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Anon loves Spongebob. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:49:11 No.68295546 >Be me >25 >Browse netflix for a good hour looking for something decent to watch >end up watching spongebob for the 10th time 651 KB PNG Every single time
Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:49:11 No.68295546 >Be me >25 >Browse netflix for a good hour looking for something decent to watch >end up watching spongebob for the 10th time 651 KB PNG Every single time

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Anon buys a game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:16:50 No.876604568 >be me >10 years old >looking for some new video games to play >see this one game called "Naughty Bear" >ask my dad to get it for me 101 KB JPG >he buys it and I start playing >It's about a teddy bear named Naughty who wasn't invited to go on vacation with all the others bears >Naughty Bear decides to hunt down all of the mean bears >Run around stabbing, bludgeoning, and shooting teddy bears >curb stomp them, shove em into lawnmowers, feed them to sharks, blow them up, shove telephones down their throats, attack them with sharp objects and see them cough up stuffing as they try to run away >dad walks in and sees me brutally murdering cute little stuffed animals while they scream and hide >he walks away >l keep playing and finding new inventive ways to kill Those bears were dipshits. Naughty Bear didn't get invited to one of their birthday parties and he still went to give them a present, only to get laughed at and told to go away. They came to his house to bring him a cake only to shove it in his face and laugh at him some more. I enjoyed killing those bears
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:16:50 No.876604568 >be me >10 years old >looking for some new video games to play >see this one game called "Naughty Bear" >ask my dad to get it for me 101 KB JPG >he buys it and I start playing >It's about a teddy bear named Naughty who wasn't invited to go on vacation with all the others bears >Naughty Bear decides to hunt down all of the mean bears >Run around stabbing, bludgeoning, and shooting teddy bears >curb stomp them, shove em into lawnmowers, feed them to sharks, blow them up, shove telephones down their throats, attack them with sharp objects and see them cough up stuffing as they try to run away >dad walks in and sees me brutally murdering cute little stuffed animals while they scream and hide >he walks away >l keep playing and finding new inventive ways to kill Those bears were dipshits. Naughty Bear didn't get invited to one of their birthday parties and he still went to give them a present, only to get laughed at and told to go away. They came to his house to bring him a cake only to shove it in his face and laugh at him some more. I enjoyed killing those bears

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Anon is in a loving relationship | /r/Greentext

>be me >find trap p--- because of this dumb site >download a gay hookup app to find one and get the urge off me >match with a short femme nerd >doesn't crossdress but girly as all hell 21 KB JPG >closeenough.jpeg >hookup two separate times >starts coming over for tv and games sometimes without sex >randomly brings food over from his s----- wageslave gig >asks to be my roommate so he can finally move out of his parents' house >we've become great buds and regularly have sex >mfw i'm in a loving gay relationship
>be me >find trap p--- because of this dumb site >download a gay hookup app to find one and get the urge off me >match with a short femme nerd >doesn't crossdress but girly as all hell 21 KB JPG >closeenough.jpeg >hookup two separate times >starts coming over for tv and games sometimes without sex >randomly brings food over from his s----- wageslave gig >asks to be my roommate so he can finally move out of his parents' house >we've become great buds and regularly have sex >mfw i'm in a loving gay relationship

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Anon is an engineer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)13:18:15 No.14395105 >get engineering degree >start looking for job >all I can find is a 50k position in IT you guys lied to me 340 KB PNG
Anonymous 04/14/22(Thu)13:18:15 No.14395105 >get engineering degree >start looking for job >all I can find is a 50k position in IT you guys lied to me 340 KB PNG

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Manlets are doomed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:55:59 No.68292161 if being a manlet is such a disability than explain this lanklets 1.05 MB PNG : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)08:41:12 No.68292572 >>68292161 (OP) # >multimillionaire >pretty much 10/10 in everything besides height >basically the number 1 actor at the time >ends up gets divorced anyways What does this prove?
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)07:55:59 No.68292161 if being a manlet is such a disability than explain this lanklets 1.05 MB PNG : Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)08:41:12 No.68292572 >>68292161 (OP) # >multimillionaire >pretty much 10/10 in everything besides height >basically the number 1 actor at the time >ends up gets divorced anyways What does this prove?

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modern classic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/22/15(Mon)22:23:43 No.623416640 >buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later
Anonymous 06/22/15(Mon)22:23:43 No.623416640 >buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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anon is hard. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin 7 KB JPG >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet
Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin 7 KB JPG >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet

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Anon is a sysadmin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:17:05 No.86587537 >be sysadmin >apply for a job >hr asks for github portfolio W-- even am i supposed to have on my github 7 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)22:17:05 No.86587537 >be sysadmin >apply for a job >hr asks for github portfolio W-- even am i supposed to have on my github 7 KB JPG

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It's all on perspective | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? 368 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #
: Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:26:51 No.746469601 Thinking of buying some 12 year old scotch. Does it live up to the hype? 368 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)07:29:56 No.746469898 >>746469601 (OP) # let her buy her own scotch you p-------- >>746469943 # >>746470233 # >>746470276 # >>746474489 #

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Anon admires Newton | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)19:36:03 No.68288662 >if you push something, it will move woah, he really was the greatest 30 KB JPG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)19:36:03 No.68288662 >if you push something, it will move woah, he really was the greatest 30 KB JPG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon attempts drive thru flirting | /r/Greentext


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Mom is suspicious of Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)05:01:01 No.25405066 My mom thinks I'm f------ the dog. She keeps trying to say it's okay, its wrong, but she understands, but im literally not?? Like heres what happened >took a shower >walk into my room in a towel to get dressed 13 KB JPG >the dog pushed his way into my room as I opened the door >but like so what, he's a dog? Not like it matters if he sees me naked >so l'm getting dressed, but then stopped to pet him and he starts panting and wagging his tail like dogs do >l finish getting dressed and open the door to see my mom standing there, wide eyed >ask her what's up and the dog walks out as I open the door She kept acting weird all day so I asked her what's up and now she drops this bomb on me. Like, I get it, im an ugly hon, but im not that f------ desperate, mom. Like w--. How do I convince her im not a dog f-----???
: Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)05:01:01 No.25405066 My mom thinks I'm f------ the dog. She keeps trying to say it's okay, its wrong, but she understands, but im literally not?? Like heres what happened >took a shower >walk into my room in a towel to get dressed 13 KB JPG >the dog pushed his way into my room as I opened the door >but like so what, he's a dog? Not like it matters if he sees me naked >so l'm getting dressed, but then stopped to pet him and he starts panting and wagging his tail like dogs do >l finish getting dressed and open the door to see my mom standing there, wide eyed >ask her what's up and the dog walks out as I open the door She kept acting weird all day so I asked her what's up and now she drops this bomb on me. Like, I get it, im an ugly hon, but im not that f------ desperate, mom. Like w--. How do I convince her im not a dog f-----???

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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Anon’s onto something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:43:56 No.871014497 I am starting to have the suspicion that there is a lot of pedophiles here. 72 KB JPG 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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league of legends g*mer | /r/Greentext

1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined
1607397557617.png 58 KB PNG >win game >feel nothing >lose game >day ruined

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Anon is Serbian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)21:40:02 No.876602853 FA058BB5-A08B-48F6-8E7D-DE8F29702DBD.jpg 50 KB JPG >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >l explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)21:40:02 No.876602853 FA058BB5-A08B-48F6-8E7D-DE8F29702DBD.jpg 50 KB JPG >be me >Serbian >family is pretty racist >hit it off with a Croat girl and start dating her >eventually decide to break it to my dad >He's sitting down reading and I say there's something I want to tell him >l explain to him that I've met someone who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with >"You better not be telling me you're gay anon." >say that I am not gay, and that I've been dating a Croat girl for a few months now >he gives me a harsh look, throws his book at me, & starts yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs >mfw I probably should've just told him I was gay

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You thought. | /r/Greentext

>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated
>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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The apple dosent fall far from the tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.56535266 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw
: Anonymous 02/01/20(Sat)21:02:27 No.56535266 >talking to my dad about my depression >explaining passive suicidality >"while I'm not going to actively try to kill myself, if a truck was coming straight at me I probably wouldn't get out of the way" >his reply 93 KB JPG >his f------ reply >"oh that's how I've felt my whole life" >mfw

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Anon likes it black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:25:25 No.17719344 >coffee with sugar Just drink a soda kid 806 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:34:12 No.17719370 >cream in coffee Might as well drink a milkshake >>17719499 # >>17721468 # : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:36:57 No.17719381 >coffee with beans Not in Texas, kiddo >>17720012 #
: Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:25:25 No.17719344 >coffee with sugar Just drink a soda kid 806 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:34:12 No.17719370 >cream in coffee Might as well drink a milkshake >>17719499 # >>17721468 # : Anonymous 04/19/22(Tue)01:36:57 No.17719381 >coffee with beans Not in Texas, kiddo >>17720012 #

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anons best friend is attracted to him | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you
>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to 8 KB JPG time >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you

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