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Mom is suspicious of Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)05:01:01 No.25405066 My mom thinks I'm f------ the dog. She keeps trying to say it's okay, its wrong, but she understands, but im literally not?? Like heres what happened >took a shower >walk into my room in a towel to get dressed 13 KB JPG >the dog pushed his way into my room as I opened the door >but like so what, he's a dog? Not like it matters if he sees me naked >so l'm getting dressed, but then stopped to pet him and he starts panting and wagging his tail like dogs do >l finish getting dressed and open the door to see my mom standing there, wide eyed >ask her what's up and the dog walks out as I open the door She kept acting weird all day so I asked her what's up and now she drops this bomb on me. Like, I get it, im an ugly hon, but im not that f------ desperate, mom. Like w--. How do I convince her im not a dog f-----???
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)05:01:01 No.25405066 My mom thinks I'm f------ the dog. She keeps trying to say it's okay, its wrong, but she understands, but im literally not?? Like heres what happened >took a shower >walk into my room in a towel to get dressed 13 KB JPG >the dog pushed his way into my room as I opened the door >but like so what, he's a dog? Not like it matters if he sees me naked >so l'm getting dressed, but then stopped to pet him and he starts panting and wagging his tail like dogs do >l finish getting dressed and open the door to see my mom standing there, wide eyed >ask her what's up and the dog walks out as I open the door She kept acting weird all day so I asked her what's up and now she drops this bomb on me. Like, I get it, im an ugly hon, but im not that f------ desperate, mom. Like w--. How do I convince her im not a dog f-----???

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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Anon’s onto something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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league of legends g*mer | /r/Greentext

1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined
1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined

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Anon is Serbian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)21:40:02 No.876602853 FA058BB5-A08B-48F6-8E7D-DE8F29702DBD.jpg 50 KB JPG >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >l explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)21:40:02 No.876602853 FA058BB5-A08B-48F6-8E7D-DE8F29702DBD.jpg 50 KB JPG >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >l explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay

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You thought. | /r/Greentext

>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated
>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.56535266 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.56535266 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw

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Anon likes it black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:25:25 No.17719344 >coffee with sugar Just drink a soda kid 806 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:34:12 No.17719370 >cream in coffee Might as well drink a milkshake >>17719499 # >>17721468 # : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:36:57 No.17719381 >coffee with beans Not in Texas, kiddo >>17720012 #
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:25:25 No.17719344 >coffee with sugar Just drink a soda kid 806 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:34:12 No.17719370 >cream in coffee Might as well drink a milkshake >>17719499 # >>17721468 # : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:36:57 No.17719381 >coffee with beans Not in Texas, kiddo >>17720012 #

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anons best friend is attracted to him | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you
>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you

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He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

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Anon kisses a lucky lady. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.
: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.

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Anon does a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon Wants To Join The Military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)13:15:24 No.68285180 Is the military the best robot career? They: >cook for you >house you >clothed you >provide you health/dental 51 KB JPG care >force you to stay physically fit >give you money to buy vidya The only thing you need to do is: >take orders like a robot >do your job exactly as they say with no deviations What are the downsides from a robot's perspective?
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)13:15:24 No.68285180 Is the military the best robot career? They: >cook for you >house you >clothed you >provide you health/dental 51 KB JPG care >force you to stay physically fit >give you money to buy vidya The only thing you need to do is: >take orders like a robot >do your job exactly as they say with no deviations What are the downsides from a robot's perspective?

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Anon becomes a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >'Anon, what's going on!?" >I'm.. I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >'Anon, what's going on!?" >I'm.. I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon is edgy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:00:25 No.876555994 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:01:17 No.876556024 My peepee burns when i peepee
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:00:25 No.876555994 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:01:17 No.876556024 My peepee burns when i peepee

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Anon is an NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)05:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about >Like the idea of camping >Decide l'm going to be the Camp Bro 89 KB JPG NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)05:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about >Like the idea of camping >Decide l'm going to be the Camp Bro 89 KB JPG NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much

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what’s a Nanking? | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon can't take a hint | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous Should I rope 11/03/21(Wed)10:40:23 No.66006264 >be me , 23yo kv >meet a qt 19 yo cosplayer chick at some anime con. >We talk like once a month, because I'm a pro concept artist and give her some advice on her drawings and all that. >Yesterday she writes me if we wanna hang right now because her friends 133 KB JPG ditched her last moment or something >l really can't at the moment so I decline >After an hour she writes me again and asks if she could sleep at my place for the night, cuz she was in a "weird situation'. I barely know her. >l have a friend over so I decline her >Tell what happened to my friend and he starts laughing and tells me he could've just went to a hotel for the night and I had a real chance to have sex with the girl >All my other friends tell me l'm an idiot and wasted my chance to fugg Let's be honest robros, what were the chances in reality for anything like that to happen ? I think s--- like that happens only in p---. Or I'm really an autist and should rope?
I Anonymous Should I rope 11/03/21(Wed)10:40:23 No.66006264 >be me , 23yo kv >meet a qt 19 yo cosplayer chick at some anime con. >We talk like once a month, because I'm a pro concept artist and give her some advice on her drawings and all that. >Yesterday she writes me if we wanna hang right now because her friends 133 KB JPG ditched her last moment or something >l really can't at the moment so I decline >After an hour she writes me again and asks if she could sleep at my place for the night, cuz she was in a "weird situation'. I barely know her. >l have a friend over so I decline her >Tell what happened to my friend and he starts laughing and tells me he could've just went to a hotel for the night and I had a real chance to have sex with the girl >All my other friends tell me l'm an idiot and wasted my chance to fugg Let's be honest robros, what were the chances in reality for anything like that to happen ? I think s--- like that happens only in p---. Or I'm really an autist and should rope?

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Anon is trying to quit drinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:38:56 No.68280684 >Been a heavy drinker for 5 years >Finally quitting >Feel braindamaged >The endless regret of what I've been doing to myself 454 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:40:25 No.68280696 >>68280684 (OP) # oh boo hooo hooo shut the f--- up f-----
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:38:56 No.68280684 >Been a heavy drinker for 5 years >Finally quitting >Feel braindamaged >The endless regret of what I've been doing to myself 454 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:40:25 No.68280696 >>68280684 (OP) # oh boo hooo hooo shut the f--- up f-----

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Anon Thinks Turkey is Good for Travel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women Co >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in 50 KB JPG Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women Co >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in 50 KB JPG Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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