No.876162864 >Be me >live in Mexico at the time >see a white guy and his asian friend in the middle of town looking really confused at their phone 33 KB JPG >decided to troll them >walk up to them and say Do you have your papers? >look at me confused and say We have passports what papers? >give them a confused look and say i work for the centro i just need to check proof of visa >give me their papers >look at the peice of paper and pretend to look scared shitless >flip the paper quickly while muttering things in Spanish >whisper under my breath No no la cartel >they look really nervous >look up from the papers and say A-are you living in an air bnb? >quickly spout Yes is that a problem? >give them back their papers and say Im so sorry >run away like hell >hear them in the distance say WAIT PLEASE HELP US >trolling successful >stay out of my county amerifags
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:20:51 No.876162864 >Be me >live in Mexico at the time >see a white guy and his asian friend in the middle of town looking really confused at their phone 33 KB JPG >decided to troll them >walk up to them and say Do you have your papers? >look at me confused and say We have passports what papers? >give them a confused look and say i work for the centro i just need to check proof of visa >give me their papers >look at the peice of paper and pretend to look scared shitless >flip the paper quickly while muttering things in Spanish >whisper under my breath No no la cartel >they look really nervous >look up from the papers and say A-are you living in an air bnb? >quickly spout Yes is that a problem? >give them back their papers and say Im so sorry >run away like hell >hear them in the distance say WAIT PLEASE HELP US >trolling successful >stay out of my county amerifags

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Anon makes a good point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)13:48:22 No.777399245 Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it
: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)13:48:22 No.777399245 Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it

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Joa Rogan saves a good boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup

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suspicious circumstances | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?

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Anon wants a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)14:15:51 No.68142381 >be me, 22 >talk to 19yo girl >we hit it off >eventually sex comes up as a topic of conversation >ask her body count 1.37 MB JPG >says 5 >immediately lose all interest I guess i'll just die alone
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)14:15:51 No.68142381 >be me, 22 >talk to 19yo girl >we hit it off >eventually sex comes up as a topic of conversation >ask her body count 1.37 MB JPG >says 5 >immediately lose all interest I guess i'll just die alone

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Anon is definitely gonna get murder | /r/Greentext


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Anon was saved | /r/Greentext


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anon isn't a degenerate | /r/Greentext

File: Katie Pladl.jpg (153 KB, 630x630) O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)14:36:39 No.876137528 [Reply] >>876145919 >>876145996 >Your 18 year old daughter says she wants to have sex with you How do you react? + 66 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:36:02 No.876145919 >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:37:01 No.876145940 ► * O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:38:44 No.876145996 File: 1590885680018.jpg (105 KB, 1080x919) >>876137528 (OP). I would be concerned about how I raised her and would try to see if there is a bigger underlying problem spurring it on. Also, you people are disgusting. Do you really think you could f--- your own daughter, especially if you actually love your wife?
File: Katie Pladl.jpg (153 KB, 630x630) O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)14:36:39 No.876137528 [Reply] >>876145919 >>876145996 >Your 18 year old daughter says she wants to have sex with you How do you react? + 66 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:36:02 No.876145919 >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:37:01 No.876145940 ► * O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:38:44 No.876145996 File: 1590885680018.jpg (105 KB, 1080x919) >>876137528 (OP). I would be concerned about how I raised her and would try to see if there is a bigger underlying problem spurring it on. Also, you people are disgusting. Do you really think you could f--- your own daughter, especially if you actually love your wife?

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Me when the when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

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