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Anon loses his only friend | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon is a fucking liar | /r/Greentext

Favorite game lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG > "I guess you couldn't survive. Five Nights at Freddy's." : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.14024540 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that
Favorite game lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG > "I guess you couldn't survive. Five Nights at Freddy's." : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.14024540 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" 374 KB JPG >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw
: Anonymous 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" 374 KB JPG >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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Anon tries out TikTok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)14:30:18 No.876795366 >install tiktok >go to the live section >scroll for almost an hour >none of them look older than 25 >every single one of them look dead behind the eyes 18 KB JPG >some barely talk >some can't stop talking but don't seem to have even two brain cells to rub together >begin to question why today's young people seem so hollow >i've seen enough >uninstall tiktok What is wrong with these people?
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)14:30:18 No.876795366 >install tiktok >go to the live section >scroll for almost an hour >none of them look older than 25 >every single one of them look dead behind the eyes 18 KB JPG >some barely talk >some can't stop talking but don't seem to have even two brain cells to rub together >begin to question why today's young people seem so hollow >i've seen enough >uninstall tiktok What is wrong with these people?

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lies, deception | /r/Greentext

>buy wireless device >look inside >wires
>buy wireless device >look inside >wires

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Anon gets no girls cuz he's 5'11 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:25:23 No.8909507 How tall were David and Goliath actually? 47 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:53:10 No.8909611 5'11 and 6'0 >>8909617 #
: Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:25:23 No.8909507 How tall were David and Goliath actually? 47 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/21/20(Sun)21:53:10 No.8909611 5'11 and 6'0 >>8909617 #

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Anon has a harem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple
Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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Anon meets Bug Bro. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.
: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.

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Anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon is a helpful brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >I'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >I sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >I'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >I sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it

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Anon brings her boyfriend home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.

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Anon is skeptical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)08:00:59 No.876792598 AIRBUSA380 .A**... a . A380 images (3).jpg 17 KB JPG >move 170 metres/s >still somehow keep up with earth which moves 460 metres/s you really believe this s---?
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)08:00:59 No.876792598 AIRBUSA380 .A**... a . A380 images (3).jpg 17 KB JPG >move 170 metres/s >still somehow keep up with earth which moves 460 metres/s you really believe this s---?

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Anon trolls HR | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist 88 KB PNG >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up
: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist 88 KB PNG >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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Anon isn't a fun person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:02:47 No.68330374 i didn't realize that women liked fun guys. they don't even care if you're ambitious M Fane 92 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:05:10 No.68330396 Apparently fun things are fun : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:06:15 No.68330413 >>68330374 (OP) # >Women want a jester with a fascinating life and a pretty face >Men just want something to f--- Nothing new was learned today. 66 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:02:47 No.68330374 i didn't realize that women liked fun guys. they don't even care if you're ambitious M Fane 92 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:05:10 No.68330396 Apparently fun things are fun : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:06:15 No.68330413 >>68330374 (OP) # >Women want a jester with a fascinating life and a pretty face >Men just want something to f--- Nothing new was learned today. 66 KB JPG

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Anon has some family issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)00:25:31 No.876782425 >be me >dad is black ??? >mom is white, and also from the countryside >my cousin on my mom's side said that he doesn't feel comfortable around black people ??? 36 KB JPG >however, he also says that he's cool with my dad because he's a part of his family I don't understand
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)00:25:31 No.876782425 >be me >dad is black ??? >mom is white, and also from the countryside >my cousin on my mom's side said that he doesn't feel comfortable around black people ??? 36 KB JPG >however, he also says that he's cool with my dad because he's a part of his family I don't understand

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

Tfucking hate among us 04/23/22(Sat)07:43:56 No.68338951 Greentext thread? Greentext thread. me first. >Be me >24, Femanon teacher for 3rd graders >Be teaching history and I say the word "suspicious" 13 KB JPG >Almost instantly I have 24 or so little s---- screaming "SUSSY" or some dumb s--- about Among us >lts been over a week and whenever they see me outside my class, they point and call me an Imposter >More kids hear about it, and more kids start doing it to F------ kill me.
Tfucking hate among us 04/23/22(Sat)07:43:56 No.68338951 Greentext thread? Greentext thread. me first. >Be me >24, Femanon teacher for 3rd graders >Be teaching history and I say the word "suspicious" 13 KB JPG >Almost instantly I have 24 or so little s---- screaming "SUSSY" or some dumb s--- about Among us >lts been over a week and whenever they see me outside my class, they point and call me an Imposter >More kids hear about it, and more kids start doing it to F------ kill me.

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Anon is high IQ | /r/Greentext

58873B35-8DFO-40A4-9601-DCB806DCAD5B.jpg 32 KB JPG > be me > went out with qt3.14 once >I think she considered it as date > she is really shy and me aswell > we didn't even hold hands but we still write to each other on IG > told her that I am going to friend's birthday party and I will drink there > write her at 3AM "I woult f-- you hard af" > "anon you are just drunk" > "maibee bat I woult do it anyvay" > "anon wanna come to my place tommorow we can watch movie" > mfw I wasnt drunk > mfw I didnt go to a birthday party > mfw It worked > mfw I wrote it with bad gramatic to look it as I am drunk af | Ok anons my brain is just superior. Like how can I be this intelligent it shouldn't even be possible
58873B35-8DFO-40A4-9601-DCB806DCAD5B.jpg 32 KB JPG > be me > went out with qt3.14 once >I think she considered it as date > she is really shy and me aswell > we didn't even hold hands but we still write to each other on IG > told her that I am going to friend's birthday party and I will drink there > write her at 3AM "I woult f-- you hard af" > "anon you are just drunk" > "maibee bat I woult do it anyvay" > "anon wanna come to my place tommorow we can watch movie" > mfw I wasnt drunk > mfw I didnt go to a birthday party > mfw It worked > mfw I wrote it with bad gramatic to look it as I am drunk af | Ok anons my brain is just superior. Like how can I be this intelligent it shouldn't even be possible

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Anon follows his dreams | /r/Greentext

Internet 4/22 (Fri) 10:23 >be me >Truck driver >Get bored >Yoho.exe >Start playing sea shanties while driving and sing along >My truck is my vessel and the road 18 KB PNG my ocean Life is good anons. Follow your dreams. START SELECT Post a Reply Return Catalog Top Refresh +) Menu MIC
Internet 4/22 (Fri) 10:23 >be me >Truck driver >Get bored >Yoho.exe >Start playing sea shanties while driving and sing along >My truck is my vessel and the road 18 KB PNG my ocean Life is good anons. Follow your dreams. START SELECT Post a Reply Return Catalog Top Refresh +) Menu MIC

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys
>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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