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He is right | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit
Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:00 No.53878455 >>53878466 >>53878475 >>53878439 >she if it has a penis it isnt a "she" Anonymous 08/13/19(Tue)01:30:54 No.53878466 File: 410gxVYu08L. _SX425_jpg (21 KB, 425x408) >>53878515 >>53878455 I'm straight so whatever makes my d--- hard is a woman f----- reddit

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Anon kisses a lucky lady. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.
: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.

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Anon does a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw
> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon Wants To Join The Military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)13:15:24 No.68285180 Is the military the best robot career? They: >cook for you >house you >clothed you >provide you health/dental 51 KB JPG care >force you to stay physically fit >give you money to buy vidya The only thing you need to do is: >take orders like a robot >do your job exactly as they say with no deviations What are the downsides from a robot's perspective?
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)13:15:24 No.68285180 Is the military the best robot career? They: >cook for you >house you >clothed you >provide you health/dental 51 KB JPG care >force you to stay physically fit >give you money to buy vidya The only thing you need to do is: >take orders like a robot >do your job exactly as they say with no deviations What are the downsides from a robot's perspective?

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Anon becomes a Redditor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >'Anon, what's going on!?" >I'm.. I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies /1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >'Anon, what's going on!?" >I'm.. I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies /1 Image View Thread

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Anon is edgy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:00:25 No.876555994 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:01:17 No.876556024 My peepee burns when i peepee
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:00:25 No.876555994 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me. 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)17:01:17 No.876556024 My peepee burns when i peepee

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Anon is an NPC | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)05:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about >Like the idea of camping >Decide l'm going to be the Camp Bro 89 KB JPG NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)05:44:34 No.64448617 Have you taken the NPCpill yet, /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about >Like the idea of camping >Decide l'm going to be the Camp Bro 89 KB JPG NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much

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what’s a Nanking? | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon can't take a hint | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous Should I rope 11/03/21(Wed)10:40:23 No.66006264 >be me , 23yo kv >meet a qt 19 yo cosplayer chick at some anime con. >We talk like once a month, because I'm a pro concept artist and give her some advice on her drawings and all that. >Yesterday she writes me if we wanna hang right now because her friends 133 KB JPG ditched her last moment or something >l really can't at the moment so I decline >After an hour she writes me again and asks if she could sleep at my place for the night, cuz she was in a "weird situation'. I barely know her. >l have a friend over so I decline her >Tell what happened to my friend and he starts laughing and tells me he could've just went to a hotel for the night and I had a real chance to have sex with the girl >All my other friends tell me l'm an idiot and wasted my chance to fugg Let's be honest robros, what were the chances in reality for anything like that to happen ? I think s--- like that happens only in p---. Or I'm really an autist and should rope?
I Anonymous Should I rope 11/03/21(Wed)10:40:23 No.66006264 >be me , 23yo kv >meet a qt 19 yo cosplayer chick at some anime con. >We talk like once a month, because I'm a pro concept artist and give her some advice on her drawings and all that. >Yesterday she writes me if we wanna hang right now because her friends 133 KB JPG ditched her last moment or something >l really can't at the moment so I decline >After an hour she writes me again and asks if she could sleep at my place for the night, cuz she was in a "weird situation'. I barely know her. >l have a friend over so I decline her >Tell what happened to my friend and he starts laughing and tells me he could've just went to a hotel for the night and I had a real chance to have sex with the girl >All my other friends tell me l'm an idiot and wasted my chance to fugg Let's be honest robros, what were the chances in reality for anything like that to happen ? I think s--- like that happens only in p---. Or I'm really an autist and should rope?

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Anon is trying to quit drinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:38:56 No.68280684 >Been a heavy drinker for 5 years >Finally quitting >Feel braindamaged >The endless regret of what I've been doing to myself 454 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:40:25 No.68280696 >>68280684 (OP) # oh boo hooo hooo shut the f--- up f-----
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:38:56 No.68280684 >Been a heavy drinker for 5 years >Finally quitting >Feel braindamaged >The endless regret of what I've been doing to myself 454 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)12:40:25 No.68280696 >>68280684 (OP) # oh boo hooo hooo shut the f--- up f-----

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Anon Thinks Turkey is Good for Travel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women Co >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in 50 KB JPG Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)17:12:54 No.2072840 >cheap as f--- >sunny >attractive women Co >good food >no lockdowns, not hard to get in 50 KB JPG Why the f--- are you not in Turkey right now? 87 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hic >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and thať's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 09/24/18(Mon)10:39:21 No.780684379 >be me lonely virgin >only ever hooked up with one grill >friends invite me to movie theatre >didn't want to go, but they convinced me to come 10 KB JPG along >end up meeting this qt 3.14 >solid 8/10, bright blue eyes, pretty face, t hic >we actually hit it off pretty well >go in the theatre and we end up being alone together >we ended up holding hands and thať's when It happened >mfw when I wake up from my dream and I was literally f------ holding my own hand, alone in bed. Please someone just kill me 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

1 40867114 28/03/2017 6:05 PM >go to gold's >doing my warmup routine of curls and butterflys >entrance swings open >a literal f------ clown walks in >like not even some juggalo or joker cosplayer, 142 KB an actual clown that you'd see at a carnival >he checks in and goes to the freeweight section >picks up two 20 pound dumbbells and starts f------ juggling them >everyone stares in awe >one of the employees asks him to please stop because he could hurt someone >agrees and drops one on his foot, starts screaming in a high pitched voice >employee asks if he's ok >he lets out a chuckle, honks his nose and takes off hos size 19 shoe to reveal he's fine >employee sighs and tries to find the manager >by the time she comes back the clown is on the squat rack doing 3pl8 ATF reps >he notices her and the manager out of the corner of his eye and smiles >his pants conveniently rip and he s---- out three hackey sacks and a circus peanut i f------ hate these gym clowns i wish they would just go away
1 40867114 28/03/2017 6:05 PM >go to gold's >doing my warmup routine of curls and butterflys >entrance swings open >a literal f------ clown walks in >like not even some juggalo or joker cosplayer, 142 KB an actual clown that you'd see at a carnival >he checks in and goes to the freeweight section >picks up two 20 pound dumbbells and starts f------ juggling them >everyone stares in awe >one of the employees asks him to please stop because he could hurt someone >agrees and drops one on his foot, starts screaming in a high pitched voice >employee asks if he's ok >he lets out a chuckle, honks his nose and takes off hos size 19 shoe to reveal he's fine >employee sighs and tries to find the manager >by the time she comes back the clown is on the squat rack doing 3pl8 ATF reps >he notices her and the manager out of the corner of his eye and smiles >his pants conveniently rip and he s---- out three hackey sacks and a circus peanut i f------ hate these gym clowns i wish they would just go away

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Anon loves Golden Retrievers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WE8rKUcH 04/17/22(Sun)20:12:29 No.373289519 Golden Retriever's are the master race of dogs. >Intelligent >Isn't needlessly violent like a n----- >Understands the utility of social 28 KB JPG bonds >Knows the value of loyalty >Efficient at working as a team but also by themselves. Golden's are the white people of dogs. 114 Replies / 30 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: WE8rKUcH 04/17/22(Sun)20:12:29 No.373289519 Golden Retriever's are the master race of dogs. >Intelligent >Isn't needlessly violent like a n----- >Understands the utility of social 28 KB JPG bonds >Knows the value of loyalty >Efficient at working as a team but also by themselves. Golden's are the white people of dogs. 114 Replies / 30 Images View Thread

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Anons aunt doesnt like him very much | /r/Greentext

What's something very dumb that started a fight I your family? I'll start. >Easter 1.67 MB JPG >Go to dad's for evening and have a good time >Aunt shows up >She's moving back to town and brought my brother some preserved foods for his birthday later that week >Mine was a week prior and didn't get s---, but whatever >She leaves and dad checks out the stuff >Asked me ifI want some of the pickles >Say sure, assumed he heared they were there for brother but didn't care >Next day aunt text me saying to bring them back(over hour drive back there) >Calls me a thief and is "disappointed" in me >Explain I assumed it was cool cause I was given them > Dad talks to her And she seems chill >Text me more s--- an hour later and the blocks me on Facebook Mfw Pickles caused a rift in my family Pic is said pickles
What's something very dumb that started a fight I your family? I'll start. >Easter 1.67 MB JPG >Go to dad's for evening and have a good time >Aunt shows up >She's moving back to town and brought my brother some preserved foods for his birthday later that week >Mine was a week prior and didn't get s---, but whatever >She leaves and dad checks out the stuff >Asked me ifI want some of the pickles >Say sure, assumed he heared they were there for brother but didn't care >Next day aunt text me saying to bring them back(over hour drive back there) >Calls me a thief and is "disappointed" in me >Explain I assumed it was cool cause I was given them > Dad talks to her And she seems chill >Text me more s--- an hour later and the blocks me on Facebook Mfw Pickles caused a rift in my family Pic is said pickles

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anon got banned. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:20:18 No.876528139 Society can't handle those who dare to question the basic fallacies of our synergies. I'm banned at every major subreddit, 4chan board, and guess what? I'm also banned at malls now. 40 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/18/22(Mon)23:20:18 No.876528139 Society can't handle those who dare to question the basic fallacies of our synergies. I'm banned at every major subreddit, 4chan board, and guess what? I'm also banned at malls now. 40 KB GIF

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Anon eats healthy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:46:36 No.17713372 20220417_081409.jpg 1.25 MB JPG >put rice in rice cooker >put chicken in air fryer Why do people pretend cooking and eating healthy is hard? : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:49:15 No.17713377 >>17713372 (OP) # making that cumshake must've taken a while though >>17713380 #
: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:46:36 No.17713372 20220417_081409.jpg 1.25 MB JPG >put rice in rice cooker >put chicken in air fryer Why do people pretend cooking and eating healthy is hard? : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)17:49:15 No.17713377 >>17713372 (OP) # making that cumshake must've taken a while though >>17713380 #

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Baby senses that Anon uses 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:44:27 No.876529310 >watch my sister's baby >baby just cries non stop >hold baby, it cries >sit baby down, it cries >kid is almost a year old now and every time it sees me it cries and freaks out 1.21 MB GIF >just ignore it until it cries itself to sleep >doesn't cry when I feed her but cries as soon as l'm finishes burping her >literally cries as soon as it wakes up and sees me >does this until my sister comes to pick her up >"that's so weird. She never does that. It's probably because you have a beard haha" Guys what the f--- is wrong with babies?
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)00:44:27 No.876529310 >watch my sister's baby >baby just cries non stop >hold baby, it cries >sit baby down, it cries >kid is almost a year old now and every time it sees me it cries and freaks out 1.21 MB GIF >just ignore it until it cries itself to sleep >doesn't cry when I feed her but cries as soon as l'm finishes burping her >literally cries as soon as it wakes up and sees me >does this until my sister comes to pick her up >"that's so weird. She never does that. It's probably because you have a beard haha" Guys what the f--- is wrong with babies?

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Hola, mi nombre es Anon | /r/Greentext

>mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking
>mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOO00000" >police sirens >dog barking

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anon goes fishing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)07:16:28 No.801059659 >fishin in lake >catchin frends >releasin frends >big frends >little frends So many fish frends to see in the lake 6 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)07:16:28 No.801059659 >fishin in lake >catchin frends >releasin frends >big frends >little frends So many fish frends to see in the lake 6 KB PNG

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