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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hic >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and thať's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hic >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and thať's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

1 40867114 28/03/2017 6:05 PM >go to gold's >doing my warmup routine of curls and butterflys >entrance swings open >a literal f------ clown walks in >like not even some juggalo or joker cosplayer, 142 KB an actual clown that you'd see at a carnival >he checks in and goes to the freeweight section >picks up two 20 pound dumbbells and starts f------ juggling them >everyone stares in awe >one of the employees asks him to please stop because he could hurt someone >agrees and drops one on his foot, starts screaming in a high pitched voice >employee asks if he's ok >he lets out a chuckle, honks his nose and takes off hos size 19 shoe to reveal he's fine >employee sighs and tries to find the manager >by the time she comes back the clown is on the squat rack doing 3pl8 ATF reps >he notices her and the manager out of the corner of his eye and smiles >his pants conveniently rip and he s---- out three hackey sacks and a circus peanut i f------ hate these gym clowns i wish they would just go away
1 40867114 28/03/2017 6:05 PM >go to gold's >doing my warmup routine of curls and butterflys >entrance swings open >a literal f------ clown walks in >like not even some juggalo or joker cosplayer, 142 KB an actual clown that you'd see at a carnival >he checks in and goes to the freeweight section >picks up two 20 pound dumbbells and starts f------ juggling them >everyone stares in awe >one of the employees asks him to please stop because he could hurt someone >agrees and drops one on his foot, starts screaming in a high pitched voice >employee asks if he's ok >he lets out a chuckle, honks his nose and takes off hos size 19 shoe to reveal he's fine >employee sighs and tries to find the manager >by the time she comes back the clown is on the squat rack doing 3pl8 ATF reps >he notices her and the manager out of the corner of his eye and smiles >his pants conveniently rip and he s---- out three hackey sacks and a circus peanut i f------ hate these gym clowns i wish they would just go away

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Anon loves Golden Retrievers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WE8rKUcH 04/17/22(Sun)20:12:29 No.373289519 Golden Retriever's are the master race of dogs. >Intelligent >Isn't needlessly violent like a n----- >Understands the utility of social 28 KB JPG bonds >Knows the value of loyalty >Efficient at working as a team but also by themselves. Golden's are the white people of dogs. 114 Replies / 30 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: WE8rKUcH 04/17/22(Sun)20:12:29 No.373289519 Golden Retriever's are the master race of dogs. >Intelligent >Isn't needlessly violent like a n----- >Understands the utility of social 28 KB JPG bonds >Knows the value of loyalty >Efficient at working as a team but also by themselves. Golden's are the white people of dogs. 114 Replies / 30 Images View Thread

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Anons aunt doesnt like him very much | /r/Greentext

What's something very dumb that started a fight I your family? I'll start. >Easter 1.67 MB JPG >Go to dad's for evening and have a good time >Aunt shows up >She's moving back to town and brought my brother some preserved foods for his birthday later that week >Mine was a week prior and didn't get s---, but whatever >She leaves and dad checks out the stuff >Asked me ifI want some of the pickles >Say sure, assumed he heared they were there for brother but didn't care >Next day aunt text me saying to bring them back(over hour drive back there) >Calls me a thief and is "disappointed" in me >Explain I assumed it was cool cause I was given them > Dad talks to her And she seems chill >Text me more s--- an hour later and the blocks me on Facebook Mfw Pickles caused a rift in my family Pic is said pickles
What's something very dumb that started a fight I your family? I'll start. >Easter 1.67 MB JPG >Go to dad's for evening and have a good time >Aunt shows up >She's moving back to town and brought my brother some preserved foods for his birthday later that week >Mine was a week prior and didn't get s---, but whatever >She leaves and dad checks out the stuff >Asked me ifI want some of the pickles >Say sure, assumed he heared they were there for brother but didn't care >Next day aunt text me saying to bring them back(over hour drive back there) >Calls me a thief and is "disappointed" in me >Explain I assumed it was cool cause I was given them > Dad talks to her And she seems chill >Text me more s--- an hour later and the blocks me on Facebook Mfw Pickles caused a rift in my family Pic is said pickles

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anon got banned. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:20:18 No.876528139 Society can't handle those who dare to question the basic fallacies of our synergies. I'm banned at every major subreddit, 4chan board, and guess what? I'm also banned at malls now. 40 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:20:18 No.876528139 Society can't handle those who dare to question the basic fallacies of our synergies. I'm banned at every major subreddit, 4chan board, and guess what? I'm also banned at malls now. 40 KB GIF

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Anon eats healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:46:36 No.17713372 20220417_081409.jpg 1.25 MB JPG >put rice in rice cooker >put chicken in air fryer Why do people pretend cooking and eating healthy is hard? : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:49:15 No.17713377 >>17713372 (OP) # making that cumshake must've taken a while though >>17713380 #
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:46:36 No.17713372 20220417_081409.jpg 1.25 MB JPG >put rice in rice cooker >put chicken in air fryer Why do people pretend cooking and eating healthy is hard? : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:49:15 No.17713377 >>17713372 (OP) # making that cumshake must've taken a while though >>17713380 #

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Baby senses that Anon uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:44:27 No.876529310 >watch my sister's baby >baby just cries non stop >hold baby, it cries >sit baby down, it cries >kid is almost a year old now and every time it sees me it cries and freaks out 1.21 MB GIF >just ignore it until it cries itself to sleep >doesn't cry when I feed her but cries as soon as l'm finishes burping her >literally cries as soon as it wakes up and sees me >does this until my sister comes to pick her up >"that's so weird. She never does that. It's probably because you have a beard haha" Guys what the f--- is wrong with babies?
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:44:27 No.876529310 >watch my sister's baby >baby just cries non stop >hold baby, it cries >sit baby down, it cries >kid is almost a year old now and every time it sees me it cries and freaks out 1.21 MB GIF >just ignore it until it cries itself to sleep >doesn't cry when I feed her but cries as soon as l'm finishes burping her >literally cries as soon as it wakes up and sees me >does this until my sister comes to pick her up >"that's so weird. She never does that. It's probably because you have a beard haha" Guys what the f--- is wrong with babies?

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Hola, mi nombre es Anon | /r/Greentext

>mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking
>mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking

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anon goes fishing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)07:16:28 No.801059659 >fishin in lake >catchin frends >releasin frends >big frends >little frends So many fish frends to see in the lake 6 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)07:16:28 No.801059659 >fishin in lake >catchin frends >releasin frends >big frends >little frends So many fish frends to see in the lake 6 KB PNG

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Give him advice! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:02:16 No.876527200 [SERIOUS ] My (28M) wife (34F) recently started to increase her alcohol consumption and now it happens more frequently that she uses violence against me when we have a disagreement. She goes to the gym, weighs more, and has more muscle than 201 KB PNG me so there's no way I could confront her physically. I can't talk to people about it because I'm embarrassed. The worst part is last time just an hour after a fight when I wanted to sleep, she wanted to have sex like nothing happened. I said that I was not in the mood but she forced herself upon me. I felt violated and r----. I just don't know what to do. She'll be back from work in 2 hours.
: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:02:16 No.876527200 [SERIOUS ] My (28M) wife (34F) recently started to increase her alcohol consumption and now it happens more frequently that she uses violence against me when we have a disagreement. She goes to the gym, weighs more, and has more muscle than 201 KB PNG me so there's no way I could confront her physically. I can't talk to people about it because I'm embarrassed. The worst part is last time just an hour after a fight when I wanted to sleep, she wanted to have sex like nothing happened. I said that I was not in the mood but she forced herself upon me. I felt violated and r----. I just don't know what to do. She'll be back from work in 2 hours.

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Anon games the system. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)05:38:32 No.68280355 >go on plane flight >buy drink onboard, overpriced as usual >plane lands, I get off >get notification saying the transaction got rejected due to insufficient balance on my debit card Sweet. I'm flying again in about an 25 KB PNG hour, I'm going to try this again.
Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)05:38:32 No.68280355 >go on plane flight >buy drink onboard, overpriced as usual >plane lands, I get off >get notification saying the transaction got rejected due to insufficient balance on my debit card Sweet. I'm flying again in about an 25 KB PNG hour, I'm going to try this again.

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618 >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists
: Anonymous 10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618 >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists

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Anon is a dishonored fan | /r/Greentext


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Anon knows what's up. | /r/Greentext


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Anon makes himself a financial liability | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)04:28:56 No.68276468 CH PROBLEMS: >parents want me to get a job >get a job >job is alright for a while >job increasingly sucks >quit job >tax time rolls around 202 KB PNG >mom complains that she can't claim me as a dependent because I made too much money last year Anyone else been reduced to a financial liability lately?
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)04:28:56 No.68276468 CH PROBLEMS: >parents want me to get a job >get a job >job is alright for a while >job increasingly sucks >quit job >tax time rolls around 202 KB PNG >mom complains that she can't claim me as a dependent because I made too much money last year Anyone else been reduced to a financial liability lately?

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Anon has long hair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)04:26:54 No.876539631 >be me, tall guy with long hair >in mall yesterday with girl >it's our third date and she's pretty hot >she wants to try on bikinis and see what I think >f--- yeah 29 KB JPG >go into shop and start walking to the changing room area after she grabs a few sets >employee lady stops me and says it's women only >roll my eyes >girl says I identify as a woman sarcastically >employee doesn't pick up on the joke and starts groveling in apologies >tell her it's NOT okay and we proceed to changing room >employee feels bad and gives girl discount on our way out while almost in tears
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)04:26:54 No.876539631 >be me, tall guy with long hair >in mall yesterday with girl >it's our third date and she's pretty hot >she wants to try on bikinis and see what I think >f--- yeah 29 KB JPG >go into shop and start walking to the changing room area after she grabs a few sets >employee lady stops me and says it's women only >roll my eyes >girl says I identify as a woman sarcastically >employee doesn't pick up on the joke and starts groveling in apologies >tell her it's NOT okay and we proceed to changing room >employee feels bad and gives girl discount on our way out while almost in tears

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Anon watches 13 reasons why | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol
Anonymous | 769156213 2 hr ago >Depressed teen >Tell parents >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the Why noald deal gied lie! ANETFLIX OINAL SERIES second season B REASONS WHY >F----- lul >l try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per 6.7 kB JPG >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 769156270 2 hr ago >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol

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anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 0 minutes ago 876540167 >Be me 26 year old Schizo >6'1 Attractive well groomed. >Work at lawncare service. >just got off work and went to my favorite kava bar. >No one bothers me and I can f--- around on my laptop while I drink tea. >Female Bartender who always serves me is attempting to make small talk. >l keep giving her 1 off answers. >"Jeez anon, your always so quiet. Why don't I ever see you with any girls." >"Because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic." >"what?" >Look her in the eyes. >I hear voices that constantly talk s--- about me with my family members and coworkers voices. On a few occasions I have heard you speaking when you werent even in the shop." >she looked at me before hastily retreating to the backroom. >Leave before she can come back out. What do you think /b/ should I go back or is that place just a lost cause now?
Anonymous 0 minutes ago 876540167 >Be me 26 year old Schizo >6'1 Attractive well groomed. >Work at lawncare service. >just got off work and went to my favorite kava bar. >No one bothers me and I can f--- around on my laptop while I drink tea. >Female Bartender who always serves me is attempting to make small talk. >l keep giving her 1 off answers. >"Jeez anon, your always so quiet. Why don't I ever see you with any girls." >"Because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic." >"what?" >Look her in the eyes. >I hear voices that constantly talk s--- about me with my family members and coworkers voices. On a few occasions I have heard you speaking when you werent even in the shop." >she looked at me before hastily retreating to the backroom. >Leave before she can come back out. What do you think /b/ should I go back or is that place just a lost cause now?

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Hopeless anon wants to end it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/17(Fri)21:35:51 No.749334696 > Dead end job. > Haven't been on a date in 7 years. > The city I live in is insanely overpriced when it comes to houses, so l'll never own a house. > The girl I like at work has been distant the past few weeks. Worried she's banging a chad. > I'm older than my dad was when I was born. Decent chance my parents will never see grandkids. Should I commit sudoku? >749334992 #
: Anonymous 10/27/17(Fri)21:35:51 No.749334696 > Dead end job. > Haven't been on a date in 7 years. > The city I live in is insanely overpriced when it comes to houses, so l'll never own a house. > The girl I like at work has been distant the past few weeks. Worried she's banging a chad. > I'm older than my dad was when I was born. Decent chance my parents will never see grandkids. Should I commit sudoku? >749334992 #

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Anon got rejeced by a hooker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/20(Thu)15:56:42 No.56824702 How do you manage pain? >decided to bite the bullet and get a h----- >find most good looking cheapest w---- near where i live >call her and we start talking >»"you sound a bit nervous,are you a virgin?" >"Y-yes i'm a virgin" Exereoga enobuprofen Alct Accuncture/Massage Heroir G Pescririon pain meds mply lve h the pain Vote View results Seamore nolls 105 KB JPG >>"I'm sorry,i don't service virgins anymore.l feel super guilty afterwards." >she hangs up Nothing makes you feel more alive like being truned down by litteral prostitute,real confidence boost! 9 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/20/20(Thu)15:56:42 No.56824702 How do you manage pain? >decided to bite the bullet and get a h----- >find most good looking cheapest w---- near where i live >call her and we start talking >»"you sound a bit nervous,are you a virgin?" >"Y-yes i'm a virgin" Exereoga enobuprofen Alct Accuncture/Massage Heroir G Pescririon pain meds mply lve h the pain Vote View results Seamore nolls 105 KB JPG >>"I'm sorry,i don't service virgins anymore.l feel super guilty afterwards." >she hangs up Nothing makes you feel more alive like being truned down by litteral prostitute,real confidence boost! 9 Replies View Thread

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