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Anon does something nice | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time
Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anons living the life | /r/Greentext

05/01/22(Sun)00:00:31 No.68438322 >girl i used to go school with uploaded pic containing her soles to insta It is a dream come true I will be busy tonight 05/01/22(Sun)01:29:25 No.68439292 : Anonymous 297 KB PNG : Anonymous have fun for me anony
05/01/22(Sun)00:00:31 No.68438322 >girl i used to go school with uploaded pic containing her soles to insta It is a dream come true I will be busy tonight 05/01/22(Sun)01:29:25 No.68439292 : Anonymous 297 KB PNG : Anonymous have fun for me anony

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Anon goes wrong. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 >be me >go to coffee shop >order a hot chocolate with marshmellows >overhear two women are talking at the other table >pick up programming words like "while loop" and "cpu" 64 KB JPG >I like programming stuff >approach their table confidently >"Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" >they look at me >I repeat myself >they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand it >I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) >one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) >they seem to be trying to get rid of me >I insist and ask her what their conversation was about >it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah [something about optimization]" >I have no idea what the f--- she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all >change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses >she says it's C >I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) >they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) >one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" >I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby >the conversation doesn't continue >they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?
Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 >be me >go to coffee shop >order a hot chocolate with marshmellows >overhear two women are talking at the other table >pick up programming words like "while loop" and "cpu" 64 KB JPG >I like programming stuff >approach their table confidently >"Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" >they look at me >I repeat myself >they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand it >I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) >one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) >they seem to be trying to get rid of me >I insist and ask her what their conversation was about >it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah [something about optimization]" >I have no idea what the f--- she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all >change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses >she says it's C >I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) >they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) >one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" >I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby >the conversation doesn't continue >they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?

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Anon’s cat is the best | /r/Greentext

02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 Anonymous >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area 570 KB JPG >she presses her paw up to the glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today
02/12/19(Tue)20:46:04 No.792494021 Anonymous >be me, 17f and in treatmen and recovery from r--- >walking through petco to pick up crickets for my friends pet lizard >lock eyes with this cat in the adoption area 570 KB JPG >she presses her paw up to the glass >cryinginpublic.jpg >l impulsively adopt her >two months later, sucidal thoughts almost nonexistent and able to talk to strangers again >cat is my best friend, she never leaves my side when I'm home and encourages me to get out of bed in the morning Don't forget to give your pet a hug today

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anon is a victim | /r/Greentext

03/27/22(Sun)04:36:08 No.52685126 Anonymous >>52683366 (OP) # >wife is Ukrainian >order her a cat tail buttplug and cat ears from Etsy >war starts the moment we're ready to try it >she hasn't been in the mood to try it for a whole month I'm a victim too. >>52685185 # >>52685934 # >>52686273 #
03/27/22(Sun)04:36:08 No.52685126 Anonymous >>52683366 (OP) # >wife is Ukrainian >order her a cat tail buttplug and cat ears from Etsy >war starts the moment we're ready to try it >she hasn't been in the mood to try it for a whole month I'm a victim too. >>52685185 # >>52685934 # >>52686273 #

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Anon has no crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)11:24:37 No.877294500 tfw haven't had a crush on someone for 6+ years 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)11:26:16 No.877294550 >>877294500 (OP) # Thats what happens when you don't do s--- but sit at home and play vidya while viewing /b/. >>877294697 #
: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)11:24:37 No.877294500 tfw haven't had a crush on someone for 6+ years 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)11:26:16 No.877294550 >>877294500 (OP) # Thats what happens when you don't do s--- but sit at home and play vidya while viewing /b/. >>877294697 #

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Anon’s about to become homeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)14:11:39 No.877299453 >be me last winter >heating system in my flat is broken >try to contact rental management by phone - no response 86 KB PNG >try contacting by text message - no response >try contacting by email - no response >goes on for 1,5 month >decide to not pay rent and leave a voice mail: "since you're not sending someone to repair the heating system, I'll hire someone myself and pay them from the rent I've retained" >come home from work the next day, 7 new voice mails Oh now you can talk
: Anonymous 05/01/22(Sun)14:11:39 No.877299453 >be me last winter >heating system in my flat is broken >try to contact rental management by phone - no response 86 KB PNG >try contacting by text message - no response >try contacting by email - no response >goes on for 1,5 month >decide to not pay rent and leave a voice mail: "since you're not sending someone to repair the heating system, I'll hire someone myself and pay them from the rent I've retained" >come home from work the next day, 7 new voice mails Oh now you can talk

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Hustle economy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)15:50:37 No.65823522 >make a reddit account posing as a girl >repost nudes i got from /b/ >invite redditors to send me clips of them jerking off 14 KB JPG >send those clips to gay dudes and get them to buy me stuff >return that stuff for money >use that money to tip camgirls

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 195 KB PNG >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because I'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 195 KB PNG >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because I'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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The Milky Way | /r/Greentext

That guy who keeps posting Kag(...) 479 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)02:09:46 No.68443813 >Lactose intolerant >Has lactation and breastfeeding fetishes Why has god abandoned me
That guy who keeps posting Kag(...) 479 KB JPG 05/01/22(Sun)02:09:46 No.68443813 >Lactose intolerant >Has lactation and breastfeeding fetishes Why has god abandoned me

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The last Crusade | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)10:32:57 No.68434397 >be christian >bored af because I only go to church like twice a year >heard that islam has some based opinions about women >that's it, I will be a muslim and slap some hijab asses 132 KB JPG >go to the local mosque >"ayo I'm down with Allah, one baptism please" >they kick me out of the mosque looks like I'm with Jesus for some time
: Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)10:32:57 No.68434397 >be christian >bored af because I only go to church like twice a year >heard that islam has some based opinions about women >that's it, I will be a muslim and slap some hijab asses 132 KB JPG >go to the local mosque >"ayo I'm down with Allah, one baptism please" >they kick me out of the mosque looks like I'm with Jesus for some time

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Anon‘s grandpa does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 : Anonymous Cant have s--- >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit
06/16/21(Wed)18:57:08 No.64177130 : Anonymous Cant have s--- >be me >23 year old male >poo fetish >usally order the goods from websites specialised for this kind of stuff 231 KB PNG >moved to detroit recently >couldnt take the poo with me >ordered new poo online >package didnt arrive >ask ups they say it has been delivered >w--? >check security cammera >some porch pirate stole the f------ package >mfw Cant have s--- in detroit

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anon finally made it | /r/Greentext


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Anon on vikings. | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets swoll | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >fat and retarded >don't do anything with my life >old friend introduces me to the gym >start going once a week 231 KB PNG >absolute monkey, don't know any form >do research on form, learn about nutrition >start going to gym 6 days a week >use bro split >realise that's f------ retarded so start using push pull legs >do nothing but gym, work, eat, sleep for 2 years >me now >used to have giant stomach but I can now see my abs >used to have double chin but now I have a defined jawline >narrower waist, broader shoulders >d--- increased in size from fat loss in pubic bone >now I'm only retarded I still get no girls /b/ros, but the grind was all worth it. Hardstyle and Zyzz will change your life. 05/01/22(Sun)09:54:54 No.877260780
Anonymous >be me >fat and retarded >don't do anything with my life >old friend introduces me to the gym >start going once a week 231 KB PNG >absolute monkey, don't know any form >do research on form, learn about nutrition >start going to gym 6 days a week >use bro split >realise that's f------ retarded so start using push pull legs >do nothing but gym, work, eat, sleep for 2 years >me now >used to have giant stomach but I can now see my abs >used to have double chin but now I have a defined jawline >narrower waist, broader shoulders >d--- increased in size from fat loss in pubic bone >now I'm only retarded I still get no girls /b/ros, but the grind was all worth it. Hardstyle and Zyzz will change your life. 05/01/22(Sun)09:54:54 No.877260780

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anon's bullies get karma | /r/Greentext

04/01/22(Fri)11:11:24 No.68025806 : Anonymous >be millennial >all my bullies joined the military in the height of afgan and iraq war >all are either dead (mostly suicide or opioid overdose), maimed, or divorce r---- and paying alimony and child support >all while I got into crypto social media does have it's bright side, watching their lives collapse in real time is top tier fap fuel
04/01/22(Fri)11:11:24 No.68025806 : Anonymous >be millennial >all my bullies joined the military in the height of afgan and iraq war >all are either dead (mostly suicide or opioid overdose), maimed, or divorce r---- and paying alimony and child support >all while I got into crypto social media does have it's bright side, watching their lives collapse in real time is top tier fap fuel

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Anon gets the vaccine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office available now for only $69.99 per year
: Anonymous 5 KB JPG 05/23/21(Sun)16:30:43 No.8551462 >be me >just got COVID vaccine >have sudden urge to purchase Microsoft Office available now for only $69.99 per year

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Anon gets a phone book | /r/Greentext

most retarded moments thread? > be me > be 11 100 KB JPG > in car with family heading home from county fair > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate
most retarded moments thread? > be me > be 11 100 KB JPG > in car with family heading home from county fair > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate

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Anon switches careers | /r/Greentext

05/01/22(Sun)00:12:27 No.877258467 : Anonymous > be me live in s----- country > work 7 years in bars and restaurants > quit to pursue new career > find job as english speaking phone operator for an outsourced call center > internet addicted my whole life so english is really good and i can fake an 69 KB JPG english accent > do the training and be told to sell some bogus magazine monthly subscribtion at the end of customer service calls > dont think much of it > within a week i sell record breaking amounts of magazines because the customers are in the UK and everyone else speaks broken english > be encouraged to decorate desk and feel at home > everyone is super nice and they say we are family > get candy and bell rings when i get a sale > feelsgood.jpg > get call from manager saying they want me in sales > go to sales and people talk me up > get assigned under the best seller for training and she brags alot > be told my only job now is to call people and sell magazines > get more sales than top seller on first day > get commisions so sallary is 3 times more than old job > start to realise most calls are old and vulnerable people > be encouraged to read the terms and conditions really fast so they dont understand what they're signing up for > make alot of sales to people that can't hear well or have dementia and alzheimer's > feelsbad.jpg > job is soul-sucking > make a call to an old lady who is dying of cancer and says she will buy the magazine if we can talk abit > she reminds me of my mother who died of cancer > i start crying on the phone > put my one weeks notice the next day > spend my last week doing origami and not getting any sales on purpose > found another job that only pays 1k a month but makes me happy > feelsgoodagain.jpg
05/01/22(Sun)00:12:27 No.877258467 : Anonymous > be me live in s----- country > work 7 years in bars and restaurants > quit to pursue new career > find job as english speaking phone operator for an outsourced call center > internet addicted my whole life so english is really good and i can fake an 69 KB JPG english accent > do the training and be told to sell some bogus magazine monthly subscribtion at the end of customer service calls > dont think much of it > within a week i sell record breaking amounts of magazines because the customers are in the UK and everyone else speaks broken english > be encouraged to decorate desk and feel at home > everyone is super nice and they say we are family > get candy and bell rings when i get a sale > feelsgood.jpg > get call from manager saying they want me in sales > go to sales and people talk me up > get assigned under the best seller for training and she brags alot > be told my only job now is to call people and sell magazines > get more sales than top seller on first day > get commisions so sallary is 3 times more than old job > start to realise most calls are old and vulnerable people > be encouraged to read the terms and conditions really fast so they dont understand what they're signing up for > make alot of sales to people that can't hear well or have dementia and alzheimer's > feelsbad.jpg > job is soul-sucking > make a call to an old lady who is dying of cancer and says she will buy the magazine if we can talk abit > she reminds me of my mother who died of cancer > i start crying on the phone > put my one weeks notice the next day > spend my last week doing origami and not getting any sales on purpose > found another job that only pays 1k a month but makes me happy > feelsgoodagain.jpg

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Anon hates civilization. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)21:40:22 No.68441249 >be 6ft4 170lbs alpha male >be working in a construction site >spill a bag of cement >a wild 5ft7 120lbs manlet supervisor appears >he starts going ape s--- over the spilled cement bag 75 KB JPG I f------ hate civilizations robots. Without civilization I can easily squeeze that c---'s throat, kill all of his kids and impregnate his wife to pass down my superior silverback genes. But all I could do was say sorry and putting back the cement or else I would have lost $25.
Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)21:40:22 No.68441249 >be 6ft4 170lbs alpha male >be working in a construction site >spill a bag of cement >a wild 5ft7 120lbs manlet supervisor appears >he starts going ape s--- over the spilled cement bag 75 KB JPG I f------ hate civilizations robots. Without civilization I can easily squeeze that c---'s throat, kill all of his kids and impregnate his wife to pass down my superior silverback genes. But all I could do was say sorry and putting back the cement or else I would have lost $25.

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