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Wholesome Xmas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)19:31:26 No.435670409 > be me > 17 when rock band came out > read about rock band online every day > watch rock band videos every day > too old for xmas but really want rock band 39 KB JPG > brother has a ps3 but it's in his room > no other consoles in the house > he agrees to let me use his ps3 in his room if I were to get it for xmas > fast forward xmas eve > beg mom to let me open one gift early > it's rock band > for 360 > I'm so depressed because it means I won't be playing rock band on xmas after all > "I got it for the wrong system? Aww. I'm sorry anon. Here. You can open one more." it's my very own 360 was best xmas ever >>435670583 >>435673117 # >>435673494 # >>435677913 # >>435681208 =
: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)19:31:26 No.435670409 > be me > 17 when rock band came out > read about rock band online every day > watch rock band videos every day > too old for xmas but really want rock band 39 KB JPG > brother has a ps3 but it's in his room > no other consoles in the house > he agrees to let me use his ps3 in his room if I were to get it for xmas > fast forward xmas eve > beg mom to let me open one gift early > it's rock band > for 360 > I'm so depressed because it means I won't be playing rock band on xmas after all > "I got it for the wrong system? Aww. I'm sorry anon. Here. You can open one more." it's my very own 360 was best xmas ever >>435670583 >>435673117 # >>435673494 # >>435677913 # >>435681208 =

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Anon is Confused | /r/Greentext

04/13/22(Wed)15:36:32 No.26222714 Anonymous Red flag? >met this girl >we like each other a lot >we both went on a date last night and hit it off >we were just talking about sex positions we liked/kinks/fantasies 215 KB JPG >she told me she doesn't want to tell me one fantasy yet because its too crazy >i say im interested and like crazy >she says she doesnt want to scare me off >w-- >pic related What do all might wise anons? Is this a red flag? Feeling like this is a red flag. I mean what could it be, r--- fantasy? Gangbang by 10 bbcs? Its killing me Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)15:37:40 No.26222720 She probably likes handholding, the sick bitch.
04/13/22(Wed)15:36:32 No.26222714 Anonymous Red flag? >met this girl >we like each other a lot >we both went on a date last night and hit it off >we were just talking about sex positions we liked/kinks/fantasies 215 KB JPG >she told me she doesn't want to tell me one fantasy yet because its too crazy >i say im interested and like crazy >she says she doesnt want to scare me off >w-- >pic related What do all might wise anons? Is this a red flag? Feeling like this is a red flag. I mean what could it be, r--- fantasy? Gangbang by 10 bbcs? Its killing me Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)15:37:40 No.26222720 She probably likes handholding, the sick bitch.

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Anon takes xanax. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)02:13:57 No.68210526 >be me, 18 and got my first xanax from a dealer >took the entire thing because I thought that's what I was supposed to do (protip: DONT. An entire pill is actually a very heavy dose) >blacked out and woke up the next day extremely confused 77 KB JPG >apparently I screamed a lot Xanax.
Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)02:13:57 No.68210526 >be me, 18 and got my first xanax from a dealer >took the entire thing because I thought that's what I was supposed to do (protip: DONT. An entire pill is actually a very heavy dose) >blacked out and woke up the next day extremely confused 77 KB JPG >apparently I screamed a lot Xanax.

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:09:13 No.876244879 Just had a weird f------ moment. Any similar stories /b/? >be me >4pm >take a nap 6 KB JPG >have a long ass dream for what feels like an entire day without realizing it's a dream >wake up genuinely thinking it's the next morning >check time >6pm, same day >go to the s------, have an epiphany about this as the dream quickly fades from memory and I recall it was indistinguishable from everyday life, no fantasies whatsoever >mfw I slept for 2 hours. An entire day in two hours sleep of a false world that my mind made up completely. Hell, what if we're all in a dream right now? If I'm an NPC to you, you're all NPCS to me, or we're all NPCS to something else. Makes you wonder. 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)20:09:13 No.876244879 Just had a weird f------ moment. Any similar stories /b/? >be me >4pm >take a nap 6 KB JPG >have a long ass dream for what feels like an entire day without realizing it's a dream >wake up genuinely thinking it's the next morning >check time >6pm, same day >go to the s------, have an epiphany about this as the dream quickly fades from memory and I recall it was indistinguishable from everyday life, no fantasies whatsoever >mfw I slept for 2 hours. An entire day in two hours sleep of a false world that my mind made up completely. Hell, what if we're all in a dream right now? If I'm an NPC to you, you're all NPCS to me, or we're all NPCS to something else. Makes you wonder. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is the toilet paper king | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)01:27:11 No.68205613 E >stocked up on toilet paper in 2020 for the stonks >managed to get hundreds of thousands >some of it destroyed by rodents >most of it was destroyed in a fire (faulty plug near the it) 74 KB JPG >also half of my house burned in that incident What should I do with the rest?
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)01:27:11 No.68205613 E >stocked up on toilet paper in 2020 for the stonks >managed to get hundreds of thousands >some of it destroyed by rodents >most of it was destroyed in a fire (faulty plug near the it) 74 KB JPG >also half of my house burned in that incident What should I do with the rest?

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Anon goes to Kroger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)22:58:35 No.797045055 >be me >at Kroger >go to snack section >decide I want chips >flip chip bags over and listen to how many crumbs I can hear >find one that sounds good >get home 67 KB JPG >open chips >1/4 of the bag is F------ CRUMBS Why can't I do anything right?
: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)22:58:35 No.797045055 >be me >at Kroger >go to snack section >decide I want chips >flip chip bags over and listen to how many crumbs I can hear >find one that sounds good >get home 67 KB JPG >open chips >1/4 of the bag is F------ CRUMBS Why can't I do anything right?

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Anon have a torrent | /r/Greentext

File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"
File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"

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Anon proves endermen are autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/13/18(Thu)13:28:16 No.787288109 >don't like eye contact >pick up random things they find >make random noises Are endermen autistic? 86 KB JPG

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Anon is Brain-AFK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.
: Anonymous 03/08/21 (Mon)19:01:23 No.62658503 >finish c-------- >drop it in can >mfw it's the soda I just walked into the kitchen to get 33 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)20:36:36 No.62659783 Smoking inside is gross and you deserve this.

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Anon thinks about the future | /r/Greentext

>Saves $800,000 in his 401(k) >Dies at 58 236 KB PNG
>Saves $800,000 in his 401(k) >Dies at 58 236 KB PNG

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Anon wears a mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG

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Anon is a proud Detroit resident | /r/Greentext

File: v2cjdmt3vqq21.jpg (32 KB, 612x637) O Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)13:36:20 No.875984870 Getting mugged? Just say no. > Live in Detroit, not even one of the bad parts. > Someone tries to mug me at least yearly, total of 8 times throughout my life. > Just tell them, "No.", and keep walking. > Works every time. They want your wallet, not a murder charge. They don't expect you to put up any resistance, let alone apathy. Your robber legally cannot take any of you possessions without your consent. u.S. Penal Code section 213(a)(1)(A
File: v2cjdmt3vqq21.jpg (32 KB, 612x637) O Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)13:36:20 No.875984870 Getting mugged? Just say no. > Live in Detroit, not even one of the bad parts. > Someone tries to mug me at least yearly, total of 8 times throughout my life. > Just tell them, "No.", and keep walking. > Works every time. They want your wallet, not a murder charge. They don't expect you to put up any resistance, let alone apathy. Your robber legally cannot take any of you possessions without your consent. u.S. Penal Code section 213(a)(1)(A

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Anon ended in China | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)18:22:35 No.876216688 > be me > German living in Berlin > 10 pm walking down the street in Berlin > sees my crush from college > she is from München > say Hi to her > she replies but start telephoning 53 KB JPG > she is going to the train station > sperg kicks in and I decided to go with her even though she is telephoning > mfw she is pretending it > mfw I cant turn back cuz it would be awkward > we are at the train station > she still pretends that she is telephoning > I am still waiting > On the schedule there are only 2 last trains today > first one is Cargo train and second is to München > autism again > "Ok so now I must take the seat in the cargo one cuz I cant go away and I cant go with her to München" > Cargo train is here > I take a seat in an empty wagon and noone noticed only my Crush gave me confused look > mfw I dont know where the f--- am I > mfw I am already 6 hours in the cargo train going to the east I dont know where the f--- am I but I am pretty sure that I am not in the Europe anymore Sorry for bad english I am hungry, exhausted and thirsty in the train somewhere in the China.
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)18:22:35 No.876216688 > be me > German living in Berlin > 10 pm walking down the street in Berlin > sees my crush from college > she is from München > say Hi to her > she replies but start telephoning 53 KB JPG > she is going to the train station > sperg kicks in and I decided to go with her even though she is telephoning > mfw she is pretending it > mfw I cant turn back cuz it would be awkward > we are at the train station > she still pretends that she is telephoning > I am still waiting > On the schedule there are only 2 last trains today > first one is Cargo train and second is to München > autism again > "Ok so now I must take the seat in the cargo one cuz I cant go away and I cant go with her to München" > Cargo train is here > I take a seat in an empty wagon and noone noticed only my Crush gave me confused look > mfw I dont know where the f--- am I > mfw I am already 6 hours in the cargo train going to the east I dont know where the f--- am I but I am pretty sure that I am not in the Europe anymore Sorry for bad english I am hungry, exhausted and thirsty in the train somewhere in the China.

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Anon got bamboozled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Anon discovers wild animal suffering | /r/Greentext

Board /sci/ - Science & Math Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)04:51:58 No.14390693 EXPERIMENT Question: Did sexual selection affect the evolution of long tails in African long-tailed widowbirds? METHOD Artificially lengthen or shorten tails on birds by cutting feathers or gluing on feathers. RESULTS Artificially lengthened Artificially shortened Normal Conclusion: Sexual selection in widowbirds favors long tails. © 2001 Sinauer Associates, Inc. 51BB2CC4-9E4F-4984-B50C-5ADDC93BF43B.jpg 110 KB JPG If birds knew this would they hate women? : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:44:54 No.14390899 >>14390693 (OP) # imagine being the bird with artificially shortened tail >aliens abduct you >turn you from 6ft to 5ft >he's an incel now,write that down >ayy Imao 19 KB JPG >>14390930 # >>14392193 # >>14392372 # Average number of nests per male 2.
Board /sci/ - Science & Math Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)04:51:58 No.14390693 EXPERIMENT Question: Did sexual selection affect the evolution of long tails in African long-tailed widowbirds? METHOD Artificially lengthen or shorten tails on birds by cutting feathers or gluing on feathers. RESULTS Artificially lengthened Artificially shortened Normal Conclusion: Sexual selection in widowbirds favors long tails. © 2001 Sinauer Associates, Inc. 51BB2CC4-9E4F-4984-B50C-5ADDC93BF43B.jpg 110 KB JPG If birds knew this would they hate women? : Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)06:44:54 No.14390899 >>14390693 (OP) # imagine being the bird with artificially shortened tail >aliens abduct you >turn you from 6ft to 5ft >he's an incel now,write that down >ayy Imao 19 KB JPG >>14390930 # >>14392193 # >>14392372 # Average number of nests per male 2.

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Anon has a baby face | /r/Greentext

04/13/22(Wed)19:43:27 No.876220039 : Anonymous DIPLOMA EMPLOY AFU APUSTAJA EE KICATIONAL MONTH Of THE UNIVERSITY BREAKING NEWS PEPE INC. EXECUTIVE INDICTED JUNE BEPT. 1204721512.png 189 KB PNG >first day at new job >small office, less than 10 of us >HR lady encourages everyone to stop working for a second and lets me introduce myself to my new coworkers >"oh uh hey my name is anon, im 37 and i--" >"37?!!11!?" >am pretty short, have baby face, and never could grow a beard (thx genes) >all my coworkers shocked at how young i look for my age >reply "haha yea sometimes i think id be better off trying to date little kids than women my age!" anyway that was the last time my coworkers ever interacted with me, anyone else's autism get in the way of their day to day lives?
04/13/22(Wed)19:43:27 No.876220039 : Anonymous DIPLOMA EMPLOY AFU APUSTAJA EE KICATIONAL MONTH Of THE UNIVERSITY BREAKING NEWS PEPE INC. EXECUTIVE INDICTED JUNE BEPT. 1204721512.png 189 KB PNG >first day at new job >small office, less than 10 of us >HR lady encourages everyone to stop working for a second and lets me introduce myself to my new coworkers >"oh uh hey my name is anon, im 37 and i--" >"37?!!11!?" >am pretty short, have baby face, and never could grow a beard (thx genes) >all my coworkers shocked at how young i look for my age >reply "haha yea sometimes i think id be better off trying to date little kids than women my age!" anyway that was the last time my coworkers ever interacted with me, anyone else's autism get in the way of their day to day lives?

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Me when the when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her l'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror
: Anonymous 03/14/22(Mon)14:20:42 No.65904504 >getting mired at the gym more >notice girls looking at me almost every time I go >a couple have talked to me first >this is after years of almost no attention, even ridicule 38 KB JPG >l've had to put so much work in to get here >at this point it feels like if they f--- me they win >girl approached me today at the squat rack >asks me about lifting and how long I've been going >she gets really close, almost in my face >she's trying to act cute >I finally say to her l'm not into trans girls >she briskly replys she isn't trans and thanks me for the advice >she walks off hiding her pain Did I "make it"? The rest of my workout felt amazing, I even thought I looked better in the mirror

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Anon describe batman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)18:36:44 No.872808625 >rejects usual scientologist billionaire bs >refuses to give money to the poor >lives in a cave >dresses up with an armored furry suit >drives a tank at 200mph on residential areas 210 KB JPG >beats up people with mental illness f------ gigachad

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a high quality post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)00:41:42 No.595512143 >go to Night City >the sun comes up What the f--- 832 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)00:41:42 No.595512143 >go to Night City >the sun comes up What the f--- 832 KB JPG

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Unholy trinity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)19:12:13 No.66040521 >be me >share the same name with other two coworkers >tell them we should start speaking in third person whenever anyone is getting annoying >they a bit skeptic it might work 1.34 MB PNG but on board with >just a couple of weeks and we already made workplace hell for normie >expose socialfags to public ridicule every time they try to act smart >they literally can't do s--- about it because the three Anons work better than any of them
: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)19:12:13 No.66040521 >be me >share the same name with other two coworkers >tell them we should start speaking in third person whenever anyone is getting annoying >they a bit skeptic it might work 1.34 MB PNG but on board with >just a couple of weeks and we already made workplace hell for normie >expose socialfags to public ridicule every time they try to act smart >they literally can't do s--- about it because the three Anons work better than any of them

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