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Anon works at the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon discovers women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)04:24:41 No.68240156 Just found out women are real. Bros how can i cope 19 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)04:24:41 No.68240156 Just found out women are real. Bros how can i cope 19 KB JPG

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Anon hates false advertising | /r/Greentext

File: 1648687347683.jpg (5 KB, 250x187) Anonymous 03/31/22(Thu)03:43:05 No.86284406 >>86284428 >>86284589 >>86284605 >>86284634 >>86284639 >>86284956 >>86287913 >>86287940 >>86288066 >>86289339 >>86289875 >buy wireless device >look inside >wires
File: 1648687347683.jpg (5 KB, 250x187) Anonymous 03/31/22(Thu)03:43:05 No.86284406 >>86284428 >>86284589 >>86284605 >>86284634 >>86284639 >>86284956 >>86287913 >>86287940 >>86288066 >>86289339 >>86289875 >buy wireless device >look inside >wires

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Reddit lied to Anon | /r/Greentext

File: fe7.jpg (42 KB, 640x590) Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:20:24 No.876332943 > be me > redditor > browse r/greentext frequently > go to /b/ > realize this place isn't full of funny wholesome greentexts > what the f--- is wrong with you people
File: fe7.jpg (42 KB, 640x590) Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:20:24 No.876332943 > be me > redditor > browse r/greentext frequently > go to /b/ > realize this place isn't full of funny wholesome greentexts > what the f--- is wrong with you people

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Anon makes fun of Americans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I I 04/15/22(Fri)07:45:19 No.163052594 >Americans leave a TIP (of their benis) the very moment they're born You couldn't make this s--- up if you tried, it's like some kind of cosmic poetry dn 193 KB PNG : Anonymous A 04/15/22(Fri)07:51:17 No.163052759 >>163052594 (OP) # Not funny. >>163052823 #
: Anonymous I I 04/15/22(Fri)07:45:19 No.163052594 >Americans leave a TIP (of their benis) the very moment they're born You couldn't make this s--- up if you tried, it's like some kind of cosmic poetry dn 193 KB PNG : Anonymous A 04/15/22(Fri)07:51:17 No.163052759 >>163052594 (OP) # Not funny. >>163052823 #

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Anon's in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)06:13:44 No.66100333 >be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl" >for some reason, I'm the one who gets in trouble

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Reddit when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:08:49 No.876330037 >be American leftist >commonly compare opposing political parties and their leaders to pic related >also be leftists 9 KB JPG >see an entire nation of Jews (Israel) >scream about how much you want to kill them dead and how evil they are because they unjustly take things from the native people >... >pic demonstrated The retardation levels are reaching peak irony
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:08:49 No.876330037 >be American leftist >commonly compare opposing political parties and their leaders to pic related >also be leftists 9 KB JPG >see an entire nation of Jews (Israel) >scream about how much you want to kill them dead and how evil they are because they unjustly take things from the native people >... >pic demonstrated The retardation levels are reaching peak irony

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Anon builds back better | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)02:34:21 No.874073031 CRYING >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe TEARS OF JOY >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me 24 KB JPG >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly this is the greatest country in the world
: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)02:34:21 No.874073031 CRYING >be me, average american >sitting on my couch watching tv >billionaire kicks in my door >l am frozen with patriotic awe TEARS OF JOY >slaps my bud light out of my hand >f---- my wife on the couch next to me 24 KB JPG >wipes his d--- on the curtains >l manage to squeak out "thank you for your service" >he towers over me like a titan of industry >pisses on my face while screaming "TRICKLE DOWN" >I clap and tip him 20% >he twists my n------ while asking if l'm “a union man" >tell him proudly that I'm a rugged individualist like him >he seems pleased >breaks a window to create more jobs and flies away truly this is the greatest country in the world

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Anon is embarrassed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)03:17:06 No.68239606 >embarrassing memory surfaces >start saying random s--- out loud to drown it out Anyone else? 558 KB PNG
Anonymous 04/16/22(Sat)03:17:06 No.68239606 >embarrassing memory surfaces >start saying random s--- out loud to drown it out Anyone else? 558 KB PNG

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Anon obviously didn't kill 9000 ukrainians | /r/Greentext


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Panty raid | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a hard time saving | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:32:48 No.68229431 >be me >smooth talker in high school >usually can get a girl into a bedroom at parties >can't ever get hard >must have erectile dysfunction >get nicknamed "floppy d----" >nickname gets passed around 27 KB JPG high school >people call me "flop" for short, even teachers who don't know the origin >nickname stays with me through college >years later, still have anxiety over my lack of boners >get office job >use Word and Excel all day >always have to hit the save icon when I'm done with a document >think about my floppy disk every time I hit save How do I get over erectile dysfunction? Boner pills don't do s--- for me.
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)11:32:48 No.68229431 >be me >smooth talker in high school >usually can get a girl into a bedroom at parties >can't ever get hard >must have erectile dysfunction >get nicknamed "floppy d----" >nickname gets passed around 27 KB JPG high school >people call me "flop" for short, even teachers who don't know the origin >nickname stays with me through college >years later, still have anxiety over my lack of boners >get office job >use Word and Excel all day >always have to hit the save icon when I'm done with a document >think about my floppy disk every time I hit save How do I get over erectile dysfunction? Boner pills don't do s--- for me.

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Anon talks about the Huns | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)19:51:49 No.876358658 >be the Huns >suddenly show up in Europe in the 4th Century >kill and enslave absolutely everything in sight >kick the s--- out of the Eastern 149 KB JPG Roman Empire and basically destroy the Western half >some Romans thought you were f------ devils that arrived straight from Hell >your leader Attila was straight up called "The Scourge of God" >seemingly vanish off the face of the Earth after 100 years of nonstop killing >leave behind virtually no written records or archaeological traces of your existence fast forward to the 21st Century >hardly anything is known about your language, religion, or culture, and historians don't even know for sure where the hell you even came from
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)19:51:49 No.876358658 >be the Huns >suddenly show up in Europe in the 4th Century >kill and enslave absolutely everything in sight >kick the s--- out of the Eastern 149 KB JPG Roman Empire and basically destroy the Western half >some Romans thought you were f------ devils that arrived straight from Hell >your leader Attila was straight up called "The Scourge of God" >seemingly vanish off the face of the Earth after 100 years of nonstop killing >leave behind virtually no written records or archaeological traces of your existence fast forward to the 21st Century >hardly anything is known about your language, religion, or culture, and historians don't even know for sure where the hell you even came from

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The reich stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)09:57:27 No.63196651 >6'8 German guy works out at my LA >Looks like techno viking >Hit max effort leg day this morning >Comes up to me and says "JA LOOKING BIG TODAY MY FRIEND" and gives me a thumbs up l'll f------ take it.
: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)09:57:27 No.63196651 >6'8 German guy works out at my LA >Looks like techno viking >Hit max effort leg day this morning >Comes up to me and says "JA LOOKING BIG TODAY MY FRIEND" and gives me a thumbs up l'll f------ take it.

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Anon is done | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)17:02:41 No.876329778 > be me > got anonymous valetine's card two years ago > "I crush you so much anon but I am really shy, I hope we will be together one day" > still trying to find out who sent it 185 KB PNG > today I borrowed a notebook from a 10/10 3.14qt > she was always nice to me > mfw it is her handwriting > mfw I noticed few signals years ago but thought she is just friendly > mfw she looks like a f------ model > mfw she is in a relationship with a Chad already and I am still 18 yo virgin Kill me please. I am done. I saw their pics on IG. They are so happy and cute. Arghh I am so f------ done
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)17:02:41 No.876329778 > be me > got anonymous valetine's card two years ago > "I crush you so much anon but I am really shy, I hope we will be together one day" > still trying to find out who sent it 185 KB PNG > today I borrowed a notebook from a 10/10 3.14qt > she was always nice to me > mfw it is her handwriting > mfw I noticed few signals years ago but thought she is just friendly > mfw she looks like a f------ model > mfw she is in a relationship with a Chad already and I am still 18 yo virgin Kill me please. I am done. I saw their pics on IG. They are so happy and cute. Arghh I am so f------ done

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Anon can't think for himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)22:26:12 No.68232506 >early 20s >hate going straight to work and straight home, go to weird restaurants, axe throwing spots, arcade-style places etc >"grow the f--- up dude just doing errands and work is called being an adult" TOUY 69 KB PNG >28 now >zero hobbies, just go to the jobsite and go home >"that's ALL you do bro? Stop being a hermit shutin boring loser. Get a hobby!" So which f------ one is it? 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)22:26:12 No.68232506 >early 20s >hate going straight to work and straight home, go to weird restaurants, axe throwing spots, arcade-style places etc >"grow the f--- up dude just doing errands and work is called being an adult" TOUY 69 KB PNG >28 now >zero hobbies, just go to the jobsite and go home >"that's ALL you do bro? Stop being a hermit shutin boring loser. Get a hobby!" So which f------ one is it? 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon wants sex robot | /r/Greentext

AI sex robots will turn down steamy encounters 'if they're not in the mood' or are being treated with disrespect, claims inventor By Phoebe Weston For Mailonline 11:20 BST 18 Jun 2018, updated 12:17 BST 18 Jun 2018 anti_rape_sex_robots.png 161 KB PNG 195 Replies / 50 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/20/18(Wed)15:12:41 No.421221503 >Make sex robots >Make them like normal woman If I wanted to suffer I would go with a human you f------ mongoloids.
AI sex robots will turn down steamy encounters 'if they're not in the mood' or are being treated with disrespect, claims inventor By Phoebe Weston For Mailonline 11:20 BST 18 Jun 2018, updated 12:17 BST 18 Jun 2018 anti_rape_sex_robots.png 161 KB PNG 195 Replies / 50 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/20/18(Wed)15:12:41 No.421221503 >Make sex robots >Make them like normal woman If I wanted to suffer I would go with a human you f------ mongoloids.

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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.565352 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.565352 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw

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Anon guesses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses 71 KB JPG

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Anon enjoys onanism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)23:11:30 No.68232364 >go on date >get rejected >go home >rub one out thank God we can DIY this s---. 51 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/15/22(Fri)23:11:30 No.68232364 >go on date >get rejected >go home >rub one out thank God we can DIY this s---. 51 KB JPG

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