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Anon Is spiderman. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.
: Anonymous 04/27/22(Wed)03:39:48 No.877001801 I have spiderman c--. >be me >cooms >normal j--- comes out >wipe away >afterwards I slowly pull a leftover string of c-- out of my d--- hole 114 KB PNG >it can get really long >l can feel it coming out of my urethra >wet_noodle.mov >mfw >it's really stretchy and is definitely a solid but can still break easily >lf I wrap it between my index fingers it can support the weight of my hand >mfw I have my own web shooter formula >mfw I probably have f----- up sperm so l'm probably sterile and don't have to worry about knocking some w---- up >My length record is my entire arm span | Is this normal? My friend suggested I try swinging from a building with it.

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Anon progress backwards | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets it! | /r/Greentext


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Can confirm it works. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a kind friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:15:54 No.597035539 >be 8 >get invited over to rich friend's house >first time going to a friend's house ever 90 KB GIF >every f------ console imaginable >big ass screen >playing wii sports resort, the one with the little plane island game >his mom sees him using the wiimote, yells at him to let his guest play >he awkwardly hands me the controller >everytime i hear his mom coming i'd hand him the controller >"hey take the remote, try pressing these two buttons for a cool easter egg" >there was never an easter egg >mom always comes in, gets frustrated he isn't letting his guest play, yells, leaves >this happens 3 times and he never questions why im giving him the remote >i never question why i have the impulse to do this >mom comes in a fourth time and asks to talk to him alone >mfw i heard him getting spanked while i flew my wii plane around the island volcano >he comes back in fighting tears, lets me play whatever i want for the rest of the visit >switched to his xbox and played cod zombies for a few hours while he watched in sadness >dont know why i did it to this day >feel bad whenever i remember it, never did anything like this >last i heard, this kid became a coke addict in high school >>597036109 # >>597036110 # >>597036679 # >>597038416 #
: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:15:54 No.597035539 >be 8 >get invited over to rich friend's house >first time going to a friend's house ever 90 KB GIF >every f------ console imaginable >big ass screen >playing wii sports resort, the one with the little plane island game >his mom sees him using the wiimote, yells at him to let his guest play >he awkwardly hands me the controller >everytime i hear his mom coming i'd hand him the controller >"hey take the remote, try pressing these two buttons for a cool easter egg" >there was never an easter egg >mom always comes in, gets frustrated he isn't letting his guest play, yells, leaves >this happens 3 times and he never questions why im giving him the remote >i never question why i have the impulse to do this >mom comes in a fourth time and asks to talk to him alone >mfw i heard him getting spanked while i flew my wii plane around the island volcano >he comes back in fighting tears, lets me play whatever i want for the rest of the visit >switched to his xbox and played cod zombies for a few hours while he watched in sadness >dont know why i did it to this day >feel bad whenever i remember it, never did anything like this >last i heard, this kid became a coke addict in high school >>597036109 # >>597036110 # >>597036679 # >>597038416 #

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a true /fit/ scholar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:00:42 No.48798885 Been having diarrhea for a couple days lads. Going to hit the gym for an hour. I'll let you lads know if I s--- myself 57 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:53:45 No.48799355 >>48798885 (OP) # Well it happened lads. I s--- myself >>48799419 # >>48799637 # >>48799678 #
: Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:00:42 No.48798885 Been having diarrhea for a couple days lads. Going to hit the gym for an hour. I'll let you lads know if I s--- myself 57 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/20/18(Thu)19:53:45 No.48799355 >>48798885 (OP) # Well it happened lads. I s--- myself >>48799419 # >>48799637 # >>48799678 #

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It's Bong. Brit Bong. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: fvgOASRk 05/02/18(Wed)05:24: >be top tier british spy >need a licence to kill 59 KB JPG

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anon had sleep paralysis | /r/Greentext


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Anon is no longer a beta | /r/Greentext

No.587885243 hours ago test (2).png PNG 236.0 KiB 657x527 >normal day >sitting at compooter >suddenly my balls are itchy >like something is really bugging it >cannot resist the urge to scratch >feel a bump as i graze across the sack >certainly wasn't a scab >certainly wasn't an std >immediately throw off pants >inspect peepee like doctor >a f------ TICK is latched inbetween balls and shaft >pull that s--- off >really painful >speedrun to bathroom to eliminate the threat >originally disgusted >think about it some more >tfw i just got my d--- sucked See you later virgins.
No.587885243 hours ago test (2).png PNG 236.0 KiB 657x527 >normal day >sitting at compooter >suddenly my balls are itchy >like something is really bugging it >cannot resist the urge to scratch >feel a bump as i graze across the sack >certainly wasn't a scab >certainly wasn't an std >immediately throw off pants >inspect peepee like doctor >a f------ TICK is latched inbetween balls and shaft >pull that s--- off >really painful >speedrun to bathroom to eliminate the threat >originally disgusted >think about it some more >tfw i just got my d--- sucked See you later virgins.

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Family guy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)14:18:54 No.46584903 >walk into gym >lower back is a little tight so I do that stretch where you hug your knees >accidentally rip a fart >mortified I remember a joke from family guy about blaming it on the dog >loudly say "that was the dog!" >only other person is qt on a treadmill and she has no reaction >walk up to her and yell "that's a dog" >she pulls out her headphones and goes "what?" >l go "whatsup dog" Never seen her since. F------ family guy. >>46584978 # >>46587730 # >>46588283 # >>46588730 # >>46590715 # >>46595808 # >>46597967 #
: Anonymous 06/25/18(Mon)14:18:54 No.46584903 >walk into gym >lower back is a little tight so I do that stretch where you hug your knees >accidentally rip a fart >mortified I remember a joke from family guy about blaming it on the dog >loudly say "that was the dog!" >only other person is qt on a treadmill and she has no reaction >walk up to her and yell "that's a dog" >she pulls out her headphones and goes "what?" >l go "whatsup dog" Never seen her since. F------ family guy. >>46584978 # >>46587730 # >>46588283 # >>46588730 # >>46590715 # >>46595808 # >>46597967 #

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Anon is a marriage counselor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:08:37 No.68386250 If you were guaranteed that you'd have a lifelong, happy marriage if you married pic related, would you do it? Note: She will not get skinnier throughout her life, and she'll gain a bit more weight if she gets pregnant, but never anything that 820 KB PNG would put her health at risk. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:33:04 No.68386560 >>68386250 (OP)# >She will not get skinnier throughout her life That means she is sick and not capable of producing a healthy offspring, which is a key factor in a lifelong, happy marriage. Get f-----.
: Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:08:37 No.68386250 If you were guaranteed that you'd have a lifelong, happy marriage if you married pic related, would you do it? Note: She will not get skinnier throughout her life, and she'll gain a bit more weight if she gets pregnant, but never anything that 820 KB PNG would put her health at risk. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)18:33:04 No.68386560 >>68386250 (OP)# >She will not get skinnier throughout her life That means she is sick and not capable of producing a healthy offspring, which is a key factor in a lifelong, happy marriage. Get f-----.

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Anon is hurt deeply by his soulmate. | /r/Greentext


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Anon can't stand it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:56:42 No.68389181 >start video >woman narrator STOP >immediately stop video who else cant stand when women pretend to understand things? 44 KB JPG
Anonymous 04/26/22(Tue)22:56:42 No.68389181 >start video >woman narrator STOP >immediately stop video who else cant stand when women pretend to understand things? 44 KB JPG

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Anon is Bavarian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aH4VIxDY ) 04/26/22(Tue)16:16:13 No.374826735 Pretzel road, take me home To the place I belong Based Bavaria, weißwurst mama Take me home, pretzel road 106 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: aH4VIxDY ) 04/26/22(Tue)16:16:13 No.374826735 Pretzel road, take me home To the place I belong Based Bavaria, weißwurst mama Take me home, pretzel road 106 KB JPG

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No.531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse >I load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants >proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan
File: 1391724376420.png-(139 KB, 600x301, thumb_8027-1373996494.png) Anonymous 02/06/14(Thu)14:06:16 UTC-8 No.531132589 TT: Work stories >work at furniture warehouse >I load furniture into cars for costumers that come in for pick up >guy comes in for couch >after couch is loaded I see his order form >says his name is Dubs Checkum >last two digits of order are 38 >"Nice roll f-----" >say it as boss walks by >boss walks over to customer and asks if everything is okay >customer is laughing so hard nearly s---- his pants >proceeds to give me the best review of my life >boss is so impressed i get a promotion >mfw I got a promotion for calling a customer a f----- >mfw I now make more money because of 4chan

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Anon is Reddit mod | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies/1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)04:59:12 No.848781924 >Create Reddit account >Notice my arms start to get chubbier >Panic as my stomach begins to bulge out >Waddle towards the door >Fingers are too fat to grab the handle >Sit down to catch my breath 686 KB PNG >Body is getting fatter >Hair begins to grown on my neck >Clothes start to rip apart and fall to the floor >Skull starts to reshape, creating a fedora like form atop my head >"Mom help me!" >Mom enters the room >"Anon, what's going on!?" >"I'm... I'm a big chungus!" >Mom bursts into tears >l'm now a redditor 5 Replies/1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a request | /r/Greentext

1551751881455.png 145 KB PNG Looking for a loli green text about a guy going on a road trip and gets his 12 year old sister to sit on his lap and he c--- his pants, anyone got it? : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:01:19 No.795905762 >>795905672(OP) # >be me >road trip with 12 year old sister >cummed in my pants >>795905885 # >>795907574 # : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:02:48 No.795905885 >>795905762 # that was it. thanks >>79590610 #
1551751881455.png 145 KB PNG Looking for a loli green text about a guy going on a road trip and gets his 12 year old sister to sit on his lap and he c--- his pants, anyone got it? : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:01:19 No.795905762 >>795905672(OP) # >be me >road trip with 12 year old sister >cummed in my pants >>795905885 # >>795907574 # : Anonymous 03/26/19(Tue)02:02:48 No.795905885 >>795905762 # that was it. thanks >>79590610 #

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anon takes a piss | /r/Greentext

>take a piss >drops of piss visibly splash back out of the toilet and across the entire room >always feel drops hit my skin and clothes, sometimes even up 29 KB JPG to my face Do I have an unusually powerful piss stream or is it a dark open secret that everyone's showering in their own piss all day everyday?
>take a piss >drops of piss visibly splash back out of the toilet and across the entire room >always feel drops hit my skin and clothes, sometimes even up 29 KB JPG to my face Do I have an unusually powerful piss stream or is it a dark open secret that everyone's showering in their own piss all day everyday?

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Anon, are you here? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Ве you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 КВ PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Ве you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 КВ PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a grower | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...
Anonymous Ba 03/03/15(Tue)17:15:35 No.383353 >taking a piss at university >American student walks in >"Cold day, isn't it?" Why do Americans talk to strangers? Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:16:24 No.3835 he was calling your d--- small Anonymous 03/03/15(Tue)17:17:29 No.383 File: 1387850227320.jpg (70 KB, 330x319) >>38335310 (OP) >Taking a piss >"Cold day isn't it" OP...

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