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Anon has a harem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple
Anonymous University Harem 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not 37 KB PNG true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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Anon meets Bug Bro. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.
: Anonymous Bug Bro 11/26/21(Fri)09:04:51 No.66306153 >15 year old daughter suddently got an extreme interest in mantises >decide to buy her one >she cares for it like a baby, honestly surprised at her responsibility over her pet >she wants me to hold it but I don't wanna >eventually she wears me down and I do it >the damn thing looks me in the face 1.2 MB JPG when it's not focused on the tricks she makes it do (jump from hand to hand, etc) >daughter tells me it can eat all sorts of meat >what the hell >feed it a piece of steak >IT EATS IT FROM MY HAND >have been bonding with the mantis ever since I never thought I could get this invested in a bug.

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Anon has an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a 84 KB JPG decent face. : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Anon is a helpful brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >I'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >I sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >I'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >I sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfw I got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it

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Anon brings her boyfriend home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.
: Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:20:16 No.794209193 >Your daughter brings home her asian boyfriend for the first time How do you react to her being a race traitor? 79 KB JPG 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:23:52 No.794209336 I'm fine with it. Smart, high earners : Anonymous 03/05/19(Tue)08:26:06 No.794209415 I'm ok with it. No n----- at least.

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Anon is skeptical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)08:00:59 No.876792598 AIRBUSA380 .A**... a . A380 images (3).jpg 17 KB JPG >move 170 metres/s >still somehow keep up with earth which moves 460 metres/s you really believe this s---?
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)08:00:59 No.876792598 AIRBUSA380 .A**... a . A380 images (3).jpg 17 KB JPG >move 170 metres/s >still somehow keep up with earth which moves 460 metres/s you really believe this s---?

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Anon trolls HR | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist 88 KB PNG >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up
: Anonymous Autistic Workmates 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist 88 KB PNG >obviously we befriend eachother within 1 week >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCS from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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Anon isn't a fun person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:02:47 No.68330374 i didn't realize that women liked fun guys. they don't even care if you're ambitious M Fane 92 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:05:10 No.68330396 Apparently fun things are fun : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:06:15 No.68330413 >>68330374 (OP) # >Women want a jester with a fascinating life and a pretty face >Men just want something to f--- Nothing new was learned today. 66 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:02:47 No.68330374 i didn't realize that women liked fun guys. they don't even care if you're ambitious M Fane 92 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:05:10 No.68330396 Apparently fun things are fun : Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)01:06:15 No.68330413 >>68330374 (OP) # >Women want a jester with a fascinating life and a pretty face >Men just want something to f--- Nothing new was learned today. 66 KB JPG

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Anon has some family issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)00:25:31 No.876782425 >be me >dad is black ??? >mom is white, and also from the countryside >my cousin on my mom's side said that he doesn't feel comfortable around black people ??? 36 KB JPG >however, he also says that he's cool with my dad because he's a part of his family I don't understand
: Anonymous 04/23/22(Sat)00:25:31 No.876782425 >be me >dad is black ??? >mom is white, and also from the countryside >my cousin on my mom's side said that he doesn't feel comfortable around black people ??? 36 KB JPG >however, he also says that he's cool with my dad because he's a part of his family I don't understand

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/10/21 (Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

Tfucking hate among us 04/23/22(Sat)07:43:56 No.68338951 Greentext thread? Greentext thread. me first. >Be me >24, Femanon teacher for 3rd graders >Be teaching history and I say the word "suspicious" 13 KB JPG >Almost instantly I have 24 or so little s---- screaming "SUSSY" or some dumb s--- about Among us >lts been over a week and whenever they see me outside my class, they point and call me an Imposter >More kids hear about it, and more kids start doing it to F------ kill me.
Tfucking hate among us 04/23/22(Sat)07:43:56 No.68338951 Greentext thread? Greentext thread. me first. >Be me >24, Femanon teacher for 3rd graders >Be teaching history and I say the word "suspicious" 13 KB JPG >Almost instantly I have 24 or so little s---- screaming "SUSSY" or some dumb s--- about Among us >lts been over a week and whenever they see me outside my class, they point and call me an Imposter >More kids hear about it, and more kids start doing it to F------ kill me.

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Anon is high IQ | /r/Greentext

58873B35-8DFO-40A4-9601-DCB806DCAD5B.jpg 32 KB JPG > be me > went out with qt3.14 once >I think she considered it as date > she is really shy and me aswell > we didn't even hold hands but we still write to each other on IG > told her that I am going to friend's birthday party and I will drink there > write her at 3AM "I woult f-- you hard af" > "anon you are just drunk" > "maibee bat I woult do it anyvay" > "anon wanna come to my place tommorow we can watch movie" > mfw I wasnt drunk > mfw I didnt go to a birthday party > mfw It worked > mfw I wrote it with bad gramatic to look it as I am drunk af | Ok anons my brain is just superior. Like how can I be this intelligent it shouldn't even be possible
58873B35-8DFO-40A4-9601-DCB806DCAD5B.jpg 32 KB JPG > be me > went out with qt3.14 once >I think she considered it as date > she is really shy and me aswell > we didn't even hold hands but we still write to each other on IG > told her that I am going to friend's birthday party and I will drink there > write her at 3AM "I woult f-- you hard af" > "anon you are just drunk" > "maibee bat I woult do it anyvay" > "anon wanna come to my place tommorow we can watch movie" > mfw I wasnt drunk > mfw I didnt go to a birthday party > mfw It worked > mfw I wrote it with bad gramatic to look it as I am drunk af | Ok anons my brain is just superior. Like how can I be this intelligent it shouldn't even be possible

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Anon follows his dreams | /r/Greentext

Internet 4/22 (Fri) 10:23 >be me >Truck driver >Get bored >Yoho.exe >Start playing sea shanties while driving and sing along >My truck is my vessel and the road 18 KB PNG my ocean Life is good anons. Follow your dreams. START SELECT Post a Reply Return Catalog Top Refresh +) Menu MIC
Internet 4/22 (Fri) 10:23 >be me >Truck driver >Get bored >Yoho.exe >Start playing sea shanties while driving and sing along >My truck is my vessel and the road 18 KB PNG my ocean Life is good anons. Follow your dreams. START SELECT Post a Reply Return Catalog Top Refresh +) Menu MIC

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys
>be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug 24 KB JPG >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Anon protects his virginity at all costs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)12:27:33 No.872553388 > Be me > Be cab driver in major tourist city > Haven't had sex in so long i'm basically virgin again > Pick up 3 spanish qt3.14s at the airport, ask to go to city hotel > Sure > During the ride we talk about the fun 32 KB JPG things to do in the city, night parties, where to get weed and booze, usual stuff > Arrived at their hotel > They say 'that was fun, why don't you hang out with us tonight?" > Turbo-autism kicks in > Answer 'oh no I can't, my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that' > >I don't have a girlfriend > why am i like this
: Anonymous 02/12/22(Sat)12:27:33 No.872553388 > Be me > Be cab driver in major tourist city > Haven't had sex in so long i'm basically virgin again > Pick up 3 spanish qt3.14s at the airport, ask to go to city hotel > Sure > During the ride we talk about the fun 32 KB JPG things to do in the city, night parties, where to get weed and booze, usual stuff > Arrived at their hotel > They say 'that was fun, why don't you hang out with us tonight?" > Turbo-autism kicks in > Answer 'oh no I can't, my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that' > >I don't have a girlfriend > why am i like this

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Anon likes incest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)19:06:44 No.876762621 Embarrassing stories that ruined your life? >be me, like 4th or 5th grade >learning sex-ed >one of the smart girls in class asks if we'll be talking about Sigmund Freud theories and was told no >other kids start asking what that means and why 61 KB JPG we won't be learning it >teacher is hesitant but explains briefly who he was and his theories >smart girl grins and yells "Ya he said boys want to try and sleep with their moms cause boys are gross!" >it was a setup all along, well played >general laughing and tomfoolery occurs as the teacher tries to get us back on track >later at recess the boys are talking about ass vs t--- >one of them asks me my preference >"T--- are way better" >they're shocked and say they thought l'd be an ass man this is where s--- gets autistic >having just learned about Freud's theory I thought l'd make a joke >blurt out "of course I prefer t---, you've all met my mom!" >there is a stunned silence for all of 0.69 seconds when they all burst out laughing >mfw my nickname from then on was M----------- The worst part has got to be going to a college far from home and thinking I can finally have a fresh start and the 2nd day there some dude comes up to me in front of a bunch of classmates and says "Hey Anon! We went to public school together, remember. You still the m-----------?"
Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)19:06:44 No.876762621 Embarrassing stories that ruined your life? >be me, like 4th or 5th grade >learning sex-ed >one of the smart girls in class asks if we'll be talking about Sigmund Freud theories and was told no >other kids start asking what that means and why 61 KB JPG we won't be learning it >teacher is hesitant but explains briefly who he was and his theories >smart girl grins and yells "Ya he said boys want to try and sleep with their moms cause boys are gross!" >it was a setup all along, well played >general laughing and tomfoolery occurs as the teacher tries to get us back on track >later at recess the boys are talking about ass vs t--- >one of them asks me my preference >"T--- are way better" >they're shocked and say they thought l'd be an ass man this is where s--- gets autistic >having just learned about Freud's theory I thought l'd make a joke >blurt out "of course I prefer t---, you've all met my mom!" >there is a stunned silence for all of 0.69 seconds when they all burst out laughing >mfw my nickname from then on was M----------- The worst part has got to be going to a college far from home and thinking I can finally have a fresh start and the 2nd day there some dude comes up to me in front of a bunch of classmates and says "Hey Anon! We went to public school together, remember. You still the m-----------?"

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Anon talks about Pizza Hut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Jn5n4Yqx 03/27/22(Sun)01:32:10 No.369540732 >>369540668 (OP) # You ever see the classic pizza hut buildings? The iconic roof and solid brick- work make the buildings stand out even if they are sold and repurposed. Sure they can paint it, put decorations on it, rename it, hell you can even put a giant sign on it that says "not a pizza hut!", but in the end everyone knows that used to be a pizza hut. The building could even change from the food industry entirely and the first thought on their mind will be "wow it's weird that the pizza hut is a bank now". That's what you are, 94 KB JPG t-----. >>369540906 # >>369542652 # >>369542812 # >>369543047 # >>369547775 # >>369550590 # >>369551691 # >>369551792 # >>369552306 # >>369553095 # >>369554043 # >>369556642 # >>369558806 # >>369559109 # >>369559297 # >>369559961 #
: Anonymous (ID: Jn5n4Yqx 03/27/22(Sun)01:32:10 No.369540732 >>369540668 (OP) # You ever see the classic pizza hut buildings? The iconic roof and solid brick- work make the buildings stand out even if they are sold and repurposed. Sure they can paint it, put decorations on it, rename it, hell you can even put a giant sign on it that says "not a pizza hut!", but in the end everyone knows that used to be a pizza hut. The building could even change from the food industry entirely and the first thought on their mind will be "wow it's weird that the pizza hut is a bank now". That's what you are, 94 KB JPG t-----. >>369540906 # >>369542652 # >>369542812 # >>369543047 # >>369547775 # >>369550590 # >>369551691 # >>369551792 # >>369552306 # >>369553095 # >>369554043 # >>369556642 # >>369558806 # >>369559109 # >>369559297 # >>369559961 #

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What’s not to get | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize I'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things
: Anonymous 12/23/21(Thu)20:18:51 No.66689300 What the f---? >Girl in my class that I talk with sometimes >People think we're together >She keeps saying how she will NEVER date me >And that she's way out of my league 231 KB PNG >Don't care lol. >One day we're making some small talk >Topic goes onto dating >She reinstates that she can do way better then me >"That's ok, I don't really think you're really good looking" >She hasn't talked to me since What the f---? : Anon 12/23/21(Thu)20:23:29 No.66689341 >>66689300 (OP) # >haha i get to flex that this guy totally wants to f--- me but i would never >"actually I don't like you at all" >realize I'm just a failed attention w---- >immediately cut contact to save face average basic bitch things

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anon plays a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:05:48 No.68329687 Rate this prank I pulled out of 10 >my mom is 70 years old >she's scared of developing Alzheimer's because her mother started showing the earliest symptoms at 74 and was diagnosed at 77 >this morning my mom texted me 700 KB GIF something >l replied with "You don't remember that you already told me this? We talked about it for a solid hour yesterday." >she's freaking out now thinking she might be showing beginner signs of Alzheimer's Don't worry I'll tell her before the day's over that I was just kidding lol
: Anonymous 04/22/22(Fri)22:05:48 No.68329687 Rate this prank I pulled out of 10 >my mom is 70 years old >she's scared of developing Alzheimer's because her mother started showing the earliest symptoms at 74 and was diagnosed at 77 >this morning my mom texted me 700 KB GIF something >l replied with "You don't remember that you already told me this? We talked about it for a solid hour yesterday." >she's freaking out now thinking she might be showing beginner signs of Alzheimer's Don't worry I'll tell her before the day's over that I was just kidding lol

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Anon orders food | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:50:51 No.876704350 wat you wan ordah 54 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:18 No.876704444 >>876704350 (OP) # Shrimp fri rie : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:52 No.876704473 Can i get shrimp lo mein dinner combo please
: Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:50:51 No.876704350 wat you wan ordah 54 KB JPG 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:18 No.876704444 >>876704350 (OP) # Shrimp fri rie : Anonymous 04/21/22(Thu)17:53:52 No.876704473 Can i get shrimp lo mein dinner combo please

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